Chapter Text
Chapter 1: Personality Test
"Minister Shaklebolt? Miss Hermione Granger is here asking for you sir."
"Thank you Mafalda. Go ahead and let her in." Kingsly Shacklbolt sat back in his chair. He had been the Minister of Magic for the last two years after the fall of Voldemort. Each day had been a struggle in the post war. The Ministry was still under intense scrutiny and himself as Minister even more so. This last week had been especially dismal and he was looking forward to a few minutes distraction. Hermione had been offered a position as and Under-Secretary in his office and he was hoping she was here with good news. He really needed a brilliant witch like her on his team.
"Minister, thank you for taking the time to see me." Hermione walked into his office and came forward, hand outstretched to shake his. Kingsly stood up and came around the desk to shake her hand warmly and offer her a seat.
"Of course Miss Granger. I am happy you stopped in." Kingsly took his own seat and focused his attention on the girl - young woman really- sitting across from him. At first a tingle of apprehension took him when he looked at her stiff countenance but waved it off as simply nerves about the job.
"I hope you forgive me for forward but I need to know what the meaning of this is?" Hermione sat a letter in front of him.
"This Miss Granger is what happens when the Wizengamot starts panicking like a bunch of sheep." Kingsly didn't even try to hide the disgust in his voice. "They have decided that the marriage and birth rates are decidedly too low after the war and have implemented this horrid excuse of a Marriage Law. I promise I did everything I could to keep this from happening, or at least to soften the restictions but my hands were tied. And with the pressure the Ministry is already facing I was left with either supporting this diabolical proposition or face a mutiny. At least if I show my support in public, I will keep my position and be able to work on getting this overturned as quickly as possible." Kingsly handed Hermione back the standard letter that had been issued to all unwed, out of school witches and wizards between the ages of 17 and 65. The letter stated that eligible witches and wizards had one month to get married to a partner of their choice or be faced with a Ministry aptitude test and forcibly matched.
"So there is no hope for getting out of this. No loop holes or exceptions at all?" Hermione looked to be almost in tears as she said this which confused the Minister greatly.
"I am sorry Miss Granger but the only exceptions are for those who have previously noted medical conditions that make it impossible to reproduce. If I might ask though, why are you so worried? You are getting married in a week to Ronald Weasley which fulfills all but the consummation requirements of the new law." Kingsly looked at the visibly upset girl before him. Looking closer at her now he saw how tired and worn the girl was. He didn't have to wonder long about what was bothering the girl as she started speaking, her voice steady even as the occasional tear escaped her eyes to drip down her face.
"Yes Minister, if I was marrying Ron in a week then I would have nothing to fear. However less than 24 hours ago I found out my ex-fiance couldn't keep it in his pants. So in a weeks time it will not be me walking down the aisle for the dream wedding I spent the last six months planning every detail of. Nope, not me. Romilda Vane will have the honor of become Mrs. Ronald Weasley and in six months they will be welcoming little Weasley Jr. to the family. So IF I was getting married in a week I would have nothing to worry about. Instead I have one month to find someone else to marry me, or be forced into a marriage with someone the Ministry assigns to me. The one person I had hoped would be able to help tells me his hands are tied." Hermione took a deep breath but continued before Kingsly could say a word. "I apologize for my outburst. You have enough problems of your own without having to hear about mine. Thank you for your time Minister."
Kingsly was to shocked to speak as Hermione got up and walked out of his door. He longed to be able to help the poor girl but could do nothing. He had already pulled to many strings and gave out too many favors. If he had known that this law was coming out he would have saved a few of those favors to help the girl. As it was Kingsly just felt the weight on his shoulders get that much heavier as he forced himself back to work.
~*~
Four weeks later and Hermione was out of options. She had first gone to each of her acquaintances out side of the Weasleys and came up empty. That had been the first week. Harry and Ginny were a given. Dean Thomas had already hooked up with Hannah Abbot. Seamus Finnigan apparently was medically exempt due to his own stupidity, a night of heavy drinking, and taunting a very pissed off kneazle. Even Neville had found a kindred spirit in Luna Lovegood and were wed within the first week of the announcement.
The second week she had broken down and contacted the unattached Weasleys. Charlie was got married to a Romanian beauty by the name of Daciana Petran. Percy was married to his long time sweetheart Penelope Clearwater. Fred and George got hitched to the Patil twins.
By the third week Hermione had started on the lists. She had lists for every unattached male she had gone to school with. It took her the rest of the two weeks to dig up information on each of the young men. She even stooped so low as to check up on Blaise Zabini and Cormac McLaggen. Even they had found partners.
Now the deadline for finding your own partner had passed and Hermione found herself staring at looked like a personality test. Apparently that was how the ministry planned on matching the rest of the wizarding world. A personality test of 5 questions was apparently enough to pair up whom ever remained and they only had 48 hours to send it back. With a heavy sigh, Hermione began the test.
Ministry of Magic Aptitude and Compatibility Questionaire
Miss Hermione Granger,
Please answer the following questions to the best of your ability and return the completed form to the Ministry of Magic, Department of Marriage, Bonding, and other Legally Binding Commitments. Thank you for your time and cooperation.
Sincerely,
Patricia Pennyworth
Head of the Department of Marriage, Bonding and other Legally Binding Commitments
Question 1: Describe yourself in three words or less.
Intelligent, witty, and ambitious.
(Hermione hoped that with these answers she would be matched with a man who could hold a conversation about more than quidditch, who liked to laugh and could make her laugh in return, and wouldn't frown on the fact that she planned on working. She knew a man like that would have been snapped up as soon as the letters first went out but a girl could dream.)
Question 2: What is your favorite room in the house?
The library.
(Hermione had no clue how this question was supposed to help find her a match but she did so love to read and imagined spending time curled up in front of a fire with a good book and a man to snuggle up with.)
Question 3: What do you feel is the most important aspect of a successful relationship?
Trust.
(Hermione took much longer to answer this one. She first thought that love was the answer but upon re-reading the question she noted that it did not specify the type of relationship. The number one aspect of all her friendships and professional dealings had always been trust. Something that apparently she had been sorely lacking from Ron.)
Question 4: What are your thoughts of blood-purity?
Indifferent. People are people and magic is magic. It doesn't matter who your parents were or how pure your blood. Its who a person is on the inside that matters.
(Hermione almost skipped this question just on principle. After thinking about it though she knew she would never be able to get along with anyone who did have strong opinions on the matter.)
Question 5: What side of the Second Wizarding War did you fight for?
I am Hermione Jean Granger. Muggle born witch and best friend to Harry Potter, 'Savior of the Wizarding World'. What side do you think I fought for?
(Hermione finally let her anger of this entire ridiculous situation get the best of her. She didn't understand how half of these questions were going to help and the last one was the final straw and she let her exasperation at this entire farce be known.)
~*~
Three days after sending in her completed questionnaire, Hermione finally received her results. She had been sitting at the little table in the kitchenette of her rented London flat when the Ministry owl arrived. She shared a tidbit of bacon with the owl before it flew off, leaving her to stare at the inconspicuous letter. Dread seized her mind raced with all the horrid possibilities.
What if she was pared with someone truly horrid. Professor Flitwick wasn't 65 yet and therefore a possible candidate. As was Hagrid. Or heaven forbid Argus Filch! What if she was paired with one of them.
As Hermione was just getting started into giving herself a panic attack, she heard a knock on the door. A quick check on her wards let her know that Harry was standing outside and so without saying anything she just flicked her wand to let him in, her eyes never leaving the dreaded envelope.
"Hey Hermione, did your results come yet?" Harry wandered into the kitchenette and saw his friend staring with out blinking at the table. She was pale and didn't seem to be breathing properly so he hurried over and put a hand on her shoulder.
Hermione jumped when she felt the hand on her shoulder and looked up into the face of her best friend. Tears started running down her face as the stress and confusion of the last few weeks finally became to much to bear. She sobbed and felt warm arms surround her. Harry was whispering quiet platitudes to her as the storm of emotions swirled within her.
It was some time later before she was able to get herself under control and pull back from her friends embrace. Harry looked at her, worry shining brightly in his eyes. She gave a small smile to show she was better and he finally pulled away to sit across from her.
"So now that you have that out of your system are you ready for this? Just read it fast and get it over with. At least then you will know who to worry about instead of worrying about any and all maybe options." Hermione smiled again at Harry's words. He knew her so well and knew what she had been fretting over when he had come in. Harry gave her an encouraging smile as she finally reached towards the letter. Taking one last fortifying breath she quickly torn the envelope open and pulled out the letter.
She read the letter once... twice... three times, not believing what it said. She was in such a shock she didn't even complain when Harry, finally losing patience, took the letter out of her hand.
"Merlins saggy tits. They can't be serious. There is definitely some kind of mistake. There is no way you are going to be required to marry him!"
"Its done. There is no mistake. I'm sorry Harry but I think I need some time to process this. I will floo call you later. Thanks for coming." Without another word Hermione got up and walked across the flat to her living room couch before she sat down and started unseeing at the wall.
Harry gave a frustrated sigh, knowing she was right and upset that there was nothing he could do. Silently he set the letter back down, got up and headed out the door. After he left Hermione summoned the letter to herself to read it once more.
Miss Hermione Granger,
This letter is to inform you that your questionaire and been accepted and the results compared. After careful consideration it is our pleasure to inform you we have found a match for you. You have been paired with Severus Tobias Snape, professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Professor Snape has also been informed of you compatibility and pairing. The Ministry looks forward to receiving the news of your successful wedding and consumation. Please have these ceremonies completed no later than two weeks from todays date.
Congratulations on your impeding nuptuals. May you have a long and happy life with your intended.
Sincerely,
Patricia Pennyworth
Head of the Department of Marriage, Bonding, and Other Binding Commitments