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Night had fallen; It’d only been a few hours since the afternoon, and Roy was still ecstatic. He’d been dreaming of catching the Black Rayquaza for years, almost his whole life, it was a good part of the reason he became a trainer. The Brave Olivine was buzzing with shared excitement, as Murdock was planning a big party to celebrate Roy’s dream being met.
Once the food had been set, everyone and their Pokemon were there, they’d all sat down and listened to Roy excitedly ramble on about his accomplishment, sounding much more like the kid he was only a year ago, and Liko had been nodding along and saying how she’d seen it happen as well, while the rest of the crew listened along… except one.
An empty seat, by Roy. Sableye and even Dragonite had been eating their meals that Murdock had prepared for them, though they both seemed a bit worried about their trainer’s absence. The only person that’d noticed at this point besides the Pokemon was Liko, but she didn’t want to go up to the observatory to bother Ult, since she had assumed he’d been having a rough go at it given how he’d almost broken down a few hours prior.
She’d noticed how he’d pulled himself together as soon as Roy noticed, and it reminded her quite a lot of her own habit to bottle things up, yet… she didn’t know how to start that conversation. She wasn’t that close with Ult; nobody really was, except for Roy. Meanwhile, Roy continued his excited retelling of the events, not noticing how Liko’d gotten lost in thought, or the empty seat beside him, he got all caught up in his own excitement like a kid would.
“And, just as a super big rock from the cliff nearby was about to crush Skeledirge, Ult had commanded Dragonite to save Skeledirge!! Though, poor Dragonite got knocked out from it.. But if he didn’t do that, I probably wouldn’t have been able to catch Rayquaza, haha!!” Roy said with a grin, noticing the older members fond grins as he rambled on like how he used to, and he stopped for a moment. “Actually..” He said, a fair bit quieter, “Where is Ult? He’s never late for dinner. He’d probably be able to say more about what happened today, if he was down here.. Sableye and Dragonite are here, but where is he?”
A small bit of worry had crawled into the boy's expression, and Liko chimed in “I was wondering that too. But, he seemed just fine when we were flying back. Should I go che-” She was quickly interrupted by Roy getting up, saying “I’m… I’m gonna go check on him. I’m worried about him.” He’d started making his way to the observatory, Dragonite and Sableye following behind him worriedly. The atmosphere on the airship was happy, buzzing with excitement, but it was far different in the observatory, where Ult sat quietly, deep in thought.
On the way back from the day’s endeavor, Ult had told Roy he’d be fine, and he’d been boasting about how he’d become legendary, just like his father. He told him not to worry, and Roy had his suspicions but left it at that, in the moment.
Yet.. Ult sat there, the whole scene of Sableye and Dragonite being knocked out replaying in his head, over and over and over again. He’d made a conscious decision in the moment, multiple times, to protect Roy’s Pokemon, to protect Roy’s chance at getting Rayquaza. Deep down, he knew he didn’t wish for it nearly as much as Roy had. That was Roy’s dream, and Ult.. He’d only grown interested in it due to Roy mentioning it. “A Black Rayquaza sounds mega-strong, so it’d be perfect for me!” He’d told himself over and over, yet, there was an itching thought in the back of his mind, especially over the past few months.
Roy had caught Lucario. Roy had caught the Black Rayquaza. Roy was better at everything Ult wanted to be better at. Even in the battle, Roy’d protected Ult’s Pokemon countless times, as if it was by mere reflex. Ult couldn’t even protect himself much, nor could he protect his Pokemon. How was he supposed to protect the ones dear to him if he’s constantly being the one protected? How was he supposed to protect others if he couldn’t protect himself?
How was he supposed to protect others when, recently, it felt like he couldn’t do anything at all? Anyone he wished to protect was always so much better at protecting themselves and others than he could ever protect them. Roy, Emma, even Sableye and Dragonite, they’re always looking out for him, or.. At least it felt like it.
Dragonite had hidden in its ball for years. He only recently learned how to understand his Sableye. He hadn’t seen Emma in over a year. And Roy… even though he doesn’t ditch Ult anymore, he still seemed so much better off without him in the way all the time. “Can.. Can I even do anything?” He thought once more, as he curled his knees to his chest, curling himself into a ball, as if he could disappear and not worry about any of this.
He told Roy not to worry about him. But.. he wished he did. He wished he would see past his bullshit, he wished he’d read him like a book like he always did. The one time he listened to Ult, was the one time where Ult wished more than ever that he didn’t. But, deep down, he truly felt like he didn’t deserve that kind of worry. Roy was like a light to Ult, no matter how distorted that light was towards him at times, or how bright it was at others.
He’d felt a scratch at his arm, and he lifted his head slightly to see a worried Sableye sitting right up next to him, his partner clearly worried. Dragonite had sat down on the other side of where he was sitting, resting its head on his. It’d felt almost like when he was little, when his father would pull him close and tell him to not worry. The feeling was both reassuring, but he was snapped out of his thoughts when he noticed he was not the only person in the room.
Roy’d been silent when he walked in, noticing Ult’s body language, and wondering if he should leave. Usually, any time Ult ended up vulnerable around him, he’d tell him to go away, but not this time. Roy hesitantly sat in front of Ult, putting a hand on his shoulder, and saying nothing more than a concerned “You wanna talk about it? I was worried when I didn’t see you at dinner, you never miss that.”
Dragonite and Sableye shared a worried glance before returning to their Poke-Balls, acknowledging Roy’s presence and wanting to let them be. Ult buried his face back into his knees, feeling his eyes sting. He didn’t wanna cry now, especially not now, not in front of him, while Roy’s frown deepened at the sight of Ult trying to hide away from him, from his own feelings, and he broke the stretch of silence by saying “You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want to. I won’t force you to say anything you don’t want to, I.. I’ve been trying to be a better friend to you, after all.”
Ult tensed up a bit at his words, he was clearly listening. It felt as if Roy had read his mind. The other boy continued to fill the silence with his concerns, noticing Ult’s behavior; “..But, above all else.. I’m not going to leave. I’ll sit here in silence with you if you don’t want to talk, or I can talk to clear the silence. But.. you clearly shouldn’t be alone, I can tell.”
“I’m assuming this is about this afternoon, and.. I saw you crying before you turned to face me with a smile before. You don’t have to do that, I know you too well for that, Ult.” Roy said, hesitantly reaching out to put a hand on the other boy’s shoulder, noting how he flinched. Ult took a deep breath, his eyes stinging once more, but he lifted his head up and looked at Roy, his lip trembling. Roy locked eyes with him, his gaze softening at Ult’s expression. He resembled more of a scared Deerling than the boy he’d known to be so proud and bold, and the sight made Roy’s eyes sting as well.
He’d never admitted to himself how much he did care for Ult, no matter how badly he showed it. Seeing the boy he knew so well act like the polar opposite of himself.. It hurt him as well. He felt selfish for feeling so bad, because he had assumed that he was the source of his anguish. Roy had snatched one of Ult’s dreams right from his eyes, though Ult had given up his chance willingly in battle, and Ult protected him.
“Why are you lookin’ at me like that?” Ult muttered in not much more than a whisper, and Roy snapped out of his thoughts and said quietly “‘Like that?’ I’m worried about you, dude. I don’t like seeing you like this. And.. I know that might be kinda insensitive given the situation, but.. You told me not to worry, but I’m gonna worry anyway.”
“What I’m trying to say is.. I wanna help you feel better. Because I think you should be proud of how you did today. You went all in on trying to help me defeat Rayquaza, even if that meant throwing away your own chance at catching it, you threw away a chance at your own dream to help me meet mine.” Roy pulled his hand back from Ult’s shoulder, looking him straight in the eyes as he continued.
“A while ago, you’d sworn that you’d protect me, and protecting me is exactly what you did, as well as protecting the chance for me to reach my dream. You… I’m thanking you. I don’t see why you’re beating yourself up over this, when you helped me reach the dream I’ve had for so long. You’ve been by my side for a while, Ult, and yet I used to ditch you all the time. You’re one of the best friends I have, and.. I wish I could help you as much as you helped me today.” he said as his voice cracked, because he was on the verge of tears as much as Ult was.
Ult blinked dumbfoundedly, watching the person who literally inspired him to start his own journey profess his thanks so sincerely. The boy who’d been like a light for him for so long, being grateful to him. Ult always claimed how he was “so much stronger”, but he truly admired the boy he called his rival, the boy he dared to call a friend.
Ult didn’t see anything he did today as extraordinary in the slightest; but.. The thought that he helped Roy meet his goal made him feel a little bit better, despite it all. His eyes stung once more, thinking about how his dream of protecting people that he thought of as so far off, was right at his fingertips all along. The words Lacey had offered him while training at Blueberry Academy rang through his head, how wanting to protect others is an act of kindness within itself, and suddenly Roy’s words made more sense to him.
But.. he wanted to correct Roy on one thing. Roy had given him such high praise, when he truly felt he didn’t deserve it. So, with a voice slightly trembling, Ult said “You’re wrong about one thing, though. You’re the one who’s been helpin’ me. Roy, I… I don’t know how to say it any better, but you’re… someone I’d admired for so long. So, of course I want to protect you!” Roy’s eyes widened quickly, feeling his face warm up at the other boy’s words, despite the situation. He felt like Ult had more to say, so he kept his mouth shut and listened intently.
Ult continued, taking a deep breath, ”And.. I’m glad you think I helped ya’, my priority the whole time was protectin’ you. The Black Rayquaza’s been your dream for forever, so I shouldn’t have been the one feeling all down in the dumps over you catchin’ it. I can become the mega-strongest some other way, and, like I said, it suits you.” Ult lifted his head up fully, glancing away upon realizing how much he’d just admitted to Roy’s face, and his own face began to burn.
The air had changed a fair bit, more full of sincerity than the prior tense atmosphere, and both Roy and Ult had sat there, avoiding each other’s gazes, trying to avoid mentioning what they’d both just admitted to one another. Roy’d glance back at Ult, notice his reddening face, and glance away once more. “At the very least, he seems in a better mood.. He looked like he was about to cry earlier, and I was about to too, probably..” He thought to himself, though the words Ult had said earlier lingered in his mind.
He admired him? The mere thought made his face burn more, and so he took a deep breath and turned to face Ult once more. He leaned in and looked him right in the eyes, no matter how much faster it made his heart beat, and he said cheekily “So.. you admire me?”
Ult straightened up, not being able to look away due to his proximity, and he sputtered out “Well.. well like, yeah, I mean.. I mean, that’s what I said. You, uhh.. don’t mind, do ya? I assume you wanted me to be honest with you, and.. It just kinda slipped in the moment, my bad.”
Roy expected him to get all flustered and brush him off, not stand on what he said, and it was his turn to tense up, before clearing his throat and saying with a nervous chuckle “It’s, uhh.. Not bad, not bad at all! It’d explain how you act underneath that Mr. Tough Guy facade you got going on, but.. I always thought you were just a softie. I never imagined that was the reason, y’know?”
He took a deep breath and said, more sincerely, “But.. you have technically told me before that I was someone who was dear to you, and.. Well, you’re very dear to me as well. That’s why I was so worried. I dropped pretty much everything to come up here and check on you.” A small smile had made its way only Roy’s face, he was glad he could finally be so honest with Ult.
Ult didn’t sputter or stutter like usual, he just looked at Roy with a look akin to something of admiration, or.. awe. His face burned, his heart raced, but he just stared for a moment, in sheer disbelief that Roy truly meant that, towards him. After a moment, he took a deep breath and laughed to himself before lunging at Roy into a hug, a big grin on his face.
Roy was caught off guard but steadied himself before hugging him back tightly, and saying with a grin of his own, “I take it you’re feeling a bit better now? I guess I was right in calling you a softie.”
He took a deep breath, his smile widening before saying cheekily, clearly joking “What, are you gonna tell me you love me next?” as Ult stiffens up, and pulls his head back to say “Of course not, in your DREAMS, 'cuz that’d be mega-embarrassing for me..” He trailed off before inhaling sharply and saying with a grin, just as cheeky as Roy’s, “... That is, if I was lyin’ that I didn't.”