Chapter Text
timaeusTestified [TT] has created the memo: Postnatal Support Forum 2: Judgement Day.
timaeusTestified [TT] has joined memo at 13:23
tipsyGnostalgic [TG] has joined memo at 13:26
TT: Why doesn't parent school exist.
TT: I would gleefully throw fistfuls of greens to get a goddamn basic teaching course in raising small children.
TT: Perhaps I could pursue it to honors, Rox. Graduate with a tear in my eye and a Masters degree in keeping baby Dave from putting things in his mouth that he shouldn't.
TT: R.I.P my carefully constructed Lego trains.
TG: i hope for ur sake parent school exists 2 bc holy smokes dirk
TG: isnt that the first thing they teach you about babbies like in general
TG: why did nobody tell him dont go puttin it in your mouth if its smaller than ur elbow :(
TG: rip baby dave
TG: died railing against the authorities
TT: Oh, my god.
TG: hahahaha
TT: Excavate.
TT: In all seriousness though. Shouldn't this be some kind of learning process? Shouldn't I technically be getting better as this as I go?
TG: babies arent like video games you moron u cant grind w a baby for the purpose of lelving up and getting more exp
TG: well i d advise not grinding w a baby in general bc that shit will get you thrown into the jailz
TT: Gross.
TG: lol
TG: but you get what i mean
TT: I get what you mean.
TG: thx
TG: 4 exmaples it took me AGES to figure out how to stop rosey from climbing the curtains
TG: shes my little monkey child an i love her but i couldnt let her keep doing it bc what if she hurt herself :(
TT: Right. Dave hurts himself on stupid shit all the time. Blunt corners. His crib. The smuppets. Zippers.
TG: N E WAYS
TG: ur being a total downer about this dirk i hope ur not poisoning lil daveys breathing space with all your negative nancy thoughts
TG: wouldnt want that beauptiful child to grow up and become a dark horse
TT: Eh, that's not really my mane concern.
TG: booooooooooo
TG: get outta heeeereeee <3
TT: Wink.
TT: I promise I'm not poisoning any water holes, Rox. There are plenty of things I like about the little guy.
TG: like wat!!
TG: tell me cute babby stories
TT: Haha. Man, I dunno. I just like his little shoes, okay? Have you ever seen baby shoes?
TT: What gives anything the right to be that tiny and cute? It's disgusting.
TG: i KNOW
TG: sometimes i take roseys cute lil booties and put them on my hands and walk em around the table for her
TG: she thinks its funny
TT: You're right, babies have the best sense of humor ever. Dave thinks my hat is funny.
TG: lmfao! thats because it looks harlarious on you
TT: Yeah, yeah. Jokes over, move along, nothing to see here.
TT: Anyway, this was a totally round-about way of explaining:
TT: Shit, babies are tough. If you need any parental back-up, I'm totally there for you.
TT: Promise.
TG: awwwww
TG: ur a good dad dirk
TT: And you're a great Mom, weirdo.
TT: Shit.
TT: Brb.
timeatusTestified [TT] is now an idle chum! -- Dave got into the cheetos. --
TG: pfpfpft
TG: ok ttyl <3