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The Schloss hadn’t been quite as noisy for as long as he could remember, Klaus thought as he smoked morosely on the terrace overlooking the back garden.
It was a pretty picturesque place, complete with manicured lawns – not a blade of grass out of place – , meticulously trimmed hedges and blooming flowers in carefully designated spots; would’ve been a coveted tourist attraction, had the Major ever lost his marbles enough to entertain the idea of having hordes of ill-mannered tourists invade his home. It was also usually notably quiet, one of the Schloss’ three full-time gardeners normally being the only human presence in the vicinity. Now, however, that tranquility had been quite rudely interrupted by a slew of the wedding planner’s staff, who were busily putting together the flower arch and decorations for the wedding that was to take place the following day.
Never in his life had Klaus imagined that he would actually be holding a wedding here – and it wasn’t even his own! Then again, one thing he had never seen himself doing was oversee the preparations for his own father’s second marriage.
As if that wasn’t enough of a shock, there was the matter of his new stepmother. Out of all women in the world, his father had managed to land on the one Klaus had the most reason to object to – the mother of his most detested person in existence, his archnemesis Eroica. Klaus sincerely hoped he was right to not believe in God, because if He did exist and had done this to punish him, He had to be a pretty damn spiteful deity indeed.
At first, of course, he had opposed the idea of this marriage as much as he could – not that his father had been at all disposed to consider his objections, especially since he couldn’t very well disclose the actual reason for not wanting to become family with Eroica of all people. But in the end he had reconsidered, thinking that having family bonds might serve as a deterrent against that pervert’s relentless pursuit. And surprisingly enough, it seemed to be working – he had been staying under the same roof as Eroica for no less than seven days now, and the thief had yet to throw as much as one seductive glance in his direction.
Of course, that might be entirely due to the fact that his family was present as well, and therefore, for as long as that pervert was there, Klaus was determined to keep his guard up at all times until he left. But he had to admit that, far from being his usual annoying self, Lord Gloria had actually facilitated this whole wedding process, which in itself was quite a headache to begin with. Ceremony preparations aside, there was also the fact that for several days now he had been compelled to play host to a significant number of people, most of which he did not know at all; that alone was more than a little taxing on his nerves.
Dowager Countess Gloria, his future stepmother, had been the first to arrive a couple of weeks ago. To his surprise, Klaus had found her the easiest to get along with, despite the fact that she bore an uncanny resemblance to the Earl, save for the eyes – hers were a sharp grey-green, as opposed to Eroica’s cerulean blue. Their attitude, however, could not be any more dissimilar. Lady Gloria was prim and uptight, and oftentimes a bit annoyingly critical of things, much like his own father. She had been quite approving of him, though – no surprises there, seeing how her own son had turned out. On more than one occasion, Klaus had overheard her say to his father that even if he was unmarried, there was something to be said about being diligent and respectable, or praise his housekeeping of the Schloss. She might be a tad overbearing at times – again, not unlike his father – but overall, the Major did not find her more bothersome than any given elderly female member of his own family he’d had to tolerate for an extended period of time until now.
He did not have any doubt as to whether she would be a fitting spouse for his father. From what he had seen this past couple of weeks, the two of them got along splendidly. Neither of them displayed any demonstrative gestures of affection or, God forbid, romance towards the other – in fact, Klaus had more than once seen them spend an entire afternoon in each other’s company without exchanging more than ten words altogether – but despite that, or rather because of that, it was clear to him that they both enjoyed their shared time together. It was also very clear from the conversations he’d had with Lady Gloria, that her worldview and values were almost perfectly aligned with those of his father’s. He had, of course, been on the lookout to make sure this happy coincidence of opinions wasn’t hiding some deception or other on her part, but he was soon satisfied that his father’s new wife was as genuine as the pieces in her son’s private art collection. By virtue of his profession, the Major could usually tell at a glance whether someone was putting up an act or not; and just after a few days since her arrival at the Schloss, he was fairly convinced that Lady Gloria was quite sincere in everything she said – more so than necessary at times, in fact. Financially independent and her own mistress for a good many years now, the Dowager Countess had never felt the need to suppress her opinions for anyone else’s sake, and thus never hesitated to speak her mind, most of the time clearly expecting others to defer to her judgement. Still, that was his father’s problem to deal with, and therefore as long as he could not detect any foul play in the cards, Klaus was content to have her as his father’s partner. Now, the only issue was to get that ceremony over and done with as painlessly as possible.
Of course, some inconvenience could not be avoided, seeing as his father had insisted on hosting his future wife’s children and their families at the Schloss for the upcoming wedding. It made sense, since the tiny village of Eberbach offered no suitable accommodations for such a large number of high-class Britons, and if they stayed somewhere else it would mean quite a long drive for them to get to the ceremony on the day of. And as he obviously had the means to, it was pretty much his obligation to offer his hospitality to his soon-to-be in-laws. But even though he could see the logic in all that, the fact remained that having to socialize with no less than three married couples and their offspring, plus a pervy thief who grated on his nerves by his sheer presence alone, would make the week before his father’s wedding very stressful indeed.
Mercifully, Lord Gloria had opted to arrive without his usual annoying entourage; only Bonham came with him, under the guise of his personal attendant. The Major was actually pleased to see him; far from being a nuisance like his master, good-natured and helpful Bonham was actually a welcome aid for Herr Hinkel and the staff who were frantically busy both with the numerous guests and the wedding preparations. There was, however, another problem: seeing as Herr Hinkel had met repeatedly with both Eroica and Bonham in the past, it would be quite impossible for Klaus’ father and Dorian’s mother not to discover that the Earl and the Major had, in fact, been acquainted long before their parents got into this relationship. Klaus had been enormously worried, not knowing how his father and new stepmother would react when this came out, or how he could possibly explain it away. However, the issue was smoothed over much more easily than he had anticipated, thanks to Dorian.
Obviously having thought of the same things, the Earl had come armed with a spectacular performance: the moment he stepped inside the Schloss and laid eyes on the Major, he exclaimed theatrically, “Goodness gracious, my dear Major, I thought it might be you!” He then proceeded to explain with well-rehearsed smoothness how he had made the Major’s acquaintance many years ago when he had made an impromptu stop at the Schloss to admire the Eberbach collection of paintings, and how the two of them had occasionally happened to cross paths a few times during his many travels abroad on ‘business’. He had concluded his performance declaring dramatically, “But, dear me, what a coincidence! When Mother mentioned the name of her love interest, I couldn’t help but wonder about it; but she had said her intended one was around her age, so I thought it was impossible it had anything to do with you. I believed it was synonymity, or perhaps some distant relative of yours; I have to confess it never occurred to me that Mother’s new husband would turn out to be your own father.”
Eroica’s infamous powers of deception truly lived up to their name; his Oscar-worthy performance left no room for any doubts in their parents’ minds, and they were merely gratified that the two future stepbrothers already had an, albeit distant, social acquaintance to found their new relationship on. As for the Major, for once he was grateful that the bane of his existence was capable of fooling just about anyone into believing just about any wild tale; this time at least, it would come handy for their common purpose, which was to have this wedding proceed without complications.
The Major wasn’t entirely sure why, but for some reason Lord Gloria seemed to be just as invested in this as he was; it was quite the mystery, really. He obviously wouldn’t want this marriage to happen for the same reasons Klaus did, and try as he might the Major couldn’t come up with any other reason for this unusual motivation. Nevertheless, Klaus soon decided that whatever the Earl’s reasons, he should take advantage of this rare cooperative disposition on his part, and lost no time in recruiting his services for the upcoming wedding. Indeed, Lord Gloria soon proved to be of prodigious usefulness, well-versed as he was in all kinds of social events. Shortly after his arrival, he located and contacted a wedding planner in Bonn who was renowned for handling precisely this kind of upper-class weddings, and he even participated in most of the consultations together with his mother and future stepfather. Klaus was actually thankful to him for once, because if the Earl hadn’t stepped in for that it would fall to him to attend all these meetings about flowers and colour schemes and menu samplings, and he strongly suspected that he’d sooner fly to Moscow and turn himself in to the KGB than go through all of that. Fortunately, contrary to him Lord Gloria was entirely in his element in assisting to plan the entire celebration; he even found the time to inform Herr Hinkel about anything and everything his sisters and their families might require while they would be staying at the Schloss.
Dorian’s three sisters, complete with husbands and offspring were the last to arrive, a few days before the wedding was to take place. As expected, their arrival turned out to be the most rigorous testing of Klaus’ temperament of them all; not that there was anything particularly unpleasant about them, far from it. They were perfectly nice and well-bred high-society ladies and gentlemen, every one of them; problem was, they were just as sociable and chatty as Lord Gloria, while unlike him, they had no idea that for the Major, socializing was right up there with being tortured by Mischa the Cub and enduring the Chief’s company. However, there was no getting around it, so while using the Earl as a human buffer as much as possible, Klaus put himself through getting introduced to Dorian’s eldest sister Margaret and her husband Mr. Charles Bentford (senior partner of Bentford, Ashton & Brigham, Solicitors at Law, as he was promptly informed – can’t know too many lawyers, eh, old chap?), his second sister Elizabeth and her husband Mr. Robert E. Davenport (CEO of Davenport Capital Limited, the firm to go to for dividend stock investments, apparently) and his third sister Henrietta and her husband Mr. Arthur Pemberton, Esq. of Pemberton Lodge in Basingstoke, Hampshire (perhaps you’ve heard of our stables, Major, we’ve carried two Derby cups in the last five years!). Aside from the couples, there was also a half-dozen children ranging from a nerdy preteen who was apparently the future Earl of Gloria to a rambunctious three-year-old in diapers, so it was small wonder that by the time introductions were over, the Major was debating inwardly whether a world peace-threatening incident would be too much to ask for at this point.
Needless to say, the presence of all these guests sent the place into a flurry of activity and constant chattering, which Klaus could only tolerate for the sake of the wedding. However, even the Major’s iron will had a mighty hard time faring against Dorian’s sisters, who were most persistent in fawning over him and cataloguing to him all the single ladies of their acquaintance he simply had to meet when he came to visit them in England. Quite a few times he was teetering on the brink of losing his temper; but fortunately, Lord Gloria was watching over him like a hawk, and every time he saw Klaus on the verge of exploding he always managed to steer the conversation towards other topics, or somehow divert the attention of his sisters to some issue of the ceremony, or help the Major slip away to the company of the men. Not that this option was much of an improvement, since he had practically nothing in common with them, but at least they weren’t as hell-bent on fixing him up with some eligible young lady as their wives were.
It was, however, quite intriguing for him to see how Eroica, who shouldn’t have much in common with his relatives either, did not appear to find their company at all tedious and always managed to find a mutual topic of interest to talk about with everyone. He would talk about fashion and exchange high society gossip with his sisters; he would discuss with his lawyer brother-in-law the legal implications of some notorious theft and fraud cases (quite a few of which had been perpetrated by himself – little did the poor fellow know that he was giving legal advice to an internationally wanted thief); he would debate with his financier brother-in-law whether artworks were better long-term investment options than stocks and bonds; he would compare notes with his landowner brother-in-law about the upkeep and maintenance of estates, and so on. Even though Klaus already knew about Eroica’s worldly knowledge and acting prowess, it was still impressive to watch; there might even be a thing or two he could learn from the thief when it came to blending in, mortifying as that thought was.
And so, tortuous as they were, the few days preceding the ceremony eventually passed; tomorrow morning the wedding would take place and this whole charade would be finally put to rest, the Major thought with grim satisfaction as he drew in the last lungfuls of his cigarette. All he had to do was make sure everything went off without a hitch the next day, and then – hopefully he would finally be rid of Lord Gloria’s infuriating advances forever.
KDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKD
The day of the wedding dawned bright and early, full of bustle and cheerful anticipation. Since the wee hours of the morning already the entire Schloss was astir, practically everyone running around for some reason – or no reason at all. People were arriving in droves – the caterers, the florist, the minister, and, later in the morning, the guests; Herr Hinkel, the rest of the staff and Bonham were busy assisting the wedding planner’s crew with the final touches of the venue and seeing the guests in, Dorian’s sisters were helping their mother get dressed and fussed over her hair and makeup, the governesses were frantically trying to keep the children in check, Lord Gloria, who would be walking his mother down the aisle, was going over the ceremony details with the minister and the wedding planner yet again, and so forth. As for Klaus, who was left with nothing in particular to do (his father had adamantly refused any assistance with his own preparations), he had no alternative but to endure the company of Dorian’s brothers-in-law and their corny comments about how ‘emotional’ this day must be for him and how ‘stressful’ weddings are for men in general, and will the minutes to pass faster until the ceremony was over.
At long last, the wedding planner called for the guests to take their seats in the prepared venue in the back garden, and the minister instructed Klaus and his father to take their positions at the altar and wait for the bride to be brought in. It was late summer and quite hot for this time of year, and even though heat and cold are a matter of discipline, the Major was grateful that he hadn’t been obligated to wear his dress uniform for the occasion. His father was retired, and the German military uniform of World War Two he used to wear could never be an option anyway, so he had chosen to don a classic tuxedo, with his three highest order medals pinned appropriately over the left breast. Since the best man had to match the groom, Klaus had also gone with a black suit paired with a dark green tie, and two of his own medals being the only ornament of his attire. He had been rather skeptical about the color of the tie – his first choice had been a plain black one. But then Lord Gloria had said that a black tie would make his outfit look ‘too somber’ and that ‘it would be dreadfully inappropriate for the groom’s son to look like a pall-bearer’, and had given him this one to wear instead. He had said it was a ‘spare’ he happened to have in his luggage, but it was evident it had never been worn before – Klaus would wager his Magnum that Dorian had bought it and brought it over fully intending to have him wear it from the start. Of course, he wasn’t particularly inclined to go along with the Earl’s suggestion at first, but then Dorian’s mother and sisters had seconded it, saying all manner of nonsense about how the tie ‘brought out his eyes’ and suited him so well, and in the end even his father had pretty much ordered him to comply, so he had no choice but to accept it. He had no valid reason to refuse anyway, seeing as the tie was perfectly appropriate and tasteful, not to mention obviously ridiculously high-end, but he simply couldn’t shake off a certain feeling of unease, wearing something Lord Gloria had personally given him at a wedding, even if it was someone else’s wedding.
It certainly didn’t help that he had been compelled to stand there waiting beside his father for quite a while – the bride was traditionally late, apparently – with nothing to occupy himself with. His only distraction, and not a very welcome one at that, was overhearing the endless flow of whispered (but still very audible) remarks exchanged between Dorian’s sisters behind their silk and lace hand fans. The three ladies were seated at the front row, resplendent in their festive morning ensembles and hats, and didn’t look like they would run out of ceremony-related topics to comment on any time soon.
“See, I knew it, Maggie, Chanel was obviously the right choice. I don’t know what Hettie was thinking when she suggested Vivienne Westwood. Vivienne Westwood, really! Thank heaven Mama shut that down at once.”
“Oh come now, Lizzie, it wasn’t such an outrageous suggestion. My wedding gown was Vivienne Westwood, and it was fabulous.”
“Of course it was, Hettie dear, but you have to admit Lizzie was right this time. Vivienne Westwood wouldn’t really suit Mama’s tastes – you know how old-fashioned she is. Not to mention, the dear Colonel also seems to be awfully conservative.”
“Well, I suppose. Personally, I’m just relieved Arthur managed to dress himself appropriately for once. He always picks out the most dreadful mismatched things when left to his own devices. Thank goodness Dorian took him to get a suit from his tailor at Saville Row. It’s rather nice, isn’t it?”
“Oh, indeed! I was wondering where he got that. Say what you will about our brother, but he does know how to dress.”
“And pick out wedding planners, apparently. I wasn’t sure whether this Herr Kleimann would be any good, but he did a perfect job. Mama was very pleased with how the décor turned out. Oh, but hush now, girls! Here comes the bride!”
The guests quieted down as the wedding march started playing and Lady Gloria – soon to become Frau von dem Eberbach – appeared at the far end of the aisle, holding on to her son’s arm and with her three elementary school-aged granddaughters who were the flower girls trotting behind them. Sensible as always, Dorian’s mother had foregone the usual floor-length wedding gowns with long trains and veils and had instead opted for a very elegant ivory Chanel skirt suit, with ankle-length pleated skirt, and a little fascinator hat with birdcage veil to match. Dignified, understated and age-appropriate – just as it should be, Klaus thought. The Earl’s attire on the other hand…he found more than a little unsettling.
Contrary to all other male guests clad in black, blue, brown, or at least grey or tan, Lord Gloria had decided to show up in a blindingly all-white suit. The coat was Prince Albert type, with just a hint of embroidery on the lapels, and instead of a tie a baby blue cravat in an Ascot knot, the only non-white thing on his entire person. Not much in the way of jewellery, fortunately – just diamond studs in his ears and a cravat pin with the Gloria rose crafted in white gold, which Klaus hoped hadn’t been stolen recently.
On the surface, the outfit wasn’t particularly outrageous; a bit on the flamboyant side as expected, but very formal and not at all revealing – no one present seemed to be thinking twice of it, and normally, neither should he. But to Klaus at least, this ensemble felt very…bridal, there was no other word for it. Somehow, at that moment he was absolutely certain that if Dorian was the one to be wed, this was exactly what he would be wearing, down to the last detail. A sudden irrational fear gripped him; surely…surely the Earl wasn’t planning on pulling some unhinged stunt like hijacking his own mother’s wedding, was he…?
DKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDK
Of course, nothing like that happened. Lord Gloria walked his mother down the aisle with all due pomp and ceremony; upon arriving at the altar, he took her hand and, after placing a reverent kiss on her knuckles, presented it to the groom with a respectful bow. The Colonel received it and the Earl promptly retreated to the first row and took his seat beside his sisters; the minister began reciting and the Major let out a silent breath of relief he hadn’t quite realized he was holding until now.
The ceremony started and ended without a hitch. When it was over, the guests repaired to the garden’s largest open lawn where a small reception had been set up. It was a most elegant affair, the complete opposite of the Major’s tastes but perfectly suited to those of the newlywed couple; tables with white linen and delicate flower canisters, plenty of champagne, and a buffet that screamed ‘upscale wedding’: canapés, mini quiches, deviled eggs with caviar and other equally posh finger food (not a single fried potato in sight, unfortunately), as well as a dessert selection featuring macarons, mini panna cotta cups and chocolate-coated strawberries among other things. The only slightly modern touch was the DJ coordinating the music and dancing – strictly ballroom dancing, of course. Under the circumstances, Klaus had not been able to avoid a dance with his stepmother, which had been comfortably silent, and his stepsisters, which had been uncomfortably non-silent – mercifully, Lord Gloria had managed to ‘cut in’ just when his patience was running out every time. The Earl, on the other hand, seemed to be having a most enjoyable time; he danced with his mother, his sisters, and even some elderly aunts from the groom’s side of the family who were completely taken with him afterwards. He made sure not to drink excessively, though, Klaus noted with relief – he had never forgotten what a sloppy drunk Eroica was.
The newlyweds left the reception about halfway through to catch a train to Vienna, which was their honeymoon destination. Their children had jointly paid for a ten-day stay at the famous Hotel Imperial, as well as some opera and concert tickets for them to enjoy during their sojourn there. After their departure, the reception went on for a couple more hours, and then the guests gradually started leaving and the festivities were finally over.
It was late afternoon now, and tranquility seemed to have settled over the Schloss once again. Klaus was blissfully alone at the upper terrace with a glass of schnapps in hand, leaning over the railing in a rare moment of relaxation. Gott sei Dank, it was over. The ceremony was done, the newlyweds had departed in high spirits and were probably halfway to Vienna by now, and the rest of his houseguests had retired to their rooms, getting some well-deserved rest and slowly starting to prepare for their own departure at noon the next day. Soon, the Schloss would be quiet and empty again, as it should be. Everything had gone as planned. Now, all that remained was to see whether this marriage would yield the results he was hoping for…
“Ah, there you are, my dear Major.”
Klaus whisked around sharply and saw the Earl passing through the glass doors and leisurely making his way towards him, holding a champagne cocktail in his hand. He had changed out of his formal wear, naturally, and was now dressed in a casual white linen suit, sleeves rolled up to his elbows and paired with a light and airy white chiffon blouse. For some reason he seemed uncommonly bent on wearing white today, Klaus thought with a hint of irritation.
Eroica as always didn’t seem to notice the Major’s scowl or his lack of response, and walked up to the railing with a relaxed smile. “Dear me, and I was wondering where you had disappeared to…but in the end, it seems we had the same idea of enjoying a nightcap while admiring the sunset.” He raised his glass ostentatiously, while leaning closer to check out the drink in the Major’s hand. “Ah, schnapps, I see. Favouring German drinks as always, my dear Major…no wonder you barely touched the champagne at the reception. Too bad, it was excellent. That little Alsatian winery Herr Kleimann suggested was indeed a hidden gem; I’ll be sure to order a case from them when I return to North Downs. I’m quite certain the lads back home will want to toast my mother’s happiness as well.”
Klaus cast him an annoyed glance, irked in equal parts by the thief’s familiarity – then again, that was nothing new – and by his vexingly good mood. “Don’t you start taking liberties with me again,” he said tersely, choosing to focus on the former source of his irritation – that, at least, would seem reasonable. “I don’t want anyone getting ideas, especially now.”
Dorian threw his head back and laughed like he had heard the most absurd thing. “Goodness me, Major, it seems like your paranoia has reached new heights every time I see you,” he said in a teasing tone. “Please do keep in mind that we are family now, and set your heart at ease. Rest assured, no one would think twice about two stepbrothers having a nice conversation over a drink.” A slow, satisfied smile bloomed over his features. “Absolutely no one.”
Somehow the expression on his face made Klaus’ stomach twist with a sudden suspicion. The way Eroica looked, so pleased with himself…he only looked like that when he had managed to bypass a most elaborate security system and steal something particularly valuable under everyone’s noses. He’d been after something, and he had achieved it; the Major could feel it in his bones, not to mention that whenever the thief was in such good cheer it inevitably spelled trouble for him. “What are you so chipper about?” he asked bluntly.
Lord Gloria raised his eyebrows. “Why wouldn’t I be chipper, Major? This is a joyous occasion, isn’t it? Your father and my mother found each other, after many years of solitude; they seem to get along famously, and I have every confidence that their common life henceforth will brighten their twilight years considerably. You and I may have had some…differences of opinion in the past, but I should think I am allowed to feel happy for them.”
Differences of opinion, right – that ought to be the understatement of the century. The Major narrowed his eyes and said in a lower, tight voice, “So, you insist that this marriage does not…inconvenience you in any way? It does not interfere with any…pursuits of yours?”
Dorian smiled serenely, meeting the Major’s suspicious scowl head on. “Not at all,” he said with annoyingly unwavering confidence. “I assure you, my dear Major…no pursuit of mine will be hindered by this marriage. Not in the slightest.”
“You can’t be serious,” Klaus ground out, dropping his voice even more. “You actually intend to carry on with this impudence even now?! I know your debauchery is only rivaled by your audacity, Eroica, but I thought even you would balk at incest at least.”
“Why thank you, Major, I am simply delighted to hear such compliments from you,” the thief flashed his trademark brilliant smile at him. “But as you know, incest wasn’t always as heinous as we are taught to believe. In the distant past, it was quite common for the kings of old to wed their own sisters, in order to preserve the purity of their bloodline. Incest only started getting frowned upon when it became apparent that it was the cause of congenital diseases passed down the family line. However, in a case such as ours where there are no offspring or even actual blood relations involved, I’m afraid that throwing that word around would not be nearly enough to deter me.”
“Well, what about your mother’s happiness? Would that be enough to deter you?” hissed Klaus in an accusing tone, at the same time throwing a glance over his shoulder to make sure no one else had decided to admire the sunset from the terrace. “You went on and on just now about how happy you are for her, but you would ruin her union without a second thought to satisfy your whims?!”
The Earl seemed almost affronted to hear that. “Nothing of the sort, Major; and I am shocked you would think this of me,” he said, switching seamlessly from playful cheekiness to offended dignity. “I know that discretion is a concept most people do not associate with me, but you may be certain that I am not in the habit of announcing my personal affairs from the rooftops. As you may have noticed yourself during these past few days, my mother and the rest of my family know nothing of me that I do not wish them to know. I have kept those parts of my life that would be distressing for them strictly under wraps, and I do intend to keep it that way going forward. My mother will never find out anything about my personal…interests from me, Major, be it by accident or intention. Unless, of course, you can think of someone else who would enlighten her.”
He paused a bit and went on to say with unusual seriousness, “…You know, Major, I gave it a lot of thought ever since Mother informed me of her engagement. I won’t deny that I was terrified at first, of course; it certainly seemed that a marriage between our parents would doom any relationship prospects for us.” Before Klaus had the chance to explode at the thief’s audacity to talk like the two of them actually had ‘relationship prospects’, Eroica’s eyes lit up and he added jubilantly, “…But then, I had a bit of an epiphany, my dear Major. I realized that what I’ve been chasing after all these years was being handed to me on a silver platter. Because, you see, all this time I’ve been striving to create a bond, no matter how flimsy, with you, and now I suddenly had one without even trying; and a most unshakeable one, too, for there is no bond stronger than family ties.”
This little speech was almost as infuriating for the Major as when he had seen Mischa slip through his fingers, and he didn’t even have a weapon of mass destruction to vent his frustration with as he did back then. So, to sum up, the marriage had changed nothing. Eroica fully intended to keep going after him, and to do it carefully enough that no one else in either family would get wind of it. The only way for them to find out would be if Klaus chose to expose him, but that would mean the onus of a possible dissolution of their parents’ marriage would be on him, and so would be dealing with the aftermath of a fallout. Wonderful. Far from putting a stop to the thief’s advances, he had only achieved to back himself into a corner where he would be unable to escape from them.
Dorian kept watching him with that same vexing half-smile for several moments, then he abruptly straightened himself and looked away towards the scenery ahead of them. “It seems I gave you some food for thought,” he said calmly, taking a sip of his cocktail. “Do not fret, my dear Major, I have no intention to keep imposing my presence on you for the time being. You will have ample time to plan your defensive strategy, until we revisit the subject when you come to London for Christmas.”
Klaus turned his head sharply to look at him. “Huh?! What the hell makes you think I would go to London for Christmas?!” he demanded.
The Earl gave him a look that seemed almost like genuine surprise – almost. “Oh dear, did your father not mention it to you?” he asked innocently. “Margaret and Elizabeth take turns hosting the family Christmas gathering every year. Regretfully, I haven’t been able to attend every single time, but I do try to join them for dinner at least, as long as I don’t have any guests of my own,” he added with a little smile, evidently recalling that unforgettable Christmas he had spent with the Major at Castle Gloria. “Fortunately, the boys don’t mind having our own little celebration on Christmas Eve or Boxing Day instead. Anyway, this time it will be Margaret and Charles hosting, and of course it goes without saying that the newest additions to our family are invited.”
“I don’t think I will be able to – ”
“Oh, your father already accepted the invitation on your behalf, so I believe your attendance is a non-issue,” Lord Gloria cut him off, completely nonplussed. “I daresay it will be a nice change of pace for you, my dear Major. London is simply marvelous during Christmastime, and I’m positive you will find the spread at Margaret’s to be quite delectable. Their head cook used to be a sous-chef at the Ritz, you know; dear Charles paid an arm and a leg to poach him off, but it was very much worth it. There wasn’t a single guest of theirs who wasn’t raving about their Christmas meal, yours truly included.”
Klaus just stood there frozen like a deer in headlights, for once completely unable to react. He felt like he was trapped in a horrible nightmare – a nightmare decked with Christmas lights and crowded dining-rooms and meals prepared by five-star hotel chefs, and he had no way of waking up from it.
“Oh, but there was a bit of an issue with the accommodations,” Eroica went on, seemingly oblivious of the haunted look in the Major’s eyes. “Margaret and Elizabeth’s houses in town are very spacious indeed, but there are quite a few guests coming for Christmas this year; aside from our parents, there will be Henrietta and Arthur coming down from Hampshire, Elizabeth’s in-laws, my aunt from Torquay, and I believe some cousins of Charles’ are flying in from New York. There simply wasn’t enough room to accommodate everyone, so I offered to put you up at my London apartment. No need to thank me, of course; I couldn’t possibly let a relative stay at a hotel during Christmas, that would be a disgrace for the whole family. I trust you will find my humble abode to your liking; if nothing else, it is more bachelor-oriented, and I daresay you will appreciate having some peace and quiet after the festivities. I do believe, my dear Major, that this will be a holiday to remember.”
Verdammt – the trap was well and truly sprung. The Major had escaped captivity more times than he could count, but this time he had a horrible premonition that family ties would not be easy to break away from.