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Uzi sat alone in her room, something that had actually become uncommon now that they’d made it past the world ending.
A thick snow storm battered against her wall, only a foot of steel between her and the world she’d just saved. Only a few feet more in the opposite direction were the drones she’d saved it with. Or well, she knew N was out there. V was still having a hard time settling into living inside the bunker, especially now that she had to live in close quarters with both him and Uzi.
She was probably off in Lizzy’s dorm, or out in the storm even though she shouldn’t be. Uzi didn’t have the space in her brain to think about that right now, her entire RAM being taken up by one idea, so much so that even when she closed her eyes it hurt. Everything hurt. The weight of what she’d done, what she learned, what she had to do and the effects that it had on everyone else.
If she closed her eyes long enough she could remember how she’d turned into this- thing all the way back at camp. Remembered what it felt like, both great and horrible. The way her teeth tore someone apart, how the oil tasted so sweetly in her mouth, the way N reacted to seeing her like that. That was the biggest part she couldn’t get over.
He was there, every time this thing changed her. He helped her through it. Made sure that she wasn’t going through it alone.
But that was before she and him started dating. Before they had moved in together. Before they saved the world together. Before she knew she could lose him, and that it would hurt so bad if she did.
She turned onto her side and curled up in her messy bed that she hadn’t cleaned in days. It had taken days to even acknowledge what she’d been hiding from him, and even if it wasn’t intentional before it was certainly intentional now. She couldn’t even think of how to tell him, if she’d tell him.
She knew her internal components had changed a while ago, she toyed around with enough body modifications to know when something was different. She found the fleshy mass in her chassis long before it had turned into her wings. Noticed the silicone of her mouth becoming infected and turning almost into leather. Saw in the mirror how her eyes shifted and cracked mirrors.
But she’d done everything in her power not to acknowledge how she could slowly feel her port pulsing with the same heartbeat connected to the rest of the add ons. She knew something had changed, but didn’t want to see it. Didn’t have the time to even, not when she was busy learning to fly and how to cope with the fact her mother was alive.
So many things had happened, so much of it out of her control and yet in her way. She didn’t have time to be personal, to look any farther in the mirror than her face, to worry about something as human as genitals.
But now she did.
She had basically all the time in the world now to do whatever she wanted. To find new hobbies, to build her relationship, to make new friends who actually respected her. She had the time to sit down in front of that full length mirror she had in her room, the one she’d stood endlessly in front of admiring her wardrobe and peak sense of fashion, now to look at herself bare and acknowledge that she’d changed.
Yet she couldn’t bring herself to.
She stayed rotting in her bedspread, turned away from the mirror she’d covered with an old blanket to further conceal it. She couldn’t even stand the thought of looking at her face, let alone her body. It was- humiliating, she guessed. She wasn’t really the best at knowing her feelings, always just expressing them without a second thought because that’s who she was.
Someone who didn’t care about what others thought, even if she sometimes did. She didn’t let what other drones said about her bring her down, although it used to. It used to weigh on her the same way her own judgement weighed on her now. Heavy on her shoulders and making the world seemingly impossible to face.
She faced death itself, merged with it, had her hardwire and life basically rewritten. And she couldn’t stand up to face herself in the mirror. She started tearing up over how pathetic it was. That she couldn’t do this one thing. Couldn’t acknowledge this one piece of her that didn’t really matter all that much compared to what she’d done. Because it felt like the moment she did, she’d have to give up all that she’d worked towards.
What if it was ugly? What if that part of her no longer worked? She couldn’t begin to imagine what N might think. She knew that he would say he didn’t care, but would he really mean it? Sure, sex wasn’t the end all be all of their relationship, but she couldn’t deny that she wanted it.
She wanted him to look at her like that. To think she was gorgeous. That she was worth admiring like that. She already felt that way about him, and in some ways that also hurt. He was so sweet and kind, showing he loved her everyday with cuddling and short touches and kisses. Little comments and compliments that made her day. He was N, the same N he’d always been, but he was hers and she wanted him to stay that way.
But she didn’t know if he felt the same way yet. If he was ready for that. If he even considered looking at her like that, the way she’d thought about him late at night when she was too scared to touch herself, because it would reveal what she’d been trying to ignore this whole time.
Because what if he did want that just as much as her, and was just waiting for her to say she was ready? What would happen when she showed him that piece of herself? Would he be disgusted? Disappointed?
What if it turned him away from her?
She hugged herself tight after that thought crossed her mind, trying her hardest to push it away like she’d done every other time it’d shown its ugly face inside her head. She didn’t want to think about that. How this one piece of her might mean she’d never be loved again despite how hard she worked for it.
She’d never loved anyone like this, so deeply that pulling away even a little tore her heart. But like the rest of the world she couldn’t bear to see him right now. She’d shut herself in her room because of it, claiming she’d come down with a virus and didn’t want to risk getting him or V sick despite being unsure if she could infect them like that.
She knew he missed her as much as she missed him though. She could hear when he sat outside her door, just talking about random things that had happened in the day that she missed out on. Sometimes she didn’t have the energy to respond, but in the times she did, he always seemed so happy and excited to hear her voice. They’d talk for hours like that, backs pressed against the door telling each other things and just listening to the other talk.
It tore her apart even more afterwards, unable to stop herself from utterly wailing about it while muffling her cries into a pillow which surely would’ve been soaked if she cried real tears. She was crying just as hard thinking about it now, pulling her blanket over her head to drown it out. It was dark underneath, but it brought her a little comfort.
She couldn’t be seen or heard like this. It was like she had disappeared, and with her her problems went. She didn’t have to think about her reflection when she hid like this. Only about how long she could go on like this until she had to go back to acting like everything was fine when it wasn’t. She didn’t want to explain this to anyone, didn’t want to have anyone knowing and potentially thinking of her as disgusting because of it.
She certainly couldn’t talk to her mom about this, Robo-God no. Nori had probably gone through something similar to this when she still had her body intact, maybe, but she didn’t dare consider asking her. She would actually rather cut this piece of her out entirely than ever thinking of asking her mother for help on this.
It would just grow back though, like every other piece that had been added to her that she’d now grown used to. She couldn’t get rid of it. Couldn’t ignore it forever. No matter how hard she wanted to. It made her toss and turn in her mess of sheets, pillows, and blankets. So much so that she actually tumbled off of her bed and landed on the floor with a soft thud.
Great. Now she didn’t want to get up off the floor either. She just wanted to lay here and maybe roll under the bed and get sucked into the abyss of darkness it kept. She rolled over onto her side to stare at the cluttered dark space, seriously considering her previous thought before a glint of light caught her eye.
It was a mirror, a more oval one that her father had given her as an heirloom of her mother’s. It had this deep silvery black gothic trim, but she’d put it away once she scavenged the larger one that she was hiding from. She stared at her reflection disappointedly, like if she looked hard enough it would vanish. It didn’t.
Instead she just saw how tired she looked, line after line of heavy bags under her eyes. She looked like her father after he stayed up all night fixing a door. Only, instead of being proud of herself, she wallowed further in self pity. Her hair was messy, and she’d long tossed her beanie to her desk which had also remained untouched the whole time.
She sighed hard, laying her head against the floor and continuing to stare. She was a mess. A stupid mess of a drone who had been brought so low by her god damn reproductive “organs”. It was stupid, she was stupid. For letting this get to her so much. Letting it control her life for nearly the past week. Letting it convince her that she was nothing other than this.
She huffed and sat up now, a burning sense of anger in her chest. She couldn’t believe this was what she’d gotten so hung up over. Not her sprouting literal wings, or potentially becoming a god, or even that she’d literally consumed the force of evil to do so. None of that got to her as much as this, because she knew she was still Uzi after all of that. That after all of what she’d done, she was still her.
The same punk ass edgy drone who freaked out her classmates and dug around the trash to build a whole ass railgun. She’d be the same drone who saved the world whether or not her stupid genitals looked weird.
And if they did, no one but her would have to know about it. N would respect her if she was honest with him. Even if she wasn’t fully honest she knew he’d never force her to do anything. He trusted her, and she trusted him.
A shaky breath left her as she slowly inched towards the covered mirror on the other side of her room. She was going to do this. She had to. Wanted to. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t still terrified, worried about what her own reaction to this would be. If she would forever hate herself for doing this.
She pulled off the blanket on the mirror before she had the chance to rethink it, staring at her reflection with hollow eyes.
It joined the other she’d dragged over with her, gently surrounding her legs almost like a dress. The oversized and unwashed shirt she’d been wearing hung from one of her shoulders, too large to neatly fit onto the other one and causing her collar and some of her chest to be shown. The only other clothing she had on was her black shorts, the one thing between her and what she intended to see.
Looking at herself felt so much realer though, like she was judging her own mess. And she guessed she was, but it felt meaner coming from her reflection. She couldn’t let that stop her though, because if she did she’d never come back to it. She’d never have the courage to do this again if she backed away now. She just couldn’t stand looking at herself while she did it though.
She shut her eyes instead, hoping it’d give her enough confidence to keep going. She knew how to undress herself like that, it being as easy as when she had her eyes open. She cracked an eye open to make sure nothing had changed outwardly before quickly shutting it again. It was the same kind of smooth plasticy-metal exterior that all worker drones had. Her hatch didn’t look any different either, which made her feel at least a little more comfortable.
She used her previous experiences to guide her hand slowly, carefully pressing her palm against the seam of it. That still felt the same at least, good but not enough. It felt warmer too though now that she was paying attention, and she could feel the familiar pulsing behind it. It’d driven her crazy before, giving her an ache in her core that she’d never felt until then. Yet no matter how much she grinded and palmed it wasn’t enough to make it go away. She was finally doing something about it now.
Slowly she relaxed into the touch until she finally got her hatch to click open, almost immediately pulling her hand away once she heard the soft sound. It was so warm, even just from having her hand there for a second. It warmed her whole body, fans beginning to noticeably whirr in reaction. She still couldn’t bring herself to look though, not yet at least.
Cautiously she brought her hand back down, running over her thigh and upper pelvis before bringing it closer. She was immediately greeted by a wet sensation, not unfamiliar but definitely much more present than it used to be. It was almost slimy even, and it made her shudder as it gathered on her fingers. That was fine though, she could handle being a bit messier than before.
As soon as she pressed her palm against herself however, that’s when she really noticed the difference. It was fleshy, more fleshy than what she’d thought it’d be. Immediately she pulled her hand back, eyes snapping open in surprise as she stared down at her reflection in the mirror.
She cursed under her breath, gasping “What the fuck?!” as she backed up like her double might crawl out of the mirror to attack her. She stared even harder at the mass of flesh between her legs, spread almost like a picture of a blooming flower she’d once seen in a painting. Her port was originally lined with silicone, just like every female disassembly drone, but now it looked like a twisted mess of the same purple skin she’d been growing on her wings but sticking out of her. Not any more than an inch and a half at the “petals” longest, but still far more than she was used to.
She cursed again more audibly this time, once again chanting “What the fuck?!” As she stared like if she blinked for too long it’d vanish like a hallucination.
She didn’t get the chance to process it any further without interruption though, hearing footsteps rush towards her door and N’s voice suddenly calling out in reaction to her distress.
“Uzi? Are you alright?”
Shit. She hadn’t prepared for this. She didn’t even know what she should say, whether she should lie or maybe just keep her mouth shut and hope he would leave. She opened her mouth to try and say anything, but kept stuttering while trying to think of anything to say.
“Yeah! I’m- I’m totally fine! Y-You can go back to what you were doing. Don’t worry about me.”
N noticeably paused at that, even without saying anything. She hoped it would be enough, but she hadn’t accounted for something.
N stuck his head in from the door, leaning into the room as he muttered a soft “Are you sure?” Only to freeze just as he began to ask.
Right- She’d left her door unlocked so he could bring her food and oil. She didn’t remember to lock it the last time he’d done so, and now it had come to bite her in the ass.
They stood frozen just looking at each other, N already being halfway into the room and Uzi looking at herself naked below the waist in front of a mirror.
Uzi snapped out of her shock first, rushing to grab one of the blankets around her to cover herself as N turned away as quickly as he could to give her some privacy.
“Sorry! I- I should’ve knocked, I’m so-“
“Get out!”
“Huh?”
“I SAID GET OUT!”
Her voice broke as she shouted the words at him, doing her best not to start bawling on the spot. He backed off as soon as he understood though, immediately leaving and closing the door without a second thought. Somehow that reaction only made her feel worse though.
She couldn’t hold herself together once he was out of the room, starting to wail like the night she learned her mother died. This utterly heartbroken cry and she couldn’t bear to hear the echo of and yet couldn’t stop herself from making. Like the walls of her room had suddenly become an inch from her at every side and all she could hear was the sound of her own agony as she crumpled in front of the mirror and curled up on the floor.
N must’ve heard that too, or maybe hadn’t even stepped away from the door, because he knocked in such an anxious way that it was almost like he was knocking on glass.
“Hey, I really am sorry about walking in. I didn’t mean to invade your space like that, please don’t be mad.”
He sounded so utterly terrified even from behind the door, as if he’d just made the biggest mistake in the world and knew it.
Uzi couldn’t stand to let him think she was mad at him, even as she kept crying uncontrollably.
“It’s- It’s not you, N. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just-“ She couldn’t finish the sentence, too choked up in her sobbing to even try continuing that thought.
He saw her, at pretty much the same time as she first saw herself like that, and now she didn’t know what to do. She had no clue what his reaction was to seeing that. Did he leave so quickly because he was disgusted just like she feared? Or just because he was as shocked as her? Did he even see how she was exposed? He had to have. He wouldn’t be so anxious as she knew he was if he hadn’t.
“Hey, what’s wrong? You can talk to me, Uzi, I promise.” He paused for a moment, seemingly contemplating what else he could say before continuing, “I know you’ve been feeling under the weather lately, does that have something to do with it?”
“I haven’t been sick N. I just- I can’t deal with this right now.” She was sick of lying to him more like it, sick of being unable to explain what was happening to her. What had happened to her.
“Can’t deal with what?”
“What you saw in the mirror! I know you saw it… I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, this was the first time I looked myself and I-“
“You’ve never looked at yourself in the mirror?”
Uzi went silent after that, trying to process what N just said. Did he actually see her? Maybe he just..
“Wait that sounds wrong- I meant you’ve never, uh, done personal stuff like that?”
He was so obviously blushing through his words that Uzi couldn’t help but find a little humor in it. And comfort too. He didn’t seem disgusted, or even upset. More like he was curious that she’d never done this before.
“Well I mean, I have in the past, but this was my first experience seeing thatafter being infected with the Solver.”
She blushed just as hard as he probably was while trying to explain what exactly she’d been doing, hoping to give him at least a bit more understanding.
Her attempt seemed to result in the exact opposite though. A long stretch of silence fell between them, almost like N had walked away from the door. She knew he was still there though, he’d never in a million years walk away from her without at least saying something. Especially in a situation like this.
After what started to feel like ages though, he finally spoke up again. Yet, his voice was thick with even more confusion.
“So… worker drones don’t normally look like that. Is that what you’re saying?”
“They aren’t supposed to, no… Do uh, disassemblers look like that?”
Another beat of silence happened before N avoided answering the question, instead asking something in that same soft voice he’d given her earlier.
“Could I.. come into the room to talk about this?”
Uzi hesitated, still anxious over his reaction to her. She knew she had to move forward on this though, telling herself the same thing she’d said earlier. If she didn’t do it now, she might never have the courage to. So, she slowly used her solver to open the door for him.
He poked his head in cautiously, making sure she was actually okay with it before fully entering the room and shutting the door behind him. He inched closer to where she was sitting afterwards, carefully kneeling down next to her like he might scare her off if he moved too quickly.
Seeing the lines of blush on his visor made her feel a bit more relaxed, knowing she was probably blushing too.
“Could I see your… again? So I can answer the question?”
They both blushed worse at that, though Uzi’s was much more anxious than flustered.
“You sure? I don’t want you to think it’s like, gross, or anything. I don’t think I could handle that.”
N immediately sat up straighter, looking at Uzi with a serious yet somehow deeply loving expression.
“No- I’d never. Please don’t think that. I just want to see so I can-“ He drifted off, too embarrassed to finish his sentence.
Seeing that gave Uzi this strange rush of trust in him though. He wanted to see her. Wanted to answer her questions and comfort her as much as he could. He wouldn’t do that unless he really meant what he said.
It was enough to convince her to agree, shifting from facing the mirror so they faced each other instead, still keeping the blankets wrapped over her though. It took another short moment of convincing herself that it’d be okay before slowly pulling the blanket away to reveal what she’d been so utterly ashamed of before.
She shuddered being exposed to the naturally cold air of her room, but with the way N was suddenly looking at her it quickly faded away. His eyes immediately focused on her, staring pointedly right where the five petal-like pieces each fanned out and connected into the purple skin that had corroded her port. It looked like he couldn’t stop himself from doing so almost, every time he tried to look back up at Uzi’s face his eyes would inevitably dip back down to watch as the slimy lubricant dripped from her.
“You’re so pretty..” He mumbled the words softly under his breath, probably not intending for her to actually hear.
She had though. She heard every syllable, and how his voice became awestruck saying each of them.
“N?..”
He snapped out of his staring, blush burning into the screen of his visor as he realized what he’d said.
“Sorry, I don’t mean to stare. It’s just-“
“You.. think I’m pretty like this?” She mumbled the words just as softly, looking up at him as she did.
“Uzi, you’re gorgeous.” He said it without hesitation, like it was the truest fact he knew.
She blushed the hardest she ever had in her life at that, not expecting him to be so genuine. But he was, and it took all her fear of him hating her away. How could he hate her when he was looking at her like this? Yellow eyes so wide yet focused as he tried and failed to be respectful by not staring. He almost seemed scared to touch her, not out of disgust, but as if it might ruin the sight before him like a piece of art too fragile to hold.
“But to uh, answer your earlier question.. some disassemblers do look like this, but some don’t, and it’s not really a gender thing?” He seemed confused while trying to explain, not having enough words to properly describe what he meant.
“So you guys don’t have, like, the male or female equivalent of how worker drones are?”
“No no, we do. But that’s not really what decides our um.. bits.”
Uzi recognized what he was talking about now, her years of reading fanfiction somehow coming in handy.
“Oh, so it’s like you’re a guy and your other gender?”
“Basically? It doesn’t always match up like how you’d think though, with disassemblers there tends to be more of a set pairing for each flock. It can result in someone being a bit ‘miss matched’ kinda like V.”
She blushed at being so bluntly told that, although it suddenly gave her a much better understanding of why V was who she was. It made sense though, even making her feel a bit sympathetic considering what she herself was going through right now.
“So you and J got the lucky end of the draw then?”
He nodded, a bit embarrassed at admitting it which caused him to finally tear his eyes away from her.
Uzi wasn’t satisfied with just that answer alone however, her curiosity utterly peaked. He seemed receptive to it too, even if he was still the same sweet boy she knew him to be. It wouldn’t hurt to push him just a little, right?
“Could I maybe see what you have then? You don’t have to, of course.”
N hesitated only slightly, turning back to look at her before nodding again.
“Alright, but it’ll definitely be different than what you’re used to.”
Although she’d never say it out loud, she immediately became excited at that. Just based on how her new anatomy looked, tens of different images ran through her mind at once. She forced herself not to jump to conclusions though, patiently sitting in front of him while watching what he’d do.
N slowly undid his coat first, showing off the metal plating of his chest and that bright yellow core that almost seemed to be glowing now. His rubber hull was just like hers, and so was his pelvic section, although a bit more human-like due to their difference in legs. He was gorgeous though, and she hoped her staring showed that.
He fully took off the coat before readjusting how he was sitting to be a bit more comfortable, clearly a bit anxious like she had been.
“Don’t push yourself, okay?” She offered him the same comfort he’d given her, and yet he trusted her implicitly even without it.
“I want to do this. It’s just- kinda embarrassing..” He dragged his hand down over his pelvic hatch as he mumbled, yet again unable to look at Uzi.
He kept going though, pressing against the hatch in a way that forced a shudder through his body. Uzi couldn’t help how her mouth watered seeing that, the way he bit his lip and shut his eyes while continuing to gently palm against himself until it finally opened with a soft click.
At first what came out didn’t seem too different from a normal male worker, just a simple bright yellow tentacle made of silicone that tapered at its point and even seemed to have a faint set of off-color markings. It was only when she drew her eyes further down that the differences really started making themselves obvious. It was much more.. size appropriate, for one. It made sense considering disassemblers stood about a head taller than workers, but that didn’t stop her from blushing as she processed what that difference in size meant for this.
Her blush only worsened as she noticed how the base of it seemed almost swollen, a noticeable bulb in the bottom length that reminded her of something familiar.
…
“Holy shit, do you have a knot?”
N’s eyes immediately widened at that, sputtering at the sudden call out.
“You- You know what it is?”
Shit. She just kinda outed herself didn’t she? It was fine- she knew he was aware that she read things like that, so it wasn’t a total embarrassment at least.
“Um, yeah actually. It swells when you… finish, right?”
He gave a short nod, still embarrassed though noticeably reassured that Uzi wasn’t worried over it. In fact, he seemed to grow more excited over her reaction as his tentacle started dripping with the same kind of lubricant she was.
A shudder went through both of them seeing it, and she immediately knew what she wanted to do next.
“Could I touch it?” The words came out quicker than she intended, but N didn’t seem to mind.
He nodded again, spreading his legs slightly as a clear invitation while mumbling
“Just be gentle, okay?”
“Of course.”
She couldn’t think about doing anything else other than that, carefully scooting herself forward and sitting up on her knees to be closer to him. She bit her lip realizing just how close her port was to his, but forced herself to refocus on actually satisfying her curiosity first.
She reached her hand out to take hold of the tentacle, only to jump when it pressed into her touch and started leaking more lubricant.
“S-Sorry, it moves like that when I’m worked up.”
“It’s okay, it just caught me off guard. Can I-”
“You can keep going, please.” He said it without having to be asked, clearly wanting her to.
Uzi could feel her fans spinning harder at that. She’d never seen him so needy, and really wanted to see more of it. So, she did as asked.
She slowly moved her hand back, careful to not pinch the soft silicone between the bends of her fingers when taking hold of it. The lubricant definitely made that less of an issue, absolutely coating her hand the moment she touched him. It made her first attempt at pumping him almost effortless, with immediate results too.
N sucked in a deep breath feeling it, his tail starting to sway behind him as he leaned his head to the side. Something about it was so oddly cute that Uzi couldn’t help but fawn over it for a moment before continuing. She listened to every soft whine or short breath he made while slowly moving her hand up and down until she was able to settle into a pace he seemed to like.
He looked so beautiful with his eyes shut tight like this, doing his best to stay still and maybe even quite himself despite it not working too well. He whined like a dog begging to be pet more and more, hips starting to lightly rut against the carpet of her floor too as the sensation got to him. It gave her such a strange sense of power and yet a deep amount of trust at the same time. He trusted her not to hurt him, and yet she absolutely could without a second thought.
She’d never do so, or at least not in a way he didn’t enjoy, but knowing she could was like setting a fire in front of a pyromaniac. She could make him beg, or whine, or maybe even scream like this. She loved the idea honestly, getting to see him so desperate and needy for her like she’d been for him during so many sleepless nights.
“Uzi- C-Can we go to the bed? Please?”
His sudden request pulled her from her thoughts, not expecting him to admit that he wanted her that badly. It made her visor absolutely burn with blush, but she couldn’t find it in herself to deny him. She wanted it just as badly, being able to feel herself ache from how empty she was without him.
“Y-Yeah, we can do that.” She cursed herself for not being able to say it more confidently, but wasn’t really given the time to dwell on it.
He moved to pick her up as soon as she gave permission, unintentionally pressing himself right against her as he moved to carefully lay her on the bed. It was still a complete mess from her little slump, but surprisingly comfortable with the way the blankets had layered themselves.
N certainly didn’t seem to mind, kneeling right between her legs while still having that needy look on his face. Robo-God she loved seeing him like that. Like she was the only thing in the world he could focus on right now.
“Can I touch you?”
“Go ahead,”
They both spoke a little too quickly, revealing their eagerness for each other. N gently brought his hand towards her, pressing his fingers against the flesh sticking out of her port. She could feel how each petal, although they were really much more like smaller tentacles now that she thought about it, reacted by curling into the touch just as he had earlier and coating his hand with the slimy fluid that was practically dripping from her now. That alone would’ve embarrassed her to no end were it not for how he started rubbing.
She gasped softly and shut her eyes, whimpering when he kept it up. His hand quickly became almost entangled from how each tentacle bent around his fingers to keep it in place. He didn’t even think about backing away though, starting to use his thumb to gently run over each piece of sensitive flesh. Uzi reacted even more to that too, digging her own hands into the messy sheets as she pushed back against him.
Touching herself had never felt like this before. Sure it felt good, but this was like spark after spark of pleasure being sent through her spine and straight to her processor. Even just the gentle rubbing felt amazing, starting to cause her to drool from it all. As great as it was though, it wasn’t enough. Not when she knew the opportunity she had in front of her, so needy and just waiting for her to say something.
“N, please,”
He visibly hesitated, slowly pulling his hand away so as to not hurt her but still a bit nervous.
“You know we’re gonna be stuck together if we-“
“Yes, I know. I want that. Badly. Please..”
He didn’t have the strength to deny her any longer, readily moving to line himself up seeing her beg like that. He was so utterly weak for her, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. He gently pushed his hips forward after she whined at him for taking too long, biting down on his lip hard to control himself. She felt so good, and even with only a bit of him inside her she squirmed.
He actually had to press his hands against her hips to keep her still so he could continue pushing, although it got her light trembling to spread everywhere else in her body. He would’ve felt bad seeing it were it not for how she was absolutely begging him to keep going. Soft gasps and moans coupled with desperate praises falling from her mouth every time he inched forward.
She needed him so badly, all the pent up desire she’d been trying to ignore now spilling out like a sabered champagne bottle. She didn’t care about biting off more than she could chew, only focused on getting him to fully bottom out inside her. She drooled feeling how the base of the knot squished against her port, tentacles readily gripping onto it which caused both of them to writhe in pleasure.
They started grinding against each other like that, not yet ready to move but too desperate to be fully patient. It allowed Uzi to catch onto the small bump in her rubber stomach, barely noticeable in its outline but clearly coming from how N’s tentacle was made for someone bigger than her. She whined seeing it, but at the same time it gave her a rush of pride being able to say she could handle it.
N was staring now too, having caught onto how she was looking at herself. He seemed more concerned than fascinated though.
“You sure you can handle this, ‘Z?”
“I’m willing to find out if I can’t.” Her words were a bit slurred with how this was getting to her head, but she stayed determined nonetheless. She was going to fuck her boyfriend one way or another, logistics be damned.
Said boyfriend was now blushing from the comment too, unprepared for her eagerness. He loved it though, just as he loved the rest of her. She’d always been this fiery, and seeing it in action even in a situation like this made his heart swell.
“Alright, just let me know if it starts to hurt okay?”
“I will, I promise, now please just fuck me already.”
N became too embarrassed to say anything after that, just nodding in agreement before starting to pull his hips back so he could thrust into her properly. Even just him moving felt amazing though, her internal systems evidently lined with the same sensitive flesh as her tentacles. And for once, she found herself being grateful because of it.
Every change used to be a bother, a nuisance, another reason to stay hidden in her room or curled up in her bed. She didn’t have to hide from this though, she doubted she could with how N seemed so entranced with her like this. He couldn’t look away, eyes constantly scanning from her face to her body, and very obviously staring at where they connected. Every thrust whether in or out was accented by the flick of his eyes downward, and it was heaven.
She quickly found herself just laying back into the messy bed underneath her, letting the quiet gasps she made slowly grow into needier noises as he forced them from her vocoder. Short whines turned into breathy whimpers, soft hums into moans, and best of all, at least in N’s opinion, was how her words went from needy to demanding.
Suddenly she wasn’t just begging him anymore, telling him things like “More” “Good” “Keep Going” to lead him like a dog on a leash to what she wanted.
Anytime he took a bit too long to respond she would squirm impatiently and whine like she’d die without him. Yet, he found himself not minding in the slightest. He rushed to meet her every time, eager to hear more of her voice like this.
The clacking of metallic plastic connecting over and over again from it started coupling with how squishy every other noise coming from them was. It made the both of them blush and unable to look at each other, still listening to the sighs and moans leaving their opposite however. It was like birdsong almost, a call and response each full of sheer love for the other.
N leaned down over Uzi to press his core against hers, connecting them further as he nuzzled in close to her neck. She could feel the heat from his glass plating, warming up her own to match how her entire body felt at that moment. She didn’t even notice how his hands moved to tangle in with hers until she tried squeezing the sheets under her and found them replaced by him.
It filled her with a deep sense of comfort, being so close to him already. Hearing how he was panting and moaning softly against her audio receptors, bucking his hips of his own accord, even just his cute whining made her feel so loved in that moment. She got him like this. Just existing the way she had been got him so worked up and needy that he begged to even just touch her.
Without realizing it her wings had now slipped out of her casing in her thoughts, wrapping over N’s back to keep him on top of her. She hadn’t quite gotten used to them still, meaning they’d pop out without her say whenever she became spooked or overly stressed out. Right now though, they were acting on Uzi’s own accord even if she didn’t mean for them to. They held her partner close, claws pressed into his shoulders and even digging into the plating to prevent him from backing away. He winced briefly from the feeling though it wasn’t enough to deter him. Nothing could really, not even the feeling of oil, his oil in fact, starting to run down his back.
The way she was starting to tremble under him was enough to ignore it, choosing to stare as he kept going. Even as the squishy base of his knot turned more firm he kept bucking. His breathy whimpers turned hot against her neck as he started panting out steam from the effort.
She was no better, artificial drool pooling at the corner of her lips. She managed to turn her twitching into needy grinding against him though, teetering on her own edge. It was absolutely the best thing she’d ever felt, and yet she needed just a little bit more for it to be all the more perfect. Uzi knew N didn’t have much energy left in him though, and he’d probably crash if he tried any harder. And while that was a cute visual, it probably wouldn’t go over well as their first time.
An idea struck her hard suddenly, making her use what shaky strength she did have to get his attention.
“F-Fuck, N, bite me.”
“Mm?”
“Bite me!”
N took a second to understand she was being serious, eyes hollowing when he did. Even with the hesitance though she could still see he was blushing.
“A-Are you-“
“Please.”
She didn’t give him the chance to back out, clawed hand breaking away from his back to dig into his hair to push him right where she needed him. The instant he went through with it she could tell, moaning with utter relief as his teeth helped to relieve the ache inside her like popping a balloon. She could care less if it meant she bled out in the moment, only able to focus on the overwhelming tidal wave of coding that flooded her systems. Chant after chant went through her head, connecting her to him.
He wanted her, as much as she wanted him. He thought she was beautiful, gorgeous even. She loved him with all her heart, and knew he felt the same way after this. There was no way he didn’t with how he was saying her name and wagging his tail against the sheets. He loved every bit of her, not the slightest bit freaked out by how weird or off putting it might be, because it was her.
Her brain finally caught back up to her body after going through all of those thoughts, blushing when she felt N’s hips rut against her as his knot fully swelled. He kept going until he physically couldn’t, all while panting and licking against her bleeding neck to slow it to a stop. It made her feel so full, giving a comforting warmth that spread through her core and into her limbs.
“I love you so much, ‘Z.” He spoke with such a breathy yet sweet whine to his voice, unable to pick his head up from being so utterly spent.
“I love you too, dork.”
She kissed the top of his head that was unhidden, detangling from his grip so she could fix the messier strands. He leaned into her touch, and started making the sweetest noise ever from it. She’d heard his fans whirr like this before, mostly when he was asleep or lazing about, but being so close made her realize it was actually like a sort of purring.
They sat in that comfortable not-quite silence together, unable to pull apart yet not having even a hint of desire to. She didn’t want to be anywhere but here right now. At least not without N. She couldn’t imagine ever being apart from him again after this. Even if it meant dying where she laid right now, she found herself pretty content with that ending.
The peace stretched on for a few heavy moments, each more special than the last until N broke the silence to peek up at her through the messy locs in front of his face.
“I love all of you, by the way.”
She looked at him in a sort’ve stunned silence, not expecting the words. The tears budding on her visor were also something she hadn’t expected, but she didn’t try to stop them either. It was the way he said the words, with such sincerity, like he knew she needed to hear them, that had struck her heart in a way she couldn’t shake.
And the more she thought about it, the more she realized she did need to hear it. She really, really did. It wasn’t something she could run from now that it was right in front of her. Even if she knew it already, hearing him say it made what fear remained vanish like a shadow in the moon’s light.
“I love all of you too, N.”