Chapter Text
Doll smirked. “[I’ll-]”
“Just take it,” her companion snapped, throwing the property card at her and grabbing some of her money, filing it away in the bank. “I swear it’s some sort of religious thing for you. Not once have you not bought Park Place.”
Doll shrugged. “[It pisses you off, doesn’t it?]”
“Fuck you, mate.”
Doll braced herself.
“Wait, no. That’s Lizzy’s job.”
The board was flipped onto Tessa’s face, who cackled as pieces flew.
“[If you value your life, you will stop making that joke.]”
Tessa winked. “Already dead - so I’ve got nothin’ to do but tease you relentlessly. Seriously, you should’ve asked her out. It’s kind of pathetic. You would never catch me-”
Doll raised an eyebrow. “[Serial Designation J.]”
Tessa’s face flushed. “Ohhh, I regret telling you about that.”
“[As you should.]”
Tessa sighed, glancing over at Cyn, who had been flickering in and out of view for a while. “What’d’ya think she’s doin?”
“[Causing chaos, probably,]” Doll grumbled. “[I still don’t understand why she is able to access the real world and we cannot. What is so special about them?]”
“So that she can use violence as a coping mechanism? I dunno.” Tessa shrugged. “I wish she would tell us what she’s up to.”
“[I don’t really want to know about their twisted idea of a prank.]” Doll turned the board right-side up again, rearranging the pieces. “[Go again?]”
Tessa groaned. “We’ve played Monopoly one-hundred and seventy-nine times since you got here.”
“[Well, we’ve played ninety-five rounds of chess. Not counting the three times that Cyn accidentally knocked all the pieces off the board.]”
Tessa let out an unnaturally long groan that sounded like a door creaking open in a horror movie. “Who knew being dead would be so boring? Maybe we could-”
“[We’ve played Uno two-hundred and thirty times.]”
“Right. Fuck. War?”
“[Twenty-four. I hate that game.]”
Tessa dragged her hands through her hair. “...Battleship?”
“[One-hundred thirty-five.]”
The human flopped backwards, wishing there was a physical floor in the headspace that she could bash her head into. “I hate it here.”
“[You and me both,]” Doll sighed. “[What if we… invent a game?]” Tessa cracked an eye open. “I’m listening.”
Doll tapped a finger against her metal thigh. “[We could… use the Uno cards instead of dice for Monopoly. Whatever number you draw is the amount of spaces you go. If you get a draw card, you can choose from however many you have to draw which distance you want to move.]”
Tessa sat up. “That is… not a terrible idea. What about Wildcards?”
Doll shrugged. Tessa furrowed her brow.
“Maybe you can jump to wherever the other player is?”
“[Sure. And instead of the Monopoly cards, we could use ones from that trivia game you like. If you answer correctly, you can draw another Uno.]”
Tessa held up her hands in front of her. “A human and a Worker Drone are assimilated into a hivemind and get so bored they make up a card game. That’s the worst joke I’ve ever heard.”
“[Technically it would be a board game. Just with a lot of cards.]”
Tessa sighed. “Yeah, but I didn’t wanna say bored and then board. It would’ve sounded weird.”
Cyn came back into focus hours later, signifying that she had exited Uzi Doorman’s tail. She was very confused at the sight of what their companions were doing.
“What are you… playing, Big Sisters?”
Tessa grinned. “Monopolized Uno for Trivia Buffs. Name pending approval.”
“[Approval denied. We are not calling it that.]” Doll rolled her eyes. “[Also, you owe me five hundred dollars.]”
“Fffuck. How are you still beating me? You haven’t gotten any of the questions right!” Tessa forked it over as she complained.
“[I am simply the best at everything.]”
“Confused expression. Criss-cross applesauce.” Cyn sat down. “You have… invented, a game?”
“Yup!” Tessa grinned. “See, you use the Uno cards to decide where you go, and then if you land on these buggers-” she pointed to the Chance and Treasury squares “-you have to answer a question. And we also incorporated the chess pieces, so if you land on Free Parking you have the chance to upgrade your piece. Each different piece has a special thing it can do once every two times around the board. The knights-”
“I. Understand.” Cyn tilted their head, resting it on their hand. “Why?”
“[Why what?]” Doll snapped. She still wasn’t too fond of Cyn, although she had definitely softened once she understood that this little drone was not the monster that had terrorized her.
“Head shake. Never mind. I do not… understand you two.”
“We’re a mystery,” Tessa agreed cheerfully. “And Doll, that’ll be three hundred.”