Chapter Text
Dennis wanted to ride in Robby’s truck, to get driven to Trinity’s, to smell the seats and watch the man’s hands on the steering wheel. He loved riding in Robby’s truck. He loved getting to sit so close to the older man on the bench seat, to rest his hand between them and feel the heat that always radiated off him.
However, he couldn’t that day. After a week of letting Robby drive him home, of catching bites to eat at the diner, of letting Robby pay. He needed something from someone else. And it was far more humiliating than when he told Robby he’d been homeless living in the hospital. It was more embarrassing than when Dennis had to tell Robby that he didn't have a driver's license because he couldn't drive on the city highways.
It was so much worse.
Instead of joining Robby outside the ED doors, Dennis snuck away from Robby’s soft smile, away from his eyes that somehow always landed on Dennis. And he went to Dr. Abbot.
He didn't know the other attending super well, he'd always been a little nervous around him. Dr. Abbot was so…. solid and handsome and strong and Dennis always felt a little bit like a kid when he was around the other doctor. Dr. Abbot was just… so different from Robby, but still as knowledgeable and quick. He just needed a favour…
He stood beside the other attending, jaw working as he tried to come up with a way to get them to somewhere less… peopley. Somewhere he could hide away in and get away from the older man if it all went south…
“Speak or leave, kid.” Dr. Abbot's voice rang out, not mean, just a hint of humor below the words. He was standing, hunched over to click on one of the computers, eyes not leaving the screen. Dennis cleared his throat and looked at the floor.
“Can I ask you something?” Dennis said, hands twisting together in front of him. He felt his throat get tight, heart starting to beat faster as he looked at the nurses floating around, too many people…
“Shoot.” Jack said, glancing over to look at the kid nervously picking at his nail. Dennis swallowed thickly, looking at his own hands as he tinted his head to the side.
“Can I ask you something somewhere private?” Dennis clarified, a nervous smile breaking across his face. Jack raised an eyebrow before looking around. He nodded towards an empty room, the door closed, light off. Dennis felt his face heat up as he followed the attending to the room, the door clicking shut was too loud in the empty space. An office… Dennis took a breath, probably somewhere Jack did paperwork, somewhere they wouldn't be overheard.
“Everything alright?” Abbot asked as he flicked on the light, looking over the way Dennis was radiating anxiety. Dennis kept his eyes down, staring at the tips of the attending sneakers.
“Yeah yeah, it’s been- um- I don’t really have a lot of extra money for things and um… I can’t ask Doctor Robby because that would be… anyway but you could… um-" Dennis was struggling, feeling so hot like his head might come off, embarrassment and humiliation boiling up in his throat, heart racing too fast, sweat wetting his palms.
“Is this something I don’t wanna hear? Look we all have to make ends meet ,I get it, but if you’ve been selling-" The older started, a stern look in his face. Dennis waved his hands in the air, eyes going wide at the misunderstanding.
“I haven’t! I wouldn’t! I'm not a thief. I just need an exam. I was wondering if you could just… do it. For me. As a favor. I can’t pay.” Dennis finally said, the words chopped up and disorganized as he struggled to make the doctor understand without having to actually say it. He felt his throat squeeze as he glanced up at the other doctor.
Jack nodded, a hand going to cradle his chin, rubbing over the stubble there as he thought for a moment. Dennis couldn't help but shift on his feet, he was exhausted, sure, but also terrified. He was half hoping the floor would just open up and put him out of his misery.
“Just a physical? Michael could do it.” Jack said but Dennis turned dark red again and looked down, hands twisting together as a sick feeling welled in his throat. His head started to shake back and forth before he could even must up any words.
“Not a physical. A um… a pelvic exam. I’ve never had one and I- I guess I need one. I just need… Robby can't do it.” Dennis explained, voice quiet, just barely loud enough for the older doctor to hear. Dennis thought it was going to end badly, that he’d be told no, that the older doctor would do something worse, report him to HR or, worst of all, out him. Gossip spread fast between nurses…
Jack hummed and nodded, understanding washing over his face, a small tilt of his lips making Dennis freeze.
“I see. Well, come in early for your next shift and I’ll do it before I leave. If you need any tests, we’ll run them under a different name.” Jack said, calm and easy as Dennis’s head was still spiraling.
Dennis froze after the words came through his brain. That was so… rational.
“You’ll do it?” Dennis asked, voice catching in the middle from shock.
“Kid, it’s not a big deal. We all were broke students, it happens. I’d rather do it and get it done than have a sick doctor on duty.” Abbot explained but Dennis couldn’t believe he was so calm about it. Dennis blinked at him, brain processing that… yeah… that made sense…
“You wont tell anyone I’ve got… ya know.” Denis said nodding down towards himself, where all his issues sat. Doctor Abbot put his hands on his hips, shaking his head with a smirk.
“What’s in your pants is your business Whitaker, it’s not anyone else’s concern until you make it.” Jack said and waved his hand, almost shooing away the weight in the air. Dennis nodded, letting out a deep breath before looking back up at the attending.
“Thank you. I’ll make sure to come in early. I- I really appreciate it.” Dennis said sincerely, feeling a bit of the weight lift off his shoulders. He just needed to get it over with to make sure he was… right. He needed to be right, needed to fix whatever was broken with him before he got back in Robby's truck… before he stayed too late at Robby's house with a cold drink that burned his throat that made him wanna stay the night….
"No problem, kid, now get going." Jack said, patting Dennis on the shoulder before opening the office door, waving the younger man out. Jack stayed in the seclusion of the office for a minute longer, something warm sitting his belly that needed to simmer down.
Dennis shivered as he laid down on the exam bed. Jack had said his goodbyes and excused himself out a side door, Dennis following behind him, leaving the bustle of the Pitt.
Dennis was okay with them sneaking to the abandoned wing. He told Jack where he used to stay, where the room was clean and tidy. Jack had set up the area on his own short lunch break, paper down on the exam table, all the supplies they needed for the STD tests, a box of gloves, and a sterile tray with all his tools. And a folded sheet at the end of the table.
Dennis knew what to do… he'd done pelvic exams before, he knew to take off his jeans and his underwear, slipping off his sneakers too, he knew to cover with the sheet. But he still couldn't help but feel embarrassed, knowing the older doctor was waiting right outside the door. He tucked his underwear into the fold of his jeans, hiding away the bright red briefs. He never looked at a patient's underwear but they were such a bright color and what if Jack saw…
"I'm ready, Doctor Abbot." Dennis said finally, trying to keep his voice even as he made sure the sheet was fully covering his lap. He was laying down, head raised a bit on the headrest, legs dangling off the edge of the bed.
There was a pause before Jack entered the room, rubbing sanitizer on his hands. He had a folder tucked under his arm. Analogue, they were doing it that paper way to keep Dennis's name off labels.
"Alright, kiddo, you alright to start?" Jack asked as he sat on the squeaky rolling chair, pulling it to the counter that ran along the wall. He looked at Dennis, he was so caring, just making sure Dennis was… sure.
"Yeah. Yep. Just a reg-regular exam." Dennis said more to himself than the doctor as he nodded, staring at the yellow wall across from him. Jack tipped open the folder, pen clicking as he filled it in.
"Reason for appointment?" Jack asked, reading through the questions, not bothering to look up from where hid pen was sat on the page.
"Just to make sure everything looks right. Works." Dennis said, trying not to just outright say his issue…
"Date of your last menstruation?" Jack asked, making Dennis think.
"Um… maybe a year ago? I'm on testosterone and that kind of stopped them." Dennis said, thinking back.
"Medical history, other than the testosterone?" The doctor asked, pen scraping over the paper.
"Just the- um- I use the injection testosterone and that's it." Dennis answered, thinking back to the shot he made Trinity give him a few nights ago.
"Alright, sexual history?" Jack asked, glancing over at Dennis, making him squirm.
"Undergrad. Just… didn't work out very well the few times I did it." Dennis admitted, face burning up as he watched Jack write, his arm muscles flexing with the light movement.
"Okay, and symptoms? I'm gonna assume something has to do with it not working out before?" Jack asked, his doctor voice making Dennis feel a little more at ease.
"It just kinda hurt? I guess? Like it hurts after and I um… I've never been able to… ya know… get there." Dennis tried to describe it, without it being too humiliating.
"Orgasm?" Jack offered and Dennis nodded, face going bright red as he swallowed, throat feeling a little tight.
"Yeah. I just. Can't. I wanna get checked out to make sure I can before I go too far with my boyfriend." Dennis explained, heart fluttering a little saying it. Boyfriend, Robby was his boyfriend. Jack nodded and wrote for a moment more before wheeling to the foot on the table.
"Good idea. Alrighty, feet up, Whitaker." Jack said and pulled under the exam table to pull the stirrups up and out. Dennis stared at the for a minute, looking at Jack's face before he reached down, holding the sheet down as he lifted his legs up. He was shaking, heart pounds as his nerves started to get to him.
"Take a breath, kid, we've got plenty of time to get this done. You've done plenty of these exams, I've done more than plenty of these exams. It's no big deal, alright?" Jack comforted, genuine as he watched Dennis start to hyperventilate. Dennis stared at him, watching as Jack took in a big breath, slowly matching the over exaggerated breathing till he was nodding, moving his legs.
"Yeah. Yeah I've done plenty of these. I know what to-to expect. No big deal." Dennis said as he focused on getting his ankles up in the hard rubber holders. They were cold against his ankles, even through his white socks they felt freezing. Jack helped him, gently taking his ankle in his hand and settling them into the right position.
"I'll keep the sheet pulled up. Do you want me to tell you what I'm doing or do you want it quiet?" Jack asked as he pulled the sheet to end over Dennis's knees, keeping most of his legs covered. Dennis pulled his hands up and covered his face.
"Not quiet, please." He said, voice muffled through his hands. He peaked through his fingers to watch Jack huff a laugh before sitting down. Just the top of his grey curls showing from under the sheet.
"Okay first I'm just going to look. I'm gonna feel around for any lumps, any irregularities, anything like that. If you feel any pain or you need a breather, just let me know. Ready?" Jack explained as he snapped on a pair of gloves, eyes already scanning over the organ in front of him. He hummed and reached back to find the exam light, turning it till it illuminated where he needed it.
"Yeah." Dennis mumbled as he tried to relax, hands going to rest against his sternum. He jumped when two warm fingers began softly pressing against his outer folds, he took in a shaky breath, calming down as those fingers worked all the way around him. Jack nodded, everything felt good.
Dennis stared at the ceiling hoping there would be something wrong right away so he didn't have to wait for the inevitable. There had to be something wrong. Everyone else could orgasm and feel- feel good. He wanted so badly for it to be something physical and not something in his head… He gasped a little as his folds were spread open, warm warm fingers inspecting him, from around his opening up to where his good spot should have been.
"Looking good so far, Dennis. You're doing just fine. I'm gonna do the physical part now, you know what that is?" Jack said as he stood up, looking at the tray he'd set on the small table by the table. Dennis nodded as he watched the Doctor apply some lube to two of his fingers.
"I want you to take a big breath in and then slowly let it out. Do that for me." Jack said as he sat back down, stretching to look at Dennis over the sheet. Dennis nodded and took in a big breath through his nose, closing his eyes as he let it out through his mouth. He forced himself to stay relaxed as those fingers, so much bigger than his own, slipped inside him with little fanfare.
Jack pressed against his walls, making sure he could feel everything, Dennis was a good temperature, a good color, nothing particularly alarming or out of the ordinary. Jack looked as his fingers slipped free for any tearing around the opening, any sore or anything that would cause pain. Nothing.
Dennis sighed as he was left a little damp and empty. Okay. Hardest part and then he could be told what was wrong.
"You're doing a great job. Any pain so far?" Jack asked as he prepared the speculum, making sure it would be an easy and painless affair. He had the pap smear test ready as well.
"No, it's okay. Not-Not hurting." Dennis said, mustering up a smile when Jack raised an eyebrow at him. He focused on breathing, fear starting to boil back up. Speculums always freaked him out, even using them on patients he always felt wrong.
"Another big breath in. This one is bigger and it's gonna be a little cold. I know the test can be a little uncomfortable but tell me if it hurts. Ready?" Jack said, he'd tried to warm up the metal by holding it but it would still feel cool. He looked over the sheet and waited till Dennis sucked in a big breath and nodded.
Dennis didn't mean for his breath to turn into a strangled noise as the speculum slid into him. It didn't feel very big. But it felt weird. Cool and odd shaped and as it opened it felt weird to feel air on the inside of him. Jack worked quick, turning his pen around to use the light, looking at the pristine walls, the pink and markless cervix, at the extraordinarily average insides of the med student. He was used to doing the pap smear tests, working to get it over with, even when Dennis wiggled, apologizing at the same time, before he was slowly pulling the closed speculum back out.
"Alright. All done with that now. All done. I'll go wash my hands out there and you can throw your pants back on. When I come back in we can get some blood and urine, sound good?" Jack said, standing up. He pulled off his gloves, letting them fall into the trashcan. He came back to help Dennis lift his feet back out of the stirrups, making sure none of the ancient rubber broke off on him or irritated his skin too bad.
"I can do the urine test while you're out. It'll only take me a second." Dennis said as he held the sheet in place and sat on the edge of the table. He watched as Jack nodded, shooting him a pair of thumbs up before leaving the room. Dennis took a few breaths as his face cooled down. Jack was so- and his fingers were so- and Dennis groaned as he topped down to the floor. He was the worst. He was the first person to ever get excited getting a pelvic exam. He was a creep.
He made quick work of the urine test, he'd grown up sending days in the middle of nowhere and then later on wanting to pee like the boys did, so he was swiftly filling the sample cup before wiping it off and washing his hands. He pulled his bottoms back on, slipping his sneakers back on.
"Doctor Abbot, I'm dressed!" He called out and waited for the older man to come back into the room. He felt a little better, just getting it over with, but now he had to wait for results. Something had to be wrong. Had to be.
Jack came back into the room, brain unhelpful as it supplied him with 'poor thing' as he looked at Dennis's peachy blush that was still sitting on the tips of his ears. He felt bad for the young man, never having felt the best feeling in the world, not having the one thing all people enjoyed.
Jack pouted when he'd been washing his hands thinking of his own med student days, of his own residency, it would have been so much harder if he couldn't go hide away in his apartment and jerk one out before sleeping. He wouldn't bother sleeping with people either if he couldn't cum. And Dennis had this new boyfriend… jack hoped he was being treated right, hoped the guy was being nice to Dennis about taking it slow.
By the time Jack came back in, he had a renewed feeling to help the younger man.