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Agent woke up in his room, hundred of eyes shining in the darkness of the night. Turning his head to check the time, the man sighed. 3 : 20 AM, of course. Anyone would go back to sleep at this time, but Agent wasn’t anyone. Those fragmented nights were his normalcy. Sitting up, he stretched his arms as well as his wings. The night was the only moment he could let them out and truly be himself. It was the only moment he could rest, yet he was forever restless. Getting up, the man walked to his private bathroom and splashed water on his eyeless face. The eyes were under the feathers on each side of his head, hundreds of tiny little dots that let the angel see everywhere around him at any time. Perfect for his job as a bodyguard. Staying in his nightwear, Agent looked at himself in the mirror, watching as his feathers, wings and marks disapeared as he used magic to mask his appearance. To anyone here he was human. With a satisfied growl Agent then equipped his sunglasses to mask his still eyeless face. He could make eyes appear in his illusion, but it was unnecessary efforts and sunglasses had become his signature, no one was wondering why he wore them everywhere anymore. Finaly Agent left his room. Although truly, he didn’t go far. As big as the mansion he stayed in was, he only took a few steps to the left. Next to his bedroom was the door to another room, which was Vic’s. Vic, eldest son of the Beckers, fierce negotiator for the company’s image and collaborations. His politeness and kindness were a charming, well-measured act that was at once appealing and terrifying. There was no better manipulator in this wicked family of weapon manifacturers. Yet, Agent had known him since the both of them were little. Vic was a shy, quiet man, vulnerable to those he trusted, far from his cold manipulation in professional settings. For a human he truly was… intriguing.
When the both of them became adults, Agent became Vic’s bodyguard as Alan already trusted him. The Becker weaponery had many ennemies after all, and Vic was in no condition to fight. Agent was glad to be his shield, and to this day he swore fervousely to dedicate his life to Vic’s well being. Silently, Agent opened the door and peeked inside. Vic was under the cover of his bed, sleeping. He could see the rise and fall of his breathing under the blanket. Good, Vic was alive, no intruder. However, Agent immediatly felt something was off. He listened carefully. Uneven breathings. Vic’s breathing was raspy, as though each exhale was a struggle. Frowning, the angel silently entered the room and walked to the sleeping man. Vic was sweating, strands of hair sticking to his forehead. His sleep was troubled as he squirmed, pain in his face.
Ah… Agent was all too familiar with this.
Slowly, he took the covers off the man and sat at the edge of the bed. He held the man’s hand, it was hot, he clearly had a fever. Slowly, the angel rubbed his hands up the man’s arms, palping his joints. Vic was still in pain, although he slept through it, having dealt with it his whole life. His breathing was still raspy, but first, Agent had to find where was the trouble. Vic’s chronic illness wasn’t one to stay still, everyday the pain changed location and intensity, each muscle fighting to survive and serve it’s purpose. No big reaction came out of the sleeping man as he palped both arms and shoulders, as well as his stomach. Agent carefully slid his hand under Vic’s back and massaged there. The man stirred uncomfortably in his sleep.
Ah, he was getting closer.
Pulling his hand off his back, Agent then went to hold his waist. As soon as he pressed onto the left hip, Vic’s face contorted in pain as he squirmed more and stirred. There. With a sigh, Agent got up and silently opened the drawyer in the nightstand. A small blade laid there, it’s metal shining in the moonlight. Weapons being in every room was a common occurrence in this house. Taking the small knife, Agent pressed the blade against his thumb and cut through his own skin. It didn’t really hurt, he was used to it. Blood seeped out of the cut, white blood. Blood of an angel. It could ease any pain it made contact with, yet wasn’t powerful enough to cure lifelong diseases. Truly pathetic. Returning to Vic’s side, Agent slowly slipped his hand under the man’s waistband, reaching for his injured hip. He hated touching Vic’s skin without his permission, but his blood had to make contact in order for it to work. As he rubbed circles into the man’s hip, he saw his body gradually relax. Agent smiled softly and rested his hand against his hip. The man before him was truly beautiful… His warm skin a delight to the touch. Oh, how he wished he could touch him under other circumstances…
Agent shook his head fast as if it could chase away his thoughts, pink dusting his pale cheeks. He shouldn’t be thinking about that, Vic had no interest in him. Feeling something shift under him, his gaze snapped back to reality. Vic had awoken and was looking at him, his breathing still raspy and difficult.
« Agent ? », he managed to whisper.
Agent quickly removed his hand from Vic’s hip, a bit flustered to have been caught with it under his clothes. He cleared his throat, regaining his serious composure fast.
« You were showing signs of pain so I massaged your inflammed joint », he replied sternly.
Vic tried to sigh, only to choke and cough as he sat up. He motioned for his inhalator on his nightstand and Agent was quick to pick it up and set it on his face, then administer the product. After a few deep inhalations, Vic’s breathing improved and he took the device off his face himself.
« Thank you. »
Agent nodded and stood up, going into Vic’s bathroom to get him a glass of water. Nights like these were common for the two of them, Agent had learned how to deal with the man’s pain crisis, and Vic no longer had any shame showing him his fragile state. Vic accepted the cup of water gratefully and drank slowly, while Agent stood by his side, watching him. Once the glass was empty, Vic set it aside on the nightstand and looked at the man with tired eyes.
« Thank you again Agent, I’ll be fine now. You can go back to sleep », Vic dismissed.
Agent shook his head.
« I want to make sure it doesn’t start again », he replied flatly.
It was true, partly. He did want to make sure Vic was ok, but he also wanted to stay by his side as long as he could. Agent hated being alone in his room, or anywhere except near Vic’s immediate surroundings. It made him uncertain and worried to not see the other, but also lonely. As sad and pathetic as it sounds, Agent felt empty and incomplete without Vic, he wanted to look at him, have his beauty mesmerize his eyes and fill his vision for the rest of his life. Each subtle physical contact they had, accidental or intentional, was addictive, a fleeting bliss he could not get enough of, something that would make his heart beat faster and his body grow warm. Vic’s voice could chase away any thought. Agent was only truly happy when he was by Vic, the one he knew would forever be his one and only in his mind, only in his mind. It still hurts, the truth still hurts, but he has long accepted it. Vic wasn’t gay, nor were he or his family open to it, just like the rest of the humane society. A shame, homophobia didn’t really make sense to angels, but he could only accept it was how humans envisionned things. His loyalty would be his way to show his love.
A hand held his, snapping him out of his revery. Vic was watching him intently, and he had to use all his might to not blush under the other’s gaze. Vic tilted his head to the side pensively.
« What were you thinking about Agent ? »
Agent’s face frowned ever-so-slightly, but Vic knew him well and immediatly noticed his embarrassement. He laughed lightly, shaking his head.
« Oh Agent, you’re impossible », he said with a smile. « You’re my friend, if you want something, just ask me ».
Agent’s frown deepened as he looked away.
« I can’t and I won’t », he replied, his voice sounding more vulnerable than he wished it to be.
« Why ? », Vic’s tone remained teasing.
Agent grew more embarrassed and avoidant. Although Vic couldn’t see, the feathers on his head puffed up and laid flat on his head as if to stop seeing him.
« It’s not professional », he blurted out, hoping this would make Vic uninterested.
But in fact, that did the opposite effect. Vic laughed again.
« We’re not in a professional setting right now, we’re in a personal setting. Your work hours are done, you’re my friend, not my guard », he replied casually with a tint of warmth.
Agent’s neck became red as he mumbled something, uncomfortably shifting his weight on his legs.
« What was that ? », Vic asked as he didn’t pick it up.
Agent shook his head, refusing to repeat. He jolted and gasped lightly when Vic’s firm grip pulled him towards the bed, stumbling and ackwardly half falling onto it. He glared at Vic with an unreadable expression. Vic smiled softly but Agent knew this was an act, Vic’s manipulative face.
« Won’t you tell me now ? »
He shook his head once more, but gosh, his voice, his face… He knew Vic was trying to manipulate him and he hated how much his charm worked on him. Seeing that Agent still refused to talk, Vic pouted, his act shattering.
« That’s not fair, you get to see me and know my whole life everyday, and I don’t get to know what you’re thinking about ? », he sulked.
Agent could only look at him, hoping he could sense the deadpan through the sunglasses. This only made Vic frown more, he truly was a child sometimes. Well, he was only with Agent. The smaller man smiled to himself.
« What are you, four ? », he teased.
Vic flipped him off with a pout. Agent felt all the tiny sparks of his eyes roll in amusement, as well as his wings puff up. Sometimes he wished Vic could see him the way he really was. Glaring at the grey haired man, he snickered, geez, he really couldn’t refuse anything to that man. Feeling his cheeks blush, he groaned.
« Fine, I will tell you », he conceded with mock-annoyance.
« Good », Vic replied with a voice that was so cold, if Agent didn’t know better he would have thought he was about to murder him.
The angel let out a nervous chuckle at the full attention he had from the other, trying to stall. But of course, there wasn’t much to do for him to delay this any further. Neither he or Vic were the talkative kind, and Vic would immediatly cut through his bullshit if he tried to change topics. With a deep breath, he finaly confessed :
« I just wanted to hug you », he said with a tint of shame in his voice.
Despite already being smaller than the other, Agent’s form shrunk, flustered, his shoulders curling in. He felt his wings move around him to shield him, but with the illusion spell, that wasn’t very effective. Vic stared at him, his blue, tired eyes reflecting the dim light spilling out of the window. His lips slowly curled into a smile as he giggled.
« You really made a whole scene just for that ? », he asked teasingly.
Agent’s cheeks flushed a deeper shade of red. The angel’s wings sprawled out in surprise as Vic scooted closer and held him in a light hug. Agent felt his heart beat quicken as the other’s warmth spreaded through him, he hugged him back in a tighter embrace, burrying his face into the crook of his neck, taking in his scent This was the first time they hugged since they were kids… oh how he missed this. His invisible wings wrapped around the both of them, fluffed up while his feather crown fluttered happily, like how a cat would purr in a physical motion. Vic smiled, patting his back.
« I never took you for the clingy type. »
« To be a bodyguard walking in your shadow all day, you have to be pretty clingy », Agent scoffed.
The eyes on the back of his feathers captured Vic’s smile, a more vulnerable and shy one as he snorted. Slowly Vic’s hands left him and Agent had no choice but to let him go and hide his disappointement as the warmth of the other abandonned him. Vic looked at him, still smiling, then yawned.
« Right », Agent muttered. « We should go back to sleep ».
The grey haired man hummed in agreement and Agent stood up, giving him one last glance.
« Good night Vic, I’ll see you tomorow sir ».
Vic wished him a good night as well, already laying down and readjusting his blanket. Agent left the room with a small genuine smile, and returned to his own bed. Feeling the other’s weight against him was like a dream come true, a memory he would treasure. Every time he spent with Vic, his resolve was stronger, he would do anything for this man.