Chapter Text
November 8, 2025
Inias had slipped his wallet into his back pocket. Grabbed his keys and headed to the door.
“I want to talk tonight.” Inias stopped. His hand was on the doorknob. He looked over his shoulder and saw Castiel, his husband, sitting on the couch.
God, he still took Inias's breath away. Beautiful didn't do Cas justice.
Dark chocolate brown hair, always messy, finger combed. Blue eyes. They were a bright, brilliant blue. Arresting. The first time they looked at him, Inias knew this was his future.
Right now, those eyes he loved so much were looking at him with sadness.
He knew what Cas wanted to talk about. Internally sighing, he nodded at him.
“I'll be home a little after six. Love you.” He said as he headed off to work.
Standing in the kitchen after work, Cas contemplated his life. He was happy. He really was. He and Inias had been married for ten years. He loved his husband, and his husband loved him. They both had rewarding careers. Inias was a police officer with the local force, and Cas was a 3rd grade teacher. They owned their home. They went on trips every year. They didn’t argue or fight, or at least rarely.
Well… they did fight about one thing. Cas wanted kids. Inias wasn’t sure. Or at least, that was what he said when Cas had brought up the idea of adoption a few years ago.
When they started dating, Inias had said he wanted children. He ticked all of Cas’ boxes. He was good-looking, kind, brave, and family-oriented—the perfect match for Castiel. While Castiel always wanted to have a career teaching, he also wanted to get married and start a family, just as much, if not more so.
Castiel had been in his final year of college, finishing his teaching degree, and Inias was a local police officer when they met. He was 30, and Cas was 23. He had swept Castiel off his feet. Castiel envisioned spending the rest of his life with Inias. He could see his life mapped out: marriage, teaching for a few years, raising kids.
They had a whirlwind romance. They were married after dating for less than a year. Inias made Cas feel safe and loved. So, after graduation, they decided to move back to Castiel’s hometown, Sturgeon Bay, in Wisconsin. It was the perfect place to raise a family and have his dreams come true.
But right now, Castiel was exhausted. He felt tired and heavy. It was hard to explain, but he knew that this was going to be a turning point in his life. Castiel wanted children. And he wanted them while he was still young enough to enjoy life with them. Running, playing, middle of the night crying; every up and down that came with being a parent. Inias was turning 40 this year. Castiel knew if he couldn’t convince him to start looking into surrogacy or adoption soon, it wouldn’t happen. He had told Inias that he wanted to talk tonight after his shift. And by the look on his face, Inias knew what they would be discussing. Cas was gearing up for another emotional conversation with Inias.
Cas knew he should be satisfied with the life that he and Inias had built, but he wanted children. He couldn’t ignore the ache he felt when he saw a couple with a child. He wanted that. But he wasn’t sure if pushing would ruin their marriage. He wanted children, but he also wanted Inias to want children, too.
Sighing, he turned the oven on to get dinner started.
While the casserole was cooking, he decided to grade some papers. Grabbing his bag, he sat down and got started.
The timer going off jolted Cas. He pulled the casserole out of the oven and set it aside. He pulled out the salad fixings and looked at the clock. It was almost 6:30. Frowning, he pulled out his phone to see if he had missed a text. Seeing nothing, he quickly typed a message.
Cas - Will you be home soon? Dinner is ready.
Cas didn’t want to eat alone, so he made a cup of tea and went to the living room to wait.
Dean looked at his watch, almost 6 pm, and did an internal fist pump. Anticipation swirled in his stomach. He was looking forward to tonight. He had a date with Lisa.
Preparing to turn the cruiser in the direction of the station, he glanced at his partner, Inias. “Any plans for the night?” Dean asked.
Inias sighed. He looked at Dean, and for a moment, he wished they could trade places. Dean was 24, and at this moment, Inias felt 100 years old. “Nah, just dinner with Cas,” he replied. His tone made Dean side-eye him.
Without taking his eyes off the road, Dean said, “The tone of your voice suggests you would rather be anywhere else except home with Cas. And knowing how much you love that nerdy little guy, I know I’m misreading the situation. Talk to me.”
Inias wonders what Dean would say if he told him. Would he side with Cas? Inias knows that Dean is a family man through and through. He helped raise his brother.
Biting the bullet, Inias decides he will be honest. “Cas wants kids.” He said flatly.
Dean’s eyebrows rose, genuine surprise flickering across his face. As a teacher, Dean wasn't too terribly surprised that Cas wanted kids. His thoughts drifted back to when he met Cas for the first time. Cas was married. Fairly young. He was quiet and gentle, with a steady calm that made everyone comfortable. Luminous, his mind (un)helpfully provided.
Shaking off thoughts he shouldn't be having, he noticed the light turned red, and Dean slowed to a stop.
“You don’t want kids?” Dean glanced over at him. “You’d make a great dad. Hell, you’ve been a great mentor to me.”
Inias exhaled slowly. “I always thought I wanted kids. I told Cas that when we first started dating. Honestly, I think that’s what pushed him into giving me a chance in the first place.”
He shook his head. “The longer I’ve been on the job, the more uncertain I become. There's so much danger out there. And I don’t know how to tell him.”
His mouth twisted. “It’s gonna break his heart.”
Dean didn’t get the chance to answer.
The radio crackled to life.
Apparently, some local high school kids had stolen a car and were joyriding. Shouldn’t take too long to round them up. Making eye contact with Inias, they silently agree to make one more call before heading in.
Dean had no idea this would be the call that would change his whole life.
The stolen car appeared out of thin air. Headlights were coming up way too fast.
By the way the car was fishtailing, Dean knew the kids were driving too fast and panicking. Dean had to jerk the wheel as the stolen car slid past, missing the police cruiser by mere inches.
“Fuck!” Dean started to swear. Tires lost traction.
Black ice.
Invisible.
Insidious.
Deadly.
The cruiser spun. Dean’s teeth rattled as the car came to a stop. For a moment, all he could hear was the ringing in his ears and the echo of tearing metal. Instinctively reaching for his shoulder, he pressed the orange button on his mic until it clicked.
Hands shaking, Dean started to take stock of his surroundings. He had bumped his head on his side window, but no blood. No double vision. He appeared to be ok.
Turning his head slightly, he looked at his partner and friend. Inias has his eyes closed. He was slumped against the door.
Dean can see blood on his jacket. Inias' breathing sounds loud in the otherwise quiet car. Wrong.
“Inias?” Dean rasped. “Inias, talk to me.”
Inias didn’t answer right away.
Dean tried again. “Inias?”
Slowly, he opened his eyes and blinked.
“Thank God,” Dean whispered. “Hey. Hey, stay with me, okay? Help’s coming. Dispatch is sending—”
“In the glove box,” Inias said faintly.
Dean froze. “What?”
Inias turned his head just enough to make eye contact. His eyes were clear and focused. It scared Dean. He felt his chest tighten in an inexplicable fear.
“Dean, I need my phone. It's in the glove box. You have to—Dean, listen to me.”
“You're gonna be fine,” Dean says as he places a hand on Inias’ arm. “Ambulance will be here – ” Dean stops talking when he hears Inias let out a soft, humorless breath.
“No.” His voice was soft. Certain. “I’m not.”
Dean shook his head hard. “You'll be fine.”
“Dean. I need you to tell Cas something.” Inias had weakly grabbed at Dean’s wrist.
Dean nodded quickly once.
“Anything. I promise.”
Pain flickered across Inias’ face. Dean couldn’t tell if it was from the accident or because of what he was saying.
“Tell him I was ready.” He tightened his grip on Dean’s wrist so hard that Dean winced from the pain of his blunt nails digging into his wrist. His voice was strained but no less commanding. “I wasn’t unwilling. I was a chicken shit. I was scared. I just didn’t know how to say that to him.”
Dean closes his eyes and, with a broken voice, says, “Inias—”
“I would’ve had kids,” Inias said, raw and unguarded. “The moment I saw him, that’s all I wanted, all I could see was that life. I wanted him. I wanted kids. All of it.” His eyes were glassy and unfocused now, but nothing could stop him from saying what needed to be said. “Tell him. Tell him I loved him. Tell him he was my everything. Tell him I was looking forward to what came next. Promise me, Dean.”
“I’ll tell him everything, ” Dean pleaded urgently. “I swear. I’ll tell him, but you need to fight. Don’t give up!”
Inias blinked his eyes slowly and sighed. He nodded his head once and tried to smile.
“Good,” he mumbled, slurring his words. “That’s… good.”
His hand slipped from Dean’s wrist.
“Inias?” Dean said, panic flooding in. “Stay with me a little longer, and you can tell Cas yourself. ”
But Inias’s eyes had already gone distant, fixed on something Dean couldn’t see. His chest rose once—then stopped.
Dean slammed his hand against the dashboard radio. “10-33,” he screamed into the radio, even as his voice cracked. “Officer down, Door com, officer down, please.”
Outside, snow begins to fall.
Castiel was jolted awake by the knocking on his front door. Looking around the room, he is disoriented for a moment. It was dark. He must have fallen asleep. Looking at his watch, he is surprised to see it is close to 9 p.m. Where was Inias? He thought as he got to his feet to answer the door.
Standing on his front step is Robert Singer, or Bobby to his friends. Bobby is the chief of police. Seeing him there sends a ball of dread straight to Cas’ stomach.
“Good evening, Bobby,” Cas says as he opens the door. “What can I do for you?”
Looking at Cas with soft, sad eyes, Bobby quietly says,” Let’s go inside, son.” Looking over Bobby's shoulder, Cas sees Pastor Jim standing there. Deep inside, he knows. And for the first time in his life, Cas has the urge to slam the door in someone’s face. As if by keeping them out, he could keep the terrible but inevitable news at bay.
Cas steps aside and lets Bobby and Pastor Jim in. Closing the door softly, he waves his hands at the couch and silently urges them to sit.
Bobby sits and looks down for a moment. Sighing, he looks up and says the one thing that Cas, as the husband of a police officer, had always feared he would hear.
“Castiel,” Bobby said quietly. He didn’t rush. He didn’t soften his voice like he would for a stranger. He had known Castiel his whole life. Watched him graduate, go away to college, and then return with a husband. He knew what Castiel needed. Looking into his eyes, Bobby starts talking.
“I’m very sorry to have to tell you this.”
He took a breath.
“Inias was involved in a serious car accident tonight while on duty.”
“Despite everything the medics did, he died at the scene.”
The words held so much weight that Castiel felt like he should be able to see them hanging in the air. He could feel his chest tighten.
“I’m so sorry.”
Castiel closed his eyes. It sounded like running water in his ears. He tuned the rest of the conversation out.
November 9, 2025
Cas felt like a thousand-pound anvil was sitting on his chest. Opening his eyes, he could see the sun streaming through the window. Only in winter could the sun shine bright enough to blind a man. Castiel did not want to get out of bed. Maybe if he stayed in bed, he could pretend last night had been a dream… or a nightmare.
He was an emotional wreck. His husband was dead. How was he supposed to get up and act like everything was normal? Act as if his life wasn't over, too?
Slowly, he rolled up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Rubbing his eyes, he knew he had to make some calls. But first: bathroom, then coffee.
Opening his bedroom door, he heard movement in the kitchen. Only one other person besides Inias had a house key, his brother Gabriel. Walking into the kitchen and seeing Gabriel was a surprise, but it really shouldn’t have been.
Small towns.
Everyone knew everyone else. Someone must have called Gabe and let him know what was going on.
Gabe must have sensed his presence because he looked over his shoulder and caught Castiel’s eyes. Gabe scanned Cas from head to toe. He knew that he would have to be Cas’ rock today. Castiel had always been the caretaker, but today, Gabe would step up. Cas was his baby brother. He wouldn't let him down.
“You should have called me last night, Cassie. I shouldn’t have heard about Inias from Sam Winchester. You know I would have come over right away.” Gabe said with his usual snark, though concern was lurking beneath it.
“How did Sam know?” Cas asked quietly, his voice is even deeper after all the crying last night.
“Sam was in my Mythology and Folklore class. He called me to ask how you were doing. Dean is his brother. You know, Inias’ partner?”
Castiel's brows furrowed for a moment. Dean Winchester. Of course. How could he have forgotten? He had been Sam's tutor in high school. Dean always walked home with him.
His husband had a close relationship with Dean. Inias had first met Dean when Dean was just in high school. Inias had been a part of the Sturgeon Bay Police Cadet program. Dean had shown an interest in law enforcement so Inias had taken Dean under his wing.
He wasn't a fan of Dean's father. He quickly realized that Bobby Singer was the only positive male role model for Dean and Sam. Inias had a few choice words to say about John Winchester. And none of them had been good.
Realizing Dean had been in the car as well, he looked sharply at Gabriel. “How is Dean? He’s not injured, is he?”
Gabriel shook his head. “No. He has a slight concussion, but otherwise he’s ok. He was worried about you, though. Told Sam to make sure I took care of you.”
“That is very kind of him. I’m glad he’s ok.”
Gabriel handed Castiel a cup of coffee. Sipping, Cas closed his eyes.
Opening them back up, he looks at Gabe and asks quietly, “What am I going to do, Gabe?” Taking a deep breath and shaking his head, he continues, “I feel lost. I don’t know what to do.”
Gabriel led him to a chair. “Well, from what I can gather, Bobby will be here around 10, along with another officer to help you. You must have blacked out last night. Bobby left a note on the fridge for you.”
Castiel nodded. That made sense. He really doesn’t remember anything beyond Bobby whispering I’m sorry.
“Ok. Let me finish my coffee, and I’ll get ready. Will you stay with me? I don’t know if I’ll be able to make any decisions on my own today.” Castiel asks softly.
“You don’t even need to ask, baby bro. I’m right here. And I called Principal Mosley. I let her know what happened. She said you can contact her when you’re ready.” One nice thing about small towns. Everyone supports you.
After his shower, Cas and Gabe got a notebook and started working on a list. There wasn’t a how-to guide in funeral planning given to young couples when they got married.
Maybe there should be, Cas darkly thinks.
Gabe made a list of family and friends who needed to be notified. Inias hadn’t been extremely close with his family, but they still needed to be told. They weren’t particularly religious, but they did attend church, and Castiel assumed they would hold the funeral there.
“Cas, did you and Inias ever talk about what you guys wanted to do if the other died?”
“No. He was only forty years old, I never thought to ask.” Cas said with a defensive edge to his voice.
Gabe leveled Cas with a stern glare. “He may have only been 40, but he had a dangerous job. Are you trying to tell me that the man who worshipped the ground you walked on didn’t leave you with a set of plans to make this easier on you?”
Putting his face in his hands, Castiel started quietly sobbing. Gabriel was correct, of course. Inias had left plans. He told Castiel there was a file on his computer that had all the important information for Cas if anything ever happened to him. He just didn’t want to read them.
Taking his hands off his face, Cas looked at his brother.
“The plans are in a file on his computer. I've never read them. I never wanted to do so. It seemed like tempting fate to have something like that planned out.” Castiel says sadly.
Gabe stood up. Walking out of the kitchen, he speaks over his shoulder. “I'll go and print them up. We can have Bobby read through them when he gets here if you want. But you need to be ready, Cassie. This is only going to get harder.”
Castiel closes his eyes and pictures Inias. I love you. I can do this. I promise. I'm not sure how, but I will. I'll do this for you. You had faith in me, and I won't let you down. I'll be strong. I'll be strong for as long as this takes. No more tears. Not right now.
Getting up, Castiel walks to their office. Gabe is sitting at the computer looking for the file.
“I'll do it, Gabe. Inias would do it for me. I'm not going to let him down now. For better or worse, right?” Castiel says in a voice barely above a whisper.
Before Gabe can reply, the doorbell rings. Gabe stands up. He pulls Cas into a hard hug.
“You get the file. I'll get the door.” Gabe gives Cas a sad smile on his way out of the office.
Castiel sits at the computer. He looks at the mouse like it's a snake, ready to strike him. He does not want to do this, but he knows he must. Taking a deep breath, he wakes the sleeping computer.
In true Inias form, the desktop folders are organized and uncluttered. One folder jumps out at him, making Cas laugh and choke back a sob at the same time.
“You’re On Your Own, Kid.”
With a slightly shaky exhale, Cas knows this is the folder he's looking for. Only his love would name his end-of-life folder after a Taylor Swift song. Clicking it open, he sees the list of files.
Cas can feel tears gathering in his eyes. Inias knows…knew Cas so well. Every file is a song.
- Archer
- Endgame
- Clean
- Wi$h Li$t
Clicking on Archer, Castiel sees the funeral plans. He opens the next file titled Endgame, and is confronted with the life insurance and his will. Cas is sensing a theme. Smiling at his husband's silly sense of humor, he opens Clean and sees all of Inias’ medical records.
Castiel decides to stop opening the files. He has what he needs to get through today. Someday in the future, he may be able to open the last one, but today is not that day. Printing up the funeral document, he shuts down the computer and heads out to join Gabe and Bobby.
After a long and exhausting day, Castiel closed the door behind Gabe and sank against it. He was emotionally and physically drained. But he made it through the planning without crying and without breaking down.
Walking into the kitchen, he opened the fridge and pulled out the casserole he made last night. He wasn't hungry, but he knew he needed to eat. Getting sick wasn't going to bring Inias back.
While his food warmed in the microwave, he looked out into the backyard. It had started snowing sometime this afternoon, and the sight of the falling snow was strangely calming.
The microwave dinged, and Cas sat down with his meal. After a few bites, his phone rang. Looking at the caller ID, he saw Missouri Mosley, the school principal.
“Hello, Missouri,”
“I'm so sorry for your loss, child.” Missouri's soft voice washed over Cas. He wished she were in his kitchen so he could get one of her healing hugs.
Clearing the lump out of his throat, Castiel thanks her quietly. “Missouri, I'll be back to school on Monday. I know it's soon, but I really need to keep my routine. If I don't, I'll sit here wallowing and…” he breaks off.
Shushing him, Missouri says gently, “If you think that's best, your students will be happy to have you back. Would you like me to draft a letter for your families?”
“I would be in your debt if you took that task off my plate,” Castiel says earnestly.
“Consider it done. Now. Let me say this. You don’t need to think about the future, child. Not today. All you need to do is get through this moment. And then the next one. Grief changes shape. It won’t always feel like this.”
Cas closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
He knows she means well but everything he had ever wanted had just been torn out of his hands.
Cas knows she is right. Inias is gone. Time will smooth the sharp edge of pain. But right now, his chest feels like it's been shredded. He can't focus on the future. He just needs to get through today.
“Thank you, Missouri … that means a lot,” Castiel says while swallowing the harsher words that sat on his tongue.
“Of course, sugar. I'll take care of the letter. We'll see you at school on Monday.”
“I'll see you on Monday,” Cas says quietly, looking out at the falling snow.
Putting the phone down, Cas looked out the window. Cas gave himself permission to be still in that moment. Thinking about Inias. About how blessed he had been. Trying not to let the grief pull him under again.
Waking up was like wading through water. His head was pounding, and he could hear relentless beeping.
Opening his eyes, he was confused for a moment. Hospital? Why am I…It all came rushing back.
Headlights. A car fishtailing. Black ice. Spinning. Inias. Oh God. Inias.
Groaning and sitting up slowly, Dean grabs the edge of the bed and calls for the nurse.
“You’re awake, Officer Winchester. How do you feel?” she asks with a smile.
“Like I've been in a car accident. How do you think I feel?” Dean snapped.
She pursed her lips, jotted a few notes, and turned to leave. “I’ll just call the doctor.”
Feeling like an ass, Dean huffed. Don't take your bad attitude out on some poor nurse just doing her job, Dean thought.
Dean's thoughts drifted back to last night while he waited. Spinning tires. Metal tearing. Inias’ dying words.
He knew he needed to talk to Castiel. Dean had made a promise to his friend.
But how did you say something like that to someone whose world had just shattered?
Dean rubbed his face in frustration. He didn’t know what his place was here—didn’t know how close was close enough to deliver words that heavy.
He decided to talk to Bobby. Bobby would know what to do. How to say it without making it worse.
Reaching for the phone, it buzzed.
Looking at the caller ID, he saw it was Lisa. Groaning, he declined the call. He didn't have time right now for her.
Lisa was a nice girl. But right now, his focus was fixed elsewhere.
On Castiel. On the promise, he hadn’t yet figured out how to keep.
His phone started ringing again. He knew he couldn't avoid it.
“Hello,” Dean answered hesitantly.
“Dean! I'm almost there. I had to drop Ben off at school, but I'm on my way.”
“Lis, what are you talking about? Why are you coming here?”
Silence. Dean pulled the phone from his ear to see if the call had dropped.
“Dean,” Lisa said firmly. “I'm not leaving my boyfriend to take an Uber home from the hospital. I'm picking you up, and you are going to stay with Ben and me for a couple of days.”
Girlfriend? Dean thought. We've been on three dates. What is she talking about?
Before Dean could reply, the door opened, and his doctor walked in.
“I have to go, Lis. We can talk when you get here. Bye.” Without waiting for her reply, he hung up and tossed the phone to the side.
Evening, November 9, 2025
Dean sank slowly to his couch. Looking up at the ceiling, he was still annoyed after his conversation with Lisa.
As if he was going to stay with her. Even if they were dating, he needed to be home for Sam. Sam might be eighteen, but he was still Dean's responsibility.
Signing Dean picked up the phone and opened his contacts. Scrolling, he hit the call button next to Bobby's name.
“‘Lo?” A gruff voice answered the phone.
“Bobby, it's Dean. I need to talk to you. It's about Cas.”
“What about Cas? He's barely holding it together, son.”
“I can imagine. When Inias was dying, he gave me a message for Cas. I have to talk to him. Can you help arrange a meeting at the funeral?”
Taking a deep breath, Bobby was silent for a moment. “Is this gonna help him? Or just make it worse?”
Thinking for a moment, Dean is unsure. But at the end of the day, that's not their decision to make. Inias wanted Cas to know how he felt.
“Bobby, that's not a choice we can make. Inias knew he was dying, and he wanted Cas to know some things. I'm gonna talk to him whether you think it's a good idea or not.”
“OK, OK. Don't get your panties in a twist. I just want to make sure we're not telling Cas Inias had a love child somewhere. Jesus.”
Dean barked out a laugh. “Did you ever hear Inias talk about Cas? That man loved his husband something fierce. He never would have done anything like that. And if he had, and he told me, I'd have punched him in the mouth. Dying or not.”
Dean was quiet for a moment before he continued speaking, almost like he was talking to himself.
“Did I ever tell you about the first time I really noticed Cas Novak? Sam needed a tutor. Little nerd wasn't happy with a B in algebra. Cas was already teaching by then. Married. Settled. Untouchable. First time I really saw him…”
He laughed a little sadly.
“I knew he was special. He had this warm light shining out of him, and I wanted to be near it. You know my family, Bobby. My life always felt cold. So I kind of started making up excuses to be wherever he was.”
He shook his head and smiled to himself, “He was so kind to everyone. And I mean everyone.”
Dean could hear Bobby breathing on the other end of the phone. Hearing Bobby kept him grounded. He took a deep breath before continuing, steady and certain. “It took me some time, but Cas Novak is how I realized that I was attracted to boys and girls. I would never-never- do anything to hurt him. Even if we aren't friends. Even if he never knows.”
The line crackled with tension.
Bobby released his breath slowly. “OK. I didn't really think Inias would hurt Cas, but I had to be sure.” Bobby cleared his throat in a way that made Dean sit up straighter, “Now you listen to me, boy. Cas is grieving. Don't go make him uncomfortable. Keep your thoughts about his warm light to yourself. You hear?”
“Bobby! I got over my crush long ago. Jesus, what do you take me for? Inias was my partner. My friend. I'd never disrespect him like that.”
“I know you wouldn't do anything to deliberately hurt him, Dean. But Cas just lost his husband. His emotions are all over the place. He's wounded. Broken. From here on out, every choice you make matters. Even the quiet ones. I'll talk to Cas and let him know you want a private moment. Take care of yourself, son.”
Dean hung up the phone and rested his head on the couch cushions. He feels drained. Emotionally and physically.
Standing up, Dean decided to shower before calling Lisa. He needed to set the record straight.
He did let her drive him home from the hospital, but he could tell she was pissed about the situation. He's not looking forward to this call. But they weren't in a relationship. He couldn’t let her get that twisted.
Exiting the bathroom, Dean saw Sam on the couch.
“Hey, Sammy. How was school?”
Rolling his eyes, Sam responded automatically, “It’s Sam.” Closing his book, he looked at Dean with concern in his eyes. “How are you feeling, Dean? Don't give me any bullshit either.”
Ruffling Sam's hair as he walked past, he sank heavily onto the couch. Looking at Sam, he was thankful he had such an amazing brother.
“I'm good. Well, as good as I can be anyway.”
Sam nodded. He opened his mouth to say something, then clamped his lips together. Dean raised an eyebrow.
"Don't hold back. What's on your mind?”
“I was wondering if you talked to Mr.Novak yet?”
Dean looked down and shook his head.
“I'm going to talk to him at the funeral. Why?”
Sam shrugged. “I don't know. He was your partner's husband. He might have questions about what happened. He's a really nice man, Dean. You probably don't remember, but he was one of the after-school tutors that I had when we first moved here with Dad. I was really behind in math.”
Dean looked solemnly at Sam.
“Of course, I remember he was your tutor. I would meet you after, and we walked home together. The only reason I didn't mind you staying after was that he was so nice.”
Dean had a distant look in his eye for a moment. Shaking himself back to the present, he looked at Sam.
“Don't worry, Sam. I'll make sure he knows I'm around if he needs anything. I won't let Inias down.”
Pulling out his phone, he looked at Sam.
“I've gotta make a call. Can you give me a minute? We can order pizza or something after.”
Shrugging, Sam gathered his books and went to his room. Before closing the door, he yelled,” Don't forget my salad, bitch.”
Chuckling, Dean hollered back, “Don't worry. I'll get your rabbit food, jerk.”
Dean sobered quickly after hearing Sam's door close. Opening his phone, he looked at Lisa's contact information before hitting the call button.
“Hello?” Lisa answered the phone slightly breathless before the first ring finished. “Do you need me to come over? I can drop Ben at the sitter.”
Dean pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. “Lisa, we need to talk. I don't want you to get confused. We aren't in a relationship.”
“What do you mean?” She asked sharply. “Who said anything about being in a relationship?”
Rolling his eyes and biting his lip to keep from blurting out, Dean continued,” You called me your boyfriend.”
Dean could hear her take a breath. Her voice was much softer when she started again. “I want to help. You were just released from the hospital. You need someone to take care of you.”
“I appreciate that, Lis, I really do. But I need you to understand my boundaries. We are friends, and I value your friendship. Right now, I don't have the energy for anything more. Do you understand?” Dean asks gently.
Lisa was silent. Dean could almost hear her thinking of a response. Finally, she sighed, “Fine. If that's what you want. I'll try to tone it down. But if you need anything, call. I really care about you, Dean, and I thought we were moving toward something.”
“I don't want to hurt you, Lisa, but I'm only twenty-four. I'm not ready for anything like that. And I have no idea when I will be.”
“OK. I get it. You need time. I can wait.” Her voice was unnaturally cheerful. “I'll come by tomorrow, and we can go to lunch or something. Bye!” She hung up before Dean could respond.
Looking at his phone, Dean felt uneasy. She seemed awfully confident that he would change his mind. He knew they would have to talk more, but right now he wanted to relax and focus on what really mattered: Cas. Inias. Getting through the funeral.
After placing the pizza order, Dean set his phone down and wished he could turn back the clock and ignore that radio call. If he had, his friend would still be alive. He wouldn't be trying to dodge Lisa. And he definitely wouldn't be on the cusp of giving an emotionally devastating message to the most beautiful soul he had ever met.
Why was life so hard?
Why did Dean have the feeling that everything was about to change?