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The buzz of the aquarium pump joined the clock in a constant beat. Sayori stared at the red betta fish slowly making its way through the fake plants in the water. There it went, going into the nooks and crannies and every corner of the tank. Exploring, yet learning nothing new, as it was the same tank it had spent thousands of hours in. Her eyes eventually lost focus, now entirely off mark and looking straight onto nothing. Her ears tuned out everything besides the sound of bubbles rising from the bottom of the tank. She sat there, motionless, waiting fo–
“Sayori.” MC tapped her on the shoulder, trying to get her attention. She quickly snapped out of her trance, adjusting herself back into a proper posture.
“Ms. Yanagi was asking if you're alright.”
“Oh, oh, I’m fine, haha. Sorry. Just a bit… tired. It's been a long day.” She bowed her head to look at the floor in embarrassment.
“Well, that's okay. I understand. I know you still need some more time to adjust.” Ms. Yanagi had her hands clasped together on the desk. The same exact pose she’s had since they entered the room. MC was starting to wonder if her back was already hurting.
Sayori doesn't reply. Silence passed, and Ms. Yanagi continued.
“I’ve heard you two are childhood friends. It's good to have someone you trust as part of this process.”
MC nodded in agreement. He seemed to be listening intently, while Sayori seemed to be more focused on the floor.
“Well, I’ve been hearing a lot of positive things from your teachers about Sayori’s recovery. I appreciate all you've done for her these past few months.”
“Thank you, ma’am. It’s my pleasure.”
“Good to hear.”
Silence fills the room for a little bit longer. Sayori’s arm is still firmly wrapped around MC’s, clinging like a koala to a branch.
“Well, I suppose I’ll let you two go.”
“Alright. Thank you, Ms. Yanagi. Let's go, Sayori?” For the first time since entering the room, she let go of MC’s arm. She looked up at Ms. Yanagi and bowed, before briskly walking out of the room, ahead of MC.
“Oh, and MC?”
“Yes, ma’am?”
“Take good care of her.”
Ms. Yanagi gave him a soft smile. Surely, she already knew more than he had let on. MC expected nothing less; rumor has it that the student counselor is nothing short of omniscient.
“Of course, ma’am. See you around.”
MC closed the door behind them. The sun was just about to set, painting the sky a bright orange which bled through the windows of the school hallways. They began their trek home: the home they now shared together.
“Childhood friends”, huh. Ms. Yanagi’s words didn't escape Sayori. She knew full well that they weren't that public with their relationship (how obvious it was notwithstanding), but it still got her thinking. On one hand, it was an obvious understatement for her. MC and Sayori were definitely more than just friends. On the other, it wasn’t too far off with how he treated her. It felt lacking, maybe even unfair that MC would only be called her “friend” even with how much he meant to her. Even with all they've been through together. Even after all he's said to her. Even after all they've done…
But had they really done much? It dawned on Sayori that besides the flirting, the handholding, and the kisses that never got any close to her lips, they've never really done something on the level of “lovers”. Not that she knew what exactly that meant; it's her first time being in a relationship, after all. On the outside, they seemed more like siblings than a couple, though the way that MC treated her at school probably leaned more towards “doting husband” than “brother”.
At this point, maybe they should be… what, kissing? Sayori already got plenty of kisses from MC, but for some reason they never landed anywhere near her lips. Whether MC wants to tease Sayori for being so short by kissing only her forehead; well, that she isn't sure about. It sure does match his usual goofiness, but going this long without an actual kiss? Sayori was starting to get impatient. What else was he waiting for?
MC had constantly kept his distance. Ever since Sayori got discharged, he seemed to be more dignified around Sayori. He was truly taking up the role of being a childhood friend. But that distance left Sayori wanting. Her feelings still haven’t changed since before the festival. She still loves him. Deeply. Immensely. And she knows he loves her too. But that distance left her yearning, and it was getting unbearable.
Leaving the bathroom, MC found a timid Sayori standing just outside the door. Her fingers were pointing at each other, a clear Sayori-esque signal that she wanted something. “Gotta pee?”
She stomped a bit in playful anger. “Noooo! Dummy. That's not what I want.” She was looking away, avoiding eye contact with MC.
“What do you want, then?” asked MC. Sayori’s hands were now clasped together in front of her. She was rubbing her knuckles, trying to force the words out of her mouth.
“Could you… sleep… with me… tonight…?” It hadn’t even been a second before she followed up with a brisk “If that's okay with you.”
“Bad dreams?” She shook her head. “No. I just… want to.” MC nodded in response. Switching off the bathroom lights, he turned to the stairway. “I’ll just go get my things. Wait for me?” A silent nod from Sayori, and he made his way down.
From the top of the stairs, Sayori peeked at the living room below. MC picked up his phone and a pillow on the couch that he borrowed from Sayori’s room. He ruminated a bit about bringing the blanket with him, but a bit of wishful thinking that Sayori would be willing to share hers stopped him. As he walked back to the stairs, Sayori quickly scurried back to her room and sat on the bed. She cleared out a space for MC’s pillow, but the small size of the bed didn't really give a lot of room for either of them. MC closed the bedroom door behind him, and put his pillow down on the free spot that Sayori just made. She was already lying down on the bed, back against the wall, making space for MC as he got in.
He pulled the blanket up, covering both of their shoulders. They were both facing each other, faces only inches apart. His hands moved towards hers, clasping them into a ball. “You okay?” The soft glow of the streetlights outside gave just enough light for MC to make out parts of Sayori’s face. She was staring rather blankly at MC, mouth slightly open. “Y-yeah…”
Sayori was getting accustomed to having MC beside her. They'd slept a lot together as kids, but that habit had died off many years ago, not so long before they began to drift apart. She'd been comparing the feeling from back then and now, and found that there really was something new. It still felt the same as those old nights, after a long day of playing house, where they'd stare at each other in bed like this. Except this time, they're all grown up now. Even worse: they're dating.
Sayori's heart skipped a beat at the thought. That he's right there in front of her at her most vulnerable; there was a minuscule amount of worry. But why would she? He's all grown up now. He knows how to treat her. He’d never hurt her. And she trusted him with unbound limits.
MC held her hands for a bit more, before giving the bridge of her nose a kiss. “Go to sleep. I’ll be right here.” The kiss started to make her heart race. If she had felt sleepy just a few seconds ago, it was all gone now. But Sayori felt unsatisfied with it. It just wasn't enough. Their faces were the closest they've been in so long. She wanted more.
She wanted to tease him. “Just a friendly kiss?” The silence of that whisper just barely made her voice audible. Of course, Sayori meant it as a joke, but she was hoping that he'd get the hint. MC smiled at her as he placed his hand on her cheek. But he hesitated. He didn't bring his face any closer. Even MC craved intimacy, but he always restrained himself. He didn't want to rush her into anything, especially not when she was still on the road to recovery. He didn't want to make her feel indebted. He didn't want his love to feel like it needed repaying. It had to be her call.
But for Sayori, the anticipation was killing her. The intimacy she wanted, the intimacy she'd been silently hoping for for months—it felt so close. She was getting desperate. She'd been holding back too, scared of pushing MC away. Scared of reading the wrong signals. Scared that she'd hurt him more than she already had. But Sayori just couldn't wait any longer. She closed her eyes, and brought her lips just an inch away from his. She could feel his breath on her face, and he felt her breath on his. MC, finally, met her halfway, and they shared their first kiss together.
Sayori had never kissed anyone on the lips before. Not even her parents. The soft feeling of someone else’s lips on hers felt alien, and the taste wasn't the sweet (or maybe salty) flavor she expected. In fact, there wasn't even a taste to it at all. Just a hint of the toothpaste they both used. In a few seconds, that moment—their first kiss—was over. They both pulled back. “Hmm… Minty.”, Sayori quipped.
“Yeah?”
She chuckled back. “Haha. Yeah.”
The smile on Sayori's face then turned serious, like a predator locking in on its prey, charged with nothing but passionate desire. Her eyes zeroed in on MC’s lips, the gateway to her hunt. She placed her hand at the back of MC’s head. With a gentle tug, she pulled MC deep into another kiss. This time, she began exploring, moving her tongue in MC’s mouth. Learning its shape and texture. Mapping a yet uncharted territory. She wanted to know everything about him; this, too. MC didn't expect it at all; a small moan came out of him as her tongue probed for his. The now-rapid beating of his heart could be felt all the way to his head, exactly in step with hers.
Warm. Slimy. Chaotic. It was clear that Sayori had never done this kind of thing before and, as a result, their mixed saliva had slowly begun leaking out onto MC’s pillow. She propped herself up on an elbow to get a better angle. Her pace was ravenous, crawling and digging into the crevices of his mouth. All of that pent up yearning was all flowing out of her. She pulled MC’s head harder, practically pressing his face against hers. She wanted more. Something more than what just “friends” would do. Something that was memorable to both of them. Something that they could only do now, in the privacy of her room, under the faint light through the thin curtains that made the details of their expressions ambiguous.
Her long expedition into his mouth stopped as they both caught their breath. MC had been lying still, barely reacting to her relentless pursuit. His eyes still tracked hers, mouth still agape, hand on his chest. Sayori couldn't help but think she'd overdone it. But before she could begin forming thoughts of regret, he chuckled. His hand cupped her cheek and gently pulled until their foreheads touched. The feeling of his breath on her face tickled Sayori.
“I love you.”
The sound of his whisper sent sparks surging through her ears. How could those three words carry so much meaning? How can just one sentence send her heart and mind into euphoria? It wasn't even the first time he'd said this. Nor the second, the third, not even the first dozen. That affirmation came more often than nightly. She always thought it felt like they were a married couple with how often she hears it. But above all else, how could he say it so easily? As if it's second nature to him? It always took her a short pause in between. Every time—this one no different—she plucks those words straight from the depths of her heart, squeezes it through her throat, and wraps it with all the sincerity and intent she can before it leaves the tip of her tongue.
“I love you, too.”
He smiles, with his eyes breaking contact as he starts to feel the embarrassment. He had the smile of an absolute dork. A dork who fell in love with her. And Sayori didn't want it any other way. Because you'd never find him looking like this at school or in front of his parents. It was only here, in front of his lover, that he'd look this vulnerable. His lover. His girlfriend. Her. Sayori. Repeating it in her mind fried the synapses of her brain, as she slowly melted onto him.
Sayori drew circles on his chest with her finger, tracing the figure of the bears on his pajamas. “I feel so lucky to be yours.”
MC combed through Sayori’s coral hair with his hand. Soft and fluffy, just like her personality. “I could say the same about you.”
“Hmm… then why won't you kiss me?”
MC couldn't see the expression on her face. But he knew from her voice that it was melancholic. Perhaps it was yearning. Perhaps it was disappointment. He always thought that it had taken him a long, long while, but he still held back.
“I didn't want to pressure you.”
“Pressure me?”
“Well. I know I’ve done a lot for you already. And I know you're really thankful for it. And it just felt wrong to me to make a move on you.”
Sayori hummed. “Why would it be wrong?”
“I just didn't want to make it feel like kissing me was something you had to do. Like I’d leave you if you didn't want it. Of course, I’d never do that. But I wanted you to want it too.”
“I wanted it too, you know. For so long now.”
Sayori placed her arm across MC’s chest, with her hand on her shoulder. She could feel the air filling his lungs and the blood flowing through his heart.
“Hmm. Never thought you'd want it that much though. Maybe I’d been holding back too much…” The sudden change of attitude nearly had MC shell shocked.
Sayori thought of it all as silly. That they both held back from intimacy because they didn't know what the other was thinking. She knows they should have known better than to keep those thoughts bottled up. “Hehe. You really should have just asked. You trust me to tell you when I'm not okay with something, right?”
“Yeah.” A sigh left MC’s mouth. “You're right.”
“Of course I am. I'm all yours, after all.”
“Yeah. I…” MC blushed, losing his words. Hearing her so confidently assert herself as MC’s made his heart skip a beat.
“Hmm? What did you think I was?” Sayori wanted to tease him, just a little. Payback for all the times he'd tease her too.
“Uhh, mine? My girlfriend? Duh…”
“No, silly!” Sayori softly beat his chest like a drum. “I mean… what do you think of me?”
MC breathed out a sigh, collecting all the tiny pieces of her in his mind, reminiscing the moments you've spent together. “You're you, Sayori. A class of your own.”
To think of it, words could never really tell just how much Sayori meant to MC. So to have her here, right next to him, was all that he could ever ask for.
“More than just a friend. My partner. My raison d'être.”
“Ooh, French. Sounds fancy.”
“It's true! Read it online somewhere.”
“And what does it mean?”
“It means you’re my reason for living.”
“Oh.”
It still stumps Sayori that there's someone who valued her so much as to live for her. It was a concept she was still slowly getting accustomed to, more and more as she began to realize her worth.
MC stayed quiet. He wanted to let her think about it first, and come up with her own reaction. After an uncomfortable silence—so long, he thought she'd break down crying—she finally replied.
“Then… I guess you're my reason detray too.”
“Excusez moi, your what?”
“Look, I’m not good at French, okay?” Sayori sighed. “But you get what I mean…”
“Heh. And what do you think of me?”
“You're everything.”
“Even the bad stuff?”
“Okay, maybe not everything.”
“So… something?”
Sayori took a short pause to think. “The love of my life. What makes it easier for me to get up in the morning. You complete me.”
“Even when I’m annoying?”
Sayori sighed again. “Yes, even when you're annoying.”
“That's why I love you.” MC giggled.
She turned her head, snuggling under his chin. He wrapped his arm around her, rubbing up and down her back. After a short pause, she finally whispered back.
“I love you, too. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Sayori.”
MC laid his hand on her head, intertwining the strands of her coral pink hair with his fingers. He gave her one last kiss on the top of her head.
“Sweet dreams.”