Actions

Work Header

The Fall of Icarus

Summary:

Father Jeong Yunho has a secret.

He supposes many priests have secrets. Maybe it was wrong, blasphemous, of him to assume that a priest’s lifestyle did not suit everyone who became a priest. Sometimes he catches Father Choi, the younger one, sneaking a glass of bourbon. Sometimes… even Father Kim, holy as he is, would have a cigarette. Jeong Yunho would never. He never fathomed having a secret. Until it happened and he was powerless to stop it. His secret was much darker than a stolen cigarette or a stray glass of whiskey, however.

Because Father Jeong Yunho is in love with another priest.

Notes:

ahh.. whoops? i meant for this to come out at a similar time to my other priest ateez fic… but uh… well, better late than never? this can be read standalone, but this takes place after the last one and is in the same universe. not beta read, please excuse any errors. i wrote most of this at work. lol!

disclaimer: there is derogatory use of the word queer as well as internal struggles with homophobia. no one calls anyone that, it’s just yunho’s mind being mean to him.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Father Jeong Yunho has a secret.

He supposes many priests have secrets. Maybe it was wrong, blasphemous, of him to assume that a priest’s lifestyle did not suit everyone who became a priest. Sometimes he catches Father Choi, the younger one, sneaking a glass of bourbon. Sometimes… even Father Kim, holy as he is, would have a cigarette. Jeong Yunho would never. He never fathomed having a secret. Until it happened and he was powerless to stop it. His secret was much darker than a stolen cigarette or a stray glass of whiskey, however.

Because Father Jeong Yunho is in love with another priest.

It would be easier if it was only lust. Yes, it would be, because he could pray it away. But love is a sickly, ugly thing. In a way he’s known for a long time. Mingi and Yunho attended seminary together, had been friends since they were young. It’s an ugly thing to be in love when you pledged your life and heart to God, another beast entirely for it to be a man, and the nail in the coffin for it to be a priest. But Yunho yearns, despite the fact he’s tried and tried to pray it away. He has confessed several times over and begged for it to leave him. He’s thought about it so much it has made him sick. Was it wishful thinking, foolish, of him to think, perhaps, Father Song feels the same way? They have always been close. Mingi is practically glued to his side.

He should not be entertaining these thoughts. If anyone were to find out… the names he would be called, the punishments he would receive, the wrath he would experience at the hands of God. But when Mingi looks at Yunho with those eyes, that face he makes where he pouts, lower lip jutting out while he looks at Yunho through dark lashes. He thinks burning in brimstone and being whipped several times over with the thorniest of branches would be worth it.

He thinks he’s hiding it rather well. He’s not sure if the other priests would agree, but he at least thinks so. And Father Song seems to be none the wiser. Perhaps he should hope that he does notice, though, so that he can do the hard part and Yunho will stop him in the middle of his confession and say he’s always felt the same, that they should leave the church and live on a hill somewhere with a white picket fence and raise chickens together. Wishful thinking. Impossible, almost.

Because Song Mingi, too, has a secret.

“I told you, the priests at my church were off limits,” he’s still in his vestments, which he knows would cause unrest with the hive. He can’t really be bothered to care, not after he smelled the angel all over the youngest Choi. After he told them no, said they could go to every other cathedral in a 50 mile radius as long as they didn’t go to Mingi’s.

There’s mirth in Yeosang’s eyes when he looks at Mingi, like he was expecting this. Still, he’s shy by nature, and doesn’t talk back. He simply bows his head.

“You can’t even follow your own rule. Why should we?” Wooyoung, however, has no such nature, “And take that shit off. You reek of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit,” he curls his nose in disgust, skipping towards Mingi with a sly grin. Mingi scoffs and dusts off his shoulder. He didn’t reek… did he? With a snap of his fingers, the vestments peel away from Mingi without the assistance of hands. Replaced by a formal uniform, black with silver inline that matches his deep silvery eyes in a way that makes both stand out. Fair skin replaced by a pale rosy pink complexion. He pushes his raven hair out of his face as Wooyoung beams at him, uneven eyes scrunched up with a smile. “See? You look better that way,” sticky fingers work at his collar and he swats them away, though there’s a grin playing on his lips, “Besides. A priest so close is tempting. I know someone else who has their eyes on one….” Mingi blinks in surprise, then he feels his heart sink down to his toes. No.

“Seonghwa—“ He realises his mistake as he makes it. At the end of the devilish cathedral is a throne made of obsidian and bone, framed by gold and gore. There, atop the throne, adorned with silver and gold and amethyst, all the prettiest gems and metals that match his deep crimson skin, is Seonghwa. His dark hair frames his dangerous features in a way that gives him an authority the other devils could only dream of.

“Seonghwa…?” He puzzles. A clawed finger comes up to his chin to tap in curious thought. Mingi drops to his knees, forked tail curled around his legs while he bows his head.

“Mother,” he makes sure he speaks loud enough to be heard despite his bowed head, “You can’t—Not Father Kim—“

“Father Kim,” Seonghwa sighs like he’s bored, “They’ve rubbed off on you. His name is Hongjoong, just as the priest you have your eyes on is Yunho, and Yeosang’s is Jongho. That is all,” Mingi doesn’t see it, but he feels it, Seonghwa waves his hand. He lifts back to his feet and nods towards the devil on the throne. Seonghwa’s word was law. Even though Mingi begged for the others to stay out of things, to leave the priests alone, Seonghwa gave the go ahead. Which meant Mingi’s word was obsolete.

Mingi hears Wooyoung laugh, obnoxious like he always was, before Seonghwa sighs and turns over in his throne.

“Besides. It would be a while until I’m ready,” he says it like he regrets it. Like it’s a shame. Mingi’s eyes trail over to Wooyoung who’s staring at Seonghwa with all the adoration in the world. Surely Wooyoung of all demons had his eyes on someone. It wasn’t in his nature to keep his hands to himself. A spark of jealousy ignites in his stomach, one he tries to stamp down. Was he going after Yunho…? Did he have his eyes on Yunho, perfect Yunho, with his soft face and pretty eyes? His lanky frame and large hands, hands that had held Mingi’s in prayer many times? No, not Yunho.

Yunho wasn’t his to claim, anyway. Oh, but Mingi wanted him to be. His feelings were far past the mundane lust that the others felt for their priests. He had been with Yunho for years. Ever since… ever since he had taken the real Song Mingi’s place when they were around 16. He regrets it now. At first it seemed like a good idea… but then Yunho… perfect Yunho, the way he held himself and the way he cared, his doting on Mingi and the nights they stayed up late studying and praying. The time he had called him princess as a joke, but Mingi had reacted so strongly that it had stayed. Yes, it was far past lust.

Unfortunate for Mingi, that anything past lust was forbidden. If Seonghwa discovered his feelings for Yunho he would be exiled at best, killed at worst. And Mingi wants to stay. It was the only way he could be around Yunho. Though, he can’t fathom how betrayed the other man would feel if he found out about… everything. Not to mention the fact that Yunho was an authentic priest. He had pledged his body to God. No, he could never love Mingi the way Mingi loved him. Perhaps that’s what stung the most about all of this.

“You are dismissed now,” Seonghwa says so simply, and the three other devils bow their heads. Mingi has to bite his lip to force himself to stop thinking.

“Yes, Mother,” they all say in unison. A smile curls onto Seonghwa’s lips before he snaps his fingers, and the three find themselves alone in an empty room in the devilish cathedral. Immediately, Wooyoung turns to Yeosang and flashes him a wide, Cheshire grin.

“How was the priest?” He asks. Blunt. Yeosang says nothing, just laughs in that awkward way he does before walking off in a random direction. Mingi watches him go, eyes narrowed. The youngest of the priests. He seemed Yeosang’s type. His body was covered by his loose-fitting vestments, but Mingi could tell he was built beneath the fabric. That made sense for him. He still can’t help but feel irked, but… Seonghwa gave the go ahead. Seonghwa’s word was law. Mingi grumbles that mantra to himself over and over while pacing the empty halls.

“Let me do it for you, Father Song,” Yunho gives the other priest a gentle smile while gently taking the hymn book from his hands. He tries to ignore the way their fingers touch… and the longing he feels to lace their fingers together like they did during prayer. But he had an excuse then. He doesn’t now. Father Song would surely cast him down to hell himself if he even dared brush his pinky finger along the prominent knuckles of his hand. Yunho watches Mingi nod and smile at him. He doesn’t know how long he can take this. He's already hidden it for so long, ever since they were teenagers, and it is becoming painful now. Surely… surely Mingi wouldn’t hate him. He’s his best friend, has been for a long time. If he didn’t feel the same… maybe he would just offer to pray with him. Yunho did a lot of wishful thinking lately.

“Thank you…” He pauses, almost like he’s thinking of a dialogue option. Yunho waits with baited breath even if he’s not sure why, “Father Jeong,” he says, finally, and Yunho can’t help but feel a bit disappointed. But, he just nods, taking the hymn and putting it back in the seat of the pew where it belonged. “Father Kim seems to be concerned at the lack of confessions lately,” Yes, of course. What priest wouldn’t be? Yunho had noticed the lack of activity at the church in general, it’s no shock that Father Kim also noticed. It was his job to notice.

A deep, creeping feeling grows inside of Yunho. One that tells him it’s time, the way Mingi looks at him while he waits for a response or an acknowledgment. Those eyes he had found himself getting lost in so many times. You’re disgusting. God hates you. God hates you, and he will damn you for this. Yunho wishes he could understand. God wanted his people to love. If this was love, why was it so wrong? Yes, Yunho loved Mingi. He knows he does. He had tried to push it down like something to hide, but he knows it now. If God hates this love, then he should not have allowed me to feel.

“Actually, I was meaning to ask you something… related to that,” this was the best option. If it went wrong and Mingi was appalled by him, he was bound by the confessional. If he was a self respecting priest—which Yunho knows he is—he wouldn’t say anything. And, laid before God, Yunho would know if he would be punished for this.

Mingi turns, eyebrow raised as Yunho makes a motion with his shoulder that indicates he wishes to be followed. As the walk, Yunho turns back to Mingi to make sure he’s following. He is, though he’s not any less confused than he was when they began walking. Yunho makes his way into a room designed for prayer, not open to the public but even if it was he doubts it would receive any attention, and then turns with his full body towards Mingi.

“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned,” he begins, clutching his pectoral cross tight within his fingers. Mingi’s expression softens and he bows his head, “It has been 3 months since my last confession,” only 3 months. Admittedly, Yunho does confess for seemingly mundane things, but that is how he keeps his faith. He has not confessed to this sin ever, though. Part of him didn’t want to admit it was a sin. The other part knew better.

Mingi looks at him in a way that tells him he is ready to hear his sin, but that look makes a cold chill run all the way down to his feet. Now that he’s here, he’s not sure if he wants to. Oh, but he would be wasting Mingi’s time. And Yunho wants nothing less. He is your best friend. If he does not feel the same he will assign you an appropriate penance. He will pray this sin away. This is a mantra he has repeated for the past few weeks. But he will ridicule you and your penance will be to admit your guilt to the other brothers. You will be known as a queer, you’ll lose everything you’ve ever known. No, he tries to tell himself as he clutches the cross so tight he feels his hand begin to sting, Mingi wouldn’t. Mingi was his best friend.

He knows Mingi.

“I have been carrying this sin for a long time,” he admits. Mingi listens, as is customary of a priest in a confessional. Though, his eyes flash with concern. Yunho has to turn his head away, “I…I have been…” Why was it so hard? Why was he reduced to a babbling, lovesick fool around Mingi?

“Our Father can forgive a lot,” Mingi says. That’s right. God forgives murderers, adulterers, thieves. Could he not forgive Yunho for this transgression?

“I’m afraid God isn’t the only one in my heart… hasn’t been for a long time. It weighs heavy on me,” he hopes Mingi takes the hint and he won’t have to say it. There’s something in the other man’s eyes, something dark. For a moment, Mingi almost looks… angry. That scares Yunho. Maybe he did get the hint, he knows what Yunho means, and he dislikes it. But as quickly as it appeared, it leaves, and Mingi looks up at Yunho with that look that makes him want to give that man the world. “Song Mingi… I am in love with you,” silence. Yunho’ heart is in his throat, he can hear his heartbeat in his ears. He’s sure he’s red in the face and his chest is moving rapidly with his now accelerated breathing. He feels a bit lightheaded. He almost says to forget it, that it didn’t mean anything, but that would be a lie. It did mean something. Yunho loves Mingi more than himself. He loves him more than the sun and the moon and the stars.

He loves him more than God.

“My penance?” Yunho asks sheepishly after a moment of silence. Mingi is hard to read right now, but he doesn’t look angry. His face is soft and there’s a wet sheen to his eyes, almost as if he was about to cry. He didn’t mean to upset him. That’s what he wanted the least.

“Your penance..?” He asks, like he had totally forgotten they were in a confessional. Yunho nods, hands going up to grab Mingi’s within his own. He sees the other man jump and his cheeks and ears redden with a blush. “Your penance… is to hear my confession.” What? It makes Yunho pause, but only for a moment. He nods. Was he going to confess back so they were both bound to silence? Did this mean…? He tries not to get ahead of himself, tries not to get excited for something he doesn’t know yet. But what else could it be? If he hated Yunho he would have cast him away by now, but he was allowing him to hold his hands within his own and be close to him. “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been 10 years since my last confession,” Yunho isn’t supposed to judge the amount of time, but he can’t help it. He must be so sure of himself. Mingi was an excellent priest, an excellent friend.

But Mingi says no words. He gently takes his hands away from Yunho before holding one out, palm side up. Yunho almost places his hand inside the inviting palm of Mingi’s hand, but something stops him. Mingi is breathing quickly, he looks nervous. Yunho wishes he could ease him in some way. He was supposed to be listening to a confession.

Yunho almost thinks he’s gone crazy or he’s seeing things. Mingi’s fair skin begins to turn a dusky rose at the fingertips, crawling all the way up and disappearing behind his vestments, which Mingi pulls back so Yunho can see the discoloured skin all the way up to his elbow. Fingernails are now dark claws, sharp and tipped with a dark blue. Yunho stares, eyes glued in Mingi’s hand.

A devil.

Yunho’s chest tightens as he steps back a few paces and quickly reaches towards his side and produces his crucifix. Mingi leaps back, eyes wide as he puts his sleeve back down.

No, that’s not right. It’s impossible. He’s known Mingi for so long. He’s sure he would have noticed. And a demon… a demon couldn’t stay in a church for so long. He knew Mingi when they were both just kids. Yunho bites his tongue as his eyes sting with unshed tears. This isn’t right… Mingi wasn’t—He couldn’t be. Unless—

Yunho’s mind clouds with screaming, wailing thoughts while he takes a few steps back. He’s aware he’s breathing heavily, hand clutching his chest.

“Yunho—“

“I—I don’t—I don’t understand—“ He sounds feeble, unsure of himself. Yunho, usually so stable, now reduced to a blabbering and teary mess. He thinks back to all the times, the moments they’ve shared together. Had that really been Mingi? How long?! Had he been fooled this entire time?! It couldn’t be, he and Mingi—Mingi had parents, a family, siblings, an upbringing. So that meant—A strangled sob tears its way from Yunho’s throat. He feels his heart break like nothing he’s ever felt before, his hopes of a shared confession dashed by a simple gesture. Mental pictures of him and Mingi fray and scorched at the edges.

Yunho catches himself on the wall as he watches Mingi—is that even Mingi? He doesn’t know—gingerly step towards him. He forces his arms to move his crucifix forward.

“Stay back!” Through his hurried breath and tears, he’s able to shout. The devil frowns, the devil wearing Mingi’s face, his skin, his heart. “H-how long…?!”

“Yunho—“

“How long have you been lying to me?!” Yunho never yells. These walls are not thin, but they’re not thick, either. Mingi swallows hard, Yunho sees it bob in his throat.

“I haven’t lied, Yunho—“

“No! You’re—Where’s Mingi?! Where’s my Mingi!?” Does the devil have a heart? It wasn’t breaking as much as Yunho’s heart was. But there’s a tear that runs down Mingi’s cheek, then more, before he has to turn his head to hide his face.

“I replaced him when we were 16,” He sounds choked, like words are hard for him, but Yunho can’t focus on that right now. Devils didn’t have feelings. The devil didn’t care that he had broken Yunho’s heart, or that he had replaced his best friend ever since they were 16. “But, please, Yunho—“

“Not Yunho, no, it’s Father Jeong to you,” how dare he masquerade as his friend for so long and then call him by his first name. What gave him the right? Who gave him the right to his heart? Was this God’s sign that this was never meant to be? It had to be. He hopes this is a sick, cruel joke. But from the way he’s hurting he doesn’t think it is.

“It’s always been me—“

“You’re not my Mingi,” Yunho can’t find the strength to fight anymore. Everything is blurry through his tears so he can no longer see the devil aside from a faint outline that tells him he’s there. But he hears him, hears his tears. How appropriate of a devil to cry when caught.

“Please, find it in your heart—“ Yunho doesn’t plan on letting him speak.

“My heart… it belonged to you,” he whispers, “To Mingi,” Was he gone? His Mingi? “I need… I need…” He needs something he’d never have. He hears the devil shuffle around in the room.

“I love you too, Yunho” it’s a faint whisper, one he barely hears. Then, the click of the door. Now alone, Yunho falls to his knees with his head in his hands and spends the rest of the day praying. Praying and hoping that this wasn’t real.

His prayers go unanswered.

A week of prayer seems light for the hardship Yunho has experienced. He spends his time thinking. Thinking and praying. He’s not sure if his prayers go answered or not, but his thinking was his main focus.

He continues because he has to. He sees Father Song in the halls, but makes no effort to speak to him like he usually would. This only lasts a day or so. Everything in him wants to run to him, to cry into his arms and tell him how much he cared about him. Even if he was a devil masquerading as his friend. It had been that way for a little over 10 years. Where did the devil end and Mingi begin? Perhaps he had fallen in love with this Mingi after all.

Still, Yunho keeps his distance. He’s sure his outburst didn’t go unnoticed by the others, and he’s sure Mingi hates him now. His chest aches more these days than it’s ever ached before. He could have handled it better. He could have talked it through.. surely. Part of him wants to, and part of him tells him it’s a devil, and the only good devil is a dead devil. But he cannot say anything. It was a confession, as lousy as it was, it was a confession. And he was bound to secrecy. He didn’t want to say anything, anyway. The devil had been playing Mingi for over 10 years… had gone to seminary, had preached sermons and prayed with Yunho. Had comforted him, looked at him with those eyes… Perhaps the Lord rubbed off on him. Maybe… maybe he had become Mingi after all. He should hate himself for that thought.

“Our Father thou art in heaven,” one night, about a week after, Yunho is on his knees in his room in the rectory. He kneels before a makeshift station he’s put up, just a small crucifix and a Bible stacked up against each other, “Is this a test? Am I not faithful? Why am I to be Job when I have shown nothing but great faith?” He’s only met with silence and the soft click of heels on the floors outside. Job had great faith as well, he reminds himself. Still, the devil wanted him, and the Lord tested him.

‘I love you too Yunho’, when Yunho prays, God does not answer. But Mingi does. His face, his smile and his words. More often than not, his confession plays over and over in his head. The exact way it played out, but also how it could have played out differently. If Yunho confessed his love and the devil scoffed, grabbed him and ripped his throat out. He got what he wanted out of him, what was the use anymore? But part of him knows Mingi wouldn’t do that. Maybe that was a sign that he no longer held his devilish nature. That he truly was Mingi. His Mingi.

It takes two weeks for Yunho to come to a decision. The decision does not come easy to him. He thinks about it, is tormented by thoughts in his own voice, and in Mingi’s. The usual. That he was going to hell for this. That God would never forgive him. Now that he knows Mingi was a devil and a man, it made everything 10 times worse. A heretic, a queer, everything worse and in between. If the others found out they would have him excommunicated, bring back old punishments and have him hanged. Maybe have him crucified. No, they wouldn’t waste their time on him. A devil lover and worse, they’d leave his punishment to God. He had been punished enough.

Yunho seeks Mingi out. The first time he had done so since his confession. He does it at night, when he knows the others would be praying and getting ready for bed. Yunho needs to sleep, but he can’t bring himself to. Mingi. He only thinks of Mingi. He hates that he can’t think of anything else. How pathetic is he? It was a sin to hold idols above the Lord, and he had already confessed he loved Mingi more than life itself.

Father Song is knelt before a statue in one of the cathedral halls. He holds his cross close to his face, lips pressed against his hands that hold the cross within them. Yunho waits for him to be finished or at least notice him. When Mingi opens his eyes they immediately find Yunho. There’s a hint of fear in his eyes, only to be replaced by… want. He stays kneeling, looking up at Yunho in a way that makes his stomach twist.

“Father Song…” Yunho whispers. Mingi nods, standing and holding his cross close to his chest. He looks meek, like he looked when they were kids and he was unsure of something. How was he able to replicate that look so well if he had not been there at the time? Had he truly become Mingi? Were the devil and him one in the same? “May I speak with you in private?”

“Yes,” it’s whispered and Yunho can hear longing in his tone. ‘I love you too, Yunho.’ Was it the truth? It had to be. Maybe he was a fool for thinking that, too. Yunho says nothing more, just motions for him to follow as he makes his way to the rectory. Mingi says nothing, just follows, glued to his side like he always was. The more he acts, the more convinced Yunho is that this really is Mingi. So much time had passed…. Where did Mingi end and the devil begin?

He makes it to his room and lets himself in. His fellow priest follows, standing pliant while Yunho closes and locks the door. When he looks at Mingi he’s staring at him, face meek and… desperate. Yunho sighs. He had prepared himself for this moment. Rehearsed it over and over in his head. Nothing prepared him for the real thing.

“I will allow you to speak now. I’m sorry,” he didn’t let him get more than a couple words in when they last spoke. Mingi nods and takes a few moments to collect the words he wanted to say. What Yunho didn’t see was how hopelessly devoted Mingi was to him. That angry look he had seen on his face was jealousy at the thought another person was the object of Yunho’s affections. He was wrapped around his finger.

“I do… I do love you, Yunho. More than anything.”

“I’m not talking about that,” he replies. He believes that. He believes it now. He knows it now. No, he wants him to answer for his other transgression. The obvious one.

“I’ve been Mingi so long I don’t remember the name I was given before. This is the only life I’ve known,” He pleads, allowing himself to step closer to the other man. He’s so close yet so far. Yunho allows it, too. He’s missed his voice, his perfect face… his everything. Yunho feels himself begin to shake as his body wracks with tears. He has always been weak for Mingi, never able to resist him. Now was no different. This was Mingi. Ever since they were 16, and 16 was a long time ago. That was around the time Yunho started feeling love. Had Mingi felt the same for as long as he had? Would the original Mingi even have felt the same, or was this his only chance with him? “I’m sorry… I’m sorry for hurting you… really, I am… I didn’t… I didn’t want…”

“Princess,” Yunho chokes out, and he can’t resist him any longer. He falls into Mingi’s arms like they’re made for him. He feels his warm embrace around him, hears his choked sobs and feels Mingi nuzzle his face into his neck. Yunho feels so broken. He had felt broken ever since then. His Mingi, this was his Mingi. He was the key to fix him. He had always known that.

It had always been Mingi.

“I’m sorry,” Mingi whispers again, and Yunho nods. He believes him. He is sorry. Yunho is, too. He shows it by grabbing ahold of Mingi’s face with a gentle grip and guiding their lips together. He feels the other man freeze for a moment before he’s kissing him like he’s never going to get to kiss again. Mingi’s lips are perfect and always have been. They feel just as good as Yunho had imagined them. Yes, he imagined himself kissing his best friend. Holding him, loving him in the ways he would do had he not pledged himself to the Lord. The ways he so desperately wants to.

“Could never live without you, Princess,” It’s whispered between desperate, messy kisses. Mingi feels himself nodding, Yunho kisses deeper. Their tears and bodies press together, Yunho pulling Mingi impossibly closer, like if he let him go he would be gone again. Those two weeks were hell for him. Despite the fact he was wrestling with his own self, he longed for his friend. Maybe he was pathetic because of that, “You’re my Mingi, right?”

“Will always be your Mingi,” he says. Yunho feels a tear roll down his cheek as he nods and presses an open-mouthed kiss against his friend’s lips. There’s so many questions he has, but he doesn’t know if he can ask them. If he should ask them. Not with the way Mingi is kissing him, how desperate he’s quickly becoming. The other priest’s fist clench up against Yunho’s vestments and hold onto the fabric there. They’re both still crying when Yunho places a hand on the small of Mingi’s back and leads him to his desk. He’s gentle when he moves him, knowing how Mingi likes to be treated. Yes, he knows Mingi. Mingi knows him. “Are you—?”

“Missed you, Mingi…” Yunho says through hiccups and tears. It was the truth. Mingi nods with tears streaming down his own face, “Please… let me do this… Don’t ever want to be away from you again. Want to remember you like this,” You’re going to hell. God will never forgive you for this. Laying with a man, a devil, all the while you’re a priest. You will burn for this. This is a voice that belonged to neither he nor Mingi. This was an unwelcome presence, one he’s gotten used to, but he shouldn’t have to deal with it. If God hated love then so be it.

Mingi moves himself up on the desk but Yunho stops him. He’s never done this before. He has to assume Mingi hasn’t, either. He’s thought about it, though, and asked the Lord for forgiveness. But he hadn’t taken the thoughts away. That must have meant he wanted them to have them.

“You’re fine there. Unless… You want to be on the bed,” Yes, how foolish. Of course Mingi wants the bed. The way he nods is confirmation. He knows his friend well. But, Mingi would agree with whatever Yunho says. Yunho would do the same for him.

Mingi is placed on the bed as gently as Yunho can manage. He crawls on top of him, hands carefully trailing up and down the other man’s sides. Mingi lays there, still sobbing as he stares up at the man above him.

“Thought you hated me,” He whispers as Yunho stares down at him, hands still exploring. No, no. Yunho could never hate Mingi. Even if the devil had killed him he doesn’t think he could ever hate him. The thought alone sends a pang through his heart and makes a fresh set of tears fall down his cheeks. That’s all the answer Mingi needs.

Yunho knows they won’t take it all the way right now. Neither are in the state to, nor does Yunho really… Well, he’s not exactly prepared for this. He’s never done this, he doesn’t have oil and his courage was quickly running out. He doesn’t even have the courage to remove either of their vestments. This would do for now. He will pray about this tomorrow. He must do what he can while he’s brave enough.

His hands find Mingi’s hips and he pulls him close to him. Of course, the other man is pliant beneath him. He sort of never imagined it getting this far. Neither of them. Mingi thought his days were numbered when Yunho screamed and shoved the crucifix in his face. He thought he was going to be exposed… but Yunho held true to the seal of the confessional and told no one. Yes, Mingi had these thoughts before. He had both romantic and sexual thoughts of Yunho. So the feeling of his hands on him and the feeling of his body atop him makes him dizzy in a way he’s never felt before.

Yunho moves to feel the half-hard firmness between Mingi’s legs, to which the other man makes a bit of a wounded noise. Yunho slow blinks before he decides he can’t waste anymore time. If they were discovered… discovered at any point, this would be over. That thought makes Yunho want to throw Mingi face down on the bed and take him right there, but he doesn’t. He’s still shaking slightly with his tears, and he hates to say that the way Mingi looks teary eyed is making him fill out more beneath his vestments. That was dirty. He shouldn’t think that about his friend, but Mingi’s face was always something he caught himself staring at. Now, staring up at him, face red and streaked with tears and glistening eyes… that pouty lip quivering slightly with aftershocks of his sobbing. Yunho bites his lip. He leans forward, kissing and lapping at the stray tears still left on Mingi’s skin. His hips rock forward to slot against the man beneath him and Mingi’s hands curl around Yunho’s back to clutch at the fabric of his vestments.

Mingi mewls beneath Yunho when his hips rock against him harshly. It doesn’t feel like it’s enough. There’s still tears pricking at the corners of his eyes and he sees Yunho zero in on them like a hound would something it was hunting. There’s an emotion there that makes Mingi’s cock leak in the tight confines of his trousers beneath his vestments.

“I need more,” he whispers, coaxing Yunho on top of him more. The older priest goes willingly, hand still clutching the back of Mingi’s neck as he kisses the tears there. How would he look, how would he sound, how would he cry when he was pushed against the bed with his ass in the air, taking whatever Yunho gave him? Heavens, save me. He might be beyond help.

“Needy princess,” Yunho moves his mouth to nip at Mingi’s ear which is rewarded with a small whine. He can’t deny that, so he doesn’t. Instead he wraps his legs around Yunho, pawing at his chest so he keeps moving. Of course, Yunho obliges. He moves his hips in earnest, feeling the way Mingi’s clothed cock drags against his own. The younger priest buries his face into Yunho’s shoulder to quiet his whiny noises. That didn’t suit him much. He’s forced away, flat against the bed with Yunho’s strong hand splayed across his chest. Towering over him like this, Yunho is prettier than he’s ever been. Mingi is a large man, but he enjoys being treated like he’s much smaller. Like a princess. “I want to hear you.”

“Yes,” a nod, and Yunho grabs Mingi by his hips and pulls him flush against him. He can see the strained fabric of his trousers and vestments against his own hard cock and that makes him bite his lip. What did it look like? He’s imagined it sometimes, what Yunho’s cock looked and felt like in his hands. He doesn’t know if Yunho would let him find the answer to that tonight.

As told, Mingi doesn’t hide his noises. His legs have been hooked around Yunho’s waist and he’s helpless, but he likes that. Likes being man handled, like when Yunho moves his hand from his chest to his hair and pulls a handful of raven locks tight in his grip.

“You still need more?” Yunho’s voice is deeper than it usually was. Mingi whines, back arching up off the bed when Yunho’s free hand goes to grip at his ass, “Hm?”

“Always need more.”

“You’ve always been needy, princess,” Yunho repeats. Once again, there’s no argument against it, “Especially for me…. I’ve always known that,” glued to his side, seeking his attention. It’s a shock he hadn’t confessed earlier. The signs were all there. It was the guilt he felt about it that kept him away. How silly now. Seeing Mingi beneath him, cheek pressed against the bed while he whined and cried, he didn't think anything was more precious than this.

The hand on Mingi’s ass moves between them to squeeze the painful tent in Mingi’s trousers. He can’t stop the sharp whine that leaves him.

“More?” He asks with that look that sends Yunho over the moon. What did more mean to him? Yunho always feels himself close. He couldn’t handle so much within such little time. But if Mingi asked for it he got it. Yunho takes a hand and slips it underneath the younger priest’s vestments and trousers. His long fingers find Mingi’s aching cock and he strokes the best he can with the space he has, “Yunho—“ His name sounds good on his lips like this. The other man nods, rutting his hips harder so Mingi rocks against the bed beneath him. He thanks the Lord his bed isn’t creaky.

“You’re wet, Princess,” He can feel the pre already coating his fingers. He may have never had sex, but he’s not exactly a stranger to it. He reads the books that come in before Father Kim can take them away. He’s surprised at the words that spill from his lips, though. The man beneath him whines and throws his wrist over his mouth, eyes not quite meeting Yunho. He's never called him Princess this much before. It’s always been Mingi, or Father Song. He could get used to it. “Pretty when you cry, too.”

“If you keep—I’m gonna—“ That only eggs him on. Yunho squeezes hard, hips bucking forward harshly at the noise Mingi makes in response. He’s humping like some kind of animal, doesn’t even have the decency to remove their clothes, but he can’t help it. He missed his Mingi so much, “Yunho—I’m—It’s…” More tears sting at the corners of his eyes and Yunho is there, quick to kiss and lick them away while a purr sounds in his chest.

“I want you to. For me, Mingi,” For Yunho? Anything for Yunho. Mingi comes unraveled with a little whine and a choking sob. Yunho sees him stiffen beneath him and his hips move up into the grip on his cock. He feels him, feels the warm release on his hand that couples with the copious amounts of pre already there. Even though the fabric is dark, Yunho sees a dark patch on the front of Mingi’s trousers. It was a good thing he wore something above it… and they were about to retire for the night.

Yunho removes his hand, though he keeps his hips moving to chase his own release. Mingi lays there beneath him, looking up at Yunho who’s grunting and staring at him with those big, dark eyes. Mingi is helpless to stare back.

“Next time,” Yunho promises while he feels his cock kick in his pants, “I’ll f-fuck you next time… so good, I’ll treat you good, Princess,” Next time. There will be a next time.

“You always do,” Mingi says back as he watches Yunho cum above him. The man grits his teeth and turns his head while his hips spasm and knock against Mingi’s. That sends a spark of pleasure down Mingi’s spine, coupled with a twinge of pain from his recent release, but he doesn’t exactly mind.

Yunho is above Mingi, panting for a few moments before the younger priest opens his arms and Yunho is helpless to fall into his embrace. It’s a tangle of long limbs while Yunho peppers Mingi’s face in kisses.

“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned,” Yunho is grinning, though his face is buried in Mingi’s neck. The younger makes a surprised noise. A confession? Right now? He was hardly in the condition to do so. Neither of them were, “It has been 3 weeks since my last confession.”

“Yes, child?” But Mingi will play along.

“I hurt the man dearest to me. I couldn’t see past my… my own demons to see he had always been the man he said he was. This is my sin,” he whispers. His demons. He will regret calling his religion a demon. Mingi’s eyes spark to life as he smiles and laughs a bit, “Father, my penance?”

“Your penance!” Mingi laughs harder and Yunho feels his heart flutter at the face he makes. Happiness looks good on him, “10 Hail Mary’s… and a kiss,” there’s an impish grin on his face and Yunho chuckles.

“That sounds like a fair punishment to me, Father.”

“He’s very good at playing priest,” Wooyoung snaps a bit at Yeosang who has his hands folded behind his back. They pace the darkened halls of the devilish cathedral…. Without Mingi, “But Mother knows. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that he does.”

“And when he confronts him he will be flayed,” Yeosang says in agreement. Wooyoung makes a little noise, like a cross between a scoff and a sigh. “I’ve seen Father Jeong.”

“Yunho,” Wooyoung corrects, “I’ve seen him too.”

“Yes. Can you really blame him, then?” Yeosang asks while looking at the other devil. A bored expression crosses over Wooyoung’s ashen grey face and he scoffs again, “You have your eyes on a priest as well. Don’t act like that.”

“I do!” Wooyoung laughs, “And? I’m not in love with him,” he lies through his teeth despite never seeing the elder Choi face to face. Yeosang gives him a blank stare in response. He’s not quite sure what that means. Wooyoung curls his lip before snapping at Yeosang’s shoulder, to which the fallen angel jumps back a bit. “Focus on your own priest.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Yeosang sighs, “I would focus on Mingi if I was smart.”

“I’ve never been very smart.”

“You said it, not me.”

Notes:

i write yungi for one person and one person only