Chapter Text
The sheer happiness that flooded Tamsy Caines the moment he saw the shorter figure sprinting toward him, intercepting him midway down the second-floor corridor. Tamsy immediately flashed his best smile—the softer one he reserved only for moments like this. He halted his steps and waited as the fifteen-year-old boy came to a breathless stop right in front of him.
Honestly, it was rare to find Rudo Surebrec anywhere near him.
Several factors contributed to that conclusion. First, they weren’t on the same team—Tamsy in Eager, Rudo in Akuta—which meant joint missions were uncommon. And even when they did overlap… well, that was that. Second, there was an unmistakable boundary between them. A wall so solid it felt impenetrable. Something that sometimes made Tamsy wonder whether all his efforts had been pointless.
After all, he had already killed someone to get this close.
Tamsy wasn’t the type to give up easily.
Yet…
Sometimes the surge of frustration pushed him toward reckless impulses.
And he never wanted to cross that line.
No matter what…
“Tamsy, I heard we’re on the same mission again—finally, after a whole month!”
…he loved him.
Rudo was still trying to catch his breath.
Tamsy gestured for them to keep walking; they were already fully geared for the mission, clearly headed to the same place. “You stopped me just to say that?”
“I saw you come out of your room. What’s wrong with going downstairs together?”
Tamsy let out a soft chuckle, watching Rudo fall into step beside him. “I was kidding. I’m really glad we get to do a mission together again.”
“Me too.” Rudo answered without meeting his eyes. “I heard it’s the four of us today. Apparently some black-market traders are being harassed by a monster they’ve never seen before.”
Tamsy listened attentively.
Truthfully, that was about all he could safely do right now.
He knew he was 'holding back', but if he ever gave in to the impulse, he knew exactly where it would end.
That was why Regto was dead, wasn’t it?
“I’m a little confused,” Rudo said. “Are Cleaners really okay with taking jobs from bad people?”
At that, Rudo lifted his face to look directly at Tamsy, waiting for an answer.
So Tamsy smiled, quietly fighting the urge to reach out and smooth the messy strands of hair.
“How long have you been living on the Ground now, Rudo?”
“Uh…” Rudo tried to recall. “Five months, I think?”
Tamsy shook his head. “Exactly 179 days.”
Rudo winced—half in awe, half in horror. “You… remember it that precisely? You’ve been counting?”
“Maybe I just like numbers,” Tamsy replied gently. “It’s nothing compared to the real me.”
Rudo sped up a few steps just so he could turn around and face Tamsy while still walking—now backward—staring at him in open amazement. “Wow. I mean, I already knew there’s a lot I don’t know about you. You’re seriously so cool, Tamsy. That’s why I really missed getting assigned to the same mission again.”
Then look at me.
Rudo stopped walking backward the moment they reached the end of the corridor, right before the first step of the staircase. He turned around but kept glancing back every few seconds, as though Tamsy might vanish if he wasn’t careful. “Seriously, Tamsy,” he said as he began descending the stairs slowly, fingers gripping the cold metal railing tightly. “Aren’t you tired of counting the days since I arrived? I forget it myself half the time.”
Tamsy’s quiet laugh echoed softly through the empty stairwell. He took each step one behind Rudo, deliberately keeping distance even though every instinct screamed to close it—to press a palm against that small back. But he knew the boundary.
He always knew.
“I’m not tired,” Tamsy answered lightly. “Besides, if I don’t keep count, I’m afraid I’ll forget what it feels like to wait for something that actually matters.”
Rudo suddenly froze mid-step.
Tamsy nearly collided with his back. The boy turned, one eyebrow raised, expression caught somewhere between suspicion and genuine confusion.
“Something that actually matters?” Rudo repeated, voice quieter than usual. “What do you mean?”
Tamsy paused. His gaze dropped to the still-damp tips of Rudo’s hair—probably from a rushed shower earlier. He wanted so badly to say it; you. I mean you.
But the words were too heavy.
“Hm?”
“Like… an interesting mission,” Tamsy finally said, offering a crooked smile. “Or a friend you haven’t seen in a long time.”
Rudo huffed, though the corner of his mouth lifted slightly. “Liar. You were definitely thinking of something else.”
He continued down the stairs, but slower now—as if giving Tamsy room to catch up.
And Tamsy did, of course.
He always followed.
“If I told you I think about you every day,” Tamsy asked softly, almost a whisper, “would you believe me?”
Rudo nearly tripped on the last step. He grabbed the railing harder, face flushing all the way to his ears. “Huh? What? Don’t just say stuff like that out of nowhere! I could’ve fallen, you know!”
Tamsy laughed again—this time freer, brighter. “Sorry, sorry. Just kidding.”
“That’s exactly it—you’re weird sometimes,” Rudo shot back quickly, though he wasn’t really angry. His eyes flicked sideways toward Tamsy, then he hurried forward the moment they reached the ground floor. “Other people say that too, you know?”
Tamsy followed behind, smile never fading.
They were almost at the lobby now—the original destination.
“But I’m really happy whenever I’m around you, Tamsy.”
Tamsy went still. His heart lurched upward, then plummeted back down.
Wait—was that a confession?
“So I can ask you tons more questions about yourself! Don’t get the wrong idea!”
Tamsy’s smile thinned until it was barely there.
In the end, Rudo still didn’t see him that way.
Zanka Nijiku stepped out of his room with measured strides. The door closed softly behind him, barely making a sound. The third-floor corridor felt colder tonight—or maybe it was just the blood rushing harder through his veins. He had already checked his mission gear three times; the only thing that truly mattered was Lovely Assistaff gripped tightly in his hand.
Another day that felt exactly the same.
A day where nothing would ever change—not his feelings toward someone, nor that someone’s response to him.
It was depressing…
Zanka was well aware of how difficult he was to be around, how hard it was to place himself in any social equation. He knew he was stiff—many people said so outright. Too rule-bound. Not fun at parties. None of it was inaccurate.
He had just descended two steps when something—someone—ambushed him from behind.
Strong arms wrapped around his waist, yanking him backward until his back pressed flush against a familiar warm chest. The faint scent of citrus soap mixed with traces of cigarette smoke slipped into his nose.
Zanka stiffened instantly, but he didn’t move, didn’t try to break free. Only his breathing hitched for a second before he forced it steady again.
“Zanka~” Enjin’s voice purred right against his left ear, that teasing lilt that never failed to make the vein in Zanka’s forehead throb. “You’re out so fast. We’re on the same mission, you know?”
Zanka drew a slow breath through his nose. His heart slammed against his ribs like it wanted out. He could feel Enjin’s heartbeat against his back—calmer, lazier, as though hugging someone like this was completely ordinary for him.
Maybe it was.
Enjin was famous for exactly that.
“Let go,” Zanka said flatly, voice cold as unmelted ice. But he didn’t struggle. His hands simply curled into fists at his sides.
That only made Enjin chuckle softly; the vibration traveled straight down Zanka’s spine. “You always act like I’ve committed some crime against you.”
No… it’s not like that.
I just don’t know how to behave around you…
“Are you lonely?”
Zanka jerked his head around and glared. “I-I’m not lonely.”
“Liar.” Enjin laughed under his breath, shrugging one shoulder while his hand patted Zanka’s waist casually. “I passed by your room earlier and heard moaning coming from inside.”
Fuck.
Zanka genuinely hated how paper-thin the walls were in this base. So different from the respectable family estate he used to live in.
“Were you… doing something in there?”
“I was just running a fever!” This time Zanka actually shoved Enjin away hard enough to break the hold.
Enjin stumbled back two steps, raising both hands to ear level in mock surrender. “Easy, easy—I was kidding~ I didn’t hear a thing~”
Motherfucker...
Zanka could feel his face burning and refused to let it show. So he simply quickened his pace, refusing to walk side by side.
“You’re always cute when you’re mad, Zanka.”
Fuck you…
Even though Enjin’s words made him want to scream like some lovesick girl, Zanka knew he wasn’t the only one who heard lines like that. He knew he was pathetic—because no matter what happened in a day like this, it was all just an illusion Enjin created without meaning to.
Yes…
The man he loved in secret.
Truthfully, Zanka despised this uncontrollable feeling. Especially because Enjin was so impossibly out of reach. Not only was the man a notorious Casanova who would probably never take love seriously, but the age gap made everything heavier. Eleven years. If Zanka were already over twenty, it might not matter so much. But at seventeen, every single thing felt like a chain holding him back.
As if the world itself refused to let him fall in love this deeply.
Ah… whatever.
He didn’t even want to imagine how wrecked he would be if Enjin ever returned his feelings.
“Seriously though, Zanka. I didn’t do anything wrong, right? Is this about last night’s dinner? Because I finished the mashed potatoes in the pantry?”
Zanka huffed quietly. “You’re just too loud.”
“I feel normal?” Enjin caught up easily, nudging Zanka’s shoulder lightly. “Maybe you like me that way.”
Zanka didn’t answer. He only sped up, descending the stairs faster. Unfortunately Enjin matched him without effort—those long legs and 190 cm height made it effortless.They were almost at the final flight leading to the lobby. Their footsteps echoed in the empty stairwell.
Then Enjin suddenly stopped, gently tugging Zanka’s arm to make him stop too.
Zanka turned, brows furrowed. “What now?”
Enjin looked at him for a long moment. This time the smile wasn’t playful or flirty. It was… softer.
Damn it, Enjin…
Don’t do this…
“Be careful on the mission later, okay? I know you’re strong, but… don’t go charging in alone. If anything happens, call me. I’ll always come. I don’t want a repeat of last time. You were… hurt so badly back then…”
Something stabbed through Zanka’s chest—not pain, but an unwanted warmth. For several seconds he was silent until he finally registered it and pulled his arm free from Enjin’s grip—gently, not roughly.
“I’m not a child,” he answered coldly. “And you’re not my savior.”
Enjin gave a crooked smile, as though he’d expected exactly that response. “Not a savior, true. Just… someone who doesn’t want to see you get hurt.”
Stop… stop giving me false signals…
Zanka could only stare at Enjin for a beat—maybe too long. Then he turned his face away and continued down the stairs.
Enjin followed, voice still carrying softly behind him. “And Zanka… if you’re ever feeling lonely, just say so. I’m here.”
You bastard…
I know you’d never put me before…
Zanka’s ears burned. Beneath the cold mask, he was fighting desperately to keep his heartbeat from being audible to anyone—especially Enjin.
The rest of the descent passed in tense silence.
Zanka had just stepped into the lobby when Semiu’s voice cut through from the reception desk. She stood there, arms crossed, several sheets of paper in her left hand. Behind her glasses, her sharp gaze swept over the four arrivals almost simultaneously.
“Good. You’re all here,” Semiu said without preamble, her voice carrying quietly through the still-empty room. “Today’s mission is the four of you; Zanka, Enjin, Tamsy, and Rudo. Yes, it’s rare—Tamsy is subbing in for Riyo, but his jinki will almost certainly be needed in this case. The target is the unidentified trash beasts reported by black-market traders in the southern sector. According to the reports, it’s large, fast, and has extensive partial regeneration.”
Fine.
This was going to be a heavy mission and…
…boring.
No, actually, it wasn’t really boring.
The new type of garbage monster did exist, and damn, it was genuinely horrifying—why the hell could this thing regenerate partially in a way that just kept making it grow bigger and bigger? Shouldn’t it just revert to its original size?
The noise was deafening. Metal and steel clashing violently with every strike from their respective jinki. Movement had to stay lightning-fast, even with the masks on because they were in a contaminated zone.
But…
The only ones actually working were Rudo and Enjin.
Rudo, with his 3R gloves, had turned a broken broom into an insanely cool, oversized Vital Instrument—slashing, blocking, carving chunks out of the monster. Meanwhile Enjin, wielding Umbreaker, kept shattering every fresh piece the creature regenerated.
And then…
Tamsy and Zanka—each with their jinki already active, Tokushin and Lovely Assistaff—were simply standing side by side.
It wasn’t that they didn’t want to help.
It was just that…
“Damn it, Enjin! You’re in my way!”
“Don’t get mad, baby.”
“Stop calling me baby!”
“I just enjoy teasing you.”
“You talk too much—watch out! Enjin!”
“Calm down, calm down. Hold on.”
“E-Enjin? Why are you carrying me?!”
“I’ll help you from here, okay? Hold onto me—we’re jumping.”
“O-okay?”
“You smell nice. You just showered?”
“What the hell did you just say, you lunatic! Focus!”
“I am focused~”
“T-Throw me after this, okay?”
“…”
“En-Enjin… your face is way too close…!”
“You’re the one who needs to focus, Rudo! Get ready!”
…that was what was happening.
Rudo and Enjin seemed… way too caught up in their own little world?
Oh, sure… Tamsy knew that… Rudo apparently liked Enjin.
And… Zanka himself knew that… Enjin liked Rudo.
They were probably just… held back by the insane age gap between them.
Even so, both Tamsy and Zanka were thinking the same thing; that might not end up being a real obstacle. Right now it was just denial between them—or maybe they simply weren’t ready to admit that nothing concrete had actually happened yet.
Even though…
The signs were painfully obvious.
“Ugh… disgusting.”
While glancing sideways, Tamsy caught Zanka—behind his half-faced mask—grimacing in revulsion at the scene playing out about twenty meters away.
“Ever look at someone and feel like throwing up?”
“Looking at Enjin?” Tamsy shot back.
Zanka whipped his head around, clearly not expecting that. “What? I meant Rudo. You don’t see it?”
“From what angle does Rudo look disgusting?” Tamsy asked calmly. “Rudo’s just acting like himself. You don’t see how disgusting Enjin is being right in front of him?”
“E-Enjin’s just being playful—”
“Enjin is flirting with him.” Tamsy cut Zanka off, pointing forward with the massive Tokushin. “A grown man seducing an underage kid. That’s disgusting.”
“H-ha?” Zanka’s reaction was instant rejection. He half-turned his body to face Tamsy fully. “You don’t see it? Rudo is blatantly flirting with Enjin. Enjin’s just overly friendly and that hormonal brat is reading it as something else.”
“You sure you want to blame the innocent kid?” Tamsy asked.
Zanka looked like he was about to gag. “Innocent? Ew.”
“Hey,” Tamsy started chuckling softly. “You got a problem with Rudo?”
“You’re the one with a problem with Enjin?” Zanka fired back, holding nothing back. “You’re jealous of him because nobody likes you. Wait—do you even know how many Cleaners feel uneasy around you? You’re too weird. That ‘friendly’ act of yours is creepy. It’s like you’re hiding a ton of secrets behind that angelic face.”
Behind his mask, Tamsy smiled—letting it show only in the slight squint of his eyes. “That insult wrapped in a compliment sounded very personal.”
“Oh, hell, who complimented you?” Zanka rolled his eyes hard before looking forward again, clearly trying to break eye contact. “You’re in a different team. Don’t talk like you’re part of Team Akuta. I’m the one who sees how Enjin normally acts every day, but Rudo’s out here playing tug-of-war like a teenager when what he really wants is to get fucked.”
Tamsy went quiet for a beat before his voice dropped lower. “Keep accusing Rudo like that and I might actually swing Tokushin at you, Zanka. Watch yourself.”
“Why?” Zanka let out a mocking laugh, saying exactly what crossed his mind. “You like him, huh?”
No answer from Tamsy.
Before Zanka could fully register what he’d just said, he snapped his gaze back to Tamsy. Unfortunately, the man six years older beat him to it.
“You like Enjin. I know.”
“A-and…” Zanka was suddenly in disbelief. “Hell no. Don’t tell me… you like that annoying fucking Sphereite?”
Tamsy met his eyes straight on—hard to read when his own were glowing from his active jinki. It was one of the things that made Tamsy so unreadable. People who called Zanka unreadable were lying to themselves.
“You… insane, Tamsy?”
“I’m not insulting your choice.”
“Oh, you asshole,” Zanka’s tone shifted back to pure irritation. “You just trashed Enjin completely.”
“Yes.” Tamsy didn’t deny it. “Enjin, not you.”
“The fuck…? What the hell is this? You… do you hear how you just talked?”
Tamsy didn’t reply. He simply turned his face forward again. Either way, Tamsy always understood his real position. It already felt far too late to turn anything back—unless he forced it. “I’m just calculating the possibilities. What happens… if Enjin and Rudo finally ‘understand’ each other’s feelings… and… it’s already too late for me to step in.”
That one hit Zanka straight in the chest. Slowly, he turned his gaze forward again—to watch his own fear solidify into something real now that someone had peeled it open from his chaotic mind.
They could both see it clearly that Rudo and Enjin working together perfectly—full of glances, teasing, casual touches. As if Tamsy and Zanka were witnessing, in real time, how both of them were holding themselves back.
Only…
What if they stopped holding back?
That would be…
Absolute defeat for Tamsy and Zanka, wouldn’t it?