Chapter Text
His heart ached.
Barely a day had passed since Maruki had been defeated. It was the morning after, the pale rays of sunlight peeking through the dusty curtains. Akira was curling up as his chest felt about to rip open, and he could barely breathe due to the pain.
Akechi was gone.
Tears ran down from his eyes to his pillow, and even if he could hear Morgana and feel the pressure of his paws, all of the pain he bottled up to enjoy his final days had finally caught up.
He was unable to keep it inside any longer, but at the same time, Akira felt the need to cover his mouth and partially muffle the agonizing screams of how badly it hurt.
It hurt so much he wondered if dying would bring relief.
Maybe then they could meet again.
Months had passed since then.
Akira felt like a grieving widow.
Each day he hoped it would hurt less, and each day he found himself mistaken once again. All that changed was how he learned to exist through the massive pain. When he talked, he felt like choking. When he breathed, it felt like dust. Food lacked taste, the world lacked color.
Now back to his hometown, he would go to school, work and go back to his empty and modest apartment. Although he was back, after all he had been through, his parents helped him get somewhere to live alone. And that he was.
Morgana was a great friend, as he always was, and always tried his best to soothe some of the pain... But it was still unbearable. At least now he could smile, nod and pretend he was ok.
And every night he would dream of him again.
His smile, his laughter, his manic screams, his ruthlessness, his softness. Akira wondered what would've changed if he realized he was in love sooner. He yearned for him, he desired him close, his presence, company, approval... By the time he realized how much he wanted Akechi and what it really meant... It was gone. All that he had left was a glove and a scarf he managed to hold on to before the Palace crumbled completely.
Akira rubbed the back of his hand against his eyes, pushing up the glasses — that he decided to keep wearing even after all that happened— in the process. The coffee shop was busy and bustling with afternoon customers, so he had little time to sulk. He was, of course, the barista. And although he missed Le Blanc dearly, it wasn't half bad to work at Mew Mew's. Not only they had good coffee, he could bring Morgana and have him roam around the place while keeping him company during the days he wished to tag along.
But, one of the days he didn't join Akira at work, he developed a silly habit.
It wasn't unusual for him to take a moment to breathe, hiding inside the staff's bathroom to compose himself again. That day, he decided to fish his phone out of his pocket and... Send Akechi a message.
I miss you so much you'd call me pathetic .
Send. Not received, the single check mark silently declared. Of course it wasn't, without its owner, who'd charge it? He then proceeded to send a few more messages, mostly repeating how he missed him, how life felt empty without him, how he... No, that was the kind of thing he could only confess in person, so he'd die with the feeling. Error sending. A time-out notification brought him back to reality, and he felt... Slightly better. It had helped a bit, to pretend to talk to him.
It turned into a habit.
It didn't take long for him to grow used to talking to himself on Akechi's DMs. He told him about his day, his chores, his grocery lists, his test results, books he'd been reading... Everything but confessing his true feelings. He even felt like he started healing, at some point. It still hurt like hell was imploding inside his chest, but at least he could pretend like he still had him.
One day, Akira laid down in his bed, Morgana curled up against his stomach, and he sent Akechi some messages.
Hey, sorry for the late messages today.
It was so busy at work, can you believe that one cat I named after you scratched me today?
You'd have loved her so much. I bet she'd love you as well.I guess I never asked you if you were more of a cat or dog person, but somehow I can see you having a bunny. But like, a Monty Python bunny.
I miss you.
It still hurts like hell.
Tomorrow I have to get some more potatoes for curry, it's Friday so it's tuna day for Morgana, and I also need to replenish my stock of that blend you loved.
I miss brewing your coffee for you. Did you know I have it every morning? It was never my favorite, but I have it because the smell reminds me of your smile when you drank it.
I miss you everyday.
As he wrote, quiet tears rolled out of his eyes, damping his pillow. He smiled though, the memory was painfully warm. After turning off the screen, he put his phone aside and closed his eyes, just focusing on remembering him and every moment they shared until he fell asleep.
The time-out notification didn't light up his screen this time. Each message had a double check by morning.
While you're at the market, you should also get some apples!
He had been awake for like, one minute, and already he was in a cold sweat. The message, a message from Akechi's number, made him start shaking and sit up so fast Morgana almost got yeeted to the other side of the bed. His gray eyes couldn't believe what the phone showed him, and yet, there it was.
It's been months, you idiot. His number is probably someone else's now. Did you think it would be available forever? Don't be stupid.
So, that was it? His only source of escape and relief just gone like that? Like Akechi himself? His eyes watered, and he decided the least he could do was apologize to the new owner. He got some weird messages from a complete stranger after all.
I'm really sorry, I thought this number was off. Those were meant for the previous owner, I apologize for the disturbance.
The cellphone was put down, and the bitterness of the number already being reassigned caught up to him. Akira should've known better than to expect it to be at his disposal forever.
Feeling even more lonely than ever before, he left the phone behind and went to the bathroom to begin the day. He had his daily cup of coffee and some leftover curry— a habit he kept even after coming back— and served some food for Morgana as well. They ate, talked superficially about the Friday plans, and then Akira went back to change clothes.
All done and ready for another sorrowful day, he shoved the phone inside his pocket and left.
Most of the day went by without him thinking about anything. Maybe, after the shock of receiving a reply, he turned numb towards everything else. Work went by, the path home went by, and he only dared pick up his phone again to... check his list. He opened the, formerly, Akechi’s conversation.
I don't mind it, you can keep sharing your grocery lists with me even if I wasn't the intended person.I still think you should add some apples.
Are you alright?
Akira stared at the screen before entering the store. Should he reply? It was small talk, maybe that person was bored out of their mind to indulge in such a weird kind of message. Quick taps, a simple reply. He wouldn't want to be rude to the cheery stranger.
Thank you. I really feel bad about bothering you. Apples are not a bad idea, though, I might get a few. I'm doing great, never better. And you?
What was he even doing at this point? Indulging a stranger? Distracting himself? He should just delete that number already. Akechi was gone, those messages were from someone else. How stupid could he be?
Never better? That's very impressive, my good… Sir? Miss? Ser? Esteemed stranger
At least the person wasn't pretending not to be curious as to who was on the other side. Akira had a small basked resting on his arm, having placed inside most of what he intended to get.
Subtle way to inspect me. Sir is too formal though, I'm not old or anything
He should just drop it.
And how about you?
Why was he still replying? He walked to the fruits aisle, picking up a bag of apples and adding it to his basket. Did Akechi like apples? Akira got in line to pay, two people between him and the cashier. A buzz, he unlocked his phone to read.
Same here. You don't write like someone too young though, maybe a high-schooler? I realized I forgot to answer, but I'm also doing fine.
Akira typed a quick response.
You could tell just by my writing? Impressive
I'm almost going home now, waiting for my turn to pay Are you up to anything?
This time he shoved the phone back inside his pocket, proceeding to pay for his groceries and leave. Until he got home, he didn't reach for it, and once he arrived it was time to make some dinner.
— Took you long enough! Did you get my tuna?
Akira smiled as the bag of groceries was placed over the kitchen counter.
— Of course, I'd never forget your Friday Fatty Tuna, Morgana. How do you want it today? Raw?
— Hmmm... — The feline jumped on the counter, sitting at the corner and meowing in response. — I think I want it roasted today. I like those seasonings you use!
— Ok then, I'll heat up some leftovers for me while your tuna is in the oven.
A gentle pat on Morgana's head, and then Akira got himself busy. The tuna was seasoned, but he always held back a bit. Although Morgana was special, he wouldn't want to risk it. Once that was done, he heated up some curry and rice, and sat to read his messages.
I may have a knack for guessing. I'm not doing much, just handling work related matters. I'll share that I've been away for a while, so things accumulated, and there's a lot of catching up to do now.
Something moved the bag he brought the groceries in. He looked at it, and Morgana was just looking into it and pushing things aside with his paw.
— Apples? Will you make the curry version where you use those? It's been a while since the last time you tried that.
— I don't know yet, someone just recommended I get some, and it felt like a good idea. I can also try baking a pie, we have a nice recipe at work.
— Apple pie! — He jumped in excitement. — I love apple pie! I haven't had it since we visited that buffet, it was great! Can we have ice cream with it too?
— Ice cream? Sure, why not? If I decide to go through with it, I'll be sure to get some.
— Yay! — Morgana purred, a feline smile with both eyes closed. — A shame we can't call Lady Ann to try it, I miss it when we were all in Tokyo.
— I miss it too, buddy. When I get a day off I'll see if we can visit them, how does that sound? — While they talked, he checked for new messages again. It wasn't like him to check his phone this much, but he was dealing with so many confusing feelings that all he could really think of was checking for messages from that guy. It was only then he realized he left him on read .
Sorry, I got home and prepared dinner
Why was he even apologizing?
That sounds important. You sound important, really I hope you're able to get things in order Did something happen to you?
— I think it would be a good chance to see our friends, but... Well... — Morgana paced until he was closer, sitting and tilting his head down a bit. — ... I mean, it's ok if you're not ready to go back there yet.
It sucked a little bit to know how obvious it was that he was struggling with Akechi's death. His phone buzzed and his heart skipped a beat. He offered Morgana an honest smile.
— I think it would be nice to come back and see them. It'll be hard too, but... That's what friends are for, right? The good and the bad times?
Morgana meowed in a cheerful tone, headbutting Akira's shoulder.
— It is. I got your back, I'm sure they do too.
— Look, I think it's done. Let's have some dinner.
They dined, the air a little clearer now. Morgana was a good friend and a great cat, so it actually improved his mood to have his company. It even took him longer to check his messages.
Aren't you a curious one? Maybe I'll tell you, but right now it feels a bit much, honestly. And I was incapacitated for a while, out of action for good. Had an unsolicited vacation, in a way. What do you work with?
Akira had just finished eating, having Morgana with all his paws spread out and a belly full of tuna on the couch. He smiled at the sight, resting his face against his palm. Somehow, that stranger brought some comfort. Akira was obviously projecting, and getting himself into some more unhealthy coping, but that man sounded like Akechi a little bit.
— Akira:
Curiosity it the foundation of a healthy and promising high-schooler, wouldn't you agree?
And that's fair, I'm sorry for asking too much
I'm glad you're better, that must've been tough
And I work at a cat café, it's nice but I miss my previous jobs
— ???:
You do have a point there, hard to argue with such logic.
Well, I admit it wasn't as bad as it could have been since I was out of it during most of it... However, noble stranger, the worst thing was rehabilitation. I'm not... Fully back yet, slightly benched at the moment.
How should I address you? It's weird not having something to call the other person. It would be weird to save you as "sweet stranger".
Sweet? He sounded sweet? He covered his mouth with his hand, staring at the screen.
"Why the fuck not?"
— Akira:
You can call me Joker, if you'd like
And I'm sorry that happened, hope the rest of the rehab goes swiftly
What do you want me to call you? If you really feel like keeping up with this
— ???:
Joker? That's quite unique, I'll have to pick something cool as well.
Hero, maybe?
And I don't see why not, even if it sounds strange. You also sounded like you could use some replies to your messages.
Am I correct to assume you lost someone, Joker?
... Yes, Akira forgot he was dead-wife-texting Akechi's number. And saying how much he missed him. A sigh.
— Akira:
Well, Hero, you assumed correctly
Technically, a little over two years ago
— Hero:
Technically?
— Akira:
It's complicated
— Hero
I do beg your pardon, but how can someone "technically" be gone?
— Akira
I might tell you someday
It's a weird story
Are you going to bed?
— Hero:
I hardly rest before 3 AM.
And I'll remember that, if we keep talking.
Weirdly, I ended up "talking" more than usual with you. I wonder why that is.
Maybe your initial message softened me.
— Akira:
Well, I'm very embarrassed for anyone witnessing me being pathetic, but at least you found it sweet
It felt bizarre that someone replied with his number, but at least you sound nice
And that's so late, I usually go to bed at 10 PM
— Akechi:
How are you not 80 years old? That's terribly early.
And I also find that puzzling, this number never had an owner other than myself, and you seemed to have it saved.
— Akira:
I just like waking up early to work out and cook breakfast before work, nothing much
And that sounds weird because I still have my whole messaging history with him in this very window
I'm 100% sure this was his number
— Hero
Makes me wonder what his name was.
— Akira
Maybe I'll tell you some other day
But for now, it's a little past my bedtime
I hope you get some rest, Hero
— Hero
I hope you have a nice night of rest as well, Joker.