Chapter Text
Before, there was only love and tenderness and stolen moments together. Then there was betrayal and misery. And finally, one terrifying, amazing surprise.
Nothing about Ratchet changed outwardly. He was still gruff and jaded, working around the clock to keep bots alive as they were dragged from tje battlefield. But behind his chestplates, he held a secret right next to his spark.
Ratchet thought he knew fear before, when he didn't know who would come back from battle this time. But he was wrong, this was true fear. The piercing uncertainty of a tiny new life connected to his.
He was always cautious before, he knew how valuable a medic his was. But now he had to consider the secret he carried with him as well. Straining himself too much, underfueling, even missing defrag time could prove to be too much on the little one.
Then the last remaining piece of a time when there was nothing to fear would be gone. It was terribly selfish, but it was his secret to keep. His guilt was assuaged by the knowledge that the newspark might not make it. He was allowed to hold onto them for as long as he could.
The whole world was awash with terror and death. And hidden away from it all, a new life grows in peace, not knowing what they will be born into.
There was a sparkling in the medbay.
That was the first thing Hot Rod noticed after Ratchet had scolded him for damaging the axle of his elbow joint in an arm-wrestling competition and told him to sit down and wait a klik.
Hot Rod had seen the dome-topped incubator off to the side and immediately hopped from the medberth to check it out. And there, swaddled in silver sheets and nestled into padding below the dome, was a tiny sparkling.
He didn't know they could be so little. The bitlet was small enough he could easily cradle them in both hands.
Hot Rod is instantly entranced. "A sparkling! Wait, Ratchet, why do you have a sparkling in here?"
"I told you to stay put!" Ratchet snaps, pinching Hot Rod's spoiler and yanking him back to the medberth.
"Ow! Hey! You can't expect me to see an incubator and not look inside! We haven't used those since the start of the war!"
"You should know better. Let me see that joint."
Hot Rod reluctantly holds out his arm for Ratchet to examine. "So what's up with the sparkling? Did they lose their creators? Or did someone just have an emergence?"
"Neither. They're mine." Ratchet says. Then he starts splinting Hot Rod's arm like nothing is the matter.
"You've been carrying this whole time?!" Hot Rod blurts out.
"Hush! You're going to wake them!"
But it's too late. There's a muffled, hiccuping cry from within the incubator. Ratchet hastily slaps the last strap of the splint into place and goes to open the dome and lift out the sparkling.
Hot Rod watches in shock as Ratchet holds the bitlet close, engine rumbling soothingly. "There, there, I've got you now. There's no need for all this fuss."
"That's not possible. You never said anything. I thought carriers had to rest and take special care not to stress themselves or—" Hot Rod shuts up as Ratchet glares at him.
Right. There is no rest or extra care in an active warzone. Especially not for the CMO.
"Why, then? Who's the sire?" Hot Rod asks before he can stop himself.
"None of your Primus-damned business. I made them myself, and that's all you're getting."
"Okay, I'll back off." Hot Rod says, raising his uninjured hand up in surrender. "Can I see them?"
Ratchet turns toward him, holding the sparkling out just enough that Hot Rod can see their tiny face plates. "As long as you stop asking stupid questions."
"Just one more? I promise it's not stupid." Hod Rod leans in as close as he dares to gaze in awe at the tiny being.
"Fine."
"What's their designation?"
Ratchet's scowl turns into a sardonic smile, and he shakes his helm slightly like he's enjoying a private joke. "Firestarter."
Hot Rod tells Sideswipe, who tells Sunstreaker, and both the twins tell Ironhide, who immediately goes to Optimus.
"Hello, old friend." Oprimus greets as he enters Ratchet's office.
"Optimus." Ratchet says. "Are you here about the sparkling?"
"Yes." Optimus despairs internally as Ratchet seems to tense up even further. "I wanted to apologize."
"What?" Ratchet stares at him suspiciously.
"I'm sorry that you didn't feel safe enough to tell me you were carrying. I'm sorry you had to go through that alone, and I'm sorry for the strain it must have placed you and your sparkling under." Optimus bows his helm. "I have failed you, my friend."
Ratchet sighs. "Don't say that. I don't need your apologies. I need your help."
Optimus looks up. "Anything, what can I do?"
"I need permission to take First Aid off the regular rotation. He's the only other person who knew about the sparkling, and he's the only one I trust to take care of them while I work. They emerged with a spark condition, and they need constant monitoring."
"A spark condition?"
"Yes, their frame is too small and weak to support their spark." Ratchet meets Optimus's optics, his gaze hard. "They almost didn't survive emergence. I need you to promise me that my sparkling will be taken care of when I'm not there. You owe me that much."
"Of course. If there's anything else I can do, please let me help you." Optimus looks Ratchet up and down, taking in his dim optics and slumped posture where he sits behind his desk. "If you need leave time to recover—"
"No. I'll rest when the war is over."
"Very well. I will see to it that First Aid is available. And Ratchet? Be careful. We may need your skills, but it is not worth wrecking yourself over it." With that, Optimus turns to leave. But he pauses at the door. "You have a creation to think about now. What will they do if you push yourself too far? Something to consider."
"Thank you, Optimus." Ratchet grits out. "I'll keep that in mind."
Optimus leaves. His processor is a mess, but he still needs to figure out what he'll say to the troops.
Something short and reassuring. And a warning not to ask Ratchet for further details, lest they risk getting a dent to the helm.
Ratchet wakes up to the spark monitor alarm signal. He had it set to alert him when Firestarter's spark was off its proper rhythm, even when he was off duty. Right now, it should be First Aid going to help them.
But Ratchet hadn't realized that he would still feel the creator sparkbond the whole time. It felt like Firestarter was still a pinprick orbiting his own spark, crying out in distress. He can feel them struggling, their weak spark stuttering.
He's bursting into the medbay before he can even register getting out of berth. First Aid already has Firestarter hooked up to all the proper equipment. They're so small, drowning in the amount of wires haloing them, the ends magnetized to their plating.
It all fades into the background as Ratchet's spark reaches for Firestarter. He shoves First Aid aside roughly, reaching for his sparkling.
They're so small. Every time he looks at them that's all he can think about. When he holds them, he can feel how light and fragile they are. Too light for a healthy sparkling.
Ratchet takes them into his arms and feels their spark reaching for his. He knows it's his fault, for being selfish enough to keep them, for thinking he could make it work. Firestarter is fragile and weak because of him.
When he was still carrying them, the proper way to support their growth would be to have regular spark merges with their other creator. The combined spark energy would help them grow and their spark to stabilize. But he only had his own spark energy to give them, and at first he had been sure they would flicker out before ever detaching from his spark.
But they survived. And they keep fighting to live, even now.
Ratchet holds them against his chest plates, as close to his spark as he can. Firestarter cries in his arms, so weakly that they're nearly silent.
From across the room, First Aid speaks up. "You could try to resonate directly with their spark. The bond might help them stabilize."
Ratchet hums an acknowledgement. He focuses in on the spinning of his own spark. His creator bond with Firestarter is a narrow thread connecting them, and he tries to hold onto it. He wills his frantic systems to calm, his spark's rotations to slow. The bond shudders with stress, slowly beginning to calm.
The alarms for the spark monitors shut off. Ratchet watches his bitlet blink open their optics, coolant still puddling beneath them. "There you are, sweetspark. Shh, you're okay now."
He may have been selfish to keep this sparkling. But he doesn't regret it for a second.
There was a sparkling in the rec room. They were learning how to walk.
Firestarter was clinging to First Aid's hands as the medic helped them balance.
They were a chunky little thing, filling out in width rather than height and making it harder for them to stay on their pedes. The tiny wheels of their eventual alt mode were coming in, and it was only a matter of time before a miniature ambulance would be zooming around.
At least, that's what everyone assumed. Across the room, Sunstreaker observes the sparkling critically. His memories of his own sparklinghood are scattered, but he does remember what his twin had looked like at a similar age. And he can't help but draw comparisons.
Sideswipe doesn't seem to notice anything off, grinning and waving at the bitlet as they toddle slowly past. Sunstreaker speaks up once the sparkling and First Aid are out of hearing range. "Their wheels are coming in."
"Yep." Sideswipe gives him a puzzled look at his tone.
"Engine too." Most of the off-kilter chunkiness was likely a result of it.
"I guess? Why?" Sideswipe catches the suspicion flowing into their twin sparkbond.
"Doesn't look much like an ambulance." Sunstreaker concludes.
Sideswipe shrugs. "Well, there has to be another parent, right?"
"A secret parent." Sunstreaker adds, giving him a look.
"Ooh." Sideswipe nods knowingly. "Maybe it won't be so obvious?"
After all, stereotypically Decepticon features could be hidden. Claws and fangs and red optics. They both had plenty of experience with that.
Sunstreaker doesn't reply. They'll just have to wait and see.
There is a sparkling amongst the troops, walking hand in hand with Bumblebee.
the Autobot soldiers wait outside of their ship for the command to transform and roll out. In the meantime, there is a sparkling taking steps on solid ground for the first time.
Bumblebee smiles down at Firestarter, who is looking in every direction with wide optics. The sparkling is just tall enough to reach his hip, and that's mostly due to the oversized finials that stick up from their helm.
Firestarter points at a distant crystal formation, beeping a query.
"Use your words." Bumblebee replies, the way Ratchet had taught him to.
Firestarter huffs at him, puffing out their cheeks in frustration. "Whas dat?"
"Crystals, but I'm not sure what kind. Wanna take a closer look?"
They whistle an excited sound, lifting their arms to be picked up. Bumblebee shakes his helm. "You're supposed to be getting some exercise before you have to stay in your hab for a while to keep you safe. So it's walking or driving, itty-bitty."
Firestarter gives a shrill cry and turns away from him, crossing their arms and plopping down to sit on the ground. Their little engine rumbles in a growl.
"Aw, don't be mad at me." Bumblebee sits beside them. "Those are your carrier's rules, he just wants you to be safe and not cause any trouble while he's gone."
"Riri no go!" Firestarter protests.
Bumblebee winces. Ratchet had bluntly explained to Firestarter that he would be away and they would be staying back with a sitter to watch over them. And the resulting tantrum had been tremendous. The walk outside had calmed the bitlet for a little while as their curiosity outweighed their upset. Then Bumblebee had reminded them without thinking.
"I'm sorry, it's true. But you'll have so much fun hanging out with Perceptor! He's kinda serious but he always has fun games to play." Or at least challenging ones. Bumblebee was sure he would have some sparkling-appropriate puzzles made for Firestarter.
"No." Firestarter says again. They shuffle around to turn their back to Bumblebee.
Bumblebee looks around helplessly. He catches Ironhide's optics, as the mech is already looking over at them. He gives him a pleading look.
Ironhide walks over. "Aww, what's got the little spitfire upset now?"
Firestarter pouts up at him, finials pinned back and optics welling with coolant. They once again lift their arms to be picked up and Ironhide obliges.
"They're supposed to be getting exercise right now." Bumblebee explains wearily.
"Well why don't we see if we can distract them first." Ironhide replies with a wink. He starts to walk back towards the troops, Bumblebee following along.
Ironhide points out soldiers as they go along, whispering to Firestarter. "Now that there is Hound, he's the greatest hologram illusionist you ever did see."
Hound waves and Firestarter stares at him, still pouting.
"There's Cliffjumper and Brawl, they may be small but they still throw down with the best of 'em."
The bots in question are wrestling playfully, but they jump apart at the sight of their commander, standing at attention. Ironhide laughs at them. "At ease!"
Firestarter giggles along with him. They kick their pedes, pointing at another bot.
"And you already know Sideswipe." Ironhide says.
Sideswipe approaches, waving to Firestarter. "There's my favorite little scraplet!"
Firestarter reaches for him, and Sideswipe takes them from Ironhide's arms. He spins them in a circle, tossing them into the air and catching them. Firestarter laughs even harder. "Again! Again!"
"Be careful!" Bumblebee says, halfway to taking Firestarter back.
"They're fine!" Sideswipe replies. "Why are they out of the ship anyways?"
"Getting some exercise." Ironhide says.
"Ratchet's orders." Bumblebee adds.
"Then let's play a game to wear you out." Sideswipe sets Firestarter down. Then he transforms, rolling back slightly and revving his engine.
Firestarter cheers, and folds into their own alt-mode. It's much closer to Sideswipe's speedster alt than Ratchet's ambulance mode. Bumblebee was never one to speculate about Firestarter's mysterious sire, but sometimes it was hard to ignore all the ways in which they differed from their carrier.
Sideswipe backs up even further and Firestarter chases after him. They play like that, Sideswipe driving just fast enough to stay out of range, and Firestarter pushing their tiny engine to its limit to try to catch up with him.
Eventually, Sideswipe slows and lets them bump into him, ending the game. Firestarter returns to root mode and flops onto their back, completely tired out.
Bumblebee scoops them up. "Thanks, Sideswipe."
"Anytime!" Sideswipe lounges on the ground, grinning lazily.
"On your pedes, soldier!" Ironhide barks.
Bumblebee hides his smile as Sideswipe startles and scrambles upright. He leaves Sideswipe and Ironhide, carrying Firestarter back to the ship. Hopefully the little one will nap through the whole battle and wake up when Ratchet returns.
Some days, Ratchet can hardly stand to look at his own creation.
It's not their fault. He just thought that he had known what he was signing up for.
He knew they would look a lot like their sire. But he wasn't prepared for when he came back from battle to them sleeping peacefully, innocent and unaware. It was a shock to his system, bringing back memories.
After patching up dying bots as more fell around him, Ratchet could only see the long and difficult future laid out for his bitlet. They would eventually know about the war that threatened their carrier's life, and the lives of everyone that cared for them.
And they would know about their sire. They would live with that weight the same way Ratchet lived with it.
It was almost sparkbreaking how much they looked like him. Not like the monster their sire became, but the bot he had been before. Ratchet felt selfish, like he was holding onto a piece of the past, perfectly preserved in the way his creation snarled at him like a bot he once knew.
Ratchet leans over their crib and feels the way Firestarter's spark reaches out for his, the carrier bond still strong. One day it will fade into nothing as they grow fully independent. But for now, he can feel their contentment as they recharge peacefully.
He leans further and places a gentle kiss on their forehelm. One day, but not today. For now, his little one is protected from everything. And he'll try to keep it that way for as long as he can.