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He'd fallen slightly in love with the sound of a good rain shower—with the sound of small water droplets that softly trickled down from the roofline and dripped down the untreated woodwork. He'd gradually fallen for water droplets slowly sliding down plants against the white background noise of raindrops hammering down on the muddy forest floor. His favorite feeling in the universe was that of cold droplets slicking his dark brown hair flat against his scalp. Rainwater nestled itself in his eyebrows, clumping his eyelashes together. He could exist in the rain. For a moment, he was just far enough removed from everything that he no longer cared.
That he didn’t even care that he couldn't quite put his finger on what he was supposed to care about.
His boots slipped in the mud. The corners of his mouth pulled under the forgotten movements of his smile. He felt his skin crinkle around the corners of his tired eyes. His flight suit embraced his body, clinging to his skin. Droplets slid down his armor.
"Din?"
His muscles tensed. The white noise of the rain washed away against the sound of his name. He looked around, feeling called out.
The jetti stood leaning against a wooden pole sheltered from the rain by the canopy, his arms crossed.
Din tilted his head. Icy water slid under the collar of his flight suit. It trickled down his torso to his waistband, the wetness settling into the fabric.
"What are you doing?"
He frankly wasn’t sure, but it felt stupid to admit something like that to his son's teacher. It always felt stupid to admit something like that, no matter who had been the one to ask. He tilted his head back and looked up at the dark clouds. Thousands of translucent wet paragliders hammered down on him. They landed on the material of his armor with soft thuds, washing away his anger—his anxiety. He closed his eyes. The sounds of the forest melted into white noise. The water pounded on the leaves, the canopy, his pauldrons.
"Din."
He could feel that same tension settling in his body. He looked warily at Luke.
The jetti felt impossibly far away.
"Skywalker," he shot back.
Luke shook his head. A faint smile played on his lips. He must have known what he had gotten himself into. It hadn't taken Din more than three weeks before he’d inadvertently blurted out that he no longer knew where he belonged. He hadn't meant to say those words out loud, most of all not to his son's teacher, but they had been bouncing around in his head for so long that he hadn’t been able to keep them shielded from the world any longer.
There were more things he didn't know. In fact, he knew embarrassingly little.
Luke didn't care. Luke happily explained the intergalactic wars that had been fought between factions whose names Din still couldn't quite remember for a third time. Luke didn't laugh at him when he didn't know something. With Luke, he didn't have to pretend.
"Din," Luke grinned. "What are you doing?"
The rain drummed on the forest floor. Droplets slid from the top of Din’s head down his clothes. He shrugged. His feet slipped in the mud as he spun in circles with his arms outstretched.
The incomprehensible rage that had settled in his bones began to dissolve. He no longer felt the urge to clench his hands into fists pulling at his fingertips. With each drop that fell on him, the emptiness swirling in his gut slowly got refilled. He didn't know if it would prove to be his redemption or if he was slowly drowning in the rain.
"Din, please?" Luke tried. "Talk to me."
A droplet dangled from the tip of his nose. He shrugged resignedly. The new weight in his chest made it difficult to speak. He caught a few raindrops in his palms. "I'm taking a break," he said, his words deliberately chosen.
Luke nodded as if he understood. Din doubted he did. He didn't even understand himself most of the time.
He drank from the water he had collected in his hands. Some of the anxiety settled back into his body. The serene feeling from earlier had been partially washed away by the rain and was now carried away by the sound of falling water.
The raindrops rattled on the wooden canopy as he stepped out of the rain. Slowly, it dawned on his soaked body just how thoroughly wet he had gotten. He had no idea how long he had been outside, lingering in the rain, bathing in a white haze of sound.
"Let me." Luke wrapped a heavy towel around his shivering body and started rubbing slow circles into his back.
He let the blanket hang from his shoulders, his arms limp at his sides. They felt too heavy to still be of any use. "I'm so tired," he breathed.
Luke gently ran the towel over his face. He carefully wiped the wetness from his skin. "I know," he said.
The leather of Din’s gloves creaked. He dug his fingertips into his palms. The soft rustle of the rain trickled past the leaves to the forest floor. The mud bubbled, the sky wept.
A warm droplet slid down his dried-off cheek, catching in his beard. He stared out at the leaking forest. Luke's hands felt strange on his body. Tentative fingers unfastened the buckles of his armor. The wet Beskar plates were slowly lifted from his body until only his dripping undergarments were left.
He looked at the jetti. "I'll go," he said softly, as if he too didn't want to hear the words.
"I know," Luke whispered. "Today, or tomorrow. It doesn't matter."
"There’s something I need to find," he said. "I won't find it here."
Luke nodded. His presence felt calm against the backdrop of the rain. Din knew Luke could be furious, as furious as the churning water in an angry river beating its way down rocky terrain. Within minutes, Luke could pin him to the ground with his green lightsaber. Din felt surprisingly less angry in those moments—just the littlest bit less angry each time his back hit the ground.
He looked down at his clenched hands. He brushed his knuckles exploratorily along Luke's forearm. He hummed.
The rain beat down on the roof of the shelter. Droplets slid down the rough wood. The plates of his armor stood drying against the outer wall of the temple.
He couldn't imagine ever leaving this place.
His eyes sought out the sky.
He couldn't imagine staying here forever.