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“He’s been fussy recently,” Seungcheol says in regards to the sleeping kid in his arms with his cheek pressed up to Seungcheol’s chest in a way that’s sure to leave a red mark.
Chan looks cozy curled up against his dad. His clunky headphones are over his ears, blocking out the daily noises of the coffee shop; the steaming machines and chatter of conversations. He has one of his chews tucked between his lips and a fidget is falling out of his hand. Seungcheol hasn’t dared to leave the house without a selection of fidgets for Chan these past few days, the maknae has been getting worked up easily.
Jeonghan places his tray down. There’s a decaf coffee for himself, then a large hot chocolate for Seungcheol, and a small one for Chan, if he wakes up before it goes cold. He’s bought a slice of chocolate cake too, and Jeonghan is willing to share it with the maknae. Joshua joins them with his own mug of hot tea, a sandwich and a warm smile.
They’re at the cafe just next to the library, it’s a peaceful way to spend their weekend. Only the eldest boys are inside, winding their way through rows of books or choosing to go to the supervised play area. Seungkwan had chosen to take Hansol to the bring a friend's day at his volleyball club, leaving the dads with two less little monsters to worry about.
The library is still the perfect place for them to bring the kids. It’s safe enough that the boys can be left alone for the afternoon, getting some time entirely to themselves, and there's enough things for the kids to do without growing bored. The dads love it too, it gives them a time to be alone together - they class this time as ‘mini dates’.
“Oh dear,” Joshua frowns, peering at the maknae, “why do you think that is?”
Seungcheol can only shrug.
Sometimes he can pinpoint that it’s a t-shirt label that he forgot to cut out that’s bothering Chan, or that his brothers are being too boisterous in moments when he needs quiet. Some days Chan has to get dressed before having breakfast and then his whole day is thrown off. Sometimes Seungcheol can predict that a whirring siren will cause Chan to squirm and cover his ears, and sometimes he can predict when one more input will be an input too much and cause a full meltdown.
But sometimes, maybe more often than not, Seungcheol can’t quite figure out what has caused the upset.
Their days can be perfect; they can follow Chan’s routine to a T, the house can be calm, they can watch his favourite shows, and still Chan will grow uncomfortable. His meltdowns can appear from seemingly nowhere, and they always make Seungcheol feel like a terrible father for not having seen it coming.
Chan doesn’t always express when something is bothering him. He can withstand a twisted sock all day or put up with a clock ticking too loudly in the background. He can deal with these things until suddenly he can’t. Suddenly one thing has pushed him over the edge when Seungcheol hadn’t even realised that he’d been teetering on it. They’re working on Chan expressing his discomfort before it gets too much, but the boy has never been able to express himself well.
Seungcheol cradles the maknae closer, it’s the most sleep he’s gotten in the last 72 hours. “Let us know if we can help in any way.” Jeonghan offers.
They do so much for him already. Seungcheol shakes his head. “We’ll be okay, I’ll figure it out.”
He ignores their worried looks and brushes off the whole situation. Chan, like all of his kids, has his ups and downs and Seungcheol has been dealing with them for 6 years now. So far, he hasn’t needed help so he won’t bother anyone else for help now. He’ll just book some time off work - and dip into his savings - until Chan is feeling right enough to return to kindergarten.
“What are the little twins up to?” Seungcheol asks, pushing the conversation along.
The little twins - Seungkwan and Hansol. The two seven year olds insist that they’re twins like Jihoon and Soonyoung, taking up every opportunity to dress in matching clothes and do everything together. Seungkwan sleeps over at Joshua’s house at least once a week now, having his own drawer of clothes and school uniform in Hansol’s bedroom.
Jeonghan rolls his eyes, smiling fondly. Seungkwan has been begging him for weeks now to ask his Uncle Jisoo if Hansol could come to the bring a friend day at his volleyball club. When Jeonghan first brought it up, Joshua had been hesitant - Hansol isn’t exactly the best at ball games - but Seungkwan has a skill at convincing people to agree to what he wants.
Jeonghan dropped the two of them off this morning. Hansol had waddled in wearing an old set of knee pads and elbow pads that used to belong to Seungkwan. He grinned nervously at his uncle as he waved goodbye, being dragged by an overly enthusiastic Seungkwan to go meet all his other friends.
“Hansol is always picked last in sports class.” Joshua shares.
Seungcheol nods with a sad but knowing smile. “Junhui does too.”
“Yet Kwan has chosen them both to go to his sports activities.” Jeonghan says, putting on an optimistic twist to their perspectives. If asked, Seungkwan would never pick favourites, but it’s clear that he has a soft spot for those two.
Jeonghan taps his foot on the floor - he’s never one to show his nerves. Joshua raises his brow as he turns to look at the older, putting a hand on his restless leg.
There’s been something playing on his mind for the past two weeks, ever since Seungkwan had expressed his concern of ‘replacing’ his parents. The dads had been so focused on making sure that the kids were okay with them dating that they hadn’t even considered what would happen if they did. Their integration into one another’s lives happened so naturally over time that they hadn’t thought of how the kids would see it. Even if the names aren’t there, for Seungkwan at least, Seungcheol and Joshua are parental figures in his life now, and it’s not something they can ignore.
“What are you thinking about, love?” Joshua asks so sweetly and Jeonghan melts into the hand cupping his face.
“What are we to the kids?” He sits back and observes their confused faces. “What role do we play to the other boys? I think Seungkwan sees you as sort of… parents.” Jeonghan is hesitant to tell them that. What if it’s too soon? What if he scares them away?
Jeonghan tells them about that night with Seungkwan, when he finally discovered what had been bothering his son all this time, affecting his mood. He had struggled to sleep that evening. They’ve always wanted what's best for the kids, but Jeonghan hadn’t considered that he’d become a dad to seven more boys. He doesn’t think that would be a bad thing, however.
He watches as the two dads nod slowly, the cogs turning over and over in their heads.
So maybe it’s a little heavy for a Sunday morning.
“It’s sort of inevitable,” Seungcheol says shyly, barely glancing at either of them, “we said this was serious, so we will become dad-like figures to the other boys.” He gestures his free hand around, not quite putting labels on their exact situation.
Joshua agrees and finally Jeonghan can relax. He hasn’t sprung something upon them entirely, they haven’t run away.
Sitting next to Seungcheol, Joshua takes Chan into his lap when the other dad’s arms grow tired. The maknae fusses just slightly, forcing open his eyes to see what's happening before immediately settling back down when he realises he’s in his uncle’s arms. Chan is not one of the so-called ‘cuddle monsters’ in the three families, so Joshua always cherishes these moments.
Truthfully, Joshua is trying to hide his excitement at the prospect of Seungkwan seeing him as a father figure.
It’s something he’s spoken about with Wonwoo before. One evening his eldest son was intrigued to know if his uncles would become his stepdads - as the boy had put it. Joshua hadn’t really been able to answer, it isn’t something he can decide for the other dads, of who they’ll be to the kids. But for Joshua, he would happily become a stepdad to the other boys; he’d dreamed of having a large family after all.
“Should we set some rules? Or boundaries? And names, we can’t stay uncles forever, right?” Jeonghan asks. His slim fingers curl around his warm mug, his leg has settled, but Joshua can tell he’s still nervous.
Joshua pulls Chan closer, stopping him from slipping down. “In terms of boundaries and discipline, I like where we are now, for the time being,” he shares.
They’re careful with the boys. They know not to raise their voices around Mingyu, they know to hold Wonwoo’s hand when they’re in busy places, they know that they shouldn’t separate the twins, even when they’re fighting. At the same time, they know that discipline is necessary and all the kids can make mistakes. Joshua has scolded Seungkwan plenty of times for being too loud or not listening to instructions, and Seungcheol has had to firmly remind Seokmin that he needs to remember to ask Mingyu before hugging him.
They have their ways of working. There’s no book to follow to teach them how to become a family of thirteen, but slowly they’re getting there.
Maybe in the future, their boundaries will change, but that’s a consideration for then and not now.
They’re quick to agree with Joshua’s opinion. The boys never misbehave enough to warrant more than a firm tone of voice reminding them to be respectful, or to be kinder to their friends.
“Does Seungkwan want to call us by different names?” Seungcheol asks, licking away his hot chocolate froth moustache.
Jeonghan shakes his head. “I don’t think so, not yet at least.”
“I think Seokmin might.” Joshua shares. He’s caught his son stopping himself when they talk, often catching a court Ba- or an App- before quickly cutting himself off and replacing the name with Uncle. “I’m not sure if he would right away, not before someone else starts using different names for us, but in his head at least I think you’re no longer just uncles.”
Seungcheol wears the fondest smile.
“Do we tell the boys they can call us dad?” Jeonghan gulps.
The other two dads both shake their heads. “I don’t want to pressure them to, it might scare them off,” Seungcheol says firmly. “Especially Gyu, it took him two years before he called me anything other than Seungcheollie.”
“But if the kids start to use different names we should tell them that’s okay. I think I’ll have a chat with Seokie about it.” Joshua smiles to calm Jeonghan down.
It’s an important conversation for them to have, as scary as it can be to bring up. If Jeonghan hadn’t mentioned it, Joshua would’ve, it was about time they had a talk about the future. These are his boyfriends, and Joshua intends to keep it that way.
“Hello, sleepyhead,” Joshua coos when Chan starts to stir.
Their attention quickly falls on the maknae who wakes himself up with a big stretch. He turns to press his back to his uncle’s chest and licks his lips as he stares at the half eaten food on the table.
Chan lets his chew drop from his mouth - the necklace attachment prevents it from falling to the floor - when his dad holds up a small mug of hot chocolate to his lips.
He’s only two years younger than Vernon, but Joshua enjoys having another maknae to baby. They spend the rest of the morning listening to Chan blabber all about the pukyongosaurus he’d learnt about from a recent documentary. They listen with utter fondness.