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Dan Heng sighed, slipping into his seat at the databank with weariness. In one hand, he held a gently steaming mug of coffee, freshly brewed from the Express’s small kitchenette. He set it down on the small table, careful not to spill any on the delicate electronics. He rested his head in his other hand, the glowing blue of the databank screens providing a painful contrast to the darkness of the Express at night.
With a sigh, he tabbed open the screen, getting to work sorting information as he’d always done.
He took a sip of his coffee, staunchly ignoring the heaviness of his eyelids in favor of transcribing a worn sheet of paper. The light of the databank screens was just enough to read the words, and Dan Heng was more than happy to focus on this, rather than the pile of blankets looming behind him.
He took another sip of his coffee, the dark and bitter liquid almost soothing on his tongue.
He wasn’t quite sure what time it was. He just knew that he’d been… prioritizing his time nearly all night, refusing to even step near the bedspread on the floor.
His nights had been… particularly disturbed, as of late, and he knew there was no hope of a quiet night for him. Sleep, at this point, would end up being more draining than refreshing. So he wasn’t bothering to entertain the idea and waste his time.
Carefully folding the sheet of paper, Dan Heng slipped it into the rows of physical storage, before pulling another paper out from the box of unfiled items. This one appeared to be a pamphlet of sorts, and Dan Heng dutifully began noting down it’s contents for the databank. He knew Caelus had a strange habit of simply grabbing whatever papers caught his fancy, bringing them back for Dan Heng to file into the databank like puppy with a stick. It was… rather endearing.
Despite his exhaustion, a small smile came to Dan Heng’s face. He had such a soft spot for the Trailblazer. Had it been anyone else, he might not have actually sat down to file pamphlets and grocery lists into the databank. But seeing as it was Caelus that brought them to him, Dan Heng couldn’t find it in him to turn the man down.
With a fond sigh, Dan Heng took another sip of his coffee, moving on to the next page of the little pamphlet.
Dan Heng startled awake with a gasp, just barely managing to catch his jostled coffee mug before it could drop to the floor and shatter entirely. As his heart rate calmed, he set the mug back down.
Leaning back with a weary sigh, Dan Heng dragged a hand over his face. He’d fallen asleep, it seemed. Despite having emptied the mug of coffee, despite the normally mentally stimulating task of adding to the databank, despite the lack of any comfortable position.
He gave a weary, almost nervous glance to the blankets behind him. He… really didn’t want to. He knew, he knew, any sleep he could get wouldn’t be restful. Evidenced by the nightmare he’d just startled awake from, leaving him more tired than before he fell asleep.
But he was so tired.
Dan Heng sighed, leaning his head back as his eyes slipped shut for a moment.
He would manage without.
…somehow.
The next night found Dan Heng in a similar predicament. He was utterly exhausted, worn down and weary from nights of restless sleep, from staying up almost entirely the night before.
He longed to just get some rest, but he knew, logically, that it would not be restful. He told himself the same thing he’d told himself over and over the night before, the words sounding hollow in his mind. It won’t help. It won’t help.
Aeons, he was so tired. And with his weary mind in such a clouded state, was he even able to think logically right now? Could he even accurately judge what the night ahead might hold?
Dan Heng sighed. He knew one’s judgment became clouded under excess sleep deprivation. He knew he was obviously no exception to that rule. How could he be sure he’d have another nightmare?
He gave one last glance towards his bed. It seemed so tempting, and everything in him longed to just get some sleep.
He felt like he was teetering on a mental edge, the one between his own wariness and the exhaustion dragging him down. He knew it likely wouldn’t help, but- But he wanted to. Desperately so, he craved a quiet night’s sleep.
With a quiet sigh, he stood up from his chair and slipped into a pair of pyjamas, crawling under his blankets with a resigned sort of exhaustion. Like a prisoner marching to the gallows.
He hoped he could simply sleep soundly, giving in to his mortal needs for rest and relaxation and the want of a good night’s sleep. But he knew, that with his luck?
That wasn’t going to happen.
Dan Heng startled awake, a scream trapped within his throat as he bolted upright. His breaths came heavy, heart racing as a cold sweat left him damp and shivering.
This nightmare had been so much worse than the others- An awful cocktail of all of his worst memories, bleeding into each other and warping nearly beyond recognition. Not that he could ever truly mistake the figures that haunted him. He’d fallen through them all, trapped in a whirlpool of anguish until he’d finally startled awake.
He tried to suck in a deep breath, his throat tight and uncooperative. His hands were trembling violently where he grasped at his shirt. He squeezed his eyes shut, only to flinch when the images of his dream came to life behind his eyelids. Blinking them back open, he tried to focus on the swirling water patterns of the electronic floor.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Remember what Mr. Yang taught you to do in times like this.
Breathe in… and out. You’re alright.
Slowly, painfully, his breathing slowed until he was left shaking and hollow. He lifted an unsteady hand to his face, where he found still-wet tear tracks. With a trembling breath, he wiped his face clean.
Aeons, he wanted to just cry. Such a thing was- so childish of him, but…
He was so tired.
Why couldn’t he just sleep? Why- Why did this have to happen every night lately? He knew- He knew that he couldn’t go on like this. That something needed to change, whether that be a change in his routine, or a reprieve finally granted by his mind. He just- Didn’t know what to do.
He knew his judgment was clouded by the lack of rest. That normally, he’d be able to easily think up a solution. But right now, he just didn’t know. And stubbornly, childishly, he just wanted to cry tears of frustrated grief at his situation.
He took another deep breath, attempting to steady himself and his turbulent emotions. Allowing himself to be overwhelmed by emotions wouldn’t help anything.
After a few more steadying breaths, he heard a knock at his door. Glancing up with surprise, he wondered who could be there. It was the middle of the night.
When the knock came again, Dan Heng stuttered out a reply.
“Just- One moment. I’ll be out in a second.” He said, before furiously wiping his face dry. Standing up, he took one last steadying breath, before walking over to his door.
When the door slid open, he was met with Caelus. The man held a look of concern on his face, soft and unguarded.
“Is everything alright?” Dan Heng asked.
Caelus opened his mouth, brows furrowing, before he closed it again, looking away. “It sounds stupid, but I just… had a bad feeling.” He said, a hand absentmindedly coming up to rub at his chest.
“Is it the Stellaron?” Dan Heng asked, zeroing in on the action. “Are you alright?”
Caelus shook his head. “I’m fine.” He said, gaze flicking back to Dan Heng. “Are you okay, though? I just… woke up and felt like I had to check on you.” He said, and Dan Heng’s eyes widened in surprise.
Him? That was why Caelus had come all this way in the middle of the night? He was pulled out of his thoughts by the feeling of a hand on his face. Caelus’s eyes were heavy with concern, and his thumb softly traced the edge of Dan Heng’s cheek, where a trace of a tear had been missed by Dan Heng’s earlier attempts to wipe them all away. He froze, unsure how to respond to the action.
“You’ve been crying.” Caelus said, frowning softly. “Guess I was right to come check on you.” He muttered softly to himself. Dan Heng shrugged his hand away, wiping at his cheek with one hand.
“I’m alright.” He said softly. “Just a- bad dream. I’ll be fine.”
“You’ve seemed tired all week.” Caelus frowned. “Are you… going to be able to get any more sleep if I leave?” He asked softly.
Dan Heng sighed, a tense and weary thing. “I… don’t know.” He answered honestly.
“You look miserable, Dan Heng.” Caelus pointed out softly. “Is there… anything I can do?” He asked. He was probably surprised that Dan Heng hadn’t shooed him away by now, given how nearly everyone on the express knew he struggled with being vulnerable.
Dan Heng frowned, face twisting with emotion. “I don’t know.” He repeated helplessly.
“…Can I hug you?” Caelus asked, his voice gentle. He stepped forward slightly, holding his arms out. At Dan Heng’s simple nod, he moved forward to pull the teary dragon into a hug, holding him soft and secure.
“I shouldn’t be this- upset.” Dan Heng tried, his voice choked. Caelus simply hummed.
“Lack of sleep does weird things to us.” He huffed a small laugh, “I would know.” He paused for a moment, before continuing. “...Exactly how much sleep have you gotten this past week?” He asked, voice becoming concerned once more.
“I don’t know. Nowhere near enough.” Dan Heng said, the weariness seeping into his tone. “Maybe three hours a night at the most? More like one or two, really… Last night, I… slept maybe twenty minutes.” He said miserably, burying his face in Caelus’s shoulder and soaking in the warmth of the Stellaron, dangerously soothing to his frazzled mind.
“That’s… not healthy.” Caelus said. Dan Heng simply groaned, burying his face further into Caelus’s nightshirt.
“Not like I have a choice.” He muttered, voice muffled.
“Bad dreams still?” Caelus asked, and Dan Heng simply nodded. In the presence of the Trailblazer, Dan Heng found that the darkness behind his eyes didn’t seem so scary. The warmth of the Stellaron seemed to chase away the images from his dreams, until he was left… almost comfortable. The arms around him were like a blanket of safety, holding him protectively and allowing him to finally breathe.
Seemingly noticing how relaxed he’d become, Caelus shifted the vidyadhara in his arms to be in a slightly more comfortable position, before resuming his encompassing hold.
“I’ve got you.” He muttered softly, holding Dan Heng tight as he leaned his head against dark hair. Dan Heng gave a somewhat contented sigh, as tension further bled from his frame.
They stood in silence for a moment, Dan Heng soaking in that unnatural warmth, and Caelus gently rubbing his hand along Dan Heng’s back.
“Why don’t we move back to my room?” Caelus offered quietly. Dan Heng frowned, thinking of the room that was essentially a studio apartment lying above the Party Car, folded into space to fit within the bounds of the train.
“’s too open.” He muttered.
“Open? Is… is that why you like the Archives so much? Because it’s so small?” He asked, seemingly thinking out loud. “The railing’s probably nice, too…” He continued. Dan Heng just sighed, body growing heavier under the comfort he was basking in.
“I think I’ve got an idea.” Caelus said, before pulling away from Dan Heng. The dark-haired man let go with a disgruntled frown, reorienting himself as he became more awake and aware.
He dragged a hand over his face tiredly, before glancing back up at Caelus.
“Trust me?” Caelus asked after a moment, offering out a hand. With a hesitant sigh, Dan Heng took it, following along as Caelus pulled him through the train. The door to the Archives automatically slid shut behind them as they went.
Eventually, stepping through a silent train, they found themselves inside Caelus’s room.
“Stay here for a moment.” Caelus said, before running off with a sort of energy he very much shouldn’t have had so late at night. Dan Heng didn’t care to watch what he was doing, instead just leaning his head back against the door and closing his eyes.
...It smelled like… like incense in here. Faint, as though it hadn’t been burned recently. Maybe Caelus had received it as a gift. It was… sweet, and almost minty. Rather unusual. Fitting, for Caelus.
“Alright. I’m done.” He heard, and he peeled his head back from the wall to slowly meet Caelus’s eyes.
“Come see.” Caelus said, his smile soft as he pulled on Dan Heng’s hand. The vidyadhara followed where Caelus was leading him, finding himself across the room looking at a… Closet?
“What… is this?” He asked.
“Well, you don’t like open spaces. And, well, I added on this huge closet with Pom-Pom’s help after everyone else called it done. I figured I could set something up in here.” Caelus explained, somewhat nervously.
And indeed he had set up something inside. On the floor was a spread of blankets and pillows, mimicking the look of Dan Heng’s own bedspread in the Archive room, if only a lot more plush and fluffy. It was wide enough to accommodate two, while filling up the space up nicely. It was… perfect. Enclosed, and safe, just what Dan Heng would need to sleep soundly.
“It… looks nice.” He said softly.
Caelus pulled him forward some more, pulling the top blanket away and guiding Dan Heng to lay down. Caelus easily joined, pulling the blanket back up over them both.
Dan Heng took the initiative to curl into Caelus’s side, seeking out more of that unnatural, soothing warmth.
“You’re warm…” He muttered softly, his eyes slipping shut. He felt Caelus pull an arm around him, holding him close and secure just as he’d done in the hall earlier.
“So I’ve heard. Thought you’d enjoy the cold more, though.” Caelus said, and Dan Heng shook his head. Brief memories of the biting chill of his cell seeped into his bones, and he shivered.
He tucked himself further into Caelus’s warmth with a sigh, letting it chase away the tension until he was relaxed once more. The feel and smell of Caelus only helped to further that comforting air, and Dan Heng found there was nowhere else he’d rather be right now.
“Comfortable?” Caelus asked. Dan Heng just nodded sluggishly as his mind went blissfully quiet. For once he… wasn’t so worried about the nightmares. He had someone here to chase them away before they could reach him.
“I’ve got you.” He remembered.
This was… this was nice, he thought.
Blissfully, he did not think of much else, as sleep came to claim him once more.
March gave a glance at the door to the Party Car, slowly bringing another bite of eggs to her mouth as she frowned. It was rather late in the morning, and neither Dan Heng nor Caelus had shown for breakfast.
While this wasn’t odd for Caelus, having his habits of staying up far too late playing games, Dan Heng tended to be far more punctual. He himself had his moments of holing up in his room, but he usually at least tried to interact with the others at a reasonable time.
March sighed loudly, leaning back in her stool and dropping her fork to the plate. She was over this.
Glancing past the bar, and towards the stairwell leading to Caelus’s room, she figured she might knock out two birds with one stone. Get Caelus up, and see if they could corral Dan Heng together into getting some breakfast. With another sigh, she pushed herself backwards, standing up with a frown.
“Dumb boys. Can’t even come hang out with me at a reasonable time.” She muttered to herself, heading for the stairwell.
Once she got up to Caelus’s door, she gave a knock.
“I’m coming in! Time to get your butt out of bed!” She called, before sliding the door open.
Inside, she was greeted with…
“...an empty room?” She wondered aloud. Looking around, and stepping further inside, she wondered just what was going on. “Hello~?” She called. Suddenly, her phone buzzed, and she pulled it from her pocket with a frown.
< From: Caelus >
> shhhh you’ll wake dan heng
March only frowned harder, before typing a reply.
< From: March 7th >
> where even are you?? I don’t see you anywhere
> also dan heng????
It didn’t take long for her to receive a reply, and she looked around the room once more in confusion, still not able to spot the Trailblazer. Before she could continue to demand answers, her eyes slipped back to her phone.
< From: Caelus >
> closet
Once she read the text, she quickly looked up, spotting the door to the closet ajar. Her phone buzzed once more, dragging her attention back to it before she could try and look inside.
> be quiet. please. I dont wanna wake him
Pocketing her phone, she quietly walked towards the closet, carefully peering inside. Her heart nearly melted at the sight before her.
Dan Heng, clinging to Caelus like a koala, sleeping more peacefully than she’d ever seen. And Caelus, holding him close with an arm around him.
It was just so cute.
She opened her mouth to speak, and Caelus just pointedly held up his phone with his free hand. Getting the point, she pulled it out to start texting again.
< From: March 7th >
> dude what is happening. why is dan heng sleeping in your room
< From: Caelus >
> hes been having nightmares a lot recently
March frowned, but before she could ask, Caelus kept typing.
> apparently hes only had like
> 12 hours of sleep over the last week
March’s gaze quickly flicked back up to Dan Heng with concern, noting the bags under his eyes that had only deepened since she’d last seen them. She’d noticed how he seemed to not be sleeping well recently, be she hadn’t known it was that bad.
A buzz from her phone brought her attention back to it.
> that is if I did my math right.
> point is I. sorta had a bad feeling last night and went to check on him
> learned all that
> realized the longer I stayed with him the more relaxed he seemed
> so I figured what have I got to lose right
> and brought him up here so he might be able to get some sleep for once
March glanced up, looking at Dan Heng with sympathy. His breaths were deep and even, knocked right out as he clung to Caelus. When her eyes met Caelus’s, the trailblazer just smiled a bit awkwardly, before March turned back to her phone.
< From: March 7th >
> looks like it worked then, huh
She heard a soft snort from the man in front of her, before he started typing again.
< From: Caelus >
> yeah no. hes slept a solid 7 hours so far and I fully expect him to sleep at least 7 more. I aint moving till he gets up
March gave a small smile.
< From: March 7th >
> good luck with that, soldier
> I’m gonna go back downstairs, let everyone else know not to bug you guys.
> also get back to my breakfast
< From: Caelus >
> have fun. you know where to find me if you need something
With a small smile, March glanced up from her phone again, giving Caelus a little wave goodbye. He waved back, and she easily turned and left.
Pulling out her phone again, she shot off a text to Himeko.
< From: March 7th >
> the boys are being gay
Well…
it’s not like she was wrong… right?
She smiled to herself, slipping out of Caelus’s bedroom and making her way back downstairs to the Party Car.
When Dan Heng awoke, he was alone.
He blinked at the space beside him sluggishly, reaching out to feel at the blankets. They were still warm, as though Caelus had only just left.
Still, Dan Heng frowned at the loss of the one thing that had brought him comfort so far.
His eyes slipped shut again, definitely not ready to be awake yet. He gave a soft groan of discontent. Before he could sit up to try and see where Caelus had gone, the door to the little closet slipped open with the soft sound of hydraulics.
Dan Heng blinked his eyes open, looking up to find Caelus attempting to quietly slide the door shut again.
“Why’d you leave?” Dan Heng mumbled. Caelus startled, turning around and wincing when he saw Dan Heng was awake.
“Shit. Sorry, Dan Heng.” He said, kneeling down on the pile of blankets and lifting them up as he spoke. “Had to go to the bathroom. I really tried not to wake you.” He frowned. Dan Heng shivered at the cold air seeping into the blankets from where Caelus had lifted it, before the trailblazer slipped back into bed and pulled Dan Heng into his side once more.
Dan Heng gave a contented sigh, soaking up the warmth greedily.
“’s okay. ...you came back.” He mumbled sleepily. Caelus gave a soft little laugh.
“You’re such a lizard, Dan Heng. Little dragon.” He teased, and Dan Heng didn’t care to refute. “We should get you a sun lamp for your room, if you like the warmth this much.” He joked. Dan Heng frowned, squeezing Caelus tighter.
“’s nice… but it’s only this nice cause it’s you.” He said. Caelus was quiet for a moment, before he adjusted the blankets somewhat.
“And why is that?” He asked, voice curious.
“...you’re safe.” Dan Heng said. “You’re… you.” He mumbled, struggling to find the words to truly explain what he was feeling.
Dan Heng felt it as Caelus pressed a light kiss to the top of his head. He sighed softly with content.
“I’m glad you think so.” Caelus said. “Now go back to sleep. We’ll talk more once you wake up properly.” He said softly. Dan Heng simply let out a soft breath, allowing any remaining tension to fall away as he slipped closer and closer to sleep.
The warmth of the Stellaron lulled him back into the darkness, chasing away his nightmares once more before they could dare to reach him.