Chapter Text
Submerged in hot water, Powder sat slumped forward in the bathtub that had, earlier today, been Vander’s. And, years before that, Silco’s too.
Now Vander lay dead…technically at Silco’s hands, yes, but…it was still Powder’s fault. If the explosion from her bomb hadn’t been so big…
Well. Everything today was her fault.
She’d ruined everyone’s plans. And lives. Even taking some in the process.
But her sister (ex sister!) leaving her… That was Vi’s own fault.
Right? Wasn’t a sister’s love supposed to be unconditional? Even if her little sister was a fuckup? A jinx?
Powder’s eyes were red rimmed and swollen from crying. The fury that had burned her from the inside out when Silco had assured her “we will show them all” had petered out, mostly. It had dissipated somewhere between Silco saying it and setting down her trembling form on her feet on the bathroom floor, wet from rain and dirty from the explosion, debris, smoke…
She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been carried like that. It felt strangely safe, even though she shouldn’t feel safe around Silco, according to Vander and Vi.
But how much of what she’d been told about Silco was lies? Because the way he’d talked to her, wrapped his arms around her, spoke comfort into her hair in a gravelly voice…hadn’t felt like what a “bad guy” would do.
Oh, Powder had seen the knife in his hand when he’d approached, when he’d said “hello little girl, where’s your sister?” It had taken a moment to register, devastated as she’d been, but she had seen it, light from the nearby fires glinting off the metal.
She hadn’t cared. She didn't get the sense that he would harm her, but if she was wrong? If he was going to kill her? So be it. Powder had already lost everything anyway: her sister, lover, best friend, caretaker, safe place...
Her everything.
But Silco had responded more positively than Powder could have expected, when she’d thrown herself into his arms so hard he’d been bowled over onto his bony ass on the wet ground.
Maybe he was just misunderstood. Like her.
Although… How misunderstood was she, really? She was a jinx after all. She’d fucked everything up. Like she always did.
But maybe she wouldn’t have fucked up this time if Vi had just let her help from the start! Powder could see even now that cramming three of those cursed glowing blue crystals into her monkey bomb had been overkill (ha, overkill).
Powder’s meltdown, when she’d made the bomb in a frenzy, had been because of Vi’s insistence that she stay behind. Like some baby to be protected instead of the girl who’d been making nail bombs because she wanted to fight.
And now…both Powder and Silco were left in the wreckage the explosion wrought, each having lost their former loves. Her in the bath, him off elsewhere doing… something.
When suggesting Silco join her in the bath, Powder hadn’t meant it as anything sexual. She'd felt bad that he’d gotten soaked. And she hadn’t wanted to be apart from him.
She’d invited him to share the tub with the innocence of a child who’d never seen people getting fucked in an alley. Who hadn’t spied from hidden spots in the ventilation ducts of the local brothel, time and time again. Watching, listening, learning.
She’d invited him with the innocence of a girl who hadn’t been fucking (and being fucked by) her big sister since not long after puberty hit her like a flash flood. Back then, her pussy had throbbed with need when she’d lain awake in bed at night, and she couldn’t sleep without making herself come at least a few times while longing for Vi to touch her like that. Then came the night Vi had joined her in her bunk, having heard Powder quietly moaning her name in the throes of orgasm. And then, everything had changed between them.
…Yeah, Powder was no innocent. Not sexually, anyway.
But Silco didn’t know that.
Powder had immediately recognized how her words could’ve been misunderstood and had flushed with embarrassment (on top of her skin growing pink from the heat of the water once she'd slipped into it). But he’d thankfully not seen her blush, having quickly turned away to protect her (non-existent) modesty when she’d started ditching her wet clothes without regard to him still being in the room.
That had been innocent too. Her clothes had been too uncomfortable, the heat rising from the bath too tempting, so she’d not had the patience to wait until he was finished talking to her before stripping down.
When he’d declined the invitation, after she was already in the tub, his tone hadn’t belied whether he’d thought her suggestion untoward. And she hadn’t seen his expression, given he’d been pointedly facing the door.
Silco had said he had things to attend to. That he would have one of his people, Ran, stand outside the door while Powder bathed. He told Powder to let them know if she needed anything, said that he’d be back as soon as he could, with food for her.
Once he’d left the bathroom, Powder had strained to hear Silco talking to Ran in soft tones on the other side of the door. She’d made out something that she pieced together as Silco instructing them to listen to make sure Powder wasn’t doing anything rash like trying to drown herself.
Powder hadn’t even considered that. It sounded too difficult to do successfully. Plus, she didn’t want to kill herself, not exactly. She just…might not resist if someone tried to kill her. She didn’t exactly see the point of living right now.
She thought of Silco’s last words to her before closing the door behind himself. He’d spoken gently, but not condescendingly. It was kind of nice. Which was…weird. Offering to feed her without her saying she was hungry felt weird too. Too caring for someone who’d just taken in the girl who’d blown up who knows how many hexes worth of his plans.
Powder didn’t have an appetite, although it had been too many hours since her last meal. What was the point? What was the point of anything anymore?
Well. Powder was still alive, for now. And the heat of the bath felt good seeping into her, bone deep. So maybe for now she could try to feel a tiny bit better. That would be nice, wouldn’t it? Probably not possible, but she might as well try. And what could make her feel better?
Getting Vi (traitor! abandoner!) out of her head.
Yeah, easier said than done.
She was furious and devastated by her sister forsaking her. And yet... Right now she felt more empty than anything. Hollowed out. Sad. Lonely. Missing her big sister.
Before tonight, Powder hadn’t regretted a thing about her and Vi’s secret romance.
Not until now. Now, it just hurt, enough to make part of Powder regret it. Because now she knew what it felt like to lose that relationship, and everything that had come with it. All of the happiness of being in love. All of the pleasure from making love. All of the things that had been good and sweet and loving and, well, fucking hot, were gone.
Heartbroken, let down, despondent, dejected, Powder wanted to take a moment to say goodbye. Not to the girl who had abandoned her in the fire and ruin. But to the girl who she’d loved with all her heart.
A better goodbye than their actual horrifying parting.
Powder could hate Vi after this. After loving her big sister one last time.