Chapter Text
“And that concludes the broad operations to root out western degeneracy and infiltration through subliminal class warfare. We were able to break up several distribution rings for Westlandian movies and music, and as such the intellectual purity of our people has been defended valiantly, and in doing so we have acted to protect future of this nation. Children are most susceptible to subversive media and our swift actions have protected the thoughts and morality of numerous children. Though this does not mark an end to our operations we have reached a point where most of our agents are free to be assigned to other projects.” Yuri spoke with confidence and authority befitting of an officer who had done a job well done.
“Thank you kindly for your rapid action Leutnant Briar, let his dynamism be as an inspiration to the rest of you, he took a task force, on western entertainment and was able to in the space of a mere two months achieve serious results. That concludes the morning all-hands, we all have our tasks, Yuri if you would follow me after this. The rest of you are dismissed. Try to get what you can done before the weekend.” The old and experienced Major Löwe gave one last look surveying the men under his command before giving a final nod.
The blood of the SSS began diffusing into various offices around the building. There was no shortage of meat hooks to hang enemies of the state, but there was a shortage of time and hands to perform the requisite labor. Yuri Briar held himself with pride as he followed behind the Major, eager to hear his next assignment. His mind spun stories of promotion as he walked, imbibing his step with a perceptible spring. He had already wondered into thinking of the conversation he would have with Yor, telling her about, not the exact specifics but the broad strokes. It would be nice to have something to keep her hanging on the phone line a little longer instead of circling the same subjects as always. This time he would have more to tell her than a stock story spun about a false trip to Hungaria. Obviously, he would have to falsify it, but at least he could tell her something which had more of the truth contained within.
The room could be no bigger than a servant’s quarters, it was not much bigger than his direct superior’s office. There was a window to the left which let in some light. A green electric reading light, behind the desk were bookshelves piled high. The desk itself was wooden, unlike his, and it looked clean enough to eat a meal off, unlike his. There was a leather writing pad, and a row of pens. It was the confidence of a man who felt no need to show his own power, and merely allude to it. After all any office could be his, this office was in itself a statement of intent. Yuri stood back a little.
“Please.” The Major said gesturing to the open seat in front of the desk.
Yuri almost gave a salute before sitting down. His movements were strained and mechanical as he descended into the chair.
“So, Yuri, you have gained quite a lot of attention, a reliable, capable, intelligent asset, something that has become rarer than it should in these halls.”
Attention was a dangerous word and Yuri found himself tensing up, even as the praise served to melt him a little. While Yor’s words were like rays of sun at midday carried by an angel, the Major’s still had a certain brightness and heat to them.
“It was all to protect our nation’s future sir.”
“I have no doubts about your loyalty Yuri, or certainly not yet, I know you’ll do whatever is necessary in pursuit of your duties.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“No, what I called you in today is about the possibility of promotion, you have done good work and you would be a good example to the rest of the men that the chain of command needn’t be so calcified if you put in the requisite effort. There have been doubts cast however.”
Yuri’s heart sank. “Doubts, sir?”
“You said it yourself didn’t you, the nation’s future, you’re young, starting a bright career, but, are you a man with a future, Yuri?”
Yuri paused before answering. He did not want to ask a question in response. Instead, his mind raced for whatever book page it could find to plug together an answer.
“As a public servant I dedicate myself to protecting the nation, a nation is composed of its people and through their defense we maintain the integrity, power and our ability to compete with the west. Our duty as Secret Police is to undertake whatever tasks necessary to protect and serve.” Yuri strung together whatever he could scramble to say pausing before suddenly the last word he needed to say rose up at the back of his throat. “Sir.”
“And therein lies the problem. You were paraphrasing our handbook, the words I wrote. If you needed elaboration then that was the time to ask. Yuri what I mean to say when asking my question is that while you are intellectually no doubt invested in our nation and its future, and I can appreciate that, there are concerns that you are not personally invested in our nation’s future.”
“Sir?” Yuri asked tilting his head slightly. His heart was racing he had a feeling he knew where the conversation was going.
“Now don’t let this get in the way of the good work you’re doing. You had a sister didn’t you, unmarried, childless, does the Briar family have a future in this nation?”
“Well technically speaking sir, there are several families in the city with our surname.”
“Do you honestly think that’s what I meant.”
“No sir.” The words falling like a whimper after such a through rebuke.
“Personal investment in this nation’s future. A family, something to protect and motivate. I have been in your shoes Yuri; the fire of youth can only take one so far. I’m paying you the courtesy of telling you why you would be passed over so you don’t sit in our meetings silently seething at whatever second rate officer was promoted in your stead. You can take this advice into consideration, meet a nice girl, get married, I know how young you are I know this must seem early but.” The Major paused as the words got caught in his throat. “You should undertake this sooner rather than later, would be my own personal advice.” He let out a sigh.
The words came each as a nail hitting into him. He wanted to shoot back that he knew, that he tried, that there was no-one worth taking time away from Yor. Though on that subject, he thought of a new line of attack.
“Sir, I’m an uncle now, my sister she got married recently.”
“Then let your sister be an example to you. The times we find ourselves in, they will not last forever.” The Major touched a scar on his cheek. “A nation’s future is its people, Yuri.” He looked the younger man in the eyes.
“Understood sir.”
“That’s all for that then, oh and regarding your new assignment, there are voices in the government who are worried about the psychiatric profession there have been concerns raised by the health ministry that rogue psychiatrists are spreading western degenerate theories in their practice, I would appreciate if you could form another taskforce and begin another investigation.”
“Yes sir.”
“Expect a dossier on your desk before the day is out, dismissed.” The Major said with a wave.
Yuri left the office with a salute. The meeting was a little removed from the daydream he had imagined. Still if Yor had been able to find a husband maybe he could call her for advice on doing the same. Even in failure there could be enough to fill a conversation with her. He walked back to his desk with little left to do other than shoulder the paperwork for an operation well done. Make sure the correct names found themselves in the correct records for proper correction and punishment. Every pen stroke setting the world right. He let out a sigh satisfied. The others had gone off for lunch at the cafeteria but Yuri would crack on, he didn’t want to listen to their asinine conversations.
He let out a sigh trying to digest the Major’s words, as he waited for a wire from the correction section, they weren’t unfamiliar to him. He had heard it growing up, the pressure from his peers. The usual set of slurs. He didn’t understand why lacking a girlfriend was that much of a big deal, enough to be called gay over and over. Not that he was, after all. It was just that no other woman could compare to Yor, though even then he didn’t like her like other people seemed to like women. She was his sunshine, she was the reason he would work so hard, but he didn’t want to. Even the thought of looking at Yor sprawled on the covers of a magazine nude made him feel sick. Let alone seeing it in person. They were animals really. People were. Even those who were supposed to be there to help maintain an ordered society were not that much better. All he wanted was her to be there to care for him, to look after him, just like before when they were together. To have someone in his life to get rid of the emptiness in that apartment of his. He was just as much an animal, looking for somewhere warm to sleep.
Yuri cracked his fingers. Idle hands are the devil’s plaything after all. He set back to work; the wires having come back. Filling his mind with something else than idle reminiscence even if it came bubbling back. He would just need to work harder. Before long though there was nothing left to be done. The dossier the Major had mentioned hadn’t yet hit his desk. He was left to sit there and stew. He ran his eyes over the newspaper even reaching into the obituaries, until he was liberated by the appearance of what he was waiting for.
Top secret written in red ink that was so common as to be asinine at this point. He tore into it like a child tearing into presents. It was not what he had hoped as far as a pitch goes. The memorandum from the Health Ministry gave a quota. His brow furrowed. An estimation that 10% of those in the psychiatric profession had been influenced by the west, 5% beyond any correction. These weren’t good numbers. The rest of the memorandum gave no basis for them. There wasn’t any kind of assessment criteria. This reeked of a measure taken so that a new health minister could have something to tout. There was a twang in his gut. There wasn’t any logic here. At least with the smuggling of western movies there were criminal gangs some with legitimate and bona fide affiliations. This was nothing. If it was nothing then Yuri would just have to make it something. He started drafting a plan. First, he’d assess western diagnostic criteria and then cross-reference it with published literature by psychiatrists themselves. The quotas he could try to stave off by rephrasing them as estimates to the department. He started to get to work.
Still, he thought, this could be a useful opportunity to get rid of a certain troublesome psychiatrist. Forger the fetter, holding Yor away. If he would have to break down families based on flimsy logic the least, he could do was make sure one of those families was one which deserved to be broken up. A family that was too perfect. A smile spread across his face imagining that Loid Forger locked up. Though knowing that Loid he almost certainly had an annoyingly perfect publishing history. Still, Yuri could spin the words to say whatever he wanted, the art of his job. After starting the preliminaries, it was time to go home. Back to that empty apartment.
The men were tired today, packed into the changing room. The cabinet had just been reshuffled and there was a glut of ministers wanting to prove their bona fides, which meant full schedules, full prison cells and a full changing room. Yuri just wanted to get it over with and go back home. There was a chorus of laughter, the source was a blonde bombshell, naked and splayed across a center fold. Nothing like a gravure magazine to boost morale. They approached Yuri.
“Well Yuri what do you think.” One of them held the page up to him, it was another Leutnant. “She really is a looker isn’t she,” he said with a laugh.
Yuri looked at the display, the large breasts. They did not elicit any particular reaction. Yet the men around him seemed to expect it would. Again, he felt the pressure, the Major’s words echoing in his ears. If only he could just see that girl like they did. His whole body tensed up, he knew how he was supposed to feel intimately, that he couldn’t manifest it, there was a tightness in his chest.
“Yeah, she really is.” Yuri said wearing a stiff smile.
“What kind of girls do you go for anyway Yuri, you’ve never talked about anyone other than your sister.” The colleague said tapping away at the open locker door.
The picture felt sullied by the touch of an animal, even insinuating that Yuri looked at Yor like that, like she was some meat fit for consumption. Yet if he could see any girl like that, anyone maybe it would be easier for him. Maybe he just had to try harder.
“Oh me, I just like women with uh, long hair I think, with dresses.” Yuri tensed up. He scrambled for more words to say to elaborate just like when talking to the Major. “Maybe brunettes or black hair.”
The Leutnant looked him up and down “You have to be more specific than that.”
Yuri sensing, he was saying the wrong thing again tried to scramble for something. “I think I prefer the ones with brown hair, though I’ve never really had the time for dating, I had to work hard to protect my sister so I’ve never really thought about dating.”
“Yuri, the confirmed bachelor.” The Leutnant said lurching towards him.
Yuri looked him back, with a glare in his eyes. He knew the euphemisms; it was far from his first time.
“Leave the boy alone Hans.” Another one of the men put a hand on the Leutnant’s shoulder. “He’s still young.”
“Sorry Yuri.” The bravado replaced by a certain solemnity.
“Thank you for the apology.”
“Let’s get drinks tonight, let me make it up to you, buy you a drink.” The Leutnant held himself back from making another joke.
Yuri thought about it. It would do good to let the man make amends, they were colleagues for better or worse, and he was feeling ever so tense, a drink would not go amiss, even if it was bought by an animal such as him. “Sounds good.”
They finished getting changed. There was an inkling in seeing the other men that triggered something he dare not engage with. It was always embarrassing having to strip and be around other men stripping, there was nothing else to it.
Their feet carried them the rest of the way to that dingy little bar. They looked like any other group of civilians on a Friday night. Yuri was even more desperate for a beer. He knew that doing so would be dangerous for him, he knew he was particularly weak to alcohol but maybe it was just what he needed. He noticed several stylish debutants there. This could be the day if he could just push himself. Though any girl he talked to would be an imposition on his time with Yor, but at the same time he could get a promotion and work harder for her. On his professional trajectory before long he could find himself sitting at the Major’s desk directing the whole department.
“Yuri, what are you having?” The Leutnant interrupted his thoughts.
“I’ll have a dark beer.”
The Leutnant nodded before heading towards the bar. After a few drinks the conversation had circled again to Yuri’s lack of romantic success or interest. Though it took an unexpected turn, as if to make up for the previous accusation the Leutnant started to butter up one of the broads at the bar. This was his chance to prove himself. He was the kind of man who had a future. He just needed to try. That was the issue. He had never had reason to try. He could be charming when he wanted and the giggling girl at his arm was proof of that. Though how far it was his social skill and how far it was the alcohol in their blood was anyone’s guess. They ended up in a cab heading towards her apartment, it was something of a surprise. There was a voice at the back of his head worried she was a spy, that she already knew his workplace that she was going to get him, that she was going to take him away from Yor. He started to feel sick. Yet he steeled himself the rest of the way saying sweet nothings.
It came time to kiss her, to kiss this woman in front of him. He knew the mechanics of it he was not familiar with it but he placed a chaste peck on her lips. Clearly, she expected more and she certainly wouldn’t let him pass the threshold to her apartment without a little more to show his interest. His willpower could push him further; he closed his eyes focusing on the sensation. He probed into her mouth, swirling his tongue like he was operating a machine behind a pane of glass. He couldn’t get his body to react to her. He was getting tired of having to lead her and have her movements follow his. He wanted to reach down touch himself, that was something at least he was familiar with and give her enough proof to proceed.
His performance was satisfactory enough for her to invite him in, she went to the bathroom to freshen up she said. He knew what came next, he could put the pieces together as much as the pit in the bottom of his stomach wanted this all to stop. He wanted to wake up outside the door the next day after completing the mission. He couldn’t do this; there was something wrong. He went to her living room eyes scrambling wildly, then he saw the record player with western music lined up next to it, he fumbled through and found two western records, unsanctioned and illegal. He would know being the executor of the law. He could leap for joy as he ran to the nearest phone booth. He turned in the tip and then he wandered into the night going to subsequent locations to burn away her saliva from his mouth.