Chapter Text
Batman created a chat!
Batman named the chat “Gotham City Vigilantes”!
Batman added 9 users!
Batman set 10 usernames!
Batman: Hello, everyone. This is the new app Oracle has made for more secure communication. This chat is meant to be used for professional conversations only.
Nightwing: That’s not going to happen
Oracle: This was the family chat, first, Bruce. This wasn’t made for professionalism
Batman: Oracle, Pleade
Spoiler: pleade
Nightwing: you’re not even on patrol yet and you’re already making typos
Red Hood: Pleade
Red Robin: Please
Red Robin: *Pleade
Black Bat: pleade
Red Hood: How the fuck did you manage to make a typo making fun of a typo?
Robin: Drake, your incompetence knows no bounds.
Red Robin: u suck
Spoiler changed Red Robin’s name to Cringefail
Cringefail: BITCH
Batman: Red Robin, please don’t swear.
Agent A: Language, Master Timothy.
Spoiler: Yeah Tim language
Cringefail: i do what i want, B. sorry Alfred
Cringefail: i hope you get shot, Syr]j Nrpwm
Nightwing: …timmy, when is the last time you slept?
Cringefail: none of your business
Spoiler: what even is that
Spoiler: LMAO IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE MY NAME???
Red Hood: I can make sure Syr]j gets shot!
Spoiler changed their name to Syr]j Nrpwm
Signal: I’m trying to sleep
Signal: why am i being spammed
Batman: Sorry, Signal. You could mute your notifications for the time being so you can sleep. I apologize.
Black Bat: (^▽^)/
Black Bat changed their name to /|\ ^._.^ /|\
Signal: hi cass!!!!
Cringefail: cass!!!
Nightwing: hi cassie!!!! :D
Syr]j Nrpwm: CASSSSS
Batman: Hello, Black Bat.
Robin: Hello, Cain.
Red Hood: Hey, Cass
/|\ ^._.^ /|\: <3 <3 <3
Batman: Everyone, we should not be using civilian names in the professional vigilante chat.
/|\ ^._.^ /|\: :(
Red Hood: Shut the fuck up, old man
Oracle: again, this was not made for professionalism. Stop it
Syr]j Nrpwm: B YOU MADE HER SAD
Robin: Father, that was cruel.
Cringefail: how DARE you make Cass sad. i’m locking you out of the Batcomputer
Signal: say goodbye to your kneecaps bitch boy
Syr]j Nrpwm: OH SHIT
Syr]j Nrpwm: Duke out for blood
Red Hood: Signal is my new favorite
Red Hood changed Batman’s name to Bitch Boy
Nightwing: damnnnnnn
Bitch Boy: Jason, please.
Cringefail: i thought you said no civilian names
Nightwing: pleade
Oracle: Pleade
Bitch Boy: Red Robin, please.
Agent A: Master Bruce, it may be best to give up this endeavor.
Cringefail: oh, so you’re just being open about your Jason favoritism now
Red Hood: Bitch, I am NOT the favorite
Cringefail: sure buddy
Robin: As the blood son and superior Robin, I am clearly the favorite.
Nightwing: dami, what have I said about this?
Bitch Boy: For the 6743rd time, I don’t have a favorite. I love you all equally.
Red Hood: Dickwing is CLEARLY the favorite
Nightwing: nuh uh???
Red Hood: Yuh huh???
Nightwing: i was an anklebiter of a child. you did your homework happily
Red Hood: And yet that never stopped you from being the favorite when it was just the two of us
Syr]j Nrpwm: I’m definitely not the favorite and I couldn’t be prouder
Signal: same
Cringefail: fair enough
Nightwing: i literally wasn’t even the living at the manor at that point, there wasn’t time for me to be the favorite
Cringefail: Jason is fs the favorite and no one can change my mind because im RIGHT
Robin: Wrong as always, Drake.
Cringefail: excuse me
Robin: Todd cannot be the favorite, as that position is already occupied.
Cringefail: hate to break it to you, brat, but youre def not the fave
Oracle: Red Robin down!
Bitch Boy: What? Where? Is he okay? What happened?
Bitch Boy: Who is closest and what is the ETA?
Signal: maybe Tim is the favorite based on that reaction
Syr]j Nrpwm: no hes not
Signal: you’re right
Oracle: False alarm, my bad. It was just Damian
Nightwing: wait what did dami do?
Cringefail: I was incorrect. Of course Father would prefer the blood son, Robin.
Oracle: he may or may not have stabbed RR
Syr]j Nrpwm: Lmao rip Tim
Bitch Boy: DAMIAN THOMAS AL GHUL WAYNE
Nightwing: dami whyyyy
Red Hood: Well, if the Demon Brat had any chance of being the favorite, it just went out the window
Robin: I do not know what she is referring to, Father
Bitch Boy: Alfred, prepare the med bay for when we can get Tim back here for treatment.
Cringefail: It was a misunderstanding. I have not been stabbed. There is no need to inform Pennyworth.
Nightwing: dami give tim his phone back
Cringefail: Why would Damian have my phone?
Signal: lmao he didn’t even attempt to change his talking style
Agent A: The medbay is prepared.
Cringefail: I am texdting in my normalf manner
Robin: bithc thats not how i type. B ur spawn is a peice of shit
Bitch Boy: Tim?
Agent A: Master Damian, you will help Master Timothy back to the cave and assist me.
Cringefail: That is unnecessary. I am fine.
Agent A: Damian.
Cringefail: We are on our way.
Syr]j Nrpwm: Oooo someone’s in troubleeee
Signal: ok but who IS the favorite
/|\ ^._.^ /|\: <—
Signal: yea that tracks