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"Nemo?" Cyrus called, his voice sounding slightly strained. Nemo put down the rope he had been using to practice knot typing — on the advice of Cyrus, when he realised that most of the sailing terminology he had been using had been going over Nemo's head entirely — and popped his head around the corner.
"Yeah, Cyrus?" As he spoke, his eyes fell on the man. He was leaning heavily against one of the wooden beams, and his breathing was heavy and ragged. Discomfort swirled in the pit of his stomach as Nemo leapt up, making his way over to Cyrus. He almost tripped over himself, trying to get to him, the knot in his stomach only tightening when he realised that Cyrus wasn't responding to him.
He eventually reached Cyrus, looking him over to check for any obvious signs of injury. "Are you alright?" Nemo asked, a little out of breath. He put a hand on Cyrus' shoulder comfortingly, though he only realised he had done it after the fact. He could've sworn that Cyrus leaned into the touch, Nemo willing himself not to blush.
"My, uh, my leg is acting up." Cyrus sighed, seeming more irritated than embarrassed. "Can you give me a hand getting to the bench?"
Nemo hadn't been on the crew long, barely more than seven months, but he had heard the stories regaled at the dinner table as to how Cyrus supposedly fought off hoards of pirates, saving the Bonaventure but badly injuring his leg in the process. He always looked a little uncomfortable when the crew told such tales, as did Mary Katharine. Nemo had never been sure whether the stories were true, but he felt it wasn't his place to ask.
"O-of course. I could, uh, go and get Mary Katharine though, if you'd rather." Nemo replied hesitantly. Not that he didn't want to help, but if he was already getting distracted by a simple touch, Nemo wasn't sure if he could trust himself to actually look after the man.
Cyrus shook his head. "No, don't worry. She's kinda busy right now. Anyways, I trust you." He smiled up at Nemo, and Nemo had to push down the grin threatening to split his face.
Gods he had to get over this.
It was a silly crush, nothing more. And a married man, no less. Though it wasn't as if Nemo hadn't had similar thoughts about Mary Katharine either.
Clearing the thoughts from his mind, Nemo put an arm around Cyrus, helping him to the bench nearby and sitting him down. "Better?" He asked, crouching in front of him and putting his hands on Cyrus' arms to steady him.
Cyrus let out a breath of slight relief. "Much better, thank you."
"No problem. Just sit here for a minute" Nemo instructed, squeezing Cyrus' arms comfortingly.
Nemo tried to make light conversation for the next few minutes, in an attempt to distract Cyrus from the pain. It worked for a little while, Cyrus laughing quietly at Nemo's jokes. But Nemo could see the pain on his face, the way he winced at every movement.
"Cyrus, I think you might need to—"
"Yeah, I'd better go and lie down." He replied bitterly. "Damn it, I thought it would be alright in a few minutes." He took a few breaths, before pasting on a smile. "Well, there's nothing to be done. I, uh, don't suppose you could give me a hand again?"
Nemo took Cyrus by the arms, and helped him get back up. He could tell Cyrus was holding back sounds of pain from the way his face contorted, small whimpers slipping out. Nemo longed to hold him properly, to kiss him until the pain went away.
Stop it. He's in pain, and here you are, fantasising over a man in a committed relationship. Gods, get a hold of yourself.
Very slowly, they made their way down to Cyrus and Mary Katharine's room. "Nearly there, now, Cyrus. You're alright." Nemo murmured as they went down the steps. "I've got you."
That is the exact opposite of "getting a hold of yourself"
Nemo helped Cyrus onto the bed, letting the other man lean on him as he lowered himself onto the mattress. He held on to Nemo for a few moments more, getting his breath back. "Take a minute, Cyrus. We've got all the time in the world, alright?" Cyrus nodded, before eventually letting Nemo get him laid down. Nemo could see the moment the pressure was lessened on his leg, the way his entire body relaxed, even a little, as he lay properly on the bed.
"Thank you, Nemo." Cyrus said gratefully. Nemo shook his head, but Cyrus continued. "Really, you didn't need to do that."
"Why wouldn't I?" Nemo said simply.
Careful…
"You're my… my friend, I care about you. Of course I'm going to help you." Nemo finished, hoping the warmth of the room was the only reason his cheeks were darkening. Cyrus gave him an odd look, a small smile creeping onto his face, but he didn't mention it.
"In any case, thank you."
Nemo nodded, and made to leave when Cyrus spoke again.
"Nemo?" He asked quietly. "Could, uh… could you stay for a while."
This is a request from a friend in pain. Nothing more. Do not freak out about it.
"O-of course!" Nemo stammered out. His breathing picked up a little, and he willed Cyrus not to notice. He pulled up a chair, setting it down next to Cyrus' side of the bed and settled into the seat.
"Thanks, Nemo. It's nice to, uh, have someone here. You know, to distract me. Usually I can get to sleep eventually, but if I'm just by myself then I rather keep myself awake with incessant thoughts." He chuckled softly.
"I know the feeling." Nemo murmured. Cyrus looked up at him for a second, concern filling his eyes. They're really blue. A very pretty shade. Such a nice—
Focus.
Nemo shook his head, swiftly steering the conversation elsewhere. Cyrus really didn't need to hear about his insomnia, his nightmares. Nor would he want to, Nemo thought. His father had never cared much for his complaints about sleep after his mother died. He would always be berated for bringing up something of 'such little concern when I have so many other things to be thinking about'. Eventually, he stopped responding to Nemo at all. So Nemo stopped asking, instead spending his nights wandering through the backstreets of Starhold, often not sleeping until the early hours of the morning, where he would sneak back into his chambers as if he had been there all night.
"I can just talk for a while, if you'd like. To distract you." Nemo offered.
Cyrus nodded. "That would be nice." He smiled gently.
"Anything in particular you want to hear about?"
Cyrus thought for a moment. Then: "What was that thing you were telling Mary Katharine about last night, at the dinner table? The, uh, scanner you were designing. That sounded interesting."
Nemo frowned. Mary Katharine was only listening to me because there was nobody available for better conversation. Why does he want to hear about a boring invention? "I, uh… Are you sure? It's rather dull topic."
"On the contrary, Mary was rather enthusiastic about it. Said she was hoping to stop at a market where we could source the materials to make it, if you were amenable?"
Oh. That's… unexpected.
"Oh, well, uh, if you're sure." Nemo replied, making sure Cyrus was comfortable before launching into his explanation. It wasn't long before Cyrus' eyes began to droop closed, and soon he was fast asleep.
He should've left. He really should have. Cyrus was asleep now, he didn't need someone watching over him whilst he slept. He'd probably berate him for it when he woke up.
But he looks so peaceful. The way his chest rises and falls with each breath, the soft expression on his face, the way his hair catches the light that filters through the curtains, the—
Oh.
Oh I am screwed.
"Oh, Cyrus, you are terrible!" Mary Katharine remarked upon entering the room. She had heard from another crew member that Cyrus' leg had been bothering him, and the Nemo had taken him to rest, without returning afterwards.
She knew full well what Cyrus was doing.
Not that she thought Cyrus was feigning injury — she was well aware of how it bothered him — but any other time, he would've asked for her to come and help. He wanted Nemo.
"I thought you'd just be glad I'm doing something other than pining. Unlike some people I could mention."
Mary Katharine gasped in mock indignation. "I'll have you know I've been flirting with him for weeks now!"
"And that would be fine, except he doesn't realise that you mean it."
Mary Katharine turned to a now asleep Nemo, curled up in a chair by the bed. "I know." She responded, sadness creeping into her voice. "Gods, I just… he reminds me of myself sometimes."
Cyrus cocked his head, a predictable mannerism of his. "How so, love?"
"He, well… He doesn't think we could love him. He doesn't believe that we care about him, that we want to spend time with him." She smiled sadly. "That's how I felt when I met you. I'd spent so long around people who wanted me to be smaller, to minimise myself so much that I almost forgot how to be myself. And the you came along, and just… You wanted to be with me, however that ended up looking. There weren't any expectations of anything, nothing that I had to do for you to care about me."
She felt tears slip down her cheeks, brushing them away as she tried to gather up her composure. "He's out cold, huh?" Mary said, pivoting away from the topic. She knew Cyrus would notice the abrupt change, but fortunately he didn't mention it .
"Well, since it's so late, he may as well stay the night." Cyrus suggested, biting back a grin. Mary Katharine giggled, rolling her eyes.
"Never let it be said I don't indulge you." She smiled, moving to pick the other man up. Nemo was still worryingly light — he had a tendency to just forget to eat when he was busy, which appeared to be all of the time — but that did mean that it was easy for Mary Katharine to pick him up and deposit him onto the bed next to Cyrus.
Nemo stirred a little, but didn't wake up instead settling into Cyrus' side. Mary Katharine too got into the bed, pulling the blanket over herself and Nemo.
"We're going to have to talk to him, you know." Mary murmured, no taking her gaze off of Nemo for a second. "Properly. About us, and about what he wants. It's not going to work otherwise."
"I know." Cyrus replied quietly. "Not now, though. I'm not sure I've ever seen him this at ease."
"No. Not now." Mary agreed. "Let him sleep a little while longer."
Gods, I can barely stop looking at him. I'm in love with him. Not just that, I'm screwed. Completely and utterly screwed.
Being roused from sleep by distressed noises was, unfortunately, not an uncommon occurrence for Cyrus. His night terrors were few and far between these days, but Mary Katharine suffered from horrible nightmares, though they were usually only a few times a month now. What struck Cyrus as odd, though, was that he could hear Mary. And she wasn't the one panicking.
"Just breathe, love. That's it, nice and slowly." She murmured to the shaking body in between them. "That's right, Nemo, I'm right here, okay?"
Oh gods. Nemo was the one who'd had an nightmare.
In retrospect, it wasn't all that surprising. Cyrus didn't know the entirety of Nemo's backstory, but he knew enough to know it wasn't all that pleasant. After all, why else would he have run from Starhold like he did. He wore a slightly haunted look as he went through his day, and it was all Cyrus could do to not just wrap Nemo up in his arms and tell him everything would be okay.
What plagues his nightmares? What haunts him in the dark? Whose ghosts terrorise him, even though he's safe now?
Cyrus sat himself up, finding with no small amount of relief that the pain in his leg had settled back to its usual, more tolerable levels. He looked over to Mary, who had practically taken Nemo onto her lap. He was sobbing heavily, shuddering in her arms. Cyrus felt a different kind of pain flood through him. One that tore at his heart, twisted his stomach until he almost felt sick.
I knew he struggled. But gods, I didn't know it was this bad. How long has this been going on for? Has he been dealing with this all by himself?
Tentatively, Cyrus reached out to place a hand on Nemo's shoulder. The other man startled a little, turning around. Just me, love." Cyrus smiled gently. Nemo relaxed, Cyrus moving closer to allow Nemo to lean back against him. He was essentially cradled between Cyrus and Mary now, and Cyrus wasn't sure he'd want Nemo to be anywhere else right now.
Cyrus could feel Nemo's breathing steadying, the knots tying up his insides slowly loosening. Nemo was mumbling something, but he couldn't make it out from the way Mary Katharine's top muffled the sound.
"What was that, love?" Cyrus asked, only then realising that was the second time he'd called Nemo that in the span of an evening. Nemo didn't seem to mind, though, and Cyrus artfully dodged the Look that Mary Katharine was surely giving him at that moment.
Nemo disentangled himself slightly from Mary Katharine's hold, turning to look at Cyrus again. "I, uh…" He paused, paling as he seemed to realise just how close he was to the pair of them. "I'm really sorry." He mumbled, eyes downcast.
From the corner of his vision, Cyrus could see his wife tensing at Nemo's apology. A look of pain flashed across her face for barely a second before she covered it up, but Cyrus saw it perfectly well. He was feeling much the same way.
"Nemo, honey, you don't need to apologise for anything, okay?" Mary Katharine soothed. "Hey, can you look at me?" She asked softly, putting a hand under his chin to tilt his head towards her. Gods, if it were any other circumstance, they're so close they could kiss. Nemo acquiesced, looking up at her. "You had a nightmare. That's not something you can control. And, since me and Cyrus were the ones who decided it would be best you stay the night here — that's why you're in the bed, incidentally, I carried you here from the chair you fell asleep in — we're more than happy to help you. But you know what? We would've helped you no matter the circumstance. Because, even though I know you don't believe it, we care about you, Nemo. We really do."
"Oh." Nemo said simply. "I, um. Thank you." For a split second, it looked as though Mary was going to kiss Nemo on the forehead. But apparently she thought better of it, instead brushing a thumb across his cheek.
"Of course. Now, do you think you could sleep right now?" Mary asked, the only thing betraying the emotion that Cyrus knew was bubbling beneath the surface — for himself too, it had to be said — was the slight wobble in her voice. Nemo nodded hesitantly.
"I'll, uh, head back to my room then." He replied, though he didn't sound too happy about it. Cyrus reached out to take Nemo's hand as the latter made to leave.
"You could stay." Cyrus said plainly.
Mary Katharine nodded at Nemo's questioning look. "It might be easier, since you're already settled here. And if you wake up again, we'll be here." Cyrus could hear the unspoken words. We're here. We want to look after you. Let us in, please.
"Are you sure?"
"Very." Cyrus responded firmly. His heart soared as a small smile crept onto Nemo's face.
"Well, if you really don't mind." He fully removed himself from their embrace, only to settle back into it mere moments later, once they were all laying down. "I… This is…" He stumbled over his words, stopping to take a deep breath before trying again. "I haven't felt this comfortable in a very long time." He confessed. "And, uh… If you hadn't found me that night, asked if I wanted to join the crew… I'm not sure what would've come of me. I'm not even sure I'd still be here."
He could've… Gods, if we weren't there at the tavern that night. Cyrus could barely fathom a world without Nemo in anymore. More than that, he didn't want to imagine it. "Then I'm very thankful we met that night." Cyrus looked over to Mary, who nodded in agreement. "Because our lives have only been better for knowing you, Nemo, that's for certain."
For a few seconds, the only noises in the cabin were soft breaths. Mary was the one to finally break the silence, asking if Nemo was comfortable before they went to sleep. Fortunately, the day had tired them out enough that sleep was quick to come.
Gods, I'm even more in love with him than I thought. I'm so screwed.