Work Text:
Group Chat: track limits
Lando:
max got disqualified 😭
George:
Unfortunate.
Truly.
Devastating.
Max:
i will log into your sim and delete everything
George:
Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.
Max:
russell, don't test me.
i WILL run you over
Lando:
THERE HE IS 😭
Charles:
He is innocent.
George:
He literally broke the rules.
Charles:
Allegedly.
Max:
not allegedly
they literally told me
it's literally news.
Charles:
Not his fault.
Max:
correct
Oscar:
so what does this mean
Max:
it means the team is stupid
Oscar:
oh ok
makes sense.
Kimi:
i just heard toto on the phone
Lando:
????
Kimi:
he sounded really angry
like…
german angry
George:
…oh no
Ollie:
is that worse than normal angry???
Kimi:
he said "how do you use seven sets when the rule is six"
Gabi:
fair.
Max:
i am going to disappear
Charles:
No you are not.
We stand together.
I stand with my war criminal, cancelled wife.
As always.
Oscar:
same
Kimi:
same
Ollie:
same
Gabi:
same
Lando:
THIS IS NOT HELPING HIS CASE 😭
Alex:
i mean… using 7 sets when the limit is 6 is kind of impressive
like statistically
George:
Thank you.
Alex:
no im not on your side
im just confused how it happens
Pierre:
Mon dieu… this is painful.
You dominate and then… this?
Max:
yes
this
Pierre:
I would not speak to anyone for at least 3 days.
Yuki:
he already does that
Lewis:
Max, I'm sorry. That's rough.
Fernando:
No.
This is not rough.
This is incompetence.
Max:
thank you
Lewis:
That's not -
Fernando:
If you dominate a race by one minute and they take it away because of tyres, you burn the paddock down.
Lewis:
Fernando you cannot encourage that.
Fernando:
Who the fuck do you think you are to tell me what to do
Seb:
I mean he does have a point.
Jenson:
He really does.
George:
Let's be honest though, Max, rules are rules.
Max:
i will actually fight you
Lewis:
Max -
Max:
not you
him
Lewis:
…appreciated?
George:
You can't threaten violence every time someone disagrees with you.
Max:
watch me
Lando:
😭😭😭
Oscar:
max you said no violence
Max:
not for him
Charles:
Max.
Max:
...
fine
only a little violence
Carlos:
This is why you always count everything.
Tyres
Laps
Strategy
Life.
Max:
shut up carlos
Carlos:
I am just saying, I would not get disqualified from a win.
Oscar:
you'd get disqualified from quali first
Lando:
osc????
uncalled for.
Kimi:
also toto said something else
George:
What now?
Kimi:
"we rescheduled the entire race weekend for him and THIS is what happens"
Lando:
OH WAIT THATS TRUE 😭
Ollie:
he moved the race???
Kimi:
yeah
it was on an f1 weekend
now it wasn't
Gabi:
that's insane
Isack:
toto heard max wanted to race and said "we will move the earth"
Max:
i did not ask him to do that
George:
Oh you absolutely didn't.
He just felt like it.
Lando:
toto is actually down catastrophic for max 😭
Charles:
As he should be.
George:
I am right here.
Charles:
I said what I said.
Lewis:
So just to clarify…
Toto rescheduled an entire Nürburgring race so Max could attend…
Seb:
Yes.
Lewis:
Max then dominates it…
Jenson:
Correct.
Lewis:
And then gets disqualified because the team used too many tyres?
Max:
when you put it like that -
fuck my luck
i'm so angry
Fernando:
Good.
Use the anger.
Lewis:
No.
Fernando:
Yes.
Lewis:
No.
Fernando:
Yes.
Seb:
This is like watching the toxic divorced parents.
Jenson:
We've seen worse.
Nico R:
We really have.
Lewis:
…don't
Nico R:
What? It's true.
Lewis:
Not today.
Ollie:
OH MY GOD BROCEDES ONLINE TOGETHER 😭
Lando:
max serious question
Max:
what
Lando:
how do you even use 7 sets
Max:
i.
don't.
know
Lando:
???
Max:
i drive the car
i don't count tyres like an accountant
George:
It's called responsibility.
Max:
it's called your face being very punchable
Yuki:
how do you not notice extra tyres???
they are literally tyres
Max:
thank you yuki very helpful
Yuki:
no seriously
someone is blind
Kimi:
toto is still yelling by the way
George:
Please stop updating us
Lando:
ignore regina, we all do
Gabi:
hes losing it
Max:
it's fine
Lando:
???
Max:
it's just trial run
George:
???
You got disqualified from a win.
Max:
yes
and i learned more in this race than you will EVER do
Lando:
MAX PLS 😭
George:
That doesn't even make sense.
Max:
car felt good
long runs were good
traffic management good
i don't care about a stupid dsq
George:
You clearly do.
Max:
only because you're talking
George:
That's not how results work.
Max:
i don't care
it's nls
like i said, it's basically testing
Carlos:
Exactly.
You take what you learn and you come back stronger.
George:
Why is everyone suddenly okay with ignoring rules?
Pierre:
we're not ignoring them
we're just… moving past them
Fernando:
This is correct mentality.
NLS is about understanding.
Not results.
Max:
finally someone intelligent
Lewis:
He just told you to commit arson ten minutes ago.
Max:
and he was right
Lewis:
…
Nico R:
See, this is what happens when you encourage nonsense.
Lewis:
I'm encouraging nonsense?
Nico R:
You never stopped doing that in 2016 either.
Lewis:
That is not even remotely the same situation.
Nico R:
You say that now.
Seb:
Oh this is getting tense
I'm enjoying this a bit too much
But to be fair, Nando's not wrong.
Jenson:
Exactly, it's all about seat time before the 24hr.
Lando:
max is just out here doing side quests 😭
Max:
yes
and still better than all of you
Jenson:
It's proper endurance prep.
Seb:
Seat time, traffic, consistency.
Max:
exactly
Arvind:
sorry I was asleep.
what did i miss?
Ollie:
MATE
brocedes lore
Lewis:
Nothing you need to worry about.
Nico R:
He crashed into me.
Lewis:
ONCE.
Nico:
Multiple times.
Lewis:
That is factually incorrect.
George:
I regret asking nothing and still getting this information.
Max:
sounds like a skill issue
Lando:
MAX 😭
Nico R:
I won the championship.
Lewis:
and then retired
Seb:
he's not wrong
Max:
can we NOT gang up on him
Fernando:
No, this is good.
We revisit trauma, we grow stronger.
Lewis:
That is not how that works.
Max:
anyway
as i was saying
i learned more there than in these stupid 2026 cars
Lando:
NOT THIS AGAIN 😭
Max:
battery simulator
i lift and coast more than i drive
George:
It's called efficiency.
Max:
it's called boring
and SOULESS.
Fernando:
He is right.
These cars are not racing cars.
They are calculators.
Lewis:
Okay, they're not that bad -
Fernando:
They are worse.
Kimi:
update
George:
Please stop
Kimi:
toto just said "i will personally count the tyres next time"
Ollie:
😭
Gabi:
he's going to be at the pit wall with a checklist
Carlos:
I mean if Toto is counting tyres himself next race, I want to see that.
Alex:
he's going to have a clipboard like gabi said
Yuki:
and still be scary
Max:
he can count whatever he wants
i'm still driving
Charles:
And winning.
Max:
yes charlie.
George:
Not officially.
Max:
george
George:
Yes?
Max:
stop talking
Nico R:
Max, listen.
Max:
no
Nico R:
No, actually listen.
This is good for you.
Max:
how
Nico R:
Adversity builds champions.
In 2016 -
Max:
i ruined your life in 2016
Lewis:
Do we really need to talk about 2016?
Nico R:
Yes.
And look how that turned out.
Seb:
He does have a point.
Jenson:
That's annoyingly true.
Max:
fine
i'm just annoyed
Fernando:
Good.
Be angry.
Channel it.
Lewis:
Not everything needs to be fuel for destruction.
Fernando:
Everything is fuel.
Charles:
Max, come home quick please.
Lando:
oh ffs "oh look at us we love eachother. look at us we're married and SO in love."
Ollie:
jealous much?
Charles:
Thank you, Ollie, my child.
Max, mon ange, we will ignore the FIA together like i just ignored Lando.
Max:
ok
George:
Well, you can't just ignore the rules.
Charles:
Watch us.
Oscar:
dad -
i meant - max
you won though right
Max:
technically... yes
Oscar:
so you're still the best
Isack:
correct
Charles:
Exactly.
Titles are temporary. Being better than everyone else is forever.
Lando:
this is the most ferrari thing you've ever said
Ollie:
let's add that to the words of wisdom.
Lando:
also why's no one talking about how osc just called max "dad"
???
😭😭😭
Kimi:
toto just got quieter
Ollie:
thats worse
Kimi:
yeah
George:
I'm just saying, if Mercedes needs someone reliable -
Max:
oh my god
George:
Someone who follows all the rules - I'm simply saying -
Max:
i will take your seat
George:
You are not even -
Max:
yet.
Lando:
this might not even be an exaggeration
count your days georgie 😭
Charles:
If anyone replaces anyone, it will not be my husband.
George:
You proudly call him your husband every 2 seconds like he's not actively threatening people.
Charles:
That is part of his charm.
George:
You're enabling this.
Charles:
Correct.
Nico R:
Max, one more thing.
Max:
what
Nico:
Next time, count the tyres.
Lando:
you're so real for that 😭
Max:
thanks for nothing britney
anyway
AS I SAID
it doesn't matter
it's just prep for the actual one
Seb:
Exactly.
Jenson:
That's the real goal.
Fernando:
Win that.
Then no one can say anything.
George:
They will still say something.
Max:
then i will ignore them too like toto ignores your existence
George:
Okay now that's just rude and -
Yuki:
george.
stop
you are making it worse for yourself
Alex:
this is not a fight you're winning mate
Carlos:
I would start updating my CV if I were you.
Oscar:
anyway
im going to sleep
goodnight max
Kimi:
goodnight
Ollie:
night
Gabi:
night!!
Charles:
I am waiting.
Lando:
OH MY GOD 😭
Max:
i'm leaving right now.
Fernando:
Rest.
Tomorrow we attack again.
Lewis:
We are not attacking anyone.
Fernando:
Speak for yourself.
George:
This group chat is exhausting.
Lando:
and you're still in it 😭
Max:
george
George:
…yes?
Max:
shut the fuck up.
Lando:
GOODNIGHT 😭
Kimi:
last update
George:
No.
Lando:
YES.
Kimi:
toto said "we will get him the perfect car"
Nico:
He actually might.
Lewis:
…yeah
George:
I actually hate all of you
Charles:
As you should.
Nico:
Toto will absolutely build a rocketship for Max.
Fernando:
Or he will take George's.
Max:
both are fine really.
George:
That's it, this is cyberbullying
I'm muting this chat
Ollie:
"whenevah anythin doesn't go his way -"
Kimi:
"he lashes out with unnecessary ANGAH"
Gabi:
"and BORDErline violence"
Max:
I love you my kids 🥺
George:
I hate every single one of you.
And fuck you especially if your name is Max Verstappen.