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I understand now by TheQueenoftheAbyss
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
21 Apr 2026
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Summary
He knew what that meant. Knew the tip of the scales past their delicate balance, from 'passive' to 'active'. He had never in his life felt this before, not this clearly, not so defined in his very being. Ilya had thought he had understood, before, what his mother had done and what had led her to it. He knew now, staring out through the glow of the house to the dark garden, that he had not.
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Ilya begins to experience active suicidal ideation for the first time. When he crashes Shane helps, he always does, but Ilya is hiding behind lies, and Shane cannot save him from what he cannot see. And Ilya won't ever let him see this, not as long as he can help it.!This fic contains description of suicidal thoughts/ideation including suicidal planning and graphic descriptions of the aftermath of suicide!
Series
- Part 1 of To understand (and be understood)
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