Chapter Text
Beatrice: Where are the orange slices?
Caleb: (Slowly stops licking his fingers which had been dripping orange juice) Uh... I think Mom gave them to the Factionless.
Beatrice: The Factionless? Again? Dam them!
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Jeanine: Pick one already!
Beatrice: But... I don't feel like it
Jeanine: Fine. Poochy, rip 'er to shreds!
(Dog comes out)
Beatrice: Wait, don't rip me! (Sweats) I have orange slices!
Dog: I love you!!!
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Caleb: It's okay to be selfish
Beatrice: Boy, you okay? Eat too many grapes for breakfast?
Caleb: What?
Beatrice: Grapes. Because Mom gave out the orange slices?
Caleb: Haha. Oh, yes. Grapes. Got it. Yeah. I'll just enter this room with a stack of books and not mention anything else, kay?
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(Caleb chooses Erudite)
Crowd: Gasp!
Caleb: Why would you say gasp?
Beatrice: (thinks) I should stay with my family. But I'm not good enough. I'm selfish. That isn't a good enough reason to leave. So what should I choose? Amity? HAHAHAHAHAHA.
Someone in the crowd: What's up with her? She's dying of laughter by herself up there
Beatrice: (thinks): Candor, maybe? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (Slaps knee)
Someone else in the crowd: Maybe she's having a seizure?
Beatrice: (thinks) No, seriously, what? Maybe I should stay.
Voice inside head: I agree. Your parents will die with or without you
Beatrice: (thinks) What?
Voice inside head: What? Nothing!
Beatrice: You know what? I'll go with Dauntless. The Factionless took my orange slices! I LOVE orange slices!!!! (Picks Dauntless)
(The crowd gasps and cheers)
Andrew Prior: We should just die by the end of this recap at this point
Natalie Prior: Wasn't that always the plan?
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Tris: What! No orangle slices????
Will: Sorry... but I saw some mangoes? No? Okay...
Tris: I. Will. Kill. You. For that joke. You don't joke with orange slices
Christina: They're just orange sli---
(Tris gives her a deadly look)
Christina: ---ces are great!
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Molly: Poor Stiff. Got removed a towel...
Tris: I have no time for you (rolls her eyes)
Molly:... and got no orange slices
Tris: I. Will. KILL YOU! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Four: Go cool down! Now!
Tris: No! There are no orange slices! Wait... do you have some?
Four: WHAT? NO
Tris: Should have chosen Amity... they probably have orange slices, don't they?
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(For minutes, they mush their lips together)
Tris: Just so you know... I'm gonna need some orange slices to keep this relationship intact
Four: Dam it, Tris!
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(They are in the fear landscape, Tobias' turn)
Tris: What... this is your fourth fear? You're just staring at a drawing
Four: It's my worst fear
Tris: You're scared of... a drawing of the wacky waving ---
Four: I'm afraid of a drawing of the wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man!!!
Tris:... You are so weird
Four: You're calling ME weird?
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Will: Hey, Tris, I heard that in Erudite, they have orange slices
Tris: WHAT
(Runs out of Dauntless and jumps on a train)
Caleb: Beatrice, what are you doing here?
(Tris turns to the sound of Caleb's voice and smiles. He sees not her teeth, but an orange peel)
Tris: Mmm.... (removes the peel) I came to see you, brother! (Strained voice) Yes! Just you!
Caleb: They had no orange slices---
Tris: THEY HAD NO ORANGE SLICES (sobs)
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(Marlene happily chomps on mangoes)
Tris: You seem to love mangoes
Marlene: Who doesn't???
(Tris makes a face.)
Uriah: (whispers to Lynn) I prefer mangoes to oranges
(Tris doesn't hear. Unfortunately, Four does.)
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(Tris' mum saves her from captivity)
Natalie Prior: I ALWAYS HATED THE MANGOES THERE
(Dauntless simulation immediately shoots at her direction.)
(Tris begins running, tears blurring her sight. Something that looks like a mango to her is chasing her.)
Tris: AH! I hate mangoes! (shoots instinctively. The mango drops down. Tris looks to see who it was) Oh... it was Will...
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Andrew Prior: WHAT MY WIFE SAID
Tris: Dad, you love all fruits. Even grapes! And I hate those more than mangoes
Andrew: Listen, Tris. Always remember: Don't hate---
(Dies)
Tris: Hate who? The grape queen?
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Tris: Tobias, I know you can hear me. Put down the gun.
(Tobias does not comply)
Tris: Tobias... I know you love orange slices too. I saw it in your eyes. Let go of the gun, and we'll run away into a crate of orange slices. Not full oranges, please. Orange. Slices.
(Tobias's head clears)
Tobias: Mother of Orange Slices?
(They hug. Tris pats his back)
Tris: If only...
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Tris: Shouldn't we just push Peter off the train if we hate him so much? He's injured, he'll never see it coming
Tobias: Nah.... too much violence in one book
THE END OF BOOK 1