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Hasegawa has always been lonely. It was something he's grown accustomed to, something he's grown to become one with. It was a state that was expected to come with being immortal because no friends you make ever live long enough for you. Loneliness was a taste that Hasegawa has grown familiar with. He's never had friends even before becoming a vampire, the sad life of immortality only extending from his sad life as a mortal. He never wanted friends anyway, he didn't have the time.
They would all die eventually, is what he assumes at least. He's seen it happen a few times to his sister, friends she would gain from college would slowly die from various reasons as the decades went by. Time became something that was meaningless and slow, not worth the energy to keep up with anymore. But every call was just as devastating as the last for Mao and Hasegawa never wanted to experience that himself.
He was content living his life cooped up with his family, away from humans and away from society. A true hermit. But his sister hated the idea of that, she was always insistent on blending in and living life to the fullest. That was a sentiment Hasegawa would've agreed on before turning into vampires but now it seemed useless. They lived practically forever, they didn't need to live their lives to the fullest. He knows he sure didn't.
But she was his sister and he couldn't refuse her. She always found some way to force him into doing whatever she wanted from him anyway. He wouldn't have been able to escape it even if he refused her. And that's how he found himself doing odd late night jobs, going on quiz shows and talk shows. And while it brought money in, he was still lonely. He was always so lonely. Seeing all the people watch him while he put on a mask for the cameras just made the ache hurt more.
But Mao was happy and for a bit so was Hasegawa. Or at least he thought he was. Happiness was something he didn't think he actually knew the feeling of. How does one know when they're truly happy? Would he even know?
It seemed like such a foreign concept to him until Hasegawa met him. The one person who has found a way to fill Hasegawa's loneliness somehow. The one person who made him want to actually live his life instead of letting it pass him by. The one person who made him want to try to be a person for the first time since he's turned.
Their first meeting was brief, a small crash that happened while Hasegawa was taking his usual nightly strolls. It was something he did after shows to clear his mind, feeling the calmest at night when the streets were mostly empty and the sun wasn't around to make his skin feel prickly. It was nice, it was quiet, it was lonely.
Well, it usually was. But Hasegawa hadn't been paying attention to where he was walking, his head in the clouds. He was moving on autopilot that night, letting his feet take him wherever they wanted. He wasn't expecting to run into anyone else that night, the streets and sidewalks were barren. So the first thing he felt was the ground against his palms and the searing pain that coursed through his hip as he landed. The next thing he felt was the weight of another person half laying against his torso, groaning and cursing under his breath.
Hasegawa froze instantly, not wanting to disturb the other person. He watched him get up almost mechanically, breath held like any sudden movement would scare him away. The other person was gorgeous. Vibrant blue hair and bright red eyes pulling Hasegawa in almost instantly. He was lost in the other person's presence, completely forgetting he was even on the floor. If he did need it he knew he would've forgotten how to breathe too.
"Fuck, sorry. You okay?" The other was speaking to him. Speaking to Hasegawa. It made him a little dizzy. So dizzy he forgot to respond apparently, earning a puzzled look from the other as he looked down at him. "Do you need help getting up or something?"
Hasegawa yelps, shaking his head and jumping up on his feet. "N-No! I'm good, I'm fine. Are you okay?" He dusted himself off, realizing now that he was practically towering over the other. It made a primal part of him a little crazy.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry for running into you like that. I wasn't expecting anyone else to be out here," The blue haired boy sighed, looking away as he twirled a long piece of front hair between his fingers. He seemed nervous to Hasegawa —dejected— but the brunette didn't want to pry. Anyone who was running that fast in the middle of the night was probably trying to get away from something. He wondered what was troubling him.
"I get it… I wasn't expecting anyone else out here either, but um! Don't worry! I'm perfectly okay, as long as you are." Hasegawa offers the other a small smile, "Do you, um, do you need help?"
The other looked at him with a quirked eyebrow, confusion written on his face for a brief moment. Then realization hit him and his expression smoothed over, turning his head to look behind him before looking back at Hasegawa and nodding.
"Could you walk me home?" He asked and Hasegawa was ecstatic. He nodded quickly and the other lead him towards the way of his home. While the two walked, they talked quietly and learned more about each other. Hasegawa learned that his name was Kamimura Kazutoshi and that he was the same age as Hasegawa. And as the shock of the crash wore off, Hasegawa realized just how good Kamimura smelled.
Whatever perfume he used filled Hasegawa's senses and held onto him like a tight hug but under that scent was one Hasegawa was much more interested in. He could smell the sweetness of his blood coursing through the bluenette's veins. It made Hasegawa so hungry, so interested in getting a taste. That night he had briefly considered jumping Kamimura and taking his fill, they were alone and he seemed like an easy target.
But he would feel bad. This was the first person he's spoken to that wasn't Mao or anyone involved in the quiz shows he went on. He didn't want Kamimura to disappear like that especially not by his hands. So he let the other live and soon enough they grew a routine of nightly visits.
They went on for days, then days turned into weeks and weeks into months. They grew more and more close as the days went by and soon Hasegawa found himself growing fond for the other. Fonder than one would feel for a friend. A small crush, a first for Hasegawa. And it devastated him immensely.
This was the worst scenario that could ever happen to him. It was one thing to have a friend he knew was going to die eventually, that was the inevitable that he was prepared for. But a crush? He didn't think he was capable of that with how long he's spent alone. There was no way the two could ever be together comfortably. Pushing aside the doubts and insecurities Hasegawa had that Kamimura would ever feel the same for him, he was a vampire. He would outlive Kamimura. That was the inevitable.
Even if the cleaner reciprocated his feelings, he couldn't tell Kamimura he was a vampire. He would have to lie for the entirety of the relationship and then watch Kamimura die before him, if he doesn't break up with Hasegawa before then. But if the two never got together, Hasegawa would have to spend his life watching Kamimura find another to fall in love with and get married to and build a future with. And just the thought of that made Hasegawa sick.
But he couldn't tell Kamimura. He didn't want to. Whatever they had now was good enough for him. This was the first time he's felt alive since being turned, he couldn't ruin that with his secret. He was scared of how Kamimura would react if he knew. So they played this weird song and dance, where Hasegawa tried his best to hide his vampirism from Kamimura and the other grew more and more suspicious as time went on.
It was growing unbearable to Hasegawa. It made him feel guilty every time he saw Kamimura, the weight of his secret holding him down the longer he spent with the boy. It was eating him from the inside out, twisting his stomach in ways he hated. But he couldn't make it stop. He couldn't risk spilling the truth. Everything would crumble before him if he did that. He's kept the lie up for so long now that there's no doubt Kamimura would hate his guts and never want to see him again. He would be ruined.
But Hasegawa couldn't hold it in anymore. He couldn't hide it within himself from everyone around him that easily. His sister could tell something was up, she knew him better than anyone. She could sense something was wrong, especially when it began bleeding into his performances.
She brought it up after a show as they were heading back home, eyes forward on the road. Hasegawa was silent the entire ride, lost in his own thoughts, before she had brought it up. The suddenly topic shocked him out his thinking, causing him to fidget in the passenger seat. He didn't want to talk about this. He wasn't prepared to be questioned.
"Hey, you okay?" Mao asked, looking over at him through her peripherals. "You did great today but you seem… I don't know? A little distracted maybe?" She taps the steering wheel as she speaks and Hasegawa counts the sounds in his head to calm his breathing. "If something happened you know you can tell me right?"
"Y-Yeah…" Hasegawa affirms, refusing to look over at her. "Nothing happened…"
"You sure?" Mao reaches over to give his thigh a reassuring squeeze, "I won't judge you if you tell me. It's not healthy to hold it all in like that,"
Hasegawa sighs, biting his lip. He appreciated her concern but he didn't want to get into it, he really wanted to take this secret with him to his grave. Or to Kamimura's grave. But he couldn't hide it from Mao forever. She was stubborn and stuck with him forever, she was going to pull it out of him eventually. Might as well get it over with now before she starts pulling teeth out.
"I—" He starts before he frowns, readjusting the words in his head. "You know Kazutoshi…?"
"Course I do! That's your new little friend, right? What about him?" Mao asks, her hand now back on the steering wheel. "Don't tell me, did you two have a fight or something?"
Hasegawa shakes his head quickly. "No! No, we're—we're fine. I just—" He hesitates. This was a lot harder than he thought it would be. He's never had to properly vocalize his feelings before. "I just realized I might… Like him… More than I should…"
There was a beat of silence. The words settled into the air as they left Hasegawa's lips like a weight leaving his shoulders. It felt kind of nice being able to tell another person about his feelings. Now he didn't have to be the only one to shoulder such a burden.
He looked over at Mao to see her thinking, her face neutral. She stayed silent for a long time and Hasegawa didn't dare to continue talking. By the time she said something, they were pulling into the driveway of their house. Mao parks the car and turns it off, turning her body to look over at Hasegawa. The sudden eye contact startled him and he looked away.
"Does he know?" Mao asked, her face still neutral.
"About my feelings? No, I wasn't planning on telling him…" Hasegawa fiddled with his shirt sleeve nervously.
"No I mean—" Mao waves her hand and Hasegawa frowns. She meant the other thing. His stupid freak nature.
Hasegawa shakes his head, "He doesn't know about that either."
Mao sighs, turning forward to lay her forehead against the top of the wheel. "Okay, okay, that's fine." She wasn't mad, Hasegawa knew that much. But her reaction confused him a bit more than it should. He was expecting her to be excited, to be happy for him. She was when he had first told her about Kamimura. She was even happier when she actually got to meet him for the first time. But this was new, this was a little weird.
Hasegawa wasn't sure what to do with this.
"Do you want to tell him?" Mao asks, turning her head to look at Hasegawa again. "I mean, you totally can. There's no harm in it, you two are close enough."
Dread washed over him almost instantly. "N-No! No, no, no, I don't want to. I-I can't! He'll hate me if I did,"
"I feel like that's a bit dramatic, Ken." Mao gives him a look, "He probably has some inkling anyway. I mean, you two only ever hang out at night. That's probably really weird to him,"
"That's perfectly normal and not suspicious at all!" Hasegawa defended immediately. "It's just easier if he didn't know."
"Oh is it?" Mao challenged, "Because it doesn't look easier. You look like you want to throw up right now." She sits up, pulling the keys out of the ignition. "Think about it a little, okay? And if you still don't want to tell him then you don't have to, but I think it would smart to. If you two are as close as I think you are he should be okay with it." She gives him a reassuring pat on the shoulder before moving to get out the car.
Hasegawa takes a deep breath in before exhaling slowly. He didn't want to tell Kamimura. But Mao was right, she always was. He never knew the right thing to do in situations like this, in stressful situations he always seemed to get himself into. He always messed things up, always picked the wrong option when given the choice. This was why Mao was so helpful and why he relied on her so heavily. She always knew what to do.
He knew eventually the secret would slip out and the thought of Kamimura finding out in any way other than from himself made him ache. He knew it would look way worse for him if he wasn't the one coming clean first. So he knew Mao was right, even if he didn't want to admit it. She was right and he had to suck it up.
But to come clean about one secret would mean coming clean about another and he wasn't sure he was ready to confess yet. Or ever. But he wanted to, he wished he could so bad. He laid awake most nights fantasizing about Kamimura. The way he smelled, the way he would feel, the way he would sound. He wanted every piece of Kamimura he could have, any piece the boy was willing to give up. He wanted to have a taste of him more than anything.
He wanted to feed off of Kamimura. It was the first time he's ever desired anything as much as he did now. The first time he's wanted to tear into something like a beast. Before this point, feeding was just something he knew he had to do to survive. It was just something he felt indifferent towards. Blood was blood, that was all it was. It wasn't something he ever thought about or even desired. When he was hungry, he ate. When he wasn't hungry, he didn't eat. It was as simple as that.
But Kamimura made him feel all kinds of new things. New things he couldn't control. He wanted Kamimura for himself, but he couldn't necessarily ask Kamimura if he could feed off of him. There was no casual way of asking that. Just the thought made him too embarrassed. But he knew he was in trouble. The more the two spent time together, the more his hunger grew.
He was obsessed with Kamimura and everything about him. He wanted him so bad.
Which is why it was a miracle Hasegawa was keeping most of his self restraint in tact right now. He had no idea how he found himself in this position to begin with.
A few nights after his conversation with Mao, he decided he was going to come clean to Kamimura. They had a hang out scheduled at the end of the week and Mao would be busy so they had the house to themselves. It was the perfect set up. Except Hasegawa hadn't accounted for Kamimura being the one to make the first move at all.
After a few hours of hanging out, the cleaner had metaphorically cornered him. He pounced, straddling Hasegawa to trap him against his bed as he hovered above him with a tight expression on his face. He looked angry and it would've had the intended effect if Hasegawa wasn't so hyper aware of where the other's knees were on either side of him. The small contact they made with his hips sent shocks through him every time and he had to fight the urges to shiver.
"You," Kamimura jabbed a finger into Hasegawa's chest, "What's wrong with you?"
Hasegawa was speechless. His entire body felt electrified, the place where Kamimura's finger previously was felt like it was on fire. He couldn't focus on what Kamimura was saying at all, he probably looked so stupid. Kamimura was looking down at him with such fury Hasegawa felt dizzy, his head swam in all kinds of directions. He opened his mouth to speak before closing it again, Kamimura moving to speak instead.
"You've been acting weird," He accuses, continuing his finger jabbing.
"I-I have no idea what you're talking about." Hasegawa swallows nervously, "I'm being so normal." This was the most abnormal Hasegawa has ever felt.
Kamimura narrows his eyes at the brunette, "You say that but you're nervous as fuck right now. You're definitely hiding something."
Hasegawa chokes on his own spit, "I'm not hiding anything!" His voice cracks in his haste to defend himself, causing Kamimura to raise an eyebrow. He clears his throat and looks away to pay attention to the walls of his room. His face felt so warm, his entire body did. God, he needed to move so bad. "I'm nervous because y-you're… On top of me…"
Kamimura looks down at where he was hovering Hasegawa's lap before looking back at his face. He makes no attempt at moving, only tilting his head. "So I am. It's to make sure you don't run away from me."
"I won't run!"
"Like I believe that." Kamimura shifts to tighten his legs slightly, making Hasegawa yelp in surprise. "I know you, Ken. You look five seconds away from booking it and I can't have that."
"But I'm not hiding anything, I swear." Hasegawa whines, moving to grab Kamimura's waist to push him off. The moment his hands make contact with the other's waist though he freezes. This was one of his worst ideas yet.
"Okay, then why do we only ever hang out at night?" Kamimura moves to sit on the brunette's knees, further trapping his legs.
"Um—" Hasegawa was practically drenched in sweat, he could feel it in his shirt. All he could smell was Kamimura, all he could feel was Kamimura, and he was driving him insane. It didn't help that Kamimura had his neck fully exposed for him, left in the open just waiting for teeth to puncture the side. Hasegawa's gums ached with the want to let his fangs retract.
He promised himself he would tell though. He can't back out now. This was the only time he'll ever get to confessing, to having the chance to come clean. If he stalls any longer, Kamimura might hate him forever.
What's the worse that could happen?
"Okay, okay fine." Hasegawa moves to let go on the other and prop himself on his elbows to better look at Kamimura. "I'm—"
Kamimura nods, encouraging the brunette to continue. He looked so sincere, his previous fury filled gaze no longer there. He looked genuinely curious and it helped ease Hasegawa's worries just a bit.
"I'm a vampire…" Hasegawa mumbles, eyes trailing away from the bluenette. There was a pause in the air, silence hanging over them. But it wasn't awkward silence. It just felt still, normal. Despite this though, Hasegawa still felt nervous. He felt like knives were stabbing into him slowly bit by bit. He wanted Kamimura to say something already.
"Wait, for real?" The other asks, clearly dumbfounded. "Like the blood sucking kind?"
"Is there a different kind?" Hasegawa questions, looking at him with knitted brows. The look earns a laugh from Kamimura and the tension in Hasegawa's body melts away. He'll never grow tired of that sound.
"I guess not," Kamimura says in between laughs, "But you're being serious? That's all it was?"
"What do you mean, 'all it was'? You aren't, like, scared or something?" Hasegawa wasn't sure how to react. Kamimura was taking this a lot easier than he expected, almost too easy. There had to be a shoe about to drop, there always was.
"Scared? Of you?" Kamimura moves slightly forward to sit directly in Hasegawa's lap instead of on his knees. "No offense, Ken, but you're harmless. I'd be more scared of a fly."
Hasegawa was too focused on the sudden new weight distribution to register the dig at him. "I-I guess…"
"If that's all it was, you could've told me. I don't care," Kamimura twirls one of his long front hair pieces. "I thought you were just embarrassed to be seen with me or something."
Hasegawa jumps to sit up, startling Kamimura to fall closer to him. Hasegawa grips him by the shoulders and frowns, "No, never! I could never be embarrassed to be seen with you! The sun is just bad for me…"
Kamimura nods, raising his hands to place on Hasegawa's chest to create a bit of distance between the two. "Yeah, I… I got that now."
Hasegawa lets go of the other's shoulders and leans back again, sighing softly. The two fall into a comfortable silence, Kamimura looking over at the posters on Hasegawa's walls. He looked like he wanted to say something but he hesitated. Hasegawa watched as he chewed on his bottom lip in thought, contemplating. The brunette waited for him to gain the courage to say it, he didn't want to add any pressure to the other in case it was something embarrassing.
"Can—" Kamimura starts but then stops himself. "Never mind, it's probably weird to ask."
"No, no! Whatever it is I'm sure it's fine." Hasegawa reassures him.
Kamimura looks at him before sighing and looking away again. "Can I see your fangs?"
"Uh—" Hasegawa flushes, avoiding the other's gaze. "Uh, y-yeah! Yeah, that's—um—that's fine." He adjusts the two of them so they were properly facing each other and opens his mouth wide enough for the other to peek inside. It felt a bit awkward having his crush practically in his mouth but he tried to ignore the feeling. He tried to relax enough to let his teeth come out, the dull ache of his gums slowly subsiding to make room for the dull pull of his teeth.
They came out slowly, Hasegawa made sure they did to avoid startling them both. He didn't want to scare Kamimura away even if he said himself he wasn't. This was the moment of truth. He had to control his urges, even though they were screaming at him right now. He wanted to bite Kamimura. He wanted to so bad. He was right there in his lap, Hasegawa could smell him so vividly. It made his core twist with desire.
Kamimura watched in awe as the fangs settled in Hasegawa's mouth, leaning closer to poke the ends of them. He pricks his finger against the end of one of them and pulls back with a small hiss. Hasegawa immediately closes his mouth to look at him in panic, watching as Kamimura places the finger in his mouth to suck on the blood. He shakes his head and holds his uninjured hand up in front of him.
"I'm fine, I'm fine. It was a small prick," Kamimura takes the finger out of his mouth to show Hasegawa. It was small, the blood beading into a perfect bubble around the wound. It made Hasegawa twitch, watching it sit on the tip of Kamimura's finger bed. The other catches onto his staring and tilts his head, slowly moving the finger closer to Hasegawa as if to encourage him.
The brunette looks over at him in surprise and Kamimura nods, not moving his hand away. Hasegawa swallows and leans forward, slowly opening his mouth to let the finger in. He gently laps at the wound, his eye twitching. Kamimura tasted just as sweet as he smelled. This was better than anything Hasegawa had fantasized about. He wanted more. He wanted so much more.
After a few minutes, Kamimura pulls away. Hasegawa wasn't expecting the gesture and subconsciously leaned forward to follow the finger before he catches himself. He coughs and looks away with a blush, hoping that Kamimura wouldn't call attention to what he just did. He felt pathetic and desperate, like a dog waiting to be fed. It was pitiful.
"You know…" Kamimura starts, wiping his finger on his pants. "If you wanted to, you could—you know." He gestures to his neck.
Hasegawa stares at him with wide eyes. What? There was no way Kamimura just said what Hasegawa thinks he just said. He must of heard him wrong.
"I could what?" Hasegawa asks.
Kamimura frowns at him, "Don't act stupid. I know you know what I mean."
Hasegawa felt like he might faint. This can't be happening. This really can not be happening. There was no way Kamimura was serious. This had to be some elaborate joke where Kamimura will laugh and say 'gotcha!' and then Hasegawa would feel like an idiot for falling for it. Hasegawa waited for it to come but it never did, Kamimura staring at him with the same determined look on his face.
Oh.
He was serious.
Fuck, he was so serious.
"O-Okay…" Hasegawa's hands were trembling. He moves to sit up again, placing his hands around Kamimura's waist slowly. "Just—Just so you know, it's going to be a little painful… Try not to move too much, okay?" He pulls the other closer and licks his lips, eyes trained on the space between Kamimura's shoulder blade and his nape.
Kamimura lets out a shuddered breath, nodding slowly. "Y-Yeah, I got it. I'll be okay." He moves to gripe onto the sides of Hasegawa's shirt with trembling fingers, letting the brunette move to adjust his head position. The head tilt opened up more space and Hasegawa leaned forward, taking a large inhale of the other's scent. It makes Kamimura shiver and flush, but he doesn't move to pull away.
"Are you sure about this?" Hasegawa asks just to clarify. Kamimura nods, tightening his grip on his shirt. That was all Hasegawa needed before he moves forward, plunging his fangs into the other's neck.
Kamimura lets out a small noise, moving his hands to grip the back on Hasegawa's shirt instead. The brunette takes it as encouragement, leaning closer to dig his fangs in deeper. Blood drips into his mouth as he laps it up eagerly, inhaling through his nose as he drinks. He felt exhilarated, his entire body on fire. Everything was so strong, so sweet, filling him in ways no other blood ever did. He felt like he was in heaven, holding Kamimura in place under him.
This was where he was meant to be. This was where he belonged.
On the other hand, Kamimura felt dizzy. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as his head lolled to the side, letting Hasegawa take as much of him as he wanted. He felt like a blood bag being used as nothing but food. He could feel the blood drained out of him, could feel the sharp pain of where Hasegawa's fangs entered past his skin. It was all so intoxicating to him. He was nothing but Hasegawa's prey.
This continued on for a bit, Hasegawa growing increasingly more greedy. The longer Hasegawa drank, the more Kamimura grew weak. His fingers twitched and slowly start letting go of the brunette's shirt. He makes a weak noise, a small groan, to try and get Hasegawa's attention before his whole body grows limp. Hasegawa pulls away slowly, breathing heavily as he looks down at Kamimura with half lidded eyes. His mouth was stained with blood and so was the cleaner's neck, Hasegawa moving to lick any remaining beads clean.
"Kazutoshi…?" Hasegawa calls, licking his lips. The other doesn't respond, breathing slow and eyes closed. Panic starts to settle within Hasegawa and he moves to gently lay Kamimura on his bed. Once the other was comfortable, he gets up to wash his face and get some cloth rags to clean Kamimura off.
He definitely overdid it and now Kamimura was out cold. He felt terrible even though deep inside of him felt warm and full. He felt almost giddy, now that he was one with Kamimura. Now that he got what he wanted.
He hoped Kamimura wouldn't hate him when he woke up.
Hasegawa came back freshly cleaned and began wiping the other's neck down gently. The movement helped his mind from straying. Kamimura looked so beautiful like this, it was the only thing Hasegawa could focus on. He felt like the luckiest man right now.
Right as Hasegawa finished, Kamimura began waking up. His eyes fluttered slowly as they adjusted to seeing again, moving to look over at Hasegawa. The brunette smiled softly at the other, waiting patiently for him to fully gain consciousness. Kamimura slowly sits up with Hasegawa's help, touching the bandage on his neck.
"You finished?" He asked, looking over at Hasegawa.
The brunette nods sheepishly, "Yeah… Sorry I got a little carried away there… I didn't mean for you to faint."
"It's fine…" Kamimura looks down at his lap, "It felt… Weird."
"Did it?" Hasegawa tilts his head.
"Weird, but nice. You smell good," Kamimura flushes softly as he fiddles with his fingers. Hasegawa stares at him with wide eyes, a blooming blush growing across his face. God, he loved this guy so much.
"What."
"Huh?"
Kamimura snaps his head up to meet Hasegawa's bewildered stare. Both were wide eyed and flushed red, Kamimura's eyes glazed over a little. His heart was pounding in his chest and he opened his mouth to say something.
"You—" He starts, knitting his eyebrows together. "You just said you loved me."
"I did?" Hasegawa stares at him in horror. He must of said that thought out loud by mistake. Oh god, Kamimura was sure going to hate him now. He was so done for, this was it. This was their last hang out forever now. He was going to go back to being the same lonely hermit he was before. He couldn't take that, he didn't want that life anymore.
Kamimura surges forward, leaning in close to Hasegawa with a hard stare. "Did you mean it?"
"I-I — Uh — I mean —" Hasegawa stumbled, trying to lean back and away from Kamimura.
"Did you mean it, Ken?" Kamimura pressed.
"Y-Yeah… I did…" Hasegawa sighs, closing his eyes to move his head down in shame. Kamimura doesn't say anything for a long time and Hasegawa moves to open his eyes to see if he was still there. Just as he tries, Kamimura surges forward and crashes their lips together in a messy kiss. The action catches Hasegawa off guard and his eyes shoot open as he panics, grabbing a hold of Kamimura's arms. He doesn't pull away or even pull Kamimura away despite how clumsy the kiss is. He simply closes his eyes again and pushes forward, kissing Kamimura with the same amount of desire in return.
Kamimura responds in kind, moving to wrap his arms around Hasegawa's shoulders. The two kiss slow and deep, savoring the taste of each other as much as they could. Hasegawa grips Kamimura for dear life, to keep him grounded. He needed a reminder this was real, that this was really happening. His head was doing all kinds of backflips with itself and it was making it hard to think straight. Adrenaline was pumping through his entire being causing him to become shaky and desperate. He wanted more of Kamimura even now despite getting so much already.
He was greedy and selfish. All he could think about was himself and how much he wanted to become a part of Kamimura. He wanted to devour every part of Kamimura he could reach, every part he could take, every part he could feel. It was exhilarating and he couldn't get enough.
Eventually, Kamimura pulls away to breathe and try to calm his racing heart. He didn't want to pass out again. He was already super embarrassed from passing out while Hasegawa fed off him. He takes a moment, panting softly as he looks at Hasegawa with half lidded eyes. The brunette was staring at him with an expression Kamimura has never seen before and it made him feel small, helpless.
"Are you okay?" Hasegawa asks, his voice almost a whisper. It takes a moment for Kamimura to process the question but he nods slowly, moving to sit in Hasegawa's lap again. He lays his head against the brunette's shoulder and closes his eyes, letting out a small sigh.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just need a second to calm down," He pats Hasegawa on the back lightly, reassuringly. "Give me a second."
Hasegawa nods frantically, "Yeah! Yeah, I can do that. Take your time," He wraps his arms around the other protectively and lets silence envelope them. He watches as Kamimura steadies his breathing, counting the intervals between each exhale. He watches the steady rise and fall of the cleaner's chest, enjoying the warmth that emits off of him. Kamimura was alive against him and he was real. Hasegawa couldn't believe it.
The two stay like that for a while, just enjoying each other's company. After a few minutes of silence, Hasegawa realizes Kamimura has fallen asleep against him. It makes him almost giddy and he has to resist the urge to squeeze Kamimura closer.
He settles for just adjusting himself to make sure they were both comfortable and let him sleep. It was probably late and the other needed the sleep more than he did. He could sit here in silence for as long as Kamimura ever wanted him to. It was much better than spending his time sitting in silence alone. He would prefer this over that any day.
He just hoped Mao didn't come home and found him like this.