Chapter Text
Kokichi knew he was going to have to die a very long time ago. He was toying with the idea even before the second trial.
The more information he uncovered throughout the school, the more his plans grew in their intricacies. And with that ever growing amount of information, it still only led to the same outcome. His death.
He was entrusting this plan to Kaito—as unfortunate as that was. Shuich would be leading the trial after all, and it was hard to fool him. Kokichi just hoped Kaito had it in him to play his role till the end.
Kokichi certainly did.
The press lowered slower than Kokichi ever imagined a hydraulic press could. And as the metal came closer, he desperately tried to ignore the fear clasping his heart in a fierce grip. Fear that his plan would fail and everyone’s deaths would be in vain. Fear that this killing game would continue, and others would be forced to participate in such an awfully BORING and unimpressive shit-stain of a game those freaks deemed “entertainment.”
The metal of the press was cold when it ultimately reached him, and Kokichi squeezed his eyes shut and resisted the urge to scream. There was pressure, panic, excruciating pain, and then…it was over.
Kokichi never gave much thought to what life after death was like. He honestly expected that there would be a true void of nothingness. That he’d cease to be and that’d simply be it.
Apparently, he was wrong. Because there was something…
His thoughts carried on even after his body was crushed. He felt like he was floating through water. He couldn’t open his eyes and he couldn’t breathe and he couldn’t move but these things didn’t scare him. They just—were. And he found it quite peaceful, the complete silence, the lack of stimulation. For the first time in a long time, Kokichi didn’t have any worries. He could listen to himself think without the constant fog of anxiety—
Comically on cue, a loud buzzing noise shot through his senses. It was all encompassing, making him feel as though his body was vibrating and his brain was rattling against his skull. Pinpricks of pain traveled across his body, like he was being shocked by static electricity all over.
Before he even had time to comprehend the agonizing assault—it stopped. He heaved ragged breaths, body falling limp against cold metal. Cold metal? Panic ran through him, the feeling of the press coming down on him repeating over and over again in his mind. Wherever he was, it was dark and cramped, and Kokichi was hyperventilating at this point.
He was breathing, and he could feel, and he could think, and why was that because wasn’t he supposed to be dead? Where was he? Was this hell?
It sure felt like it, as he thrashed around, suffocated. He was confused and disoriented, and he felt like he was being crushed again—and he didn’t even realize he was banging on whatever metal was in front of him before it swung out of the way and he wasn’t shrouded in darkness anymore.
He tipped forward, falling out of…whatever the hell he was in. His hands pressed against smooth concrete as he caught his fall, purple strands of hair falling over his eyes and obscuring his vision. His chest rose and fell rapidly, heart pounding wildly, and body trembling.
“Oh my goodness! Are you alright?!”
Kokichi froze at the familiar voice, entire body tensing. Hesitantly, he glanced up and was met with the sight of Kiibo looking down at him with concern.
What the fuck.
Kokichi felt dizzy. He looked around, noticing their surroundings was…one of the classrooms. He whipped his head around, looking back at the locker he just fell out of. He was in the locker…just like at the beginning of the game.
Again, what the fuck.
“How…when…when the fuck did I get HERE?” Kokichi stammered, breathless and utterly confused. Kiibo looked around as well, the concern still prevalent but now a calculating look in his eyes.
“I do not know. I’m confused about this as well. It appears we both awoke in these lockers in this strange classroom…” His eyes landed back on Kokichi, who was still sitting on his knees against the concrete floor. Kokichi’s eyebrows furrowed as they made eye contact and every thought that tried to form felt like it was clawing its way through quicksand.
“Again? I—Kiibo did…wait, how the hell am I even here?” Kokichi muttered the last part to himself, rubbing at his eyes. His brain was still catching up to the fact he was…alive?
The robot looked at him in confusion. “…I’m sorry, do I know you?”
Kokichi froze yet again. He felt his eye twitch as he looked up at the other student. “…Huh.”
Kiibo smiled awkwardly, “I don’t recall telling you my name.”
Kokichi shot up from his spot on the floor impressively fast, especially considering his jitters from—well, everything. Kiibo startled at his abrupt movement, taking a step back. Kokichi took a step towards him, which resulted in Kiibo taking yet another step back, until he hit a desk and was forced to stop.
Kokichi placed his hands on his robotic shoulders, and Kiibo stared at him with utter bewilderment and a bit of fear.
“..Is the killing game still going on?”
“Ki-killing game? What are you talking about?!—“
“The trials!”
“Like in court?—“
“The others? Kaito? Shuichi?”
“Who?—“
“Monokuma?”
“What?!”
“You don’t know who I am!?” Kokichi shook the robot by his shoulders, spouting whatever came to mind first.
“No! Could you please let me go now?!” Kiibo yelled, terrified at this point. Kokichi stared blankly at him for another moment before complying, stepping away from him. Kiibo let out a breath, hand on his chest in relief.
Kokichi bit his thumb nail. This didn’t make any sense. He was supposed to be dead. He furrowed his eyebrows in thought, turning away from Kiibo and beginning to pace. “Dead…I died, I know I did…maybe this is some sort of afterlife? Maybe it’s that thing—when your life flashes before your eyes? Yeah…yeah that makes sense…kind of…” He was muttering under his breath, Kiibo unable to hear what he was saying.
“Uhm…could you please tell me how you know my name…?” Kiibo inquired with a shaky voice, and then tensed when Kokichi whipped his head to look at him with an intense glare. “O-or not! It’s fine!”
“…I’m a psychic.” Kokichi responded, his first instinct was to give a bold-faced lie—as usual.
“Oh! So…is that your ultimate?”
Kokichi’s shoulders sagged and he ran a hand through his hair. “Sure—yeah, whatever.” He responded, half-assed.
“Does that mean…all that stuff you were saying? About…a killing game? And that there are others here? Is that all true?!” Kiibo interrogated, pointing a finger at the liar.
Kokichi sighed, “Well Kiiboy, that doesn’t matter. Because I’m dead anyway and this is just a weird dream my dying mind decided to conjure up. You should feel honored that you’re the first person I thought of for some reason…even though I have plenty of memories much better than this stuffy old place!” He chirped, smiling that grin he always did when he was lying or over exaggerating something. Then he paused,
“Actually, that was a total lie. My entire life was pretty shit to the end, haha! Hah…” Kokichi trailed off, the smile falling. He didn’t know why he was still putting on this act even though he was so exhausted and it didn’t matter anyway. God, he just wanted to go back to that peaceful place right after he died…
“Uhm…” Kiibo blinked, wide eyed. “I can assure you, based on my calculations you’re definitely alive.”
Kokichi couldn’t help but laugh at that. He patted Kiibo’s shoulder, shaking his head. “That truly is such a Kiibo thing to say. My mind built you pretty perfectly. You should feel grateful!” He exclaimed, and then turned on his heels towards the exit of the classroom.
Kiibo rushed after him, asking more questions that Kokichi didn’t pay any mind to. Instead, he focused on looking around the school, humming. It was just like how it was when he was alive—he supposed his memory was impeccable. As he walked down a staircase, he let his mind drift. He wondered if his plan was going to work. He sighed, looking towards the ceiling as he strolled down the hallway.
“…I wonder how long these usually last. They say it FLASHES before your eyes but this is far longer than a flash.” Kokichi pondered aloud, and Kiibo, who was still following him, opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off. “What d’ya think Kiiboy?” Kokichi raised an eyebrow in inquiry.
Kiibo shook his head and pursed his lips, “I’d assume quite a while considering you aren’t dead.”
“Bleh. You’re useless. Suppose that’s accurate too!”
“What?! Why are you suddenly insulting me?!”
“Shut up. I think I’m getting a headache.” Kokichi grumbled, and it was true. His head was beginning to hurt, which confused him. Why the hell was his head hurting in this memory flash or whatever the hell it was?
“Sorry, I guess…but that was uncalled for.”
“Yeah yeah, whatever dream Kiibo.” Kokichi waved him off, making another random turn down the hallway and ignoring Kiibo’s protests that this was real. God, why’d his brain make Kiibo so annoying?
Voices echoed distantly down the hallway, and Kokichi instantly recognized them. He paused.
“Is this even an actual school? It’s so…weird.” It was a female voice, a voice Kokichi hadn’t heard since the first class trial. Kaede.
“It seems like an abandoned one, considering all the plant growth.” A gentle male voice followed hers, all too familiar. It immediately sent a memory through Kokichi of the last thing that voice ever said to him.
‘You’re alone Kokichi, and you always will be.’
It was hard to stomach the words then, even though he knew that’s exactly how he wanted Shuichi to feel. How he wanted all of them to feel. Hatred. It hurt more than he ever expected, though…and it hurt again remembering it.
But, Kokichi concluded, he was dead and it was over. There was no going back, and he didn’t want to. His mind may be letting him see his friends one last time, but he had to accept the fact that his fate was sealed and eventually, this illusion would leave him too.
He decided he may as well make the best of it while he had the time.
“Oh, look! There’s others!” Kaede called when they came close enough to spot Kiibo and Kokichi. Her eyes were bright, despite the dimness of the hallway around them. Shuichi, barely peeking over the brim of his hat, also acknowledged the two, a surprised look on his face.
Kokichi nearly forgot what Shuichi was like when they first woke up there. Timid, awkward, and anxious…nothing like the confident, stern, and determined Shuichi he came to be. Kokichi could feel the potential the moment they met, though. Despite that timid nature, he could see the careful calculation on his face, the way he studied everyone and everything. He truly absorbed information and dissected it like it was second nature. He was smart and he was proactive—unlike most of the dumbasses in that goddamn academy.
What Kokichi admired the most, though, was Shuichi’s unique ability to question him. Everyone else disregarded Kokichi’s comments as lies or tricks to try and fuck with their heads—which was true in some regard, but not the way they thought. Shuichi, however, pondered his words. He felt that there was something more to them, something to pick out and investigate.
Kokichi found himself fascinated with Shuichi’s interest. Found himself fascinated with him in general. He loved to watch the look on his face when he figured something out, the way his eyes lit like fire when listening to the others debate during trials, and how sharp he became when he noticed a contradiction.
Kokichi was…fond of the detective. He refused to label his feelings any further.
“You were right…! There are others here!” Kiibo said, surprised, breaking Kokichi out of his thoughts. He didn’t respond, even as Kaede and Shuichi reached them.
“Did you guys wake up here too?” Kaede questioned, leaning forward.
“Yes! I have no memories of how I could have possibly wound up here. Is this the same for you two?” The robot responded.
“Yes, unfortunately…” Shuichi told him, “We both can’t remember anything about how we got here.”
“What about you?” Kaede turned to Kokichi, addressing him specifically. Kokichi didn’t even know what to say. Seeing Kaede alive and well was throwing him through a loop.
“Uhh…” He drummed his fingers against his thigh, uncharacteristically antsy. “Nope. Don’t remember a thing either.”
Which technically wasn’t a lie. Those flashback lights that apparently gave them their memories back were suspicious to Kokichi the moment they discovered them. He didn’t trust that the information was true at all. Why would he trust what their kidnappers fed them?
Kokichi began to zone out again as the others introduced themselves to each other. He should’ve tried to enjoy this dream state while he could but he couldn’t help but feel bothered. He didn’t exactly want to spend his last moments remembering such a hellish place. But considering he was conscious of himself and able to control his actions, at least he wouldn’t have to relive THOSE moments again…
“—ey? Hello??”
Kaede’s hand waving in front of his face made Kokichi focus again, eyes locking with her, who was looking at him with concern. “Huh?” He said, dumbly, blinking a couple times.
Kaede chuckled nervously. “Wow, you were really out of it. We were introducing ourselves. I’m-“
“I already know who you guys are.” Kokichi said flatly, crossing his arms. They stared at him in confusion, Kaede glancing back at Shuichi. “Shuichi Saihara, ultimate detective, Kaede Akamatsu, ultimate pianist, yada yada. Seriously, why couldn’t my brain conjure up something a bit more interesting?”
They continued to stare, their confusion morphing to bewilderment. “Your brain…what?” Kaede questioned, tilting her head.
Kokichi sighed. “Doesn’t matter. We can just skip the pleasantries, alright? I wanna see the others.”
This was true—he wanted to see everyone alive one last time. Especially Gonta…and even Miu, although her plans to kill him prematurely had really pissed him off. He still felt bad killing her, though, despite knowing it was to take down this whole operation. When he was alive, he had to fully detach from any and all empathy in order to set his plan in motion.
Even though it didn’t matter anymore, and even though he couldn’t change anything, he allowed himself to feel—something other than anger and determination for the first time in forever.
He skipped away from the three, running down the hall to find everyone else. They followed after him, despite the lingering confusion on their faces.
They did indeed find some others, not yet who he wanted to see though. It was nice to see everyone alive but he did have his biases, as everyone does.
Eventually, when they made it to the courtyard, he spotted a tall buff figure with unruly, green hair.
“Gontaaaa!!!” Kokichi yelled from across the yard, smiling brightly. Gonta turned around, surprised at the sudden call of his name as Kokichi rushed towards him.
Kaede and Shuichi shared a look, “I guess they know each other?” Kaede suggested, watching as Kokichi rapidly approached Gonta and jumped up and down excitedly.
“Do…Gonta know you?” The gentle giant asked, looking down at Kokichi with wide eyes. Kokichi shook his head,
“Not in this dream-space. But you did know me when I was alive.” He said, ignoring the confused look on Gonta’s face. “I’m only saying this to make myself feel better, considering you’re not the real Gonta…but I’m sorry for using you. I’m just hoping now your death won’t be in vain. But, you should know, I never hated you no matter how mean I was. It’s impossible to hate you! Every one of our classmates adored you, alright? So don’t…don’t feel bad about yourself, or guilty, no matter what. I’d roll over in my grave! …Well, considering the circumstances of my death that expression doesn’t make much sense but—you get what I mean!”
Kokichi was rambling at this point. It felt weird to pour his heart out despite it all being fake—but it also felt good. He kind of wished this was the real Gonta he was talking to. A vague thought about the afterlife popped into Kokichi’s head, but he ignored it. Even if there was something after this dream, he wouldn’t be going to the same place Gonta was, that’s for sure.
“Uh…” Gonta stared blankly for a moment, scratching his cheek. “Gonta don’t understand…” He said, completely lost.
“That’s okay Gonta. Just keep being a gentleman.”
Gonta lit up at that. “Yes! Gonta will be gentleman!”
Kokichi smiled back, “Reliable as always!” He turned to see Shuichi, Kaede, and Kiibo curiously watching the two interact.
“Alright guys. I’ve got one more person to see.” He said, bouncing away yet again to try every place he hasn’t yet to find Miu. Shuichi and Kaede followed after him as Kiibo stayed back, talking to Gonta about the situation. He spoke to the two, despite knowing they’d react like they had no clue what he was talking about. “Hmm…I wonder if this will end after I apologize to Miu. Perhaps my brain created this place as a way to get all my grievances out before I actually die!”
Shuichi and Kaede glanced at each other yet again in confusion at his statements. “Uhm…who is Miu and what are you talking about?” Kaede questioned, and Kokichi ignored her. He was ready to be rid of this place, so he set all his attention on finding Miu. He entered the warehouse, and there she was, digging through some boxes on a shelf.
“Hey whore!” Kokichi called, startling Miu and making the others gasp at the insult. The blonde turned around with a petrified expression on her face,
“A-are you talking to m-me?!” She spluttered, offended and…yeah, Kokichi ignored her reaction and bounded up to her.
“You had some nerve planning to kill me. But I don’t blame you for choosing me—out of everyone, I was the best choice. But I had a job to do…” Kokichi trailed off, purple eyes rolling to inspect the ceiling. He continued before Miu could say anything, “I hope you know I never hated you either! Sure you were annoying sometimes but you were also funny, and smart. At least when it came to your inventions. You’re the one who made my plan possible in the first place! Those electro-bombs and hammers were extreeemly important. So…thank you, Miu.”
“What the fuck is your insane ass blabbering about?!”
Kokichi turned around and didn’t even bother listening to her response. He sighed in relief—pouring his heart out really did release some tension. He felt ready to disappear for good, ready to say goodbye.
He waited for the dark to envelop him once more.
It didn’t.
“…Uhm, I’m ready now?” Kokichi called to—the universe, God, or whatever was listening and continued to wait for this dream to pass. Again, it didn’t.
His shoulders sagged in disappointment. His eyes gained purchase on Shuichi and Kaede, who were now talking to Miu. Shuichi was inspecting one of the shelves, seemingly done with the conversation as Kaede continued speaking. His eyes stayed on the detective, staring at the back of his head.
Maybe…he wasn’t ready to say goodbye, not quite yet.
He approached Shuichi from behind, quiet. He sidled up next to him, his sudden appearance startling the detective. “A-ah! Oh…it’s you. You startled me.”
Kokichi smiled. “Hey, Shuichi.”
“…Hi..?”
“I admire you a lot, you know. Which is a high compliment! It takes a lot to impress me! But you truly are…a lot. And it hurt to see the hatred in your eyes, directed straight at me,” Kokichi continued to smile despite the aching in his chest, “But it was exactly what I wanted. And I can only hope you continue to do what I want and you go along with my plan when you realize it. I can’t hope that you’ll be fooled—you’re far too smart for that. But maybe you’ll understand what I was trying to do. And selfishly…I hope you’ll understand why I did everything I did, too.”
His voice was quiet towards the end as he spoke. Shuichi’s eyebrows were furrowed when he finally looked up enough for Kokichi to lock eyes with him, confused just like Kokichi knew he’d be. “Don’t say anything. I know you don’t understand.” He interrupted when Shuichi went to open his mouth, causing him to falter.
Kokichi reached out suddenly and plucked the hat off his head, Shuichi making a noise of surprise and immediately trying to grab the hat back. Kokichi jumped away and placed the hat behind his back, effectively stopping Shuichi from grabbing it. He wanted one last look at the Shuichi he came to know before he disappeared for good.
“You really do look better with your hat off.” Kokichi commented fondly, causing Shuichi to pause, blush slightly, and put his head down, letting his bangs fall over his eyes.
“Ah…c-can I please have my hat back?” He put his hand out, beckoning for his hat. Kokichi sighed and gave him the cap, watching as he immediately rushed to put it back on.
By this point, Kokichi thought the dream would finally fade to black. But yet again—it didn’t.
Instead, the bell rang, and then the monitor cut on to show those god-awful monokubs that made Kokichi audibly groan. Now why the hell did he have to live through THIS again?
That was the only thing going through his mind as they met in the gym, as instructed, and he watched the monokubs argue in the exisals with a blank expression. He didn’t understand. He thought he’d pass on when he was ready to, but he was more than ready to now, and there was no sign of him transcending the mortal plane.
Would he be trapped in his own mind forever? That’d be horrific. Would he be forced to live this killing game over and over again? He really was in hell if that was the case.
Monokuma revealed himself, just as anticlimactic as Kokichi remembered, and his irritation grew at that annoyingly high voice. The monochromatic bear seemingly teleported in the center of the gym to speak to them, raising Kokichi’s suspicions once again at how the Monokubs and Monokuma could somehow materialize out of thin air when that was objectively impossible.
He stared down at him, glowering. A sudden and intense violent anger rushed through Kokichi and a brilliant idea came to his mind. An amazing way to vent out the anger he had at Monokuma and the killing game and this pussy ass mastermind. This was his dream anyway, he was allowed to do what he wanted!
So, he geared up, and then kicked Monokuma as hard as he could, interrupting the robot’s spiel about the killing game and sending him flying across the gym. Monokuma hit the wall with a loud, clamoring bang and his head broke off from the impact. Everyone gasped at his actions, but all he did was laugh loudly at how truly satisfying that was.
“That felt even better than I imagined!” Kokichi announced happily, twirling around to face the others.
“Gasp! Daddy!!” Monophanie exclaimed from inside her exisal, voice muffled coming out of the microphone.
“Did you just say gasp?” Monosuke questioned judgingly, but was quickly interrupted by Monokid.
“Why the fuck does that matter?! That bastard just killed Papakuma!!” He cried, the exisal letting out a mechanical whirring sound as the gun arm lifted and pointed at Kokichi. “He must be punished!!”
Kokichi felt his heart rate speed up but quickly reassured himself that he was already dead, so there was nothing to worry about. He couldn’t die twice…and considering this was his dream, and he was conscious of it, he could probably just prevent himself from dying!
Apparently not, as Monodam’s exisal came closer faster than the speed of light and the foot appeared above Kokichi’s head. He stared up at the metal as it rapidly came down, much faster than the press did but still reminiscent of the moment, and flattened Kokichi for the second time in mere hours.
He was finally shrouded in darkness again, senses devoid of any input. He was surprised and a little pissed at getting pancaked by an annoying ass Monokub, but relief still encompassed him. His soul could finally rest. Peace was his at last!
But nothing was ever that simple was it? Because suddenly, air filled his lungs as he gasped awake, eyes shooting open. It was still dark, so he put his hands out to feel his surroundings and knocked his knuckles into cold metal.
No…
With a shaky exhale, he moved his hands up the inside of the door, fumbling blindly for the latch. Once he found it, he unlocked the locker from the inside and pushed it open, stepping into the classroom. The locker next to him paralleled his actions, revealing a disoriented Kiibo next to him…again. They woke up stuffed into a locker side by side for the THIRD time.
Kokichi resisted the urge to scream.