Chapter Text
It’s been months since they got her back from the Place That Shouldn't Be Named. The first few weeks were the hardest, she had nightmares whenever she was able to sleep for more than one hour, quit CatCo (once again) to prioritize her Supergirl duties, had long and necessary but sometimes unpleasant conversations with Lena to rebuild their relationship; which is to say: lots of crying. She's healing though, as much as she can without proper treatment, because “how could Supergirl have a therapist, Kelly?”.
By far, the aspect of her life that has been recovering the best is her relationships. Supergirl was overwhelmed and burning out, Kara Danvers was… well, not a mistake, just a bit lost. But Kara Zor-El? She was doing something right. She's been mentoring Nia more often, hanging out with Kelly and Brainy, getting emotionally and physically closer to Lena, having sisters' nights, game nights, movie nights (those often became sleepovers, which is a very welcome bonus).
And speaking of movie night, the two just finished their movie marathon and are cuddling on Kara's couch. Her best friend is sitting sideways on her lap, with Kara scratching Lena's scalp which makes her involuntarily close her eyes and practically melt into the touch — if she was a cat, she would be purring.
“I love you.” Quiet, but certain.
And how could she not say it when Lena was existing being all cute and gorgeous so effortlessly? But it might have been the wrong move, because Lena got tense.
Kara beats herself up internally. One of the things they have talked about is their abandonment and trust issues, not just with each other but from previous situations. Those who manipulated, lied, left and died. She also remembers about how when they started being touchy, they agreed to just proceed with caution. Maybe that applies now too. The hand in Lena's hair stills.
“We– I know we agreed on taking things slow and you don't have to say anything back. And I know other people have said this to you when they didn't fully mean it, but I will show you that I do. I'll always be here, whenever, however you need or want me.” She hoped that was the right course of action, the last thing she wants is to make Lena more uncomfortable.
Lena just nods, her eyes shut. It makes Kara think she shouldn't have said anything, but she can't take it back now and reinforce her partner's doubts. She wouldn't want to take it back anyway.
“Can– can you say that again?” Her voice broken.
“I'll always be here for–”
“Not that.” She takes a deep breath, “the other thing. Before that.”
“I love you, Lena,” she says louder than the first time, but just as sure.
Lena turns to face her and gets closer until she lets her head fall on Kara's shoulder.
“I can't say it.” Tears wet the collar of her shirt.
She rubs Lena's back with one hand while the other continues to stroke her hair.
“I know, it's okay. I'm here.”
> > > × < < <
Darling 💙
| hi
| r u busy? 8:23PM
I thought you were on patrol 8:25PM |
| alex insisted i took the rest of the night off from any sg stuff so im free
| im still at the tower though
| i could get us some food 8:25PM
Kara has been so patient with her this week.
First Lena had to cancel on their weekly morning walk on Tuesday — they meet at Noonan’s for breakfast and walk to the park until they have to go their separate ways or go somewhere else together — then she was late for and zoning out during movie night on Wednesday, and finally, in that same night, Kara made her love known verbally and she couldn't do anything but sob. If Kara was mad at her, she couldn't blame her. Lena already knew she was a bad friend, but she's an even worse partner.
Kara will get tired of your shit sooner or later. it'll be sooner, there won't be a later, Kara will leave once she realizes she deserves better.
no she won't, she's too nice.
Ok I'm going. Just need to shower first. Then I'll meet you there 8:35PM |
| see you soon 🥰🥰💕 8:35PM
inhale, hold, exhale. inhale, hold, exhale.
She knows what she has to do.
here goes nothing…
I also wanted to talk about something 8:38PM |
Lena's shower takes longer than usual, with her thinking about what exactly she wants to talk about and how to do so. She puts on some comfortable clothes for a night in and portals to J’onn’s P.I. office.
She takes the elevator and finds who she's looking for at the break room on the 3rd floor. The food is already on the coffee table, which is surrounded by armchairs and couches. No one else seems to be here, they must be on another floor or at home.
“Hey.”
“Lena, hi!”
They hug and Kara pulls back sooner than Lena is expecting.
is she annoyed already?
“Hey… is everything okay? You said you wanted to talk.”
right. time to get this over with.
Lena musters up the courage to tell Kara what was going on and braces herself for the metaphorical impact. But instead she was met with:
“Lena, you didn't cancel our morning walk, we just changed it from Tuesday to Thursday because you were tired from staying up all night. And it's impossible to be late for spending the night in. Especially when you were busy working with Brainy on the Tower's defenses.”
She doesn't know how to respond to that so she stays quiet.
say something, you were the one who asked to talk.
“I'm a bad partner.”
“What do you mean? I'm sure Brainy loves working with you.”
“No, for you. I can't meet the deadlines. I can't keep up with you, I'm too slow. You should find something better.”
“Lena, this isn't a job and you're not a ‘something’. I've been late plenty of times, too, we're allowed to be late.” Her tone was kind, but left no room for discussion. “And also, you're ignoring all the good things you've done.”
She turns to Kara, confused.
“Like what?” She scoffs.
“Other than you saving my life countless times?”
She distracts herself playing with her food.
“Wait… what did you mean you're ‘too slow’? Am I moving too fast?”
She was hoping Kara wouldn't ask that. But since she did, Lena might as well be honest.
“The other night, you–” inhale, hold, exhale, “you were so sure and I couldn't say it back and then I cried? It's ridiculous! I'm–”
ridiculous, pathetic, not enough.
“Please don't finish that sentence,” pleading. “Lena, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be recovering this fast. I was having nightmare after nightmare until you started staying over.”
Kara looks like she's in pain and her voice is strained.
she's upset, you did this.
“Are you sure about it? I understand if you want to take it back. I won't be mad,” she avoided looking at Kara's eyes.
Kara, of course, knows what she's referring to.
“I'm not taking it back. I meant it, I mean it and I will never regret that I said it. Even when we get sad, upset or even angry with each other,” she reassures her. “Even if we have a fight.”
is that what people mean by ‘unconditional’ love?
“I don't understand why you would say that to me when I'm just… me.”
Kara reaches out for her hands. Lena lets her take them.
“I love you because you're you. I love having you in my life. And if you– if you want me not to say so, I won't, but just know that's how I feel.”
She takes some time to consider. It's not that she has reservations about Kara confessing her feelings, she was just unprepared, surprised and got lost in the past for a while.
“I guess I don't want you not to say it,” she says after calming down a bit.
“Oh? That's good to know.”
“I'm sorry I–” she cuts herself off, not sure why she's apologizing, and, instead of saying anything else, she caresses the back of Kara's hand with her thumb.
By the time they finish talking, the food is cold and Lena is getting tired. J’onn and Brainy were still at the Tower and joined them in casual conversation and updates on their defense system.
She wakes up from dozing off on Kara's shoulder. She checks the time on her watch and sees it's almost eleven. Kara is still talking to Brainy, J'onn must have gone home while she was sleeping.
She snuggles deeper in Kara's neck.
“Kara?” Sleepy.
“Hmm?”
“Kara…” Whiney.
“Yeah?”
“Darling…” Needy.
“What is it, baby?” Lena feels Kara's lips on her hair.
“I wanna go home.” Quiet.
Kara wraps up her chat with their Coluan friend (who is unsurprised, used to this type of scene between the two) and they portal back to Kara's.