Chapter Text
Roy suddenly broke the silence that had settled oh so comfortably in their kitchen.
"Will you be my husband?"
What.
"What?" Jason replied out loud this time, flabbergasted.
"Will you be my husband, for an undercover thing?" Roy elaborated with a quite put-upon indifference, nose still buried in a pile of papers. He is not fooling Jason though, his leg is shaking with nerves. "I get it if the answer is no. I can make it work either way."
Ah, yeah, an undercover assignment makes a lot more sense than a sudden proposal. The two of them might have been together for a few years now, but they've never talked about marriage. Jason would… would love to eventually, actually. But that conversation would have to happen first and Roy gets squirrel y and anxious when they talk about their relationship sometimes. Despite what the rumour mill may or may not assume, they aren't even 'officially' out as a couple to anyone, not as far as Jason knows at least.
Besides, Jason figures he'd have to legally exist again to make a wedding make sense.
Even then. Even if they had had a conversation about marriage and a conversation of Jason's legal status and everything else, Roy wouldn't ask Jason like this. Roy knows Jason better than anyone else. He knows Jason would like something more romantic than an off-hand question on a random Tuesday while the two of them are trying to figure out their taxes.
Taxation is important for social services or whatever, but Jason hates their taxes, specifically.
There are downsides to legal existence. Those downsides are nothing to the much more fun complications when two people are financially entwined and thus want to file joint taxes despite only one person legally existing and both of them having a whole bunch of masked work that is less than legal but also makes up some of your joint income and expenses. Both of them are good with numbers and Jason is tidy enough to keep track of all the paperwork, but man is it tedious. Making this whole tax process easier would actually be a good reason to exist again and then get married. They should ask around, surely there are cape-friendly accountants that are comfortable with their shades of grey.
Jason's pause is apparently plenty encouragement for Roy to start digging himself in. "This is going to be a long term operation without a zeta nearby and a lot of scrutiny on me and my family. You won't be able to commute to Gotham and you'll have to give up patrol and everything. So yeah no I get that this isn't really your thing and-"
Jason gently takes the now slightly wrinkled stack of order confirmations of arrow materials out of Roy's hands which immediately shuts him up. "Roy, unless you don't want me with you — and you asked so I don't think that is the case — I haven't heard a single reason why I wouldn't want to move along with you and Lian."
Calloused hands find calloused hands as Jason gently replaces the papers with gentle warmth. "I would like to know more before I officially agree. You haven't brought up this operation before after all. But my home is with you two. I'm not going to leave again unless you ask me to or I'm forced."
Roy sighs, the sort of world weary sigh of long procrastinated anxiety. Jason can guess why he hadn't brought it up before. One day he will get through to that beautiful redhead that he really isn't standing here with a foot out of the door. Even as he makes eye contact there is still some doubt woven in his expression.
"If I get lucky," Roy starts explaining, "it will be several months, 6 at the very least. A year of deep cover is more realistic and it might be longer, depending on what I find. Are you really sure that that is okay?"
"Yes?" Jason replies, slightly confused. The length is the opposite of a deterrent. Why the hell would he want to be without his partner and step kid for nearly a year? No amount of inconvenience and retirement would make that make sense. Jason wasn't that antsy trigger happy 19 year old that took Gotham by storm anymore. Five years of personal growth was plenty to at the very least set his helmet down for a good reason.
Jason gives Roy's hands a gentle squeeze. "I want to stand by you Roy. Just tell me what standing by you entails. Is this job something you and the Arrows stumbled into? Justice League? Titans? Are you being courted by the feds again?"
Jason might not be on the best of terms with any of those groups, but if Roy doesn't consider that prohibitive then Jason can take the high road and play nice. Even if it is his own family who are involved.
The reassurances and skin contact seem to be working ever so slowly to thaw the defensiveness and tension out of Roy. "I will get you the files, because I know you well enough that you'll want to go over it with a fine toothed comb." Jason deserves Roy's fond eye-roll, though that does not stop him from rolling his eyes in return. "There is this agency over in Superior, Wisconsin has been recruiting irregularly high numbers of lesser known vigilantes and vigilante associates."
"So. Best case someone who is very cape-friendly and wants to claim all those skills and abilities for their own. Worst case it's a secret task force or they're building an army or something experimental or whatever sort of villain bullshit," Jason concludes. "I suppose you are taking a job with them?"
Roy nods. "I am. I haven't put in my application yet, I wanted to check in with you before it did, but everything is ready to go."
It makes sense that it is Roy who is doing this. He's worked with the feds before and his identity is already known. Arsenal has worked about everywhere — between titans missions, the outlaws and rent-a-bat — so its not out of character that he's moving. Besides, he does have actual experience with undercover work.
The hands in Jason's grip tense a little. "Like I said before, we can't— It means giving up on Gotham and our work as Red Hood and Arsenal though. For the entire duration."
Jason nods. "You are right, there is no way in hell that I'm not suspicious already. There is no way for me to be Red Hood without drawing too much attention and risking someone figuring it out. Best case then would be that it ruins your chances of getting the intel you need."
Neither of them needs to say the worst case out loud.
Roy's eyes find Jason's and it is like he is staring deep into Jason's soul. Searching for something. "I need you to be sure you are committing to it though. If you are going to get bored then— then— I don't- If you are going to leave I need you to—"
Roy gives Jason this look and Jason gets it. He hasn't been legally alive for a long time. His current life is half a very literal stay at home dad and half Red Hood. Most other capes are a civilian first and then pick up a mask second. Even the ones who grew up in it, like Roy, have civilian jobs and friends and colleagues and hobbies. Jason doesn't really have those and hasn't tried to change that before. But like hell is that going to stop him from being with his favourite people.
"I'm not going to leave you Roy," Jason interrupts him. Jason is scared of commitment, but that is in part because commitment, to him, is down to his bones. He has gotten attached and no amount of boredom is going to change that. He doesn't work like that. "Please just believe me?"
Jason is not going to back down from the challenge of fighting that boredom either. He has survived too much to let the the idea of being himself and nothing but himself stop him. Fuck that noise. Fuck Roy for even thinking that Jason can't do it. "I can handle giving up the Hood," Jason states with a confidence he does not feel. Roy looks sceptical, so Jason can do nothing but double down. "Fuck you, I can. I'll…" Quick. Think. Most adults have jobs or hobbies, especially by the time all their kids are school going and pretty self-sufficient. "I'll be your stay-at-home novelist partner."
Jason had fantasised about writing a novel when he was a teen. Maybe as his profession, but even if he had picked another career then he wanted to do it at least once. Surely he would have. But then everything else happened and things did not stop happening. He never felt like he had a good enough reason to take time off from cape bullshit and learn how to write, but now that circumstance would force him to…
Roy's scepticism makes room for a fond smile. It is one of Jason's favourites, warm and filled with freckles and laughter lines near his eyes. "Yeah. That would suit you," he says like it is a declaration of love. And it might as well be.