Chapter Text
It was common knowledge Robert Robertson the third had a nice voice. When he spoke in even the softest tones, grit and gravel scratched an auditory itch most people didn’t know they had until they heard him talk. Despite the worn exterior of his civilian persona, he was uniquely expressive in the way he used his vocal chords, often making quiet, unconscious sounds to express his emotions on a moment-to-moment basis. Only a few weeks into his new job, he’s become slightly more aware of his habit, mainly because the Z-Team won’t shut the fuck up about it any time he forgets to mute before stretching to release two long shifts worth of muscle tension.
If he gave more of a shit about himself, he’d probably adhere to Chase’s grandfatherly pestering to go see a doctor, a chiropractor, anyone who can shut your loud masochistic ass up while I’m tryna work damnit. But as it stood, he could really only be bothered to stretch as dutifully as he could before and after working out in the office building’s gym. Whatever his body decided to feel like after that was out of his hands.
“Jeezus,” Visi’s wheezy voice crackles through his headset after a particularly satisfying neck crack that resulted in an equally satisfied-sounding groan. “Get a room, perv.” Krshh.
Golum laughs underneath Prism’s loud cackle. “Damn, Robert! Who you got under that desk?”
Robert sighs, cracking the other side of his neck less satisfactorily. “Nobody. Focus up team.”
“Oh I’m focused,” Prism teases.
“Me too,” Visi coughs, “Real focused on whatever’s goin’ on over there.” Krshh.
Flambae interjects, “What has he got ‘going on’ eh? A little mechalight for his mecha-”
“OKAY,” Robert says a little too loud. Chase’s glare over the partition gets hand waved away. “That’s enough. Fire on forty-fifth street. Waterboy, can you handle that?” When there’s no immediate response, he tries again. “Waterboy?”
“Aw shit,” Sonar comments, “Not again.”
Roberts eyebrows furrow in confusion. “What?”
Prism laughs loudly again, this time joined by Malevola. The comms go wild with overlapping jokes and jeers that Robert manages to ignore in favor of zeroing in on Waterboy’s tracking icon. He’s still near his most recent call, a few blocks from the fire, unmoving, which spikes Robert’s anxiety at the thought of him being incapacitated or unconscious. He exhales a short, stabilizing breath that, for some reason, only furthers the rowdy back and forth going on.
“Oh waterboyyy,” Visi sing-songs.
“Come on Squirt, we know you’re listening,” Malevola’s smooth, deep voice says with sincerity.
Sonar offers helpfully, “Talk to us Dripmeister.”
“Yeah,” Visi goads, “Talk to us. Dispatcher’s waiting for you champ.”
“I’m-” It sounds like he chokes on his own spit. Or water. “I’m- I’m here- present! Sorry, I didn’t- I wasn’t- I was-”
“Yes, you was?” Flambae prods meanly.
“Waterboy,” Robert cuts the rest of them off, switching to a direct line. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”
“Yes- yes sir! Mecha- Robert, sir, I- I got- I just needed a little- quick break, but I am… I am right- here! Right as- right as rain! Yeah.”
Robert holds back his sigh of relief. “Alright, good. Had me worried for a second there. Think you can handle that fire on your own?”
There’s another beat of silence where Robert imagines the young hero is nodding his head emphatically. “Yes! Yes sir, yes I- I can- I can do that, yes. I’ll- I’ll go right now, right now then.”
“Great.” Robert leans back in his chair, watching the blue and yellow dot begin to move across his screen. He switches back to the general comms line where the conversation has inexplicably shifted to first date etiquette. “Hey,” he cuts in between Punch Up and Sonar’s argument over the classiness of all-you-can-eat buffets. “Shut up and listen. Everyone except Waterboy head back to base.”
“Don’t have to tell me twice,” Sonar mutters, the noise of his transformation cutting out as he presumably takes flight.
Coupé growls with the force of what is sure to be a riveting battle story once she returns. “It’s early. Am I leaving this guy for dead or what?”
“No,” Robert answers over a chorus of yes’s. “Finish taking him into custody and then come back. And that goes for anyone else who’s still in the middle of a job,” he adds quickly before Visi says a word.
Predictably, she grumbles, “Fucking hell” before resuming her mission.
“Hey Robert,” Golum says.
“Yes?”
“You seein’ anyone?”
Robert shucks off his headset before he can be subjected to the onslaught of work-inappropriate comments and laughter that follows.
The Z-Team makes sure to recount every line of dialogue he’d been trying to avoid as they return. Punch Up even manages to make Coupé crack a smile, squeezing himself under Robert’s desk just to prove a person could fit under there if he really wanted them to. It isn’t even worth it to mention the obvious size disparity between Punch Up and most other human beings. Robert thinks he does a good job at hiding his mortification until Blazer walks by and gives him a funny look at the scene they’re making. Great.
Visi shows up second to last, beating Waterboy by just a few seconds. She proudly flaunts the bag of donuts scored from Granny’s on the way over.
“One extra long, extra creamy donut for you, Liutenant.” She presents the pastry like it’s a physical punchline. Leaning casually up against the outer wall of his cubicle she asks nonchalantly, “So. Are you seeing anyone?”
His face muscles don’t so much as twitch but she laughs anyway.
“Oh my god, chill out. It’s just a question. Coworkers ask each other about their dating lives all the time.”
Robert grunts, sniffing his gift like he doesn’t trust it just to wipe the smile off her face. He bites into the donut like he has all the time in the world, letting his blank stare do the talking for him.
The telltale squelch of wet footsteps causes both of them to look up at where Waterboy is shuffling in.
“Waterboy.”
The kid honest-to-god jumps at the sound of Robert’s voice, gasping like he truly hadn’t noticed them until now. “Sir! I mean Robert- you- hi. Hello.” He comes to a slow, bumbling stop a few feet away.
One of Visi’s eyebrows goes up, that shit-eating grin back on her face. “Hey Waterboy. How’s the fire?”
The surprise is clear on Waterboy’s face, mirroring Robert’s own at the sound of genuine interest coming from Invisigal. She never asks about other people’s jobs unless there’s a funny story or potential blackmail attached.
“Oh! It’s g-good! I mean- bad, like- I, I stopped it! No more… no more fire. I did the- water- I used my- it’s… been handled.” He gives a little thumbs up, glancing at Robert over her shoulder.
Robert nods, finishing off his donut to stand and walk over, offering a fist bump to the taller man. “Nice work, kid.”
Waterboy smiles shyly and awkwardly bumps his fist. “Yeah you- you too, everyone, I mean- the whole team did good- worked good… today.”
“Totally,” Visi drawls, “I, for one, think we do our best work when Sir Moans-A-Lot forgets we can hear every little sound he makes. Don’t you think, Waterboy?”
“That’s enough.” Robert tries to sound stern, both for his own sanity and poor Waterboy’s obvious growing discomfort. “Leave everyone alone forever and go home.”
She makes an affronted noise, starting a backwards trek towards the back of the floor where Blazer’s office sits. “Forever. So, like, don’t come into work tomorrow?”
“That’s not what I- aaand she’s gone.” Robert shakes his head, glancing around for another second, trying to predict where she might still be in their vicinity. “Good riddance.” He gets an invisible flick in the ear for that. Robert then realizes Waterboy is still standing there, a small puddle gathering just outside his cubicle. “Sorry about her,” he apologizes even though everyone is used to Visi’s antics by now. “You alright, kid?”
“Hm?” Waterboy’s gaze flickers up from some indiscriminate point in between them. “Yeah- yes, sir, everything- I’m…” He takes a steeling breath, readying Robert for some kind of truth nuke. “I just wanted- I’m sorry for- about earlier. Going off- not responding… right away.”
Robert’s eyebrows furrow compassionately at Waterboy’s sincerity. “Don’t sweat it.” He double checks the computer is shut off and grabs his bag, almost bending over to grab Beef before remembering he left with Chase tonight. “Next time just give me a head’s up if you need a breather. No shame.”
Waterboy wrings his hands nervously. “Yes, of- of course, I’ll- I will… do that. Next- next time.”
Robert waits until a bit of calm returns to the younger man’s features before clapping him on the shoulder and telling him to get home safe.
“You- thanks! You- you too Rob- Robert!” He glances at the desk chair still askew enough to see the small space underneath before heading in the opposite direction of his dispatcher towards the locker room.
(Visi silently reappears behind the chair, shaking her inhaler with a smile on her face.)