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Kala took her phone off Do Not Disturb as Rajan chastely escorted her back to her office after their meeting, just like he used to do before they were married. A momentary panic overtook her at the barrage of missed texts from her father, until she remembered it was Tuesday which meant 1) Felix was at language lessons with her and Rajan's moms, and 2) Wolfgang would have no one to make him lunch so he always headed to the restaurant.
"Everything okay?" Rajan asked.
She rolled her eyes and nodded, letting Rajan into her office and gesturing to her chair for him to sit. She perched on the edge of her desk, knowing soon enough she'd be leaving to visit the subject of those texts. Then she opened what was most certainly meant to be troubling messages as if she didn't already know the game her father was playing with his unofficial son-in-law.
He's impossible
This will not stand
I forbid it
I don't care if it's cultural
He's not German anymore
He's Indian now
He knows better
You have to do something about Wolfgang
"Is Wolfgang trying to pay for his lunch again?" Rajan asked with a glance at her phone.
"Again," Kala sighed. If she was getting texts that meant Wolfgang had either slipped the money into her father's pocket or left cash on the table before literally running out the door, and it would be served back to him in an empty chutney bowl or coffee cup the following week. Her dad had never accepted payment for feeding Wolfgang, and despite all of Wolfgang's attempts, never would. Although, with the amount of manual labor her dad got out of him, the payments really should've been going the other direction.
"I seem to recall having to pay for my meals until I proposed," Rajan mused, not out of jealousy—even if he was a little salty about Wolfgang refusing to participate in another wedding—but because he found it absolutely adorable how much her dad loved him. And now that they weren't lying about their relationship anymore, Wolfgang was able to accept that love. Within reason.
Kala reached for him through the psycellium and appeared at the mostly-empty restaurant, the lunch rush over. Wolfgang may have been reluctant to go anywhere in public without blockers, but he felt secure enough to forego them when he went straight to the restaurant and nowhere else. Holding up her phone, she asked, "What did you do?"
Wolfgang swore—loudly—in German, then pointedly tossed a thick wad of cash on the table once he had her father's attention. The waiter stepped aside. He was also familiar with this game, and pretended Wolfgang didn't constantly slip him money too since he had every intention of keeping it.
"Nein!" Her father responded, rushing over to prevent Wolfgang from fleeing. Kala sat on his lap to further hinder his escape.
Wolfgang laughed as her dad took the reason for his string of texts out of his pocket and set it on the table with the matching wad of cash.
He wrapped his arms around Wolfgang's shoulders and rested his chin on the top of his head. Kala leaned in closer to be part of the hug. Wolfgang was leaning so far into it the chair was only on two legs and her father had to brace himself. "Is Kala here?"
"She is." Wolfgang winked at her and slipped more money into her father's apron.
"Tell him his money is no good here, my daughter." He took the recently reverse-pickpocketed third wad out of his apron and put it with the rest of Wolfgang's cash on the table.
"He's right," Kala said.
"What else am I supposed to do with it? I promised Rajan I'd spend more."
"Maybe you should ask your brother. Felix has perfected the art of spending Rajan's money." He gave Wolfgang another squeeze and let him go, then waved to the final lingering customers and followed them to the door so he could close for a few hours for dinner preparations.
Wolfgang usually hung out until it was time to pick her and Rajan up from work, sitting around watching her dad cook the way she'd spent so many afternoons of her childhood. He'd arrive at Rasal Pharmaceuticals with the mouthwatering smell of spices lingering on his clothes and in the car, whetting their appetites the entire drive home.
"Okay, okay." Her father's voice was calm enough that Wolfgang didn't immediately go on alert. But Kala did.
A man with a knife forced him back into the restaurant.
"Oh my God!" she gasped, practically pulling Wolfgang to his feet. She didn't want him any closer to the armed robber either but he could probably handle it. Especially since the size of the knife elicited more confusion than anger—even after being pointed at his beloved father-in-law.
"Nobody panic," Will said, appearing at the first hint of distress.
Lito hid behind Sun and bit back a very panicked scream. Riley and Nomi clung to Will. Capheus stepped in front of Kala.
Wolfgang remained perfectly calm as her heart raced. He just met the man's eyes, then followed those eyes to the cash on the table. It was more than the restaurant made in a month, and from the man's expression, more than he'd ever seen.
"Come and get it," Wolfgang said in Hindi, taking a step further away from the table. Then he rolled his shoulders and started stretching for what came next. "I'll give you a head start."
Kala was getting warmed up herself, no stretching required.
The robber glanced between them and the money, then back again, weighing his chances of success. Of survival.
"I wouldn't recommend it," her dad said.
Wolfgang smiled.
The man swallowed hard for an entirely different reason than Kala. He turned to flee but her father stuck his foot out and tripped him, sending him crashing to the floor.
"I was gonna chase him!" Wolfgang whined, tackling the already prone man and tossing the knife he'd dropped further aside.
"Of course you were, beta. But you're not on blockers."
Wolfgang gazed up at him with such adoration it was easy to forget the only thing preventing him from stabbing a man to death was his concern over bloodying the floor. Sticking up for him—protecting him—was the quickest way to earn his affection. And he'd fall even further in love with those that already had that affection.
"Plus it's very hot today. You'll burn." Her dad patted him on the shoulder. "Stay put. I'll call the police."
The waiter had lingered behind the counter the entire time and wasn't about to involve himself now that her father was headed back in the kitchen. The dishwasher had headphones in and hadn't even noticed anything was happening.
"What're blockers?" the man asked.
"Shut up." Wolfgang smacked him in the head.
Capheus raised his eyebrows at Kala and she realized she was gripping his arm extremely hard so she wouldn't fall over watching Wolfgang deal with things the Barbarian way. "Sorry." She demurely laughed and let him go. "Um, stay put. We're coming."
Wolfgang shrugged and made himself comfortable on top of the robber.
Kala returned to her office, Rajan on his feet and his jacket draped over her shoulders. "You looked worried," he said. "What's going on? Is everything okay?"
"Yes—no." She gave his jacket back and grabbed a file folder to fan herself with. "Someone tried robbing my father at knife point. We have to go."
Rajan's eyes widened and he stammered, "The car is already on the way and I had our assistants reschedule the rest of our meetings."
Life was so much easier now that Rajan was informed and could proactively take care of things. Not that Kala liked to admit she'd been wrong. "Thank you, my husband." She kissed him a bit more passionately than appropriate given the situation. Rajan didn't seem to mind, but he looked very confused. She cleared her throat. "Wolfgang took care of it."
"Oh. Right." No further explanation was needed. He also got all hot and bothered when Wolfgang got all feral and aggressive. Rajan didn't bother putting his jacket back on. "Dead?"
Appearing back at the restaurant just to double check that the attempted robber's situation hadn't changed, she confirmed, "No."
"Okay." He handed Kala her purse and let her lead the way.
She called her mother as they headed downstairs, knowing her father would conveniently forget to mention it had even happened. "Hi mom—"
"I heard, we're on our way there."
"What do you mean you heard?" Kala scoffed.
"Felix got a text."
"Felix—what? Who texted Felix?" Kala glared at Amanita, barely awake at Nomi's side.
"Wasn't her," Nomi said.
"Wasn't me what?"
"Nothing, honey. Everyone's fine now, go back to sleep."
Kala turned to Lito next, and the busybody at his side. Dani was more awake than Amanita, but only because Lito was more dramatic than Nomi. "Not her either," Lito said.
Sun pointed at Kwon-Ho, who just beamed over her attention whether he was in trouble or not.
"I'll see you there, mom." Kala ended the call. Then she shifted her glare to Rajan. It was one thing having her cluster in her head—and her business—at all times. It was quite another for their group of sapiens.
"Was it Amanita?" Rajan asked innocently. If he hadn't been preoccupied calling the car and canceling meetings, he probably would've been texting Felix himself.
"Kwon-Ho."
He nodded. "The man is a gossip."
"You're all gossips."
Further proving Kala's point, their chauffeur was waiting outside and had already heard the entire story from Rajan's mother's chauffeur, en route with her mom and Felix. Kala shook her head, tossing her phone in the backseat as a text from Daya came through: OMG OMG OMG Wolfgang just killed a guy robbing dad??? Jk I'm with mom and auntie and Felix we're on our way
Rajan put her phone in his pocket for safe keeping lest she threw it out the window next, and Kala returned to the restaurant for a respite from all the drama even though that's where the drama began. Wolfgang was sitting on the man's legs but they'd moved out to the sidewalk so they could both have a cigarette while awaiting the police. The robber was lying on a towel on the hot concrete to prevent burns, and Wolfgang had an umbrella to keep the sun off.
"Really?" she asked.
"I don't think the cops are coming," Wolfgang said in German.
"What?" the robber asked in Hindi.
"Shut up." Wolfgang smacked him again.
Kala stepped aside as her father came out, holding a beer in one hand and a takeout container in the other. "I didn't call the police this time. If you come back, I will let him chase you. He's very fast and he'd enjoy it." He handed the beer to a bewildered Wolfgang, then helped him off the man with his newly freed hand. He gave the container to the robber. "Take this. Go home."
"Dad!" Kala exclaimed through Wolfgang, but it was the first time Wolfgang had called him that so he and her dad both stared at each other in awkward silence while the robber counted his blessings and fled with his late lunch.
Then her dad smiled warmly and patted Wolfgang's cheek, which Wolfgang usually hated but somehow this time it made him melt even more than her father keeping him from chasing a man through Mumbai because he wasn't on blockers or wearing sunscreen. "Come inside, my son."
Wolfgang swallowed the lump in his throat with a large swig of beer, then gave Kala a look like he was being naughty and getting away with something because that was easier than feeling his feelings. He aggressively grabbed the towel and umbrella and followed her dad back inside.
Kala wiped her eyes, returning to the car to find their perfect husband supportively holding her hand.
Despite her tears, this time he did not look concerned about her visit. "Are they being cute together?" Rajan knowingly whispered so their driver wouldn't hear them over the radio.
She laughed and nodded. "Wolfgang isn't even upset that he didn't get to chase after a man like a tiger."
"The police are there?"
"My dad didn't call them. He gave the robber lunch and let him go."
"That sounds like Sanyam." It didn't used to. Her dad had always been empathetic, and fed anyone who needed it regardless of the ability to pay, but ever since he found out Wolfgang and Felix were career criminals he'd changed his views on property crime. Now he was romanticizing a little harmless lawbreaking and was this close to trying his luck at pickpocketing Manendra himself. And so was Rajan. "Hypothetically, how unethical would it be if I hired someone for Wolfgang to hunt down?"
"Did he really just say that?" Will asked, always available for discussions of illegality.
Kala shrugged. She certainly understood the desire. She was still sopping wet from Wolfgang smiling as a threat. "The ethics would depend on the outcome, but I don't think it would be as fun for him as having naturally occurring prey." It was a pity Ajay would be in prison for so long. Wolfgang would love to chase him down. "I don't suppose your father could be persuaded to take up jogging."
Rajan smiled. "I can't imagine my father has ever jogged in his life."
"No, probably not." She glanced at her athletic clustermate. "Will might be up for a well-funded chase."
"Really? I can fly him out from Chicago!"
Will shook his head and made himself scarce. After Whispers and BPO, he'd had enough of being hunted.
They pulled up to the restaurant just before Sahana Rasal's car arrived, the woman herself joining in on the adventure. Having Felix around had done wonders to help her come out of her shell. And out from under Manendra's thumb. Not that Manendra had noticed.
"Where are the police?" her mom asked.
"He didn't call them."
"What?" her auntie gasped.
"Oh dear!" Sahana covered her mouth.
The three adult women were understandably concerned about the situation—and wanted every single detail—but Daya and Felix were both grinning, enjoying this immensely.
Wolfgang was still on her dad's side despite him being the cause of his lost quarry, and warned him of incoming trouble.
"Scheisse," her dad muttered, wiping his hands on his apron and coming out to greet his family. "Priya! What a wonderful surprise! I wasn't expecting you back until later!"
She crossed her arms over her chest.
"So where's the body?" Felix asked. "Or is he dinner?"
That earned a reproachful look from Kala and her mom but Daya and their auntie giggled, and Sahana laughed so hard Rajan had to help her go sit down.
"Oh my God is that what he stole?" Daya gaped at the two wads of cash still sitting on the table.
"No, that's Wolfgang's," her dad said.
"Rude, Wolfgang!" Felix snatched both stacks off the table and nearly kept a straight face as he continued, "You know our money is no good here." He pocketed one pile and slipped the other to Daya, who was more than happy to receive it from her new German big brother.
"Wait, what happened to the third?" Kala asked.
Her dad shrugged. "I gave it to our robber of course."
"Dad!" she and Daya called out while her mom and auntie scolded "Sanyam!"
"Who here hasn't robbed someone at knife point?" he said with a laugh.
Everyone—including Wolfgang and Felix—raised their hands.
"Really?" He looked at the two of them.
"They were burglars, they weren't robbing people," Rajan said, mostly for his mother's benefit. "There's a difference."
Wolfgang looked away and muttered, "Gun."
"Yeah," Felix laughed. "We robbed people with guns."
"And a rocket launcher!" Sahana said proudly. Kala put her head in her hands while Rajan gaped at Felix. Wolfgang just snickered.
"Nah that was just revenge, babe." Felix gave Rajan an exaggerated wink.
"My point stands," her dad said. "Nobody was hurt. Wolfgang wanted to spend some money, the man can buy what he needs, and now I'm falling behind on dinner. Priya?"
"Coming, Sanyam." She headed to the kitchen after him.
"I'll help too." Sahana rarely got to cook Indian food at home since her husband didn't like it.
"Rajan, come sous chef!" her dad called out.
Giving Wolfgang a quick kiss, Rajan raised his eyebrows and asked, "Now who's his favorite son?" Then he smacked him on the ass where his mother couldn't see it and hurried to the kitchen.
"Them's fighting words," Felix laughed.
Them may have been fighting words, but smacking him on the ass got him more riled up than the robber. Got them both riled up. "I have blockers and sunscreen in my purse if you want to chase him home after dinner prep," Kala said.
Wolfgang looked to the kitchen where Rajan was tying one of her father's aprons around his waist. He smiled.