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The second thing that I notice when I wake up is a faint whirring that starts up around where my eyes should be. Which is really weird, because there’s no sound on the moon! Just a bunch of paperwork and the same old sights everyday with what little sun gets here! By the way, the sunlight? It’s totally bonkers! Days are suuuuper long and nights just drag on, and on, and on! And we don’t get any breaks! Just paperwork, then turning the lights on, then paperwork again until we face the sun, and turning off the lights, and paperwork again, and it’s all so dull, and boring, and I wanna do literally anything else, and—
Oh, darn, I’m going in circles, aren’t I? Well, point is, sound travels by bouncing around tiny little particles and vibrating the air, and there isn’t any air on the moon, so there’s no sound!
No sound, except for—
“Morning.”
The first thing I noticed.
Even though the pen’s what my eyes decide to focus on, hers are what pop up, all their green-ness and life rattling around in my skull until it starts to feel numb.
This… can’t be real. The pod gave me some dreams, occasionally—something about Tsukuyomi? And singing? And I think I was Yachiyo in them?
Weird.
But lately, they’ve been about one thing. One person.
Drinking tasteless soda in the dusty old apartment where it all began.
Holding her on the solid surface of an ocean, letting her go and hearing her cry that she wants me back.
On stage with her, watching her hold back tears as she tries to recapture what was.
Looking up at her as she stays up way past her bedtime on her computer, but not making her go to bed, for some reason.
And now…
Her voice is so much better than any other song I’ve heard.
And I heard a lot of them—from Yachiyo, from Mikado, from artists all across the Earth! Every single one is unique in its own way and I don’t think anyone could replace any other. Art—sound is magical and I’ve always held it close to my heart.
But there’s only one song that could make me put up with all the dull, boring work for even longer than I have to.
There’s only one song that could get rid of that little voice at the back of my head telling me that I’d done enough and that the memories I’d managed to make were enough.
And there’s only one person whose song could make me hijack time itself to get back to her.
Iroha.
Even after she scoots off to the side, I can’t quite bring myself to look away from the afterimage.
I’m not still dreaming, am I? But this feeling of air on my skin, everywhere, the kinda painful ceiling lights, I don’t think I could imagine it this well.
“Ugghhh…” It’s super weird. Like, my brain thinks I need to stretch, but my body knows it doesn’t actually need to. “Wow, it’s heavy.”
But…
I don’t think that matters anymore.
I’m back.
Iroha’s here.
I need to sing with her again—
I should cook for her again—
There are so many places we need to go—
We need to actually have our wedding—
“Well, it fits you better than the last model—”
“Oh! Pancakes!”
The room smells—kinda gross, actually. Like grease, and sweat, and sparkplugs! Blegh, what is this, a car shop? A robot lab—
Oh, wow, it might actually be a robot lab.
Is… is my wife a freaking mad scientist?
Did she become a mad scientist for me?!
I wuv her~
“We, um, haven’t quite worked out the sense of taste.”
“Oh, c’mon! I don’t wanna wait another second!”
I’ve waited for way, way, way too long anyhow! It took me, what, eighty years without a single break to get all my work done? And I’ve been asleep for, like, eight thousand more! And Iroha’s all grown up now! Like it’s been a decade since I last saw her, and—
There are tears in her eyes.
…For someone who was all, ‘hur, dur, I’m gonna be normal and have a normal ending like a loser,’ she can be awfully impatient, huh?
But it turns out, I’m the first one to complain. But, I mean, who could blame me? Iroha’s at least got something to chew on, running all these fancy tests for me, but I’m just going between running, or writing, or singing (that test is actually pretty fun!) to dancing (okay, maybe it wasn’t that boring) to doing math problems (I take it back—screw you, Iroha!), to cooking (Nevermind, I love you ♡), and by the end, I’m, like, totally pooped! Who knew getting a whole robot body could be this tiring?
“You weren’t listening to any of the stuff I was telling you between tests, were you?”
“Not even a little!”
Iroha sighs, but I catch the eensiest, weensiest little smile even as she’s trying to look all mean and annoyed. She loves me, ehehe~
“Well, I’ll give you a summary, then. Bottom line is, make sure to plug yourself in every night. You should be able to last a few days without a recharge, but we should stay on the safe side, just in case. Other than that, just let me know if you damage anything. Your artificial cells should be able to repair anything, but again, it’s better to be on the safe side.”
“That shouldn’t be a problem! We’re gonna be sleeping together every night, aren’t we?”
“I—”
Aww, she went all red! Looks like Iroha’s not all mature after all! I’m gonna have so much fun with her.
Anyways, she gives me a little talk about how I’ve gotta keep the pod with my original body safe because while she’s copied over all of my brain’s data, she doesn’t know if changing the connection and using that copied data is gonna do something weird to my consciousness (something about my old body’s brain doing stuff whenever I do stuff? I didn’t really get it) and then…
We head home.
“You really held onto this place, huh?”
“I made more than enough money on the side with Yachiyo. With future you?”
“She’s also Kaguya! Sure, she’s a dusty, old lady, but that name means a lot to me! To us, I guess?”
“Mmm. How should I tell you apart, then?”
She asks that right as we get to the train station, taking a pair of seats as we get ready for even more waiting (ugh!). And I don’t think Yachiyo actually minds her name—she chose it for herself, after all! It’s, like, a symbol of devotion! Of love! Of course, I love Iroha way, way more, but, still!
Anyways,
Her elbow’s on the handrest.
Her facing the sky, limp. I bet I could shove her off and she wouldn’t even complain—just give me that little tired laugh she started doing right around when she knew things were going to end.
…I really hated that laugh, y’know.
You could stand to be a little more selfish, Iroha.
Like, my hand’s right here! You didn’t have any problem taking me by the wrist back then, did you?
But I guess I like that considerate part of you too. Even if it pisses me off sometimes. Plus…
“Maybe by touch?”
I’m inconsiderate enough for both of us.
Her hand is warm. So warm. I’m glad she worked on getting my touch and temperature before taste—I don’t think there’s any pancake in the world that’s better than this.
They’re a little callused. Did you pick up the guitar, Iroha? I think I have a faint memory of that—peeking out from behind the camera as you went from barely getting out an F chord to writing whole entire melodies from nothing.
Are you nervous? I can almost hear your blood pump-pumping under your skin (she really brought out the big bucks for my touch sensors). Did you miss me? Of course you did—the memories are clearer now, of sleepless nights where Old Kaguya would sing lullabies until you drift off, of days where you couldn’t get yourself out of bed to do anything but log into Tsukuyomi and hold Yachiyo until you cried out all your tears. Of course, you missed me.
Do you love me?
And again, the answer is ‘yes’. Obviously. Would anyone learn how to build freaking robots for anyone they only kinda liked, or missed? No freaking way. Even if she doesn’t say it, I can feel it, in the way that her hand is shaking, but holding on tighter than a vice, like she’s afraid I’ll float away if she relaxes for even a second.
So, I’m not annoyed that she hasn’t said it back yet. Nope. No, sirree.
Anyways. She’s holding my hand too tight and it’s kinda hurting (and it cannot be good for her—I can see her knuckles turning white!)
“Hey, Iroha?”
“Hm?”
“You mind loosening up a little?”
“Ah. Right. Sorry.”
It’s like watching someone pry open a mousetrap before it slams back down onto their finger (it happened to Mami one time and it was super funny!)—it’s her hand twitches like it’s gonna move, and then it clamps back down again, like she’ll die if she isn’t holding on with everything she has.
…That really isn’t too far off what actually happened, huh?
Well, this won’t do! I love Iroha, so I can’t have her bein’ such a scaredy-cat all the time!
“Hey, Iroha?”
“What is it, Kaguya?”
And the way she says it, it’s like she’s talking to a little baby, her wife, and a god all at the same time. Like she couldn’t dream of ever saying ‘no’ to anything I asked her.
“Could you pucker up real quick?”
“Wha—here?!”
Ah, there’s the Iroha I know and love! Well, I love every Iroha I meet, but it’s been a while since she’s looked at me like I was a crazy person!
Eight thousand and ninety years, to be exact! Ehehe~
“Can’t you wait until we get home?”
“I think we’ve waited long enough.”
And even all the way back then, I think it wasn’t long before she stopped getting angry for real.
“Honestly… Just—just, don’t just do it out of nowhere, okay? You can’t kiss someone without asking them first.”
Oh, Iroha.
“Then, can I please, please, please kiss you?”
She obviously isn’t going to give up that easy, so I gear up with the biggest, softest puppy-dog-eyes I can bring before she can get another word in to convince herself (because there’s no way in hell she’s convincing me) and—
She closes her eyes.
And she leans in.
This is…
This is really happening, huh?
I thought it couldn’t happen.
I thought I’d never see her again, let alone touch her, or kiss her.
And I thought I was fine with that.
Stars, I was so wrong.
A moment passes.
I don’t waste another.
I can’t taste her. But I can feel her, all the little bumps and ridges in her chapped lips (I’m gonna fix that right up when we get home!), her soft little nose and how it bumps against mine, the scent of her breath, or caffeine and nutritional jellies that can’t be good for her (again, lots of work for me back home!) and even if I can’t taste her skin, I can still taste her.
Iroha tastes like her name, like colours. Like the bright red of a candy apple, or the brilliant blue of her giant boomering—like the fleeting touches of our secret handshake and the sweet, sweet victory of putting Mikado in the fucking dirt where he belongs, and—
Like home.
Like life.
Like love.
I love her.
I love her so much.
How was I able to live so long and work so hard without her with me?
Because I wanted to see her again.
Because I needed to see her again.
To touch her again.
To taste her for the very first time.
I love her.
I love her so much.
“A-alright. That’s… That’s enough. We’ll do more at home, o-okay?”
Fine. I suppose I’m happy for now. My head’s all floaty—it’s a little hard to walk to the train as it pulls in, Iroha helping me to my feet when I have a bit of trouble on my own (I just got this body today, okay? (I love her ♡)).
She’s all red, and a little sweaty, and she’s not looking at me, and she’s still holding pretty tightly, but she’s loosened up a little. I could escape her. If I wanted to.
But I don’t, so really, nothing’s changed.
Except that she’s a little looser now.
She’s even looser when we get home—looks like all that overworking herself’s finally caught up, huh? She pinches the bridge of her nose as we get in, the door slamming shut behind her, and—
There’s the familiar scent of home.
Of Iroha.
I love her.
“I kinda stayed up last night to put the finishing touches on you, so I couldn’t make anything, but I was thinking we could get some takeout, and—woah!”
Her door’s pretty sturdy. Or maybe my arms are just a little weak? I probably would’ve torn a hole through it if I was like before.
Either way, Iroha’s knees give out and I follow her to the ground, crawling up to her on all fours, motors whirring around as I do.
“Kaguya…”
“I love you. I told you, I don’t wanna wait another second. Maybe I’ll learn how to be patient by tomorrow, but today? I’m not gonna wait.”
“Even if you… even if you want this, I didn’t give you the right parts—”
“I want you. So much. Can I? Please?”
I nuzzle into her neck as strong as I can, letting my tongue out to drag across, and I can’t taste the salty sheen of sweat on her, but I can definitely feel her start to squirm a little, hear her nerdy excuses die in her throat as I get up, and see her face all messed up. For me.
From me.
From how much she wants me.
From how much she’s missed me.
From how much she loves me.
“Be gentle with me, okay?”
“I’ll try, but no promises, ehehe~☆!”
“O-okay… just don’t take it too far…”
I love her.
I love her when she talks sense into me, breaking down every little thing wrong with whatever stupid idea I’ve come up with to get followers and making me cry before she helps iron out the kinks and turns it into something that actually works.
I also love her when she smiles and laughs, goes along with those same stupid ideas because that’s what makes her happiest—to try, jump, laugh as it crashes and burns before putting the pieces back together. Because whenever I’m jumping off cliffs or flying up to the moon, Iroha’s there to catch me.
But I also love her when she’s weak. When she’s vulnerable.
When she needs me.
I love her so much.
So I won't wait another moment.
###
“Iroha.”
“Ka—Kaguya.”
She’s so cute.
She can barely talk now. Her throat must be super duper dry by now, right? I’ll make sure to make her something nice once we’re done—none of that takeout BS she was talking about.
She’s adorable.
There are more memories coming back to me. Nights where Iroha felt so, so alone, nights where Yachiyo had to remind her what she was working for. She was so much taller than the screen, but at times like that, she looked so small.
It’s okay now, Iroha. I’m here.
And I love you.
She’s all red now, wincing when I kiss her soft, little cheek, but she pulls me in close and doesn’t let me go. I still can’t taste her, but I can feel how smooth it is, how there’s just a little bit of dryness that hangs around my tongue.
She’s cried so much. Too much.
Even now, she’s crying a little. Like she doesn’t believe I’m actually here with her. Like she’ll wake up and I’ll be gone and these last ten years’ll have gone up in smoke. Like I was never really even there to begin with.
Well, now. That just won’t do!
I slip out from her hands and she cries, and my heart hurts (do I even have one of those?) but I need to remind her that I’m here. That nothing can take me away again.
“Hey, Iroha? Can I have a little nibble?”
“Um!” Is she gonna say no? “Y-yeah. Go ahead, just—no blood. Okay?”
“Okay~☆”
Her belly is really flat. And narrow—too narrow. I’m really gonna have to step up my cooking game!
But for now, it’s my turn to eat~♡
Maybe I’ll help myself to an Iroha rib? I bite down, and I can’t quite get deep enough to get to her bone, but her skin is nice and stretchy, bunching up in my jaw, and I still can’t taste (phooey), but I can feel the little pricks of hair on her, go gaga and the texture, revel at the little noises she’s making, at how she squirms a little whenever I get close, and when I scrape my teeth against her, there’s this sharp little noise as her ribs expand outwards, and I can’t get enough. It’s not enough now and I don’t think it’ll ever be enough, even if we stayed like this for eight thousand years.
But I still love her.
I want to taste her. Even more, now that I’ve felt her, but oh well. She’ll let me do it one day—I know she will! For now, though, I move up, up, up until I’m looking at her chest, and—
It’s beautiful. I never got to see it until now—Iroha never let me in the bath with her (rude!), but now?
I can see her now.
And I love it.
I love her.
They’re… not, like, stupidly big or anything? I take them in my hands, which wrap around them almost all the way, and we stay like that for a bit. I was making a little fun of her in my head for how she looked like she couldn’t believe I was here, but now? I think I get it. Like it’s too good to be true—like I never thought something like this could actually happen.
It’s funny. I was so ready to just run right into things, but now that I’m here, I can’t help but want to take my time with her a little.
To savour it—we have all the time in the world now, after all.
I plant a kiss on the tip of her right—no, her left boob (on my right) and she does a funny little wiggle, and she doesn’t say anything, but she makes the cutest little whimper as she wraps her arms around my head, and I can almost hear her begging me to ‘just get on with it already’.
“Your boobs are freaking fantastic, Iroha~♡”
“T-ten years and that’s the first compliment I g-hahhh…”
I nip at her neck, and her voice trails off (I love, love, love her~♡), and obviously her singing is my favourite sound in the world, but this? It’s definitely up there.
I want to hear more of it.
So I do a little more. I bite, lick, and suck down her neck to her collarbone, leaving pretty little red circles and bite marks allll over her, and she shifts around and around, like she can’t decide if it’s too much and she needs to get away, or if she needs more, more, more and she needs to get as close as she can to me, pressing her body up into my mouth before I can pull away.
“You’re so cute, Iroha. I love you so much~☆”
She tries to growl, but I trail my fingers down the bony little hills of her spine and kiss her again, and the sound tapers off into something softer, the faint scent of caffeine and overwork (adeno-something? I remember hearing about the sleepy-chemical’s name somewhere) slipping in through my mouth before I let tongue out into hers and she does the same to me.
“I love tasting you,” I say, letting up a little when Iroha pushes a little at my shoulder, hers rising and falling faster than before. “It’s better than anything I could’ve imagined.”
“You can’t even taste anything, dumbass…”
“Man, why’ve you gotta be so mean all the time?”
And there’s the smile I love so, so much, the one that asks ‘how are you this stupid’ and ‘why the hell do I still love you more than anything else’ at the same time, and I could stare at her forever.
I love her.
I love her so much.
My head’s getting foggy from how much I love her. From all of our kissing, my biting, and licking—from her. Because of Iroha.
I want more. It’s never gonna be enough and I’m gonna spend every single second getting closer and closer until I can’t anymore, and I’ll take it all.
I want all of her.
She’s so pretty. I thought I was looking at an angel before, from her perfect makeup to her lab coat and perfect clothes, but now? When her lipstick’s a little smeared and she’s not wearing anything but that bracelet? The last part of me I left her with?
I want her.
I push a little more now—I kiss faster now, long, indulgent bites turning into little nips and make her whine for more. I grope a little harder, first her back, then her butt, and she reaches up like she’s gonna smack me, but then, she just cups my face and pulls me in for another kiss, and she tugs at my tongue, digging nails into my head, and I think I’m in heaven now. I must have died and taken too long because there’s no way that Earth, in all its cruel brilliance would let me have something this amazing.
But Iroha would. And I trust that she did.
She deserves the world.
And it’s probably super corny to think this, but even if I can’t give her the world, I can give her me, and right now, I think that’s what she wants the most.
I reach down.
And it’s a little slippery. Warm. Iroha lets out this cute little squeak when I find it, so I must be doing something right.
“Kaguya, a-are you really—”
“Yep! Hang on tight, Iro-P, cause I’m gonna—ow! What was that for?!”
“You sounded like you were about to say something stupid.”
She smacked me! How rude! I’m trying to make her feel good, and she just smacks me like that? Rude, rude, rude! But! I still love her, so I can overlook it just this once.
And when my hand brushes up against her, all of that icy coldness in her gaze just melts. Her eyes glaze over and her mouth drops just a little bit open, he voice just a little bit deeper as she gasps in time with my hand as I kiss up her jaw, along her ear before biting into it again, and I can almost see my voice rattling around in her emptying skull as she squeezes her lips shut tight before the wobble a little before springing apart again when I dig my thumb into her, singing a melody that I need, need, need to hear more of or I’ll wither away and die.
I still can’t taste her. But I can feel her clenching into me, watch her eyes squeeze shut as she babbles so fast that I can’t catch even half of it, but it doesn’t matter. It’s Iroha’s voice, Iroha’s face, and Iroha’s body, so I’ll cherish it for as long as I can.
Ten seconds pass. I’m pressing my lips into hers and sucking on her tongue to let all of her cuteness drain from her lungs and into me.
Another seven and I’m pulling my sopping wet fingers out of her (She really did good on the waterproofing, huh?) as I trail kisses down her, tongueing her belly button until she jerks her hips up, yelling at me that she’ll get upset if I keep stalling.
Tsk. So impatient~♡
Three more and I’ve hooked my arms under her legs, staring up at Iroha’s face, a mix of embarrassment and want, want, want, and after two more—
I get a little taste of heaven.
And It was already worth it, spending more than eight thousand years all alone, spending eighty working my ass off at a job that freaking killed me, because I got to see her and hold her hand again, but now? I would spend another eighty-thousand just to be here with her like this.
I still can’t taste her. But her thighs squeeze against my head, the tiny little scraps of logic and burnout that were still stubbornly hanging around my head flying out and right back to the moon where they belong as I lick, suck, and love her, loving her as she digs her heels into my shoulders, loving her as she tugs me into her by the hair, making me moan into her, loving her as she finally yells “I-I love you, Kaguya,” as her hands, legs, insides tense up, holding me so close I think I might suffocate even though I don’t have lungs, and then—
It’s just us.
On the bed.
With nothing but that old silver bracelet, our bodies, and our love.
“Hmph. I think you’re it’s a little late to say something like that, Iroha.”
“…Sorry.”
And she looks up at me, all dazed and a little sad, and I think I get why she could never say no to me.
How could I ever say no to someone I love so much?
“Well fine, then! I suppose I can forgive you, on two conditions!”
“Eh…?”
I think she’s coming back to me now. She picks herself up off the bed, grimacing a little at the little puddle of sweat in the sheets (I’ll toss it in the laundry for you, Iroha! Or maybe I’ll just buy some new sheets and save this one for when I get my taste back, ehehehe~♡), propping herself up against the bedrests.
“One: we’re doing our comeback concert as soon as possible! The world needs to know that Cosmic Princess Kaguya’s back and better than ever!”
“It’s booked for next week. Yachiyo and I made arrangements the moment I thought your avatar was going to work.”
I wuv her~☆
“And two: We’re getting married! I don’t care if it’s not legal yet, even though it would be completely bogus if it wasn’t—we’re gonna have a huge wedding, and we’re gonna invite everyone, and you’re gonna kiss me in front of all of them, and we’re gonna say we love each other in front of the whole wide world, and—”
“And we’ll promise to be together forever. I’ve been wanting this as much as you have, Kaguya.”
And it’s funny that she says that! It’s been, what, ten years on her end? Meanwhile, I busted my butt for a whole human lifetime, plus a hundred more! You’d think I’d be the one who’s got it worse for her, right?
But there’s this fire behind her eyes, and in her voice, and grease stains on her hands that I didn’t give her the chance to wash off, and despite all that, I don’t doubt her for a second.
“Fine! You’re forgiven as long as you don’t take it back!”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
And then we’re holding hands again, and before I know it, we’re kissing again as the sun sets and the room turns all orange, and I think—
I was afraid of so many things. Of staying stuck in one place forever, of never seeing anything new, never getting to taste, or feel, but in under a year, Iroha washed it all away like it was nothing.
I love her.
And now that I’m with her, everything else seems so small.
And I think that now, I’m ready for tomorrow. And everything that’ll come with it.
###
Yachiyo was always wonderful. I think that I fell in love with her too, the first time I logged into Tsukuyomi, long before I’d really met her for the first time. I think that a bit of me knew that we were always meant to be together, one way or another.
Then I fell in love with her again. A different version of her. A different Yachiyo, who barreled into my life without a second thought—a shooting star with the sole aim to knock me out of orbit and careening into a brand new galaxy.
The third time I fell in love with Yachiyo was on the stage. And, like, could you blame me? I always thought she was extraordinarily beautiful, but when she trailed a finger up my shoulder like that? On stage? I’d have to be a block of ice for that not to do things to me.
Then there was the fourth, when she told me who she really was. When we spent the night in a facsimile of the old apartment, talking on and on about all her adventures, memories from someone who’d been searching for me for eight millenia, more time than any person should be able to comprehend, let alone live.
And then, the fifth. When I told her that she wasn’t enough.
She helped. She helped so much—talking me out of slumps, out of giving up, and back to work. Reminding me of who I was working for.
And today marks the sixth and hopefully, last time I fall in love with her.
For the first time, I slept well. And for the first time in ten years, the bed actually felt warm.
I love her. So, when I wake up, I roll over to look at her gorgeous face again, and—
She’s gone.
It…
It wasn’t just a dream, was it?
These kinds of days are the worst. The ones where I think I’m finally done, and everything slips through my fingertips. Even with Yachiyo’s help, I usually get to the lab about an hour late.
But I’m close. So close. I’m sure that today will finally, finally be the day that the avatar will fit, launch, and be her again, and I’ll finally be able to—
“Heya, Iroha! You’d better wake up, or I’m gonna eat up all of your breakfast!”
Oh.
Right.
It wasn’t a dream.
Of course it wasn’t a dream.
…
Thank god it wasn’t a dream.
I look up at the door, and there she is.
The person who I’ve given the last ten years of my life.
The person who I might just have to embrace immortality for.
The only person who could ever give me a happy ending.
“Kaguya.”
And when her name passes my lips, the goofiness in her face fades a little, turning to a gentle sweetness reminiscent of her other self as she stretches her arms out, asking,
“You wanna hug?”
Always.
Today, tomorrow, and every day after that.
And there’s so many other things that I want to do. I want to get your taste working again. I want to get on stage with you, play more games with you and my brother and Yachiyo, walk around Tokyo holding your hand, and—
And, um. Things like last night would be nice too. Maybe once I get that part of you up and running?
…Anyways.
I can’t wait for breakfast, Kaguya.
I can’t wait for our concert. For next week. For our wedding, and for when we announce it to the world, and when your body’s finally complete and I can return everything you gave me last night and more.
I can’t wait for you. And for our lives.
I love you, Kaguya.
And I always will. Forever.