Chapter Text
Day 1
Dennis noticed the email three times before it actually sinks in.
Subject line: Mandatory Occupational Health Screening – Annual Update.
He almost deleted it tho. The hospital sends out a million of those notices, vaccines, blood titers, TB screenings. Usually they wer quick, impersonal things done by occupational health.
Except this one says inhouse procedures will be conducted by attending physiciana.
Dennis frowns, leaning back in his chair in the residents’ workroom. The hum of fluorescent lights fills the silenc.
He scrolled, blood panel, urine sample, and then
STI screening (swab / smear depending on anatomy).
Dennis’ stomach dropped, he reads the line again. And again. Like maybe it will rearrange itself into something less horrifying.
It doesnt
“Dennis?”
He alost flinched at the sudden voice, Dr. Robby is leaning against the doorway, coffee in hand, sleeves rolled up like always. Calm. Casual. Completely unaware that Dennis’ entire nervous system just short-circuited. Robby nods toward th computer. “You see the occupational health notice yet?”
Dennis looked back at the computer, then at Robby "Yeah"
Robby steps inside, sipping his coffee. “Annoying, but administration says we’re overdue. Apparently it’s faster if attendings do the swabs ourselves instead of sending everyone downtairs.”
Dennis’ fingers slowly curl against the edge of the desk. “Faster,” he echoes faintly.
Robby glances at the screen. “You’re scheduled with me tomorrow morning actually.”
Dennis’ heart stpps. Robby keeps talking, completely normal.
“Just standard stuff,” he says. “Urine test, throat swab, and if you’re sexualy active they usually do the urethral smear too,”
Dennis’ brain slams into that word. Urethral.
Robby says it so casually. So matter-of-fact. Like there is absolutely no universe where Dennis might have… anything else.Because of course he asumes Dennis has a penis. Why wouldn’t he?
Dennis has never told anyone. Not the hospital. Not his coworkers. Not Robby. Nobody knew.
Dennis manages a thin smile.“Oh,” he says.
Robby nods. “Five minute thing. I’ll grab the kit tomorrow.” And just like that, he leaves.
Dennis stares at the email, not really knowing what to do, should he tell him? Should he decline? Should he die?
˚⟡˖ ࣪
That night Dennis barely sleept. Because the problem isn’t just the test. The problem is how the test works.
He knows exactly how it works. He’s a doctor. He’s done STI panels on patients before.There are different kits.
Male kits.
Female kits.
If someone has a cervix, They need a Pap smear.
A vaginal swab. A speculum.
Dennis presses his face into his pillow. Because Robby clearly expects the male version. He said urethral smear.
Which means tomorrow morning Robby will walk into the exam room with the wrong kit… expecting to perform a procedure that Dennis physically cannot have.
Which means Dennis will have to say it.
Out loud.
'Actually, I’m trans.'
The words feel impossible.Dennis has worked at this hospital for two years. Two years of carefully controlled information. Neutral locker room timing. Dodging medical history conversations. Filling out forms strategically.
No one asked. He never told. It was easier that way.
Until now.
Because tomorow morning Dr. Robby, his attending, his mentor, the person Dennis maybe possibly disastrously has feelings for, is going to ask him to drop his pants and perform a procedue that assumes the wrong anatomy.
Dennis curls tighter under the blankets. “God,” he hispers. He has no idea how he’s going to say it.
˚⟡˖ ࣪
The next morning arrives far too fast. Dennis spends twenty minutes staring at himself in the mirror.
Same person as always. Same short hair. Same scrubs. Same name badge.
Dr. Dennis Whitaker
No one looking at him would guess. Which was the point. Except now it feels like a ticking clock.
He checks his watch.
8:57 AM.
His appointment is at 9. Dennis considers simply… not going. Pretending he forgot. Calling in sick.
Fleeing the country.
Instead, he forces his legs to move.
˚⟡˖ ࣪
The exam room is small and sterile. Dennis sits on the edge of the table, heart racing.
He stares at the floor. Every sound in the hallway makes him jump.
And then,
The door opens. “Morning,” Robby says.
Dennis looked up. Robby was wearing gloves and holding a small tray.
Dennis’ stomach twisted
Because sitting on the tray is a male STI kit.
Urine cup, Urethral swab, Exactly like Dennis feared. Robby shuts the door with his foot.
“Sorry this is awkward,” he said easily. “Administration’s idea, not mine.” he forced his usual easygoing smile as he sat.
Dennis tried to laugh, It came out strangled.
Robby set the tray down. “Alright,” he mumbled. “We’ll just do the quick screening. You already did the urine sample?”
Dennis nods weakly.
“Good. Then we just need the swab.” Robby reached for the kit.
Dennis’ chest tightens, he has to say something.
Now.
Before Robby starts explaining the procedure. Before he asks him to strip and present his 'penis"
“Dr. Robby-” His voice embrrassingly cracked
Robby paused immediately, he looked up at the younger man, brows furrowed ever so slightly. Hey,” he says gently. “You okay?”
Dennis’ hands are shaking.
This is it.
This is the moment.
Say it.
Just say it.
Dennis opens his mouth, nothing comes out, embarrassing. Robby frowns “whitaker?"
Dennis stares at the tray, At the swab, At the male kit.
“I-” he starts. His voice dirs again. Robby set the swab down slowly, His tone softens, obviously sensing how tense and nervous the kid was.
“Take your time.”
Dennis presses his palms into his knees.
God, this is humiliating, he’s a doctor, heshould be able to say a simple sentence. Instead he feels like he might throw up.“Dr. Robby,” he tries again.
“Yes?”
Dennis forces himself to look up, he met the older doctors brown eyes. Robby’s expression is calm. Patient.
Waiting.
Dennis swallowed hard, finally managing words “You… uh…” He gestured vaguely at the tray. “The kit.”
Robby glanced down “Yeah?”
Dennis’ voice drops to almost a whisper. “That’s… the male one.” he doesn't know how else to even say it
Robby blinks “Yes,” he says slowly. “It’s the standard panel for male staff.”
Dennis nods weakly “I know.”
Silence stretches, Robby studies him.Then something in his expression shifts, Concern deepens.
“Dennis,” he says carefully. “Is there something you need to tell me about the screening?”
Dennis’ throat tightneed, this is it, there is no way around it anymore. His voice is barely audible “I… can’t do that test.”
Robby’s brow furrows deeper “Why not?” Dennis is just praying for him to understand somehow without him having to say it out loud.
Dennis looks doqn at his hands, his fingers are trembling “Because,” he says quietly.
A long pause.
Dennis forces the words out “I’m trans.” The room goes completely silent at that, uncomfortable, his heart is slamming against his ribs too hard.
Dennis feels like the air has been sucked out of his lungs. He stares at the floor, unable to look up. Waiting for confusion, for awkward questions, for rejection, for anything he dreaded.
But instead, Robby speaks very softly “Okay.” Dennis blinked at that, he looked up, Robby isn’t shocked, he's not staring, he's just.... listening.
“Thank you for telling me,” Robby says.
Dennis’ shoulders tense “You’re not… surprised?” Robby tilts his head slightly. “Should I be?”
Dennis lets out a shaky laugh. “I mean… most people are.”
Robby shrugs lightly. “People’s bodies come in different configurations,” he says. “That’s medicine.”
Dennis stares at him, Robby’s voice remains calm. So,” he continues gently. “The kit is wrong.”
Dennis nods. “Yes.”
Robby glances at the tray, then back at Dennis “Do you need a cervical screening instead?”
Dennis’ ears burn “Yeah.”
"Pap smear?”
“…yeah.”
Robby nods once “Okay." Just like that.
No drama, no weird reaction. Just… a medical adjustment.
Robby reaches for the tray “I’ll grab the correct kit.”
Dennis watches him, stunned, before leaving, Robby pauses at th door, He looks back.
“And Dennis?”
Dennis freezes.
"Yes?”
Robby’s voice is qarm “You didn’t do anything wrong by not telling people,” he says. “That’s your decision.”
Dennis’ chest tightens unexpectedly.
Robby adds gently "But I’m glad you told me now.” Then he leaves.
Dennis sits there, heart racing, relief floods his body so suddenly he almost feels dizzy.
It’s not over yet.The exam still has to happen. And somehow that might be even more nerve-wracking now, because Robby knows.
And he was kind about it, Which somehow makes Dennis feel even more exposed.
A few minutes later the door opens again, Robby walks in with a new tray.
This time
A speculm kit, Pap smear swab, The correct equipment.
Robby sets it down quietly “Alright,” he says softly. “We’ll do this the standard way.”
Dennis nods nervously, Robby noticed immediately, glancing at him with those kind eyes “You look like you’re about to bolt.”
Dennis lets out a weak laugh. “I might.”
Robby leans against the counter “Dennis,” he says gently. “I perform pelvic exams all the time. This isn’t weird for me.”
Dennis fiddled with his fingers almost nervously "It is for me.”
“That’s fair.”
A small silence, Then Robby adds, “We can go slow.”
Dennis’ chest tightens again “Okay.”
Robby gestures toward the exam table “Whenever you’re ready.”
Dennis stood up, his legs felt lije jelly, He pulls the privacy curtain and changes, climbing onto the table, Paper crinkling under him.
God this is mortifying.
A moment later Robby returns, Professional, calm, He snaps his gloves on “Alright,” he says gently. “I’m going to explain everything before I do it.”
Dennis nods gratefully, Robby’s voice is steady “You’ll feel the speculum first. Pressure but no pain ideally. Then I’ll collect the cervical sample. Whole thing takes maybe thirty seconds.”
Dennis exhales slowly “Okay.”
Robby moves closer “Ready?”
Dennis nods. He felt the speculum slide in, cold, uncomfortable, it wasn't his first exam, but it felt off every time, now that it was Robby, his attending...and his dreams. It felt way worse.
Robby guides the speculum into place with practiced ease. His other hand rests lightly on your inner thigh, keeping you steady without being overly controlling.
"Deep breath in," he instructs, voice low and calm.
The metal presses cool against Dennis' entrance before he begins to gently spread the blades.
"There. Now hold still."
Dennis took a sharp breath as he gripped the gown, not how he would imagine Robby's first time inside him.
Robby pauses, adjusting his grip slightly as he notes Dennis' tension. His gaze flicks back up to his, cool, asessing.
"You're clenching. Unhelpful."
A beat, then his voice drops into something softer, just barely, almost coaxing "Ease up, Dennis. The faster you relax, the faster we’re done."
His thumb beushes once, briefly, against Dennis' thigh, not quite comfort, but close enough.
Dennis breathes deeply, helping relax his muscles as he closed his eyes, he wanted this to be done quick.
Robby waits a moment, watching the tension gradually leave his body before continuing. There's a subtle shift in his expression.
"That's better." He murmurs, his words a quiet praise more for dennis than himself.
"Just keep breathing. You're doing good."
The speculum slides in a little deeper, expanding gently. His free hand remains on Dennis' thigh, an unexpected point of contact.
He pulls back, taking the kit again and pulling out a swab "I'm going to take the smear now, first outside of the vagina and then the cervix"
Robby narrates everything he does, keeping his voice calm.
Robby works quickly, professional, efficient, but not without awareness of Dennis' discomfort. The swab dips in, collecting the sample with minimal intrusion before withdrawing.
Dennis stares at the ceiling the entire time, face burning.
And then
“Done,” Robby says.
The speculum releases with a soft click, eased out carefully. He discards it, then tears off his gloves, watching Dennis for any lingering distress.
Dennis exhales in relief, Robby steps back, “You can get dressed.”
Dennis sits up slowly, When he pulls the curtain aside a few minutes later, Robby is writing notes in the chart.
He looks up “All good,” he says.
Dennis rubs his hands together awkwardly, “Thanks.”
Robby studies him for a moment, Then he says quietly, “You were really scared earlier.”
Dennis laughs weakly. “Yeah.”
“Because you thought I’d react badly?”
Dennis hesitates “…maybe.”
Robby leans back in his chair.
“Dennis.”
His voice is very gentle now “You’re safe here.”
Dennis’ throat tightens.
Robby continues “And for what it’s worth… I’m honored you trusted me enough to tell me.”
Dennis looks down, trying to hide how much that affects him. Robby smiles slightly. “Now,” he says. “Let’s never speak of this awkward staff screening again.”
Dennis snorts “Deal.”
But as he leaves the room, he realizes something quietly terrifying.
Because now Robby knows, and somehow, instead of pushing Dennis away…It feels like the distance between them just got a little bit smaller.
And that might be even more dangerous.