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Draft 1
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The first time I met Shane, we were both rookies together and it was our first day with Montreal. Shane, as you all know, had been the second pick in the draft. I think he was kind of disappointed at the time, and I thought he should have been first pick, too.
But actually, his being second is the reason we played together and became best friends, so in the end I have to be grateful to this dick Rozanov Ilya [?? feels weird, workshop later] for being the reason Shane and I met.
In a way, this loss shows everything they had to gain from the moment they were first competing, same as they would compete on the ice in the years to come. That check to Shane’s pride was also a check to his heart, if you will.
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I was truly honoured when Svetlana told me that I was apparently Shane’s best man when Shane asked me to be his best man.
We’ve been through a lot together, and Shane is truly like a brother to me. Another truly moving moment in our friendship was when he came out. Braving the fear of judgement (not that I was gonna judge him, I’m an ally), he was truly brave in telling me about his sexuality. I admired his bravery, but I was not surprised by it. You all know how amazing Shane is.
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Shane and Rozanov / Ilya truly seriously have one of the great love stories. Their bravery courage shows how much they love each other. Today, let’s join each other for a celly of their love passion unitedness love. Let’s all Voyag-eur through the rest of this happy day together and Bear witness to their coming Centaur-y of happiness!
Draft 2
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Hi everyone, my name is Hayden Pike! You might know me as one of the top players on the Voyageurs and Shane’s best friend. [do not give Rozanov opportunity to cut in re hockey skills! Rookie mistake!]
You might also know me because fucking Brad some guy we won’t mention posted a video I took by accident of Shane and Rozanov / Ilya going at it in a passionate loving intimate tender moment. I’m so sorry about this and I take full responsibility.
[workshop – good to take responsibility, bad to focus on own mistakes during speech about love!!!!!! improve during editing!]
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To be honest, I know Shane was kind of sad that they didn’t get to share their relationship with the world in their own way.
[no – depressing :( ]
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While I am sad about lament the circumstances of how it happened, I am so glad to see them live as their authentic selves now. Standing here among all of you, I couldn’t be prouder of what they’ve achieved not only in their careers but in the relationship they’ve built.
Thinking back to them as rookies, I could never have believed they’d get their shit together, but they did, and it only took them X years [look up rivalry timeline wikipedia].
Shane and Rozanov / Ilya, I am so grateful to spend this day with you, and I can’t wait to see the happiness the future will bring you. I know everyone in this garden feels the same way.
Let’s all raise a glass to the grooms!
Draft 3
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Hi everyone, my name is Hayden, and I’m Shane’s best friend and best man. Thank you all for being here on this joyous day!
The first time I thought Shane and Rozanov / Ilya might be fucking, I almost threw up. I had a suspicion because Shane used to sneak off to see someone in Boston whenever we played there. I figured this thing with this mystery person we’ll call Lily was casual, and that that was never going to change.
But one day, it did, and I think operation jealousy may have been in play! [pause to build suspense]
Shane may not be able to grow a playoff beard, but he sure had a beard for a while when he was dating the one and only Rose Landry! [point at Rose for effect]
Shane didn’t date Rose for a long time and only slept with her X times [check amount with Shane], because he already knew deep down his heart soul heart and soul belonged to Rozanov / Ilya.
Anyway, back to my almost throwing up. At one point, Shane and Rose stopped seeing each other, and Shane was super happy, always on his phone, clearly in love with SOMEONE he refused to talk about. Then, a year or so later, Rozanov / Ilya moved to Ottawa, which I’m sure you all remember seemed batshit insane to everyone in hockey at the time. Now we know it was all for my guy Shane. To be honest, a very sweet sacrifice to make from Rozanov / Ilya, considering how shit Ottawa were at that time.
At the time of Rozanov / Ilya’s move, Shane stopped seeing anyone whenever we were playing in Boston, and was driving to Ottawa all the time. One night, I was lying in bed next to Jackie [too graphic? Check with Jackie if okay to mention] and the thought just popped into my head that it might be Rozanov / Ilya and I was full-on retching all of a sudden. Jackie thought I’d got food poisoning! [pause for laughter]
Just to be clear, I did not feel sick because they’re gay bi queer LGBTQ* in a same-sex same-gender relationship both guys (I’m an ally). It was just because Rozanov / Ilya was always the enemy, and it honestly seemed fucked-up to me at the time that they could be in love what with the rivalry. But once you see them together, you can tell their love is stronger than [find good metaphor, preferably hockey-related] a check by Ryan Price. [point at Price for effect]
I am so proud to be Shane’s best man, and I wish him and Rozanov / Ilya a very happy marriage. Let’s all celebrate their love today like they celebrated their joint win at the 2017 All-Stars Game! [cute nostalgic visual, ppl will love that]
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Draft 4
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Hi everyone! I’m sure you’re all as happy to be here today as I am. I can’t believe I get to watch Shane marry the love of his life in beautiful Ottawa, where he’s from.
I have been Shane’s best friend for over a decade now, and I am grateful and humbled to be his best man today. Thank you, Shane, for trusting me to support you always and especially today. I hope you like the chairs! [pause for Shane to say he loves them which he will!]
I want to talk a little bit about Shane and Rozanov / Ilya’s beautiful love story. You couldn’t think of two bigger rivals, but honestly, they’ve always understood each other. When they played against each other, it was clear there was a connection that the rest of us could only marvel at. Seeing them play together on the same team at the All-Stars Game in 2017 was honestly so impressive it was scary. I’m excited to see them play together on the Centaurs next season! [don’t jinx it before the deal is signed!!!!]
While it took them a little while to sort themselves out, it was always obvious to the people around them that they were falling in love, even when we didn’t know who they were falling in love with! Shane was constantly texting a girl – or so we thought – in Boston, and from what I’ve heard, it was a similar situation with Rozanov / Ilya, with him even blushing when he was texting Shane! (Thanks for the intel, Marlow!) [point at Marlow for effect]
That’s not to say they didn’t have their rough patches, but even that only brought them closer together. I am sure we all remember where we were when we first heard about Shane dating Rose Landry! I honestly didn’t have Shane pegged as the kind of guy to date a famous movie star, but then, I’m not the person to know anything about pegging Shane. Rose, why don’t you take the mic and share some insights? [pause for laughter]
A little bird [wink at Rose – practise winking properly in mirror so I don’t blink both eyes!] told me that he had some trouble performing with her, and if you’ve ever walked in on him and Rozanov / Ilya fucking making love doing the nasty in an intimate moment, as I unfortunately have (not being homophobic – I’m an ally, love is love), you know performing with Rozanov / Ilya is not a problem whatsoever for Shane!
So congrats to Shane for not being able to get it up with Rose, realising you’re gay, committing to your husband, and getting married on this beautiful day!
Cheers!
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Draft 5
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Hi everyone, I’m Hayden, Shane’s best buddy and his best man! Love you, Shane!
I’ve had the priviledge [sp?] to be by Shane’s side for a long time, and to see him fall in love with Rozanov / Ilya more and more throughout the years.
Of course, I thought at the time that he was falling in love with a girl called Lily. Shane’s always been a private guy, but even so, he was going to great lengths to hide who he was constantly texting. At the time, I had no clue why, but in hindsight it makes sense, since we all saw what happened when they were outed. Sorry about that again. Fuck Brad. [maybe get everyone to chant along???]
Anyway, it was very sweet of Shane to fall in love with Rozanov / Ilya, especially considering Rozanov / Ilya was always banging different girls in every city.
So at first, when I figured out they were seeing each other (sorry again for freaking you out by springing that theory on you on a random day, Shane, buddy), I was kind of pissed off. I won’t lie, it took me a long time to get over my dislike and distrust of Rozanov / Ilya. Even nowadays, that asshole is always pissing me off. [true but not appropriate for wedding speech!!!]
It is clear, though, that his love for Shane changed Ilya. Look at how he’s always looking at Shane. Totally whipped.
Happy marriage, guys!
Thank you, everyone!
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Draft 6
Hi everyone, my name is Hayden, and I’m Shane’s best friend and best man.
I’d like to think that I know Shane pretty well after all the years we’ve been best friends. I’ll also admit that, when I first guessed that he and Ilya were together, I was hoping Shane would tell me I was wrong. He didn’t. He told me it was true, and I said I had to meet Ilya properly, then.
I am sure that Shane, Ilya, and Jackie all agree that the dinner we had to do this wasn’t my finest hour. I wasn’t as supportive as I should have been. But it was the moment when I realised how much Shane and Ilya had to fight to be together, how much they worked for their relationship, and how much they were risking. If Shane couldn’t even tell his best friend years into his relationship, he must have been very afraid to lose it, and desperate to protect it.
In reality, if I had paid more attention, I would have seen from the first moment how special what they have is. Shane used to text who we all thought was a girl in Boston years before he even came out. He was always secretive about that relationship, but the one thing I knew was that he always played better when he was seeing that person. In hindsight, there were some pretty big signs I missed, that we all missed. But, hey, we’ve got a lot of concussions among us here – who can blame us?
During my initial shock and outrage at Shane dating who I thought of as the enemy, my smart, talented, beautiful wife Jackie told me to give Ilya a chance because he makes Shane happy. She was right, as always. Anyone who has seen them together knows how happy they make each other. From the outside, their relationship might not always have looked sensible. But there are things, sometimes, that just make sense, no matter what everyone on the outside might think. Shane and Ilya were and are brave enough to build a life together, even when they did not get the support they deserve from those around them.
Sometimes, we look at that person we love so much, who we’ve built something incredible with, and can’t help but wonder: How did this happen? How did the stars align just right for us to fall in love? How did we keep them aligned to stay in love?
We ask ourselves: What if I hadn’t walked into that club that night? What if I hadn’t had that sixth shot, hadn’t had the courage to smile at you, hadn’t kissed you in that moment?
I can’t tell you what these questions are for Shane and Ilya, but I imagine it might go something like: What if we hadn’t been drafted by rival teams? What if we hadn’t been the only ones to challenge, to understand, each other like this? What if we hadn’t been brave enough to be together, despite everything in our way?
In the end, it hardly matters, though, because those things happening are what shaped you into you, and you are the people who chose to build something amazing together. You can look at each other, and say: But it did happen. We made it happen. That’s how we’re here.
And I couldn’t be prouder, or happier, or more grateful, to be by your side on this day.
[raise glass] To Shane and Ilya.
Thanks, everyone. Enjoy the party.
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