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Hudson wasn’t insecure about his sexuality, far from it. He had kissed boys for roles, and he had kissed boys for a dare, he had kissed boys for fun, and he had kissed boys for simply curiosity’s sake. He had done all of that, but had never felt the need to look into it more. Sexuality was a spectrum and Hudson fell somewhere at ‘men can be hot, but not up close, thanks’ and that had been it. That had been fine.
Well, that had been it until he had seen Connor Storrie on that damn Zoom call. It had taken all of two seconds for him to take in how beautiful the man was - not pretty like a girl at all, but still entrancing somehow. And it had taken at most thirty for him to realise this was his person in some shape or form, that they were something special to each other. Something that Hudson hadn’t wanted to look too deeply into.
Connor was ‘queer’ and he said that he would go with whatever felt natural, regardless of gender. He had told Hudson this one night when they were quizzing each other - it had been a joke at first, a list of questions to ask on the first date, but it had soon grown serious with the two of them sitting cross-legged in front of each other as they talked, knees touching. Hudson had stayed up night after night wondering just what that meant. Was Connor just like him, a guy that didn’t feel the need to prescribe himself to gender roles of straight manhood too much, but ultimately was happy to find a girl and settle down, or…?
Or did he kiss men in earnest? Did he bend them over? Was he bent over by them? The thought arrested him immediately, and he couldn’t bring himself to drop it. He could picture it so well, that perfect ass just waiting to fucked, how he would look over his shoulder - all curls and long lashes and blue eyes, just begging for it.
“Fuck!” Hudson hissed, rubbing his hand hard enough over his eyes that he felt a bit guilty - it wasn’t good for his skin.
The thought had gone from titillating in a way that even Batman couldn’t torture out of him to something that made him sick with rage. Because he knew that if his imaginings were true, then some disgusting, random man had been the one to do it to him. But then, he couldn’t think of any man good enough for his Connie baby. Out of curiosity, he pictured Connor fucking a faceless woman; some model from a party, maybe. He could see it: slender legs wrapped around his waist as the muscles of his back undulated and -
“Shit, shit, shit!” he whined, realising he was half-mast already.
Thinking of Connor with a woman wasn’t…fun, per se, he felt slightly sick but the feeling of rage wasn’t there. It must be because of his amazing ass, Hudson decided with relief. That ass transcended sexuality, anyway. If he showed a picture of just Connor’s ass without context to 100 straight men, 99 would tap that, Hudon was sure. And the other 1 was lying to himself. Who wouldn’t get a bit possessive over an ass like that?
Days passed like that, with Hudson suddenly so aware of their proximity and what Connor had said about being queer. It was driving him insane slowly, images of Connor fucking, being fucked, sucking, being sucked. It was like all the porn he’d ever seen was being jumbled up in his head, only with Connor as the star, and being spat back out at him at the worst possible times.
The fact that they spent a significant amount of their working days kissing made it so, so much worse. The simulated sex was so choreographed that it didn’t resemble the real thing at all except through the lens of a camera. Besides, Hudson was straight, so bending over and having Connor rut behind him didn’t do anything for him at all. Definitely not. But the kissing, the feel of his soft lips and the sweet glide of their tongues together? Yeah, that was a problem. Connor was such a good kisser, and so filthy with it too in a way Hudson hadn’t even known he had preferred. Having his jaw grabbed, being forced to tilt his head back into alignment did as much for him as it did for Shane.
“Hey, Connie,” Hudson asked one day while they were practicing their lines.
Oh yeah, the fact that they were living together for the duration of filming definitely didn’t help either.
Connor met his eye, his expression so friendly and open that it made Hudson feel preemptively guilty. “What’s up, baby?”
“Can I ask you a personal question?”
The blond burst out laughing for a long moment before finally stopping to look at him indulgently. “What’s personal for us?”
“Maybe this,” Hudson replied, his eyes flicking down to where his legs were drawn up onto the couch.
“Try me.”
“When you say you’re queer,” he began, still not looking up, “what does that mean?”
“Really, baby?” he didn’t sound annoyed, but definitely amused like Hudson was being extremely dense. The feeling of Connor perhaps looking down on him had him blushing for reasons that he wasn’t about to look into too hard.
“Hey,” he shot back, finally looking up, “I know how being gay works obviously,” he said, gesturing to the highly-anotated script in his hand, “but what does it mean for you specifically?”
Connor tilted his head in confusion for a moment before his eyes widened in recognition. Slowly, he let himself relax back onto his elbows, regarding Hudson through his lashes from the other side of the couch.
“Are you asking me if I’m a top or a bottom, Huddy?”
Hudson wasn’t sure how much Connor was joking, which put him on the back foot. He was happy to say anything if it would make people laugh, but at times like this it was different. Though he wasn’t rightly sure what his issue was. They were best friends and platonic soulmates for life. Hudson would happily show Connor his sex tape if he had one, so why did this question feel so vulnerable?
“Uh…I guess so,” he replied eventually.
“I mean, I’ll go both ways,” Connor said briskly, “it depends what they want. If I’m hooking up, generally people will have their preferences on their profile or whatever, so I can just go with whatever works best.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Hudson dismissed easily, he knew Connor was a chameleon, “but what do you prefer?”
The question hung in the air, and Hudson hated how he had sounded. He had sounded like the farthest thing from friendly and joking. Connor just looked at him blankly for a moment before smirking, seeming to take his challenge.
“Ok, sure, if you wanna know,” he said. “I mean I’ve always preferred being fucked. Call me lazy, I guess.”
“You’re definitely not lazy,” Hudson had to cut in, but his throat felt rough. The rolodex of images of Connor in his mind narrowed down significantly.
“Maybe I’m not lazy, then,” he conceded, “but I do like feeling like I can just let go. Or,” he continued and now Hudson had the distinct feeling that he was about to be outfreaked, “and you wouldn’t get this, but there’s something about how men get when they’re horny. They’re so desperate to fuck that you can do whatever you want, and that feels like the ultimate power. Something about someone so strong being so desperate for you is the ultimate turn on,” he smirked wickedly, “Pussy whipped, right?”
“Yeah, I…” I know, Hudson had been about to say, but he didn’t know. Not really. Sure, some girls had been a bit fiestier in bed with him and he had loved it, but what Connor was talking about was something else, something intoxicating even hearing secondhand like this.
“And,” Connor continued, seemingly on a roll, “I like sucking dick too. And yeah, it’s not…you know, the most comfortable, or whatever. Your jaw hurts after a while. But that’s also kinda the point. You get to be so full and it really focuses you down to the here and now. Fuck yoga and meditation,” he joked, but Hudson didn’t laugh.
“So why don’t you do it more?” Hudson asked, hating himself for being so out of control. He felt like he’d taken at least three lines of coke in succession, or popped a Molly or something. Definitely not in his right mind.
Connor shrugged. “Tops don’t really want someone with my body type, you know?”
But Hudson didn’t know. If he was gay, then…
“Um, maybe?” he settled on saying instead. “Isn’t hot just hot, though?”
“You think I’m hot, baby?” he asked, fluttering his lashes dramatically.
Hudson chuckled. “Me and soon to be everyone else when the show comes out.”
“Thank you,” he said before getting back to what he had been saying. “Not really so much with gay guys. There are definite preferences and my body type right now kinda precludes me from most tops. I got way more of that type of action when I was younger.”
Suddenly, Hudson was bombarded with imaginings of Connor - younger and slimmer but still with that impossibly beautiful ass - getting showered with attention from gay guys and -
And he had to think of something else. Fast.
“And you don’t mind?” Hudson asked.
“Fuck no. Sex is like pizza. Even when it’s bad, it’s good.”
Hudson nearly fucking died. The idea that Connor was so into the idea of being fucked that topping felt like second best to him made Hudson feel like he was about to crawl out of his fucking skin. He was straight, he was sure but…
“Is fucking a guy just like fucking a girl in the ass, do you think?” Hudson blurted out.
“I don’t know…” Connor said, eyeing him uncertainly and Hudson didn’t blame him, he was sounding pretty unhinged right about now even by his standards.
“You don’t?” he actually felt disappointed in that.
“I’ve never fucked a girl in the ass,” he said, deadpan. “So-orry,” he added, drawing out the word into two syllables.
“S’cool, just…”
“Just what, Huddy?”
“Just wondering,” he replied, shifting nervously.
Connor smirked. “Wondering if there’s some sort of loophole for gay sex? ‘It’s not gay if I can’t see his face and pretend he’s a girl?’”
He was joking, and Hudson played it off like a joke, but Connor had been terribly astute. Had, in fact, known more than Hudson had at that exact moment because it took until he was fisting his cock that night, imagining what it would feel like to sink into that ass that he finally realising that Connor had been right.
But it was stupid, Hudson knew. He was curious and that was natural. He spend so much of his time as Shane and Shane wanted to fuck Ilya. It stood to reason that some of that would bleed through. In fact, surely it was proof that he was straight because if he was gay he would be wanting Connor to fuck him. A treacherous part of his mind pointed out that, no, surely if Shane was bleeding through into him, he would be wanting for Connor to fuck him and not the other way around. Wasn’t that the point of the stupid excuse he was making up? There was no way Shane thought about Ilya’s ass the amount Hudson thought about Connor’s. Not even close.
It didn’t matter, Hudson decided. They were friends and if Hudson was having some weird gay thoughts it wasn’t worth ruining things for. Not when he was sure he would get over it soon.
So he jerked off every night thinking of Connor, and he spent his days kissing Connor as Shane and he resolutely didn’t think about what that might mean.
“Hey, we should get drunk,” Hudson said one night. “We have the weekend off, come on, Connie!”
He pouted and flashed puppy dog eyes and Connor relented immediately. “Sure, bars?”
“Club, come on. I wanna dance.”
Connor sighed but indulged him like Hudson knew he would.
It had been his idea to go out, but he was quickly regretting it.
In the spirit of the show, they had gone to a gay club. Hudson didn’t feel uncomfortable, not even when guys came up and flirted with him. He was, however, increasingly uncomfortable with how at ease Connor seemed as he mingled, leaving Hudson at the bar. He had dressed up for the occasion. Jeans that hugged his ass just so and a slutty tank top that showed off his arms - cropped just enough that you could make out the v line at his hips. Hudson fucking hated it.
He was five shots deep and he was loose enough to admit to himself that he hated how the other men were looking at him, like he was something for them.
Hudson had to stop himself then. Other men? Implying, what? That Hudson was among the men looking at him, wanting him? Ridiculous. He had so much of Connor’s love, and he didn’t want anything else. Let them look, let them touch. Fuck it, let one of them take Connor out back and blow him for all Hudson cared, which was not at all and-
“Fuck no,” Hudson muttered to himself, already making his way through the crowd.
Connor was talking to a man. He seemed a little older than him, tall and muscular. They were bent together in avid conversation, and Connor had placed a hand flirtatiously on his arm. They seemed awfully fucking cozy already, and Hudson had only looked away for a moment. He obviously couldn’t leave Connor alone for a moment.
“I want a cig,” Hudson whined, interrupting their conversation rudely after nearly body checking at least three people in his rush over there.
Connor turned to him, not even looking annoyed. “Sure, Huddy,” he said, passing him one absentmindedly.
“Lighter?” he added petulantly.
The blond rolled his eyes. “You can borrow one out there. You always lose my lighter, I’m not risking it.”
The man was looking between the two of them bemusedly.
“I don’t wanna,” he wheedled, and he was pushing it now but he didn’t care. “Come with me, then.”
“Huddy,” he said, eyeing him in a way that was clearly implying ‘I’m busy’.
Hudson ignored it, reaching down to grab Connor’s hand and physically pull him away. An evil part of him revelled in the fact that Connor didn’t put up a fight. He was big enough that he could have, but he let Hudson tug him away and out to the smoking area. That proved he had to love him, had to want him more than that random guy.
“Seriously, Hudson?” Connor said the second they got out there. It was bustling with people, but no one paid them any mind. “I didn’t think you were a cock block.”
“Were you gonna fuck him?” Hudson asked, bitterness infusing his tone without him meaning it to.
“Actually,” Connor said, reaching for a cigarette and lighting it, “he was gonna fuck me.”
Hudson was lucky that Connor handed him the lighter at that moment as it gave him reason to not speak as he lit his own cigarette. Nothing that he was about to say was a good idea.
Were you gonna leave me alone at the club?
Were you gonna go to his or were you gonna make me sleep in the room over from you while he pounded you? Would you want me to hear?
Do you just crave dick? I have dick. I can give you what you want, I promise. You don’t need him. You don’t need anyone but me.
Connor seemed to read something of his thoughts in his expression. “What’s happening, baby? You seem upset.”
“M’not,” he muttered unconvincingly. “It’s just that you didn’t tell me you wanted to get laid tonight. I thought tonight was just us.”
He hated how he sounded. Hudson was fully aware that to any observers they looked like they were two men in an open relationship having a lover’s tiff.
Connor took a long drag, letting the smoke curl around his lips and Hudson couldn’t look away.
“I didn’t expect it, but he wanted to top me and you know how rare that is nowadays and it’s been sooooo long, Huddy.”
Hudson was still upset with his friend, but his cock clearly didn’t get the memo as it was beginning to thicken just at the whining tone of Connor’s words.
Fucking desperate for it. So slutty.
“So it didn’t matter who it was?” Hudson bit out.
“Hey! He was hot!” Connor protested.
“I didn’t notice.”
“Yeah, yeah, Mr Straight Guy. Of course you didn’t.”
Hudson felt frustration well up in his chest so fiercely that he felt like he could cry. His cigarette was smouldering, unsmoked, so he took a few shaky drags. He hadn’t been looking at the man because Connor had been all he could see, was all he had been able to see for months. He didn’t care what it meant for his sexuality anymore. He could be straight with one exception, he could be bi - he didn’t give a single fuck if it meant he could get Connor.
“Am I hot?” Hudson asked pathetically.
Connor reached to cup his cheek with his free hand, offering reassurance easily as always. “You know you’re hot, baby.”
He flushed. “Yeah, but…do you think I’m hot, Connie?”
Connor’s eyes softened around the edges fondly. “I think you’re beautiful, handsome, hot, pretty - all the words.”
Hudson felt himself puff up at the praise. “So why did you think you needed him?”
“He can give me things you can’t,” he said patiently. “You’re my favourite person, but sometimes I need-”
“To get fucked?” he finished for him.
The blond swallowed, taking one last drag of his cigarette before reaching to put it out in the ash tray nearby. “Pretty much,” he said, shrugging. “I’m only human, baby.”
“You think I can’t fuck you?” Hudson said petulantly, unable to make his tone anything other than begging.
Connor actually laughed at that, seeming sad and tired. “You’re drunk and you’re a good friend. Let’s not push it too far.”
Hudson gritted his teeth. “You gonna go back to him?”
“I was planning on it if I can track him down,” he said breezily, already pushing past him.
But Hudson wasn’t having it. His head was spinning and he felt like was going to burst into tears and he couldn’t let Connor leave him. He grabbed Connor’s wrist so hard that it stopped him in his tracks, Hudson took the opening and pushed him back against the wall. He didn’t give a fuck that they were in public, there were couples out here making out - they weren’t going to stand out.
“Connie!” he whined. “No! I don’t want you to.”
“You don’t want me to get laid?” he asked, an eyebrow raised.
“I didn’t say that,” Hudson had dropped his own cigarette at some point he couldn’t remember, but that was good because it left him with a hand free to reach up and take Connor’s jaw in a tight grip.
He pulled him into a kiss not like Shane would kiss Ilya, but how he would kiss a girl. Kissing as Shane had limited him so much, but he wanted to show Connor what he was missing. Show him why he didn’t need to look elsewhere.
For a blissful moment, Connor surged into him, kissing back eagerly. Hudson licked into his mouth, chasing the taste of smoke. The moment passed all too quickly as the blond pulled back, pressing their foreheads together.
“In case you’ve forgotten, you’re straight,” he said and Hudson didn’t contradict him. “Look, I know we’re very touchy and we’re close and I love that. I do. But…” he pulled back, “you can’t be everything I need. Not in this. You’re so amazing to me and I know you’d do it if I asked you to, but I would never ask you to.”
Hudson deflated, tears stinging at his eyes. “You don’t want me?”
“I don’t want you to do something you don’t want to do just because we’ve become weirdly codependent. You can handle being away from me for one night, Huddy.”
But no, he really couldn’t. And he definitely couldn’t handle spending the night imaging Connor getting fucked.
“I don’t want you to,” Hudson said, and that was all he could really bring himself to say. He felt oddly spacey and it wasn’t the alcohol.
“You’ll be fine,” and Connor was pulling away.
“Please?”
The blond stopped, turning to look at him, his expression torn. “What’s going on, really?”
The last thing he wanted to do was talk.
“Come on, let’s just get an Uber. I’m done with this place.”
“It was your idea to go out,” Connor pointed out.
“And now it’s my idea to go back.”
“And I’m going to listen to you because…?”
Hudson swallowed hard. “Because I said so.”
Connor looked at him with a mixture of confusion and amusement, smirking. “Oh? Because you said so, is that right?”
“And because when we get back, I’m going to fuck you so good that you won’t be able to remember why you were ever thinking about letting someone else do that.”
The blond looked truly devastated for a moment. “You can’t just say stuff like that.”
“I’m not just saying it!” he protested, and thank fuck for the fact that basically everyone else in the smoking area was hooking up and not paying them any attention because he hadn’t been subtle at all. “I mean it,” he insisted, reaching out to grip Connor’s waist, pulling him in. “Let me prove it to you, Connie.”
“And if this ruins everything?” he asked, though he was pliant under Hudson’s hands.
“It won’t. Don’t worry.”
“You’re straight.”
“Maybe, but I know I want you,” Hudson replied, finally feeling free enough to admit it. “And no, I don’t know what that means either.”
“Sexuality is fluid,” Connor offered.
“Mmhmm, exactly,” he replied. “Come on, let’s get an Uber already.”
“Fuck, you’re gonna be the death of me,” Connor sighed, but reached to lace their fingers together.
Connor steered them through the club as Hudson kept his gaze locked on his phone, getting them their Uber. If that guy was watching, he didn’t care. Hudson felt the sweet thrill of victory in his veins, so sweet that he didn’t need anything other than Connor.
The trip back in the Uber wasn’t awkward, per se, but Hudson would’ve felt better if they had been kissing during it. Connor hadn’t wanted to, though; something about PDA. Though, honestly, he felt like was about to combust and would’ve happily come humping Connor’s fucking leg before they got to the fucking, so maybe not tempting fate was for the best. Hudson had to impress him, had to prove that he had been right to go home with him and no one else.
Resolutely, Hudson forbade himself from feeling nervous or awkward, or from worrying that he wouldn’t know what to do. Not being gay enough, perhaps. Tonight was about impressing Connor, not about him having a sexuality crisis or whatever the fuck else his brain was trying to get him to do. That shit could wait.
He couldn’t remember how they got back to their apartment. All he could remember was how he barely let Connor out of his grip from the moment the door shut behind them, barely let him take his slutty tank top off. Hudson was so intent on discovering his mouth out of character for once, being able to touch when and where he wanted without having to worry about blocking or some other bullshit.
“Bedroom,” Hudson grunted, pushing him back towards his room. He didn’t know why he picked his own room and not Connor’s, maybe something about seeing him spread out on his bed?
“You got a plan, Huddy?”
“Apart from getting your pants off so I can grab your ass properly?” he teased.
Connor chucked obligingly. “Yeah, apart from that. I seem to remember hearing something about fucking me until I couldn’t think of anyone else, but maybe I was wrong. After all, my sweet Huddy wouldn’t be capable of that.”
Hudson huffed, pushing Connor back onto the bed. “Don’t tease me.”
He hated how his lack of knowledge about fucking a man had put him in the role of an ingenue. He knew how to fuck, dammit! He prided himself on being a good lay - zero complaints. This would be no different, he was determined. Especially not when he had so much to lose.
”Awww, I’m not teasing you, baby. I’m just…”
”Teasing me,” Hudson replied darkly.
The blond seemed utterly unaffected by his show of annoyance. Instead of replying, he leaned back, making a stripshow of wiggling his pants and underwear off - maintaining an utterly sinful level of eye contact the entire time.
”Ah, ah!” Connor tsk’ed the moment Hudson made to join him on the bed.”You stay right there.”
He actually whined at that, feeling desperately maltreated. “But, Connie!”
“But nothing,” he replied firmly. “We’re doing this my way or we’re not doing it at all, got it?”
Hudson swallowed hard. “Ok.”
“I should make you say ‘yes, sir’,” Connor mused.
Hudson’s knees nearly fucking buckled. “Yes, sir,” he said with zero embarrassment.
“Where’s your lube?”
“T-there,” he replied, voice scratchy as he watched Connor reach into Hudson’s bedside drawer for the lube he had used the previous night to jerk off thinking about him.
“I’m gonna open myself up for you,” for you, the words hit Hudson like a fucking bullet to the chest, “and you’re gonna watch and learn. And keep your clothes on, I want your full attention on me and not your cock.”
Hudson opened his mouth to quip back, but nothing came out. He was too busy looking at the way Connor was lubing up his fingers.
“And yes,” Connor added with a wink, “there will be a pop quiz after.”
Hudson nearly moaned.
Connor was clearly trying to kill him, he was certain. At least three times he had tried to close the distance between them, and every time Connor had rebuffed him.
“You stay over there, Huddy baby. I’ll call you when I want you,” he said, all aristocratic authority even as he had two fingers knuckle-deep in his ass.
“You don’t want me now?” Hudson pouted, hoping that it would be enough to break him.
Connor’s gaze softened for a moment, but he quickly fell back into his previous amused detachment that had Hudson hard and leaking; like Connor thought he was a silly and entertaining toy that he was simply going to use as and when he wanted without reference to what Hudson wanted.
“Alright, badly phrased. I, - ah! - obviously want you, now and always, but right now I want to get ready for you and I know if you come near me now I won’t bother with the prep,” he said, gasping little choked-out sounds that had Hudson itching to touch.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” Hudson said, hoping he would never be selfish enough to do something like that. Though with how badly he wanted Connor right then, he couldn’t be sure.
“I know, baby. And it can be good that way, but I want to give you the full experience,” he explained.
So Hudson had to stand there and watch Connor open himself up torturously slowly. He felt like a cuck without the cuck chair and there wasn’t even anyone else with them. He forced himself to keep his eyes on the blond, though, even as it began to feel like too much. Connor wanted him to, and besides, he had to remember this in as much detail as possible. If this was a one time thing, then he needed his memories of it to be as clear as possible. He was already regretting having drunk tonight, because he could feel things being slightly blurred at the edges.
Connor was clearly adept at this, at reaching around and fucking himself open with his fingers. They were so long and thick, and Hudson wondered if it was the same as fingering open a pussy.
“Wish you’d let me try,” he complained.
The blond smirked at him. “Next time.”
And fuck, if that didn’t make it all better. There will be a next time! Connor wanted there to be a next time.
“O-ok,” he breathed, “I really want to finger you, Connie.”
Those blue eyes stared at him half-lidded with lust. “Love when you talk dirty to me,” he said, humping back down onto his fingers. “What else do you want to do?”
And this? Saying the most unhinged shit in any given situation? This Hudson could do.
“I want to get you on all fours, push your head down into the mattress and fuck you until you’re a crying, drooling mess.” He was on a roll, his cock was hard and straining against his pants, but he didn’t care. All of his attention was on how Connor’s breath hitched at his words. “Do you want me to do that? I could make you feel so good if you just let me get at you, baby.”
Seemingly beyond words, for once, Connor left out a whine, nodding.
“Why are you keeping me away from you, then?” and now it was Hudson’s turn to sound pathetic.
Connor’s eyes were almost completely black, pupils blown wide with lust. He had four fingers inside of himself, and the wet sound of him fucking his own hole roughly were enough to make Hudson feel like he might pass out. He wasn’t sure he would even get to fuck the man. In fact, coming in his pants untouched like a fucking teenager seemed like a real possibility right then. He pinched his bicep hard, hoping to ground himself.
“Come fuck me, Huddy,” and there was something very Ilya in his tone.
There wasn’t a single second’s worth of hesitation or thought. It was all he could do to kick his shoes off before he got to the bed, already reaching for the buttons of his jeans.
“Ah, ah,” Connor tutted. “Don’t open my present for me.”
Hudson whimpered. He had never felt so singularly desired in his life. Sure, people had wanted to fuck him before, but this was different. Right now, he felt like he was on the precipice of being devoured, and he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.
Connor crawled along the bed on his hands and knees, reaching up to undo Hudson’s belt and the top button of his jeans, tugging them down quickly. He looked down and saw his own cock straining against his underwear, a wet spot already forming.
“Aw, baby,” Connor crooned. “Have I been neglecting you?”
He pressed a kiss to his cock through the underwear and Hudson nearly buckled. It was simply too fucking filthy. Too filthy how he was pressing sloppy, open-mouthed kisses over his cock, seeming too preoccupied to even get his underwear down and fuck, Hudson could swear that he could come just like this.
“Shit, shit,” he hissed. “Stop!”
Connor jerked back, looking at him with wide eyes. “Are you ok?”
Hudson’s chest lurched with a sudden aggressive wave of affection. “Yeah, just don’t wanna come yet.”
The blond smirked. “You flatter me,” he said, rocking onto his back and beckoning him forward. “Take your time then, so long as you make good on your promise.”
For a moment, Hudson felt the pressure begin to overwhelm him, but then he saw how Connor was looking at him and he finally realised that he was being joked with.
“Just get over here,” Connor added.
Hudson was more than happy to oblige, pushing Connor back onto the bed, a hand on his leg pulling it up over his hip. He took a moment to just grind down onto Connor’s cock, revelling in finally getting some sensation.
“Now you’re teasing me,” Connor remarked.
“Maybe that’s the plan. Maybe I’m getting my own back.”
Connor just reached down, gripping onto Hudson’s hips tightly, before rolling them over so Connor was straddling him.
“We’re not doing that,” he said firmly, and Hudson wasn’t about to argue.
Hudson gasped, his heart thumping inside his chest so hard that it almost hurt. “What are we doing then?”
“I’m going to ride you,” he said firmly before his expression shifted for a moment. “Is that ok?”
Hudson wanted to laugh at that. “Fucking obviously,” he said, his hips twitching. “I…I want it to be good for you.”
“It will be. You’re being so good for me already, Huddy,” Connor crooned, brushing a whisper of a kiss over Hudson’s open mouth, just catching his lower lip between his teeth for a moment.
“Please, just let me get inside you, baby,” Hudson whined, his face scrunching up with just how much he wanted it at that moment.
His cock was so hard it ached, and when Connor got his hand around him to guide him inside, he felt it throb. He swore it almost had a fucking palpable heartbeat it was so hard. Finally, he felt the head of his cock start to push into Connor, his body opening for him beautifully.
“Fuck!” he groaned, his fingers digging in tight enough into Connor’s hips that he felt vaguely guilty, but if the way the blond above him was hissing out a litany of sharp curses through his teeth was anything to go by, he didn’t seem to mind.
Connor was gripping him so sinfully tight, his body seeming greedy to suck him up and hold him there forever. Hudson barely had time to think ‘fuck, oh my god, I’m actually fucking a man. I’m actually fucking Connor’ before Connor started to move. It was slow at first, almost tentative, but Hudson still moaned like the sound had been punched out from deep inside him.
“How are you feeling, baby?” Connor crooned, sounding not nearly as affected by all this as Hudson would have wished.
He thrashed his hips just a little, and it served more to only jostle them than to give him any real relief from the incessant teasing.
“I asked you a question,” Connor added, stilling completely.
Hudson whined breathlessly, his eyes unable to focus on Connor’s face enough to make out what his expression was.
“I…oh, fuck, it feels so so so fucking good, Connie,” he said, uncaring for how fucked-out he sounded already. “Please move.”
“Fuck, Huddy,” Connor let his head fall forward so their foreheads were touching. He desperately wanted to kiss, but the heated exchange of panting breaths would have to be enough for now. “You feel so good inside me, so perfect. Like you were made for me, huh? Were you? Like my own personal toy to use how I want?”
“Nnghh, yes anything you want. Anything. Just move, oh my fucking god I’m going to die if you don’t-”
“I know,” he said in that same voice that he used to comfort Hudson when he didn’t get a part - all sunshine, sweetness and understanding. “But you can be good for me, can’t you? When you want to be.”
“Tell me how to be good for you,” he panted, hating that Connor’s weight was keeping him from fucking up into his perfect body, and why was he being punished like this? “I want to be good for you.”
“Well,” he drawled, “right now I just need you to hang on for the night,” he moved up and down just once, “and don’t come before I tell you to,” Connor reached up, smacking Hudson’s cheek gently for emphasis, “got it?”
He wanted to reply. He figured that Connor expected him to and he didn’t want to let him down, but he simply couldn’t at that moment. Not even if Connor asked him to with those eyes of his. Thankfully, Connor seemed to read his expression and found it passable.
Before Hudson could think anything else, Connor finally started to ride him in earnest and fuck! This felt like something Connor should have been doing ages ago, he was so good at it. The very first time they met in person, Connor should have dragged him off into a cupboard and fucked him to within an inch of his life. Every moment that they had ever spent not joined like this was a total and utter waste, he couldn’t help but think.
His hands scrabbled at Connor’s hips, his ass, up his back - anywhere to try and find purchase without doing anything to potentially upset his rhythm, because that would be a damn shame. In the end, he settled for grabbing onto Connor’s pecs. He had intended to tease Connor with it, to make him feel some semblance of how raw and pathetic he felt, but in the end, he was simply groping him like a teen at prom. Unskilled and desperate.
“You moan so loud, Huddy,” Connor commented, almost offhandedly, before smirking down at him. “Knew you would. Such a good boy for me.”
Only for you, he almost said, but the words thankfully didn’t leave his mouth. Instead, he forced his head up so their lips met in a messy kiss. It was easier than talking right then anyway. Hudson felt like he was floating, the pleasure was so intense. The physical twinned with the mental pleasure of knowing that he was finally, finally getting what he wanted after so many pathetic nights coming onto his own fist.
He wanted to be good for Connor, wanted to lie there and let himself be used as the good boy he so badly wanted to be. But he couldn’t keep still, he let his hands slip from Connor’s chest down to his hips, using all of his strength to keep him still.
“Oh, fuck, Hud-!” Connor gasped as Hudson pulled him down into him as he thrust up, effectively jolting them both with the force of it. “You-”
But whatever he was going to say was caught on the loud moan that left him like it had been punched out from him. Was that what he had seen in the gay porn that he had pretended to himself that he hadn’t liked to watch as a teen? Was that Connor’s G spot? Not wanting to let his advantage go, he continued to fuck him with all the finesse he had managed to learn over the years, trying to aim for that spot that had made Connor make those wonderful noises.
Connor’s hand on his throat took him by surprise, and his hips sputtered in their rhythm before stilling.
“Connie?” he asked nervously, the blond’s expression was perturbed to say the least.
“You said you’d be good for me, didn’t you?”
Hudson nodded.
“And you said you’d stay still and let me use your cock like my own personal dildo, right?”
He swallowed hard before nodding again.
Connor’s grip tightened. “You’re not being very good right now, are you?”
Hudson tried to piece together what Connor meant, but found himself feeling too fuzzy to do so. He had been moaning so prettily earlier, what had Hudson done wrong?
“Don’t look at me with those eyes,” Connor huffed, but he didn’t seem annoyed anymore.
“Just…needed to fuck you, had to move,” he explained, and even to his own ears he sounded pathetic.
“Aww baby,” and suddenly he was all sweetness again, though now with an unmistakable edge, “you couldn’t help it, could you? You couldn’t follow a simple order, so you just had to rut up into me like a mutt.”
Hudson gasped, but didn’t reply.
“Well?” Connor prompted. “Is that it?”
“Yes, sir,” Hudson replied, the honorific feeling oddly reflexive given that it was the second time that he had ever used it.
“I bet,” and he started to grind his hips into Hudson and he daren’t move but it just felt so good and staying still was torture, “that you could come just from humping my leg like a dog.”
Hudson threw his head back as the image assaulted him. Him, on his knees in front of Connor, using his leg to get off. Would Connor let him suck his cock? It was his fantasy, so he decided that he was worthy. Fuck, he needed to drop this, he had to stop himself from coming. He felt far too close already.
Connor picked up the speed, his athletic frame making riding look effortless. “I mean, you can barely talk right now, you’re practically panting, and,” he paused, “you have those hungry coyote eyes.”
“Just cause I want you so bad, Connie,” he forced himself to reply properly. “Feel so close to coming, I-”
And Connor stopped entirely. Hudson whined, feeling tears spring to his eyes, but he knew that Connor didn’t want him to come yet. He hadn’t finished being useful, Connor wasn’t going to allow him to come yet, and fuck, if that wasn’t possibly the hottest thing that had ever happened to him. Even being edged like this, panting and fisting at the sheets as he forced himself back into some semblance of control.
“Thank you for telling me, baby, but I’m not done with you yet.”
And no, of course not, Connor hadn’t come yet. Hudson bit his lip hard, trying to keep himself calm. The view in front of him was simply too delicious, so he tried closing his eyes, but that meant that he had more brainpower to take in the sensations of Connor clenching around him. That was simply too dangerous. He could feel his orgasm curling in his balls, almost writhing. His eyelids fluttered as he tried to focus on the here and now and not how close he was to finally coming.
“I’m ok,” he said eventually, still inexplicably breathless. “You can move.”
“Oh? Can I?” Connor teased, grinding down on him, rubbing his cock shamelessly on Hudson’s trembling stomach. “You giving me permission?”
“Hhhngh, yes, no, I don’t know,” he hated feeling like he didn’t know the script. “Whatever gets you to move.”
Connor chuckled. “Maybe try ‘you choose when to fuck me, sir’.”
Hudson repeated the words as commanded easily, and he truly did feel that he was the one being fucked right then. For all that he was inside Connor, he did feel singularly controlled and used - and he wouldn’t have it any other way.
It got a little bit easier to feel like he was following the script after that. Connor got back to riding him the Texan cowboy that Hudson liked to joke that he was. He had seen a video once of Connor riding one of those mechanical bulls, and he had been too in denial about his feelings to truly commit the moment to memory at the time, but it came back to him unbidden then. He had been so fucking good at it, his hips rolling sinfully well. Hudson had vaguely wondered at where he had learned at the time, and now…
Fuck, Connor sure knows how to ride, Hudson had thought both then and now.
Hudson was happy to lie there and take it, and at least he didn’t have to worry about performing like he had been doing in the Uber. There was nothing easier in the world right at this moment than staying hard. It was just a matter of not coming until Connor had already - it was a matter of pride to him. Tentatively, he reached to take the blond’s cock in his hand. It was an odd angle, not like jerking himself off at all, but still, he was sure he could do a passable job.
He only managed to stoke Connor a few times before the hand that had still not left his throat tightened again, this time enough for him to see stars, as his head was pushed back against the headboard for a moment.
“No,” he scolded like you would do a dog, “naughty boy. You don’t get to touch me.”
“I just want you to come, baby,” he whined the moment Connor let him breathe, though the blond’s hand still didn’t drop, he still kept him pushed back against the headboard. “I want to make it good for you.”
“I think,” Connor panted, not stilling his movements or even slowing down, “I can come just from this and- ah! - it’s so good like that, Huddy. I haven’t had it in so long.”
And there was the whiny Connor that he loved so much, not that he didn’t love this dominant version too. But this Connor - the desperate and whining Connor with the wide blue eyes and that trembling lips - made it impossible not to give in and give him whatever he wanted. And if Connor wanted to come hands free, then that was what was going to fucking happen.
“You can’t just say shit like that, baby,” Hudson managed to say eventually. “You’ll make me come.”
Connor hummed, considering this. “I could still ride you though,” he mused, leaning down to steal a filthy kiss before pulling back to continue. “You’d be so cute, baby. All overstimulated. Fuck!” he hissed as he changed angle slightly. “You’d be so good for me, though, wouldn’t you? You’d take everything.”
“Yeah,” Hudson reached up to take the hand that was on his throat, squeezing it slightly, just enough to feel the pressure through Connor’s hand, but not enough to cut off air. “I want you to use me to come, Connie.”
“And what if I didn’t let you come? What if I put a cock ring on you and made you fuck me until I came and gave you no relief, huh? Would you do that for me too, Huddy?”
His voice had taken on a filthy quality that Hudson had never heard from him before, a little far away, like he was truly imagining it. His eyes were lidded as he looked down at Hudson, leaning down to kiss him for a long moment.
“Yes!” he whined the moment his mouth was free, though the idea made his stomach flutter. “If you wanted that.”
“You’re cute,” Connor replied fondly. “We’re talking too much.”
And Hudson couldn’t reply even if he wanted to as Connor’s hand moved from his throat to his shoulder, soon joined by the other one, as Connor used the leverage to really fuck himself on Hudson’s cock. And he didn’t ask permission to move, hoped he wouldn’t be chastised for it, but he simply had to. Their bodies moved in sync, chasing their orgasms. Hudson didn’t want to be selfish, but he couldn’t help it. Connor could punish him for it later if he wanted to.
Hudson came hard enough that his ears were ringing, hips twitching pitifully as he realised belatedly that they hadn’t discussed whether it was ok to cum inside him at all. And he hadn’t been wearing a condom - fuck! What if Connor was upset with him? The worries fled his mind as he realised that just like Connor had said before, he was still using Hudson’s cock like his own personal toy. Still riding him roughly in a way that spoke more about him wanting to reach his own G spot than about it feeling good for Hudson per se, and wasn’t that just fucking hot? It was a good thing too, since he was indeed overstimulated as hell and he didn’t need the blond actively trying to cause him more pleasure right then. It hurt, but in the best way possible as he watched Connor come apart above him. Cum hit Hudson’s stomach, some of it made it as high as his collarbones, and a private part of him was glad that he could make Connor come that hard even as he wondered if anyone else had.
Hudson quickly reached up, wrapping his arms around Connor’s waist, bringing them crashing together in a tight hug as he rolled them to the side, slowly pulling out as he did.
Connor looked positively wrecked. Hudson had seen him push himself hard at the gym, but this was more intense than that. A flush reached down the blond’s chest and his hair was slightly damp with sweat. It wasn’t surprising since Connor had ridden the shit out of him and that should definitely count as a workout. Secretly, Hudson took stock of how kiss-red his lips were and how he was still panting and shaking slightly against him, and allowed himself to feel vindicated that he hadn’t fucked this up like he had been so worried about.
“I’m sticky,” Connor complained, though there was no heat in it.
Hudson gestured to his own torso, leaning back slightly. “You and me both, babe. Shower?”
He hummed noncommittally. “I don’t know if my legs would get me there.”
“I could carry you,” he replied, only half teasing.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” he sighed. “Nah, I just…” he turned to Hudson, his face suddenly serious. “Was this ok? Did you have a good time?”
Hudson snorted. “You’re not usually the type to ask stupid questions.”
“So you did have a good time?”
“You’re underselling it a bit,” he replied, deciding that he didn’t care how pathetic he came across. “Best sex of my life.”
“I bet you say that to all the girls.”
“First time I’ve meant it, though,” he said with a wink.
Connor let out a sigh of relief. “I was worried you’d regret it.”
“Never. I…” he paused, feeling the most exposed he had the whole night, “you have to know how I feel, right, Connie?”
“I mean, maybe? All I know is we had some great sex, and that you’re probably not straight. That’s what I’m getting from events.”
Hudson blushed, though that hardly felt possible with how overheated he still felt. “Maybe add in that I’m super in love with you.”
“What?”
He shrugged. “I mean, we’re best friends and I love you, and I don’t want to spend time with anyone else, well, ever, really. And now we know we have chemistry as Hudson and Connor and not just Shane and Ilya, well….isn’t that the full package?”
Connor seemed to consider this. “I don’t know if I have it in me to get all philosophical right now.”
Hudson sat up, taking Connor’s hand. “Do you have it in you to teach me how to suck dick while we’re in the shower?"
“You’re a fast learner, I think you have it in hand.”
“I think the point is to have it in my mouth,” he pointed out, grinning.
Connor hit him with his pillow. “Come on, before I change my mind.”
“Yes, sir!”