"Just Who is Argenti, and Why is He Everywhere?"
An epistolary fic written by an original tabloid news reporter for the online publication "Galactic Hotties", about the cryptid Argenti.
Just Who is Argenti, and Why is He Everywhere?
A deep dive into the trending mystery man
by Shin Lastname, reporter for Galactic Hotties tabloid
After Penacony’s most recent Soulglad™ Festivity Auditions, a mysterious man calling himself “Argenti of the Honorclad and Knight of Beauty” took the interweb by storm. His outfit and lance may suggest some historical medieval roleplay gimmick, but yes, in this day of technology and space travel, he is an honest-to-Qlipoth knight like in ancient legend. Silver armor is seen on his person in every single recorded instance of his appearance, alongside roses and an antiquated method of speaking.
Between the video edits adding cat ears to his head, the rabid posts made by his fans, his habit of appearing with gleaming lights, and his awe-inspiring shampoo commercial wavy hair, you would expect him to be a bizarre up-and-coming galactic idol. Allegedly, there are more members of the Knights of Beauty similar to him, which makes them sound even more like an idol group, but as written by the Nameless themselves:
Astral Express Public Data Bank > Factions > Knights of Beauty
Among the legions of Idrila's followers, the most infatuated with classical beauty formed the Knights of Beauty. They ride their faithful and dexterous mounts and chant ancient beautiful songs, as they fearlessly travel from planet to planet, extolling the name of Idrila to the beings of the universe.
The Knights of Beauty are extremely self-disciplined. They stubbornly abide by an obsolete creed known as the Code of Chivalry, believing that only through a perfectly refined body, mind, and spirit can they become truly worthy of worshipping Idrila…
…Rumor has it that the Knights of Beauty do not believe in the fall of Idrila. They shuttle back and forth across the universe, their source of power still a mystery.
So despite how outlandish it may seem, the Knights of Beauty are a (possibly extremist?) religious group worshipping the Aeon of Beauty Idrila, and not a boyband. And Argenti is its most and only visible member, due to a clip circulating from a recent IPC news segment.
Originally shared by @funny_universe_daily:
[VIDEO TRANSCRIPT]
The screen shows a reporter standing with a mic in hand on a landing dock with a man in armor next to him, medical personnel busy working behind both of them.
[Reporter] Coming to you live from an IPC ship located just outside Penacony, where Aventurine of the Ten Stonehearts was brought to emergency medical services by this very man in front of us…
[Reporter] This is Reporter Seabiscuit with the Interastral Peace Broadcast. Sir Knight, what happened to Mr. Aventurine and why was he with you?
[Knight of Beauty, identified later as Argenti] Greetings to you, sir. Please, take this rose as a token of my appreciation for your beauty and eloquence in speech. I found our beautiful IPC ambassador in the wretched grasp of the Nihility’s shadow as I was passing through, and escorted him post-haste to somewhere he could be treated for the deleterious effects of that environment.
Argenti bows from the waist to Seabiscuit with a rose in hand extended towards the reporter.
[Reporter] Ah… thank you, but we are not allowed to accept gifts on-duty for journalistic integrity.
[Reporter] Anyways, could you inform us more about the situation? How were you able to come across Mr. Aventurine and escape?
[Argenti] Of course! After dropping off thirty-two other souls in distress before entering Penacony’s orbit, there was a sudden flash of red, and I found myself with my beloved One and Only within the confines of THEIR shadow. The monochrome scenery within had its own beauty to it, but Mr. Aventurine stood out as a peacock does amongst dull plumage in the distant horizon of IX.
[Argenti] I then invited him aboard my vessel as he confessed he had lost his way, and after some time flying through the strange space we, praise be to Idrila, returned safely to the grand embrace of Penacony.
[Reporter] What an unbelievable journey… thank you for sharing your story. Any final comments?
[Argenti] I hope you believe in Idrila.
Argenti bows again and walks off, camera following his back to a small spacecraft engraved with metal roses.
[END VIDEO]
This clip would have remained as a unique, but obscure interview if not for a quote from user @thalassafreak with 480K shares and 1.4M likes as of the time of publishing:
water is wet
@thalassafreak
HOLY SHIT??? Isnt that the insane guy who won the soulglad auditions on peniscony last year??? tf is he doing here after he saved my cousin, how is this man everywhere
Funny Universe Daily 
@fun_uni_daily · Jan 11
Weird interview with Knight of Beauty:
480K Retweets 9.3K Quote Tweets 140M Likes
water is wet @thalassafreak · Jan 11 Replying to @thalassafreak
don’t ask me for details my aunt was rly shaken up abt it and idk how to ask my cousin. He got caught in the stomach of a giant worm thing, yeah it sounds insane, u can believe it or not idc! now we all watch whenever he appears in the festival bc my cousin has a massive crush on him loooool
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:3c (nya/nyaself) @xXlonelykittyXx · Jan 11 Replying to @thalassafreak
That’s the man who saved me from my planet exploding a few years back. I knew I wasn’t hallucinating who dropped me off at the emergency escape point nya!!!
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DUMP TRUCK MADNESS!!! @taiki_yan_179 · Jan 11 Replying to @thalassafreak
thot my friend was crazy when they said a hot guy stabbed open the 234236554 micas thick argonollite city pipes with his spear to put out a fire + gave them a rose
there’s some sicko out there like that fr?
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Argenti appeared after this in the broadcast final rounds of this year’s Soulglad™ Festivity Auditions, having entered Penacony late to the event due to rescuing Aventutine. He was against the famous newest Nameless and their unknown competition partner, but conceded after an edited out conversation with the two. Argenti then proclaimed their worthiness and beauty to win the contest and stepped aside to let the Trailblazer and girl ascend to the final podium. What could have happened during that talk? Regardless, it was a huge upset to local betting polls for the winner. No one could have expected that the running favorite, Argenti, would lose to a first time competitor.
A week after the competition ended, the IPC would announce that Aventurine was stable and recuperating with the Doctors of Chaos after a close call with Nihility, with thanks to the Knights of Beauty for their assistance. Unfortunately the Aventurine Cornerstone, a sliver of Qilpoth’s power that is personally granted by one of THEIR Emanators to each of the Ten Stonehearts of the IPC, shattered protecting Mr. Aventurine from the effects of the Nihility. Nothing in the universe should be able to break something directly blessed by Qilpoth except with another Aeon’s power (in this case, IX). This then begs the question: How did Argenti survive?
Going back to the Astral Express Data Bank entry, one very important part stands out:
“…Rumor has it that the Knights of Beauty do not believe in the fall of Idrila. They shuttle back and forth across the universe, their source of power still a mystery.”
Could this be the power of Idrila THEMSELF protecting him? Do all Knights of Beauty, well, look that beautiful because of that power? Does admission to the Knights come with a free Aeonic facelift and rhinoplasty? Other mysteries surrounding Argenti include his penchant for gifting live roses out of thin air, the petals that surround him with every step, and his ability to summon a literal spotlight on himself with no noticeable light source. There are many species and unexplained phenomena across the universe, but this is not documented for any known humanoid race. Argenti appears to be IPC standard homo sapiens, being quite tall but not outside of the possible range of human height, only appearing in the last couple Trailblaze years with an unknown age, and achieving physical feats that are still possible if his armor contains enhancements like a mechanical exoskeleton. Or this could all be Idrila’s power, somehow, even if THEY are presumed dead by most.
More recently, Argenti was seen at the Xianzhou Fleet Luminary Wardance Ceremony, known colloquially as the Wardance. For those unaware of the event, it is hosted by the Xianzhou every so often when time and resources permit, and is a martial arts competition open to all entrants in the form of ranked elimination matches. He was invited as one of their honorary referees for the repechage match, which is a fancy word for a one-time chance to bring a popular eliminated contender back to the competition. This time he was against Luka “Strongarm” (which we have an exclusive interview with), and gave the Belobog representative his mark of approval to return via recognition of “the Beauty in his fighting”.
An anonymous web commentator on the Skysplitter official discussion forums posted:
Xianzhou Luofu > Events > Wardance
General Thread
Anonymous
The Luofu made a great call to invite the Knights of Beauty as guests.
Firstly, they all look good, so the tickets sell like hotcakes. Secondly, they have both outstanding martial prowess and peerless morals, so they would never accidentally hurt their opponent. Thirdly, they're basically monastic monks and do not care much for the invitation fee, making them very cost-effective.
Now that I think about it, Argenti really did seem to take a liking to Luka. Maybe it's because they look similar.
We couldn’t agree more with that last bit! Both Argenti and Luka were exceedingly handsome in the arena, with matching fiery passions and bright red hair. To use their statement as a starting point for further discussion though, the poster claims “they [Knights of Beauty] all look good”. This is hearsay however, as other Knights of Beauty have not been publicly photographed nor recorded other than Argenti.
Past confirmed anecdotes from those saved by a Knight of Beauty usually mention a few different Knights by name with little to no description past “beautiful” and more frequently, “wordy”. These officially recorded situations are few and far between as most saved do not make public news, and can only post online without proof due to being rescued from sudden extreme situations. All invites to the Knights of Beauty as an organization in the current Amber Era have not been responded to, except in the few times Argenti happens to arrive (usually last minute or late). It is a faction only known to exist to the universe relatively recently after the fall of Idrila, and whether it existed before is unknown.
A personal hypothesis is that the sight of gorgeous, virtuous Pathstriders of Beauty parading around doing good deeds would’ve been more common before Idrila was assumed to have died. Those who stuck around as believers of a dead Aeon would then become much more notable and self-selected as extreme worshippers. Thus, the universe at large learnt of the Knights of Beauty as a group, and not just random eccentric individual do-gooders walking the path of Beauty. We do not know much about their membership and rules, but if anyone can put us in contact with Argenti or another Knight, we would love to interview them. Just looking at Argenti himself, the assumption that all Knights of Beauty are similar in strength, morals, and looks feels possible but is currently unproven.
Similar groups to the Knights of Beauty have existed before, as noted in the Intelligentsia Guild’s historical records of Milky-IV (also known as Earth)
IntGuild Archives > Religious groups across the universe > … > Christianity on Milky-IV > Knights Templar
Index: Knights Templar
Key terms: Milky-IV, Earth, religious combat, Christian, Catholic
Time Period: ~AE 1100-1300 / 5400-6700 SC
Knights Templar
The Knights Templar were a Catholic military group affiliated with Christianity, one of Milky-IV’s major religions. Members of the group wore white robes with a red cross to symbolize their purity and chasity with a specific code of conduct and prayer to their deity named God. The organization consisted of priests, financial managers, and the Templar knights, an elite cavalry knight unit fighting in the Crusades War.
Involvement in the Crusades War
Knightly code of conduct
The Templar knights were known for their strength on the battlefield, refusing to retreat unless all their flags had fallen, and considered it a great honor to die in combat. All members gave their wealth away upon joining and swore to “God and Our Lady” a life of poverty, chasity, piety, obedience to the Knights Templar group, and to fight for their Holy Land.
Other
A current-day faction reminiscent of the Knights Templar are the Knights of Beauty, who follow some similar monastic rules and have knightly combat ability, but they differ in how they are focused on worship of Idrila and not war in God’s name.
Citations: “Histories of Galactic Religious Wars” Nelson, General Candelagraphos publication, 2135 AE. “Chinon Document Transcript” Nelson, Remaining Documents from Milky-IV, pg. 539, 2131 AE.
This extremely niche information was referenced to us by the cartographer Nelson himself, who resides in the Dreamflux Reef of Penacony. It would not have even crossed our minds until speaking with him when working on this article about Argenti and the Knights of Beauty. Do drop by if you’re in the area and chat with him! He is one of the few experts specializing in Penaconian history and a living (memetic entity) former member of the Intelligentsia Guild with knowledge of strange and wonderful history across the cosmos.
Argenti was later spotted chatting with Luka on the Skysplitter, as well as with another competitor, Boothill, on the Luofu. Given that Boothill is a wanted Galaxy Ranger with a billion-credit bounty (click here for our list of wanted hotties) it’s strange he was allowed to participate in the Wardance, but it seems he was granted some sort of temporary immunity by the Xianzhou for the competition. Even stranger, the two were recorded via cycrane on the Luofu in Central Starskiff Haven with Argenti chasing Boothill for several hours giving some sort of nonstop lecture.
[VIDEO TRANSCRIPT]
Recording from an angle slightly above a crowd, the audio is unclear due to atmospheric noise interference.
A cyborg man pushes through gaps between people, followed closely by a man in armor.
[Cyborg man, later identified as Boothill] -away from me, you son of a nice lady! Don’t ya have, I dunno-
[Armored man, later identified as Argenti] -my knightly duty! You have committed a great wrong against your fellow beautiful metal and flesh man. Why, I ought-
[Boothill] Shut yer yap alre-
[Argenti] Idrila would not-
Boothill reaches for the gun in his holster. Argenti seemingly moves to stop him, but ends up making loud clashing noises from metal colliding, causing Boothill to take his hand off his gun. People in the crowd start and move away, forming a silent wary circle watching the two.
[Boothill] When in Lan’s name is this yap gonna end, ya big lunk of metal? D’ya really wanna duel it out right here, right now?
[Argenti] As you put it, we are both similarly ‘big lunks of metal’. Dear silver cowboy, I implore you with our matching metal exteriors and righteous interiors to share my wisdom as well. I understand the allure and hotheadedness of battle, and how it may lead one astray-
[Boothill] -this shirt again-
[Argenti] In the name of all that is beautiful, you must apologize-
[Boothill] Apologies, shmologies. Wait a gosh darned minute, is that Idrila over there?
He points in a direction behind Argenti towards the crowd.
[Argenti] (gasping) My word, really? What a blessed reunion if-
Argenti looks towards the direction indicated, and Boothill leaps over the railing onto a passing starskiff to various screams as the other man’s back is turned.
Boothill lets out a loud whoop from atop a starskiff.
[Argenti] There is no sign of THEIR beauty… If you have fooled me with this same deception for the fifth time again, you… you brute-
Argenti turns back after a few seconds, head turning in various directions until he seemingly spots Boothill. He then also leaps over the railing onto another starskiff, to more screams from the crowd.
[END VIDEO]
Other times that Argenti has been recorded on the Luofu includes sparring on an empty Central Starskiff Haven dock with Yanqing, the understudy of General Jing Yuan, a young girl, and a few members of the Astral Express.
Argenti has also featured as a stuntman in popular Xianzhou Luofu influencer Lil Gui’s livestream titled “Man vs SPACE?!?!! (ft. Knight of Beauty Argenti)”.
To summarize the now-deleted stream, Argenti was tied to a large illegal rocket with a Diting and launched into the sky above the Cloudford docks. He then escaped the ropes as the rocket exploded into fireworks, and fell down to the launchpad with the impact kicking up an enormous cloud of dust. After a tense minute of waiting for the smoke to clear, Argenti emerged in pristine condition with his hair perfectly untouched, holding the Diting safe in his arms. The crowd burst into wild cheers of “Argenti! Argenti! Argenti!” and started celebrating with fireworks and confetti provided by Lil Gui’s friends. The Cloud Knights eventually found the scene after being alerted by the explosion, broke up the celebratory afterparty, and fined Lil Gui a sum of 10,000 strale for her stunt and property damage, along with a slap on the wrist to “not cause a diplomatic incident with the Knights of Beauty, even if Sir Argenti’s participation was voluntary”.
In order to pay off the fine, she later started a SpaceFund campaign, offering exclusive photos of Argenti based on donation tiers. It rocketed past (pun intended) its goal within a few days, and Lil Gui then released the only photos of Argenti without his armor in different outfits to this date.
Various companies reached out to Argenti after seeing his potential for modeling and brand collaboration, but were either unable to make contact with the elusive Knight, or received a polite, but strongly worded refusal on the basis of the Knights of Beauty Code of Chivalry when approached in person. One notable leaked Intellitron black box audio export was from a frustrated Galaxy Aromatherapy outreach representative trying to get Argenti to collaborate for a perfume line:
[AUDIO TRANSCRIPT]
[Representative] But you took photos before for money! How is this any different?!
[Argenti] It was for the sake of assisting with a dear friend’s debt, one she would have a most difficult time repaying. She crafted a beautifully creative idea for us to show gratitude for her asking her supporters to contribute funds. How could I turn down a lady in need, and simultaneously demonstrate in flesh and soul my devotion to Idrila’s way of Beauty?
[Representative] (angry noise) This, this is a once-in-a-hundred Amber Era offer you, you’re an idiot for turning it down!
(Indistinct shouts and noises)
[Representative] You arrogant! Bastard! Hypocrite! You- aaarrghhh! Why don’t you shove that, that stupid, annoying, dumb… stupid code up your-
[Argenti] (muffled by volume of yelling -must be- … -Idril-… -expedien-…
(loud clank noise)
(2 seconds of buzzing and crackling noise)
[END OF AUDIO RECORDING]
According to the Foxian intern accompanying the representative, she recounted that the enraged Intellitron started to physically intrude on Argenti’s personal space to yell close to his face. The Knight sighed, turned his head towards her, and said, “My apologies, I must be going. Idrila forgive me for ending this expediently,” then whacked the representative with the shaft of his lance in the side storing an Intellitron’s main power generator. This short-circuited the man for a few minutes and he slumped to the ground, Argenti bowed to the frozen intern, then he walked back to his ship.
In the online space at large, “Argenti could’ve soloed Irontomb” has been a common phrase and meme shared when anything is posted about the Amphoreus incident, to the point where people who are not aware of who the meme is referring to use “he could’ve soloed Irontomb” as a powerscaling joke. Replies mentioning “Mr. Galaxywide” whenever a redhead appears randomly in any media are commenters joking about his bright red hair signaling his strange appearances all over the universe.
As a result of all these absurd situations that he seems to be a magnet for and his “Mr. Galaxywide” status, Argenti of the Knights of Beauty has garnered himself a small, but devoted online fanbase. Many spend time guessing as to where he will appear next, based on his last seen location, and scrape the internet for every single possible reference and media featuring Argenti. There are fanedits, fan chat groups, and even some fanwork. Ironically despite the attention, Argenti’s belief of spreading the virtues of Idrila has fallen to the wayside in favor of focusing on the man himself as a sort of e-celeb. At least the path of Beauty and THEIR devoted Knights have gained greater intergalactic recognition…?
Wherever he goes next, we're keeping an eye out for that flaming red hair and beautiful smile!
Follow-up edit: Galaxy Aromatherapy and DSM-Firmenich have released a rose-scented perfume called “Serment de la Rose” in an elegantly engraved red and gold glass bottle. The tagline for the perfume is: “I will defend all the beauty in the universe until the very last moment”.
Sounds familiar? Copyright evasion, anyone? There’s a rose-themed redhead knight out there known to frequently shout “I will defend all beauty in the universe, for Idrila!” during battle, who made a fool out of a representative from the very company marketing it… Get this perfume here with our affiliate code “GALACTICHOTTIES” to receive 10% off!
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Artwork by dh_t23! Thank you!!!
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Transcript work skinoh my god workskins on AO3 are so cursed. not a good html editor with the way it removes paragraphs in your code for separating your sections....... it's done, but if i feel inspired there will be more "articles". also 3.8 penacony retcon didn't happen to me ok argenti simply went to the nihility and pulled aventurine out using the power of idrila trust
yixinxd, Lowes, Mephles, SeasondSoap, notMilque, Ya_Local_Multi, averagejellyfishfan, Foggycho, and Littletomatofruit as well as 6 guests left kudos on this work!