Chapter Text
It’s dark, the circus no more than muted greys and crumbling toy blocks. It was light enough to see, but the corners of the circus, previously brightly lit and filled with color, were shadowed enough to hide secrets no one wanted to say aloud. It was just after Caine’s meltdown and subsequent deletion, though the only one who knew about the ladder was the one who had a hand in creating Caine. It was almost poetic. Pomni was lying crumpled on the floor, like she had been roughly deposited there without any care. The buzzing in her head was slowly dragging her back to consciousness. Her digital lungs drew in a quick breath, as if suddenly kick started without any empathy for how her body responded next.
Her breath hitched halfway through in a wince and her eyes snapped open, suddenly fully awake and aware of only two things: The circus feels dead and she’s hurt. Pain in the circus was a given, but usually there was some sort of build up or warning. Caine, usually at least, lets them eat breakfast before throwing them into another hellish adven- The thought was cut off as new, more recent information flicked behind her eyes. The plan. Distract Caine, so Kinger could alter his code and more or less mellow him out. She saw the moment Caine figured them out and heard her own voice pitched higher in her last ditch effort to hold his attention. It worked but…
Pomni groaned at her memories and at the physical exertion it took to finally sit up and stare blankly at the checkered floor a few feet in front of her ‘…..Thats right..’ Caine had just thrown them into their worst nightmares in the most terrifying temper tantrum she’s ever seen. She said he never listened, and the ringmaster proved her wrong. Jesus..She didn’t expect it to go like that.. Okay she did expect him to be angry, but not like that. If anything, maybe a replay of his little song number from days ago, but what actually happened…
Pomni felt a shudder rake through her body as images flicked past her mind's eye, the pain it caused all over her only intensified the memory. GummyGoo was there, but he wasn’t right. His face was morphed into something terrifying and probably more realistic. He looked like a wild animal and acted like it. Pomni could still feel his and his mates’ teeth as they tried to rip her to pieces. Her gloved hand reached up cautiously to the line of her shoulder, about half way to her neck, and ran a finger down toward her chest. When her finger brushed right over what felt like small holes, she yanked her hand away with a hiss between her teeth.
No wonder she felt like she could still feel their teeth. Every bite and cut was still clearly there and radiating with pain. She forced her multi-colored eyes down the rest of her body as she took stock of her injuries. Holes littered her body. Her left leg, right arm and left shoulder seemed to be the worst.
The jester costume was torn, exposing her whole rust colored shoulder, the rip stopping just under her collar. ‘Wait what?..Oh..’ The gross rust color isn’t her skin. It’s dried, caked on, blood. It runs down the whole wound and darkens her costume where it made contact with the wound. She takes a deep steadying breath before lifting her mostly uninjured arm and using a finger to pull the clothing away from her body to peek at the wound more fully. It was a semi-oval line of jagged teeth marks, rust colored lines and blotches covering her pale white skin around each red angry little hole. ‘It doesn’t seem to be bleeding anymore…That’s something I guess..’ Pomni can’t even take in the shocking fact that she can see her skin under her clothes or that her costume is ripped. Stuff like that was never allowed in the circus. Probably because of Caine’s ‘fun for all ages’ rule. Blood wasn’t common either. Only ever in the adventures where horror took a front seat and Caine’s usual kiddy rules didn’t line up with the plot.
Pomni wrenches her eyes away and gently releases her costume. She only breathes out a shaky breath when the fabric comes back into contact with her skin. ‘The circus is good for something I guess… This would hurt way worse if it was real…’ Over the past year or so in the circus, suppressing digital pain had become a survival skill that Pomni reluctantly picked up. You can’t stop just cause you’re hurt, because the Circus will keep going and eat you alive.
She dragged her eyes down that same side to her leg. It didn’t look much better. It looked like there were fewer teeth marks, but this one was still bleeding a little. She watched the beading red coming from the wound for a while before determining that it wasn’t bleeding bad enough for it to be a huge problem right now. She can push past this. She wiggled her toes successfully and bent her knee to her chest. If she was lucky this one would completely stop bleeding soon. She took a deep breath before raking her eyes down her right arm. The pain there seemed to ebb in and out. It was like her arm couldn’t decide if it existed or not. When it went out, it was like her arm wasn’t there. The only thing confirming its existence was the faint buzzing in her hand, but when the pain came back… It was excruciating. It felt like her arm was still actively being torn to shreds, her skin burning as if it was trying to scorch whoever the offender was.
‘Okay... This one is bad..’ Deep red blood starts a few inches above her elbow and pours down to her wrist. Her glove is obviously soaked through and heavy on her wrist. The drip was so consistent, a small puddle had formed where she was laying just a second ago. If this was real life, Pomni isn’t sure she would've woken up from the amount of blood on her and the floor. She can’t see the wound at all but she can see unfamiliar dips and ridges on her arm that suggest the flesh under the blood is not a pretty sight.. She winced behind her teeth, curled in on herself and did her best to breath deep breaths as another wave of pain attacked her. It waved as if spurred on by her attention. Her forehead rested on her knees, still bent towards her chest and closed her eyes for a moment.
The pain was hard to snuff down, but at least it wasn’t constant. She makes a note to use those openings wisely. She also registers that there is no way she can move her arm. Her whole body is screaming at her to not even try to twitch a finger. It stayed limp at her side while she tried in vain to sort her thoughts. They almost immediately turned towards her concern for the other members of the Circus. She assumes Kinger was spared from the torture, but the other four were probably pulled in with her. Just like they were when she started her onslaught on Caine. They all joined in and followed her. Maybe if she would have said something different.. ANYTHING other than how she really felt about the ringmaster, this wouldn’t have happened.. Pomni felt tears well up behind her eyelids as her mind continued to circle that phase, the thoughts getting more and more hostile as they combed through her guilt.
Pomni is shocked from her status check turned spiral when other sounds break the buzzing in her ears. Whimpering, gasps, crying… She whips her head up and starts scanning the area. Her shoulder and neck screamed at the movement, eyes swimming for just a moment before she willed the pain to the back of her mind. Her eyes slowly adjust to the dim light. She gasps when she spots her sweet and gentle red haired friend about 7 feet to the right with large knives sticking out from her body. “Ragatha!” Her voice is hoarse and she regrets projecting like that immediately, but her own body’s discomfort takes a back seat to her friends. She carefully gets her legs under her. Luckily Pomni’s thin left leg easily supports her weight without much pain. Her useless right arm being purposefully left out of the action. Pomni didn’t miss how aware her body seemed to be of its fragility, but she didn’t have the time to figure out why right now.
As quickly as she can Pomni makes her way to Ragatha, eyes scanning her body's injuries as she moves. Ragatha stares up at the sky with her one good eye while laying on her back. Even if her button eye worked, it wouldn’t anymore, seeing as a large knife was inserted hilt deep in the button. She had two more in her. One in her left shoulder and another in her stomach. “Ragatha..” Pomni calls gently as she drops to her knees by the ragdolls' side.
Ragatha’s eye is frozen in a terrified wide look, mouth slightly parted as ragged gasps and whimpers escape it. It was as if she was still staring at whatever attacked her, frozen like a deer in headlights. The Jester could never imagine the horrors her friend must have seen and felt. The doll wasn’t always quick on her feet, but she’s never seen Ragatha completely locked up like this. Usually, cloth hands ringing and pulling on strands of yarn accompanied the doll in whatever stressful situation she was in, but now there was no movement other than her chest rising and falling. ‘It’s my fault.’
Softly, Pomni brings her good hand up to Ragatha’s cloth cheek and applies a little pressure to hopefully pull the doll out of whatever nightmare her mind was locked in. “Ragatha, It’s Pomni.. You’re okay.. You're safe..”
The doll's eye finally flicks off center to Pomni and it looks as if the doll's lungs are filled with oxygen for the first time in hours. Ragatha gasps in deep panicked breaths, her hand shooting up to her cheek to hold Pomni’s hand. Her eyes still look wild but they are at least focused on Pomni now. “P..Po..Pomni..”
Pomni gives her a relieved smile as she nods her head down to the red head. “Yes, Ragatha. I’m here…You’re in the circus…” Pomni isn’t sure if that's a comfort or not. “Take deep slow breaths for me. You’re hurt, so I gotta get it fixed okay?” The Doll can only respond in a whimper as she does her best to control her breathing.
Pomni registers other sounds of pain and fear around her. She lets her eyes roam around her for a moment. She spots Gangle not too far away curled up in a ball with her knees pulled to her chest crying. Her heart breaks for the marionette as she’s torn between Gangle and Ragatha, but Ragatha is definitely more hurt. She comes first. Pomni’s red and blue eye flicks to movement near Gangle, and she sighs with relief as she sees Zooble, seemingly okay, already making their way to Gangle. She doesn’t need to make the choice.
‘Okay… now all I'm missing is Kinger and.. Jax. Pomni’s eyes flick around the area with a little more urgency now. Kinger wasn’t with us so he’s probably okay and making his way here now, but.…where is Jax? Nothing usually keeps him down for too long..’ Pomni half expected to see him waltzing around the carnage any minute now, his usual cheshire grin only getting bigger as he takes in the state of the circus members. His smile only breaking while making cruel jokes and laughing at their expense. Her eyebrows pinched together at the thought. That’s definitely something Jax would do. At least, a few months ago he would, but with everything going on lately, he did seem…off..
Pomni couldn’t quite place it. He seemed more subdued, less confident and when he left during Kinger's lucid spill about Caine, Jax seemed really freaked out and flighty. Thinking back on it, he was already acting weird after the gun adventure. Well, if he was around, he acted normal, but he just wasn’t around as much. He’d come to breakfast later, sometimes straight up skip dinner. She had thought about checking on him or asking him if he was okay bu- “We were never friends.” Jax’s voice in her head shocked her out of those thoughts and into some different ones filled with more hurt, betrayal, and confusion.
She pulled the emergency breaks on her mind before it could get on the roller coaster that was that day and refocused. ‘Jax wouldn’t have run off right? No. He understands this is serious and he understands we are all in this together whether or not anyone likes it. Sure, Jax isn’t the most trust worthy, but he wouldn’t leave us like this.. He might not help us exactly, but he’d be here. Maybe he’s hurt nearby…bleeding like I am.. Or maybe… he didn’t make it out…’ Pomni’s eyes widened as a haunting truth became clear in her mind.
For the first time since waking up, she considered the possibility that something someone saw in that hellscape could cause them to abstract. The fear shook her body along with the realization that if it did, it would be her fault. She couldn’t lose anyone like that, especially not Jax. Pomni didn’t linger on why not Jax, it didn’t even cross her mind. Tears that threatened to fall stung at the corners of her eyes. ‘It’s all my fault..’ The tears finally broke the rim and a few streaked down her face. She wiped them away roughly before they fell on Ragatha’s cloth skin.
“Oh dear..” Pomni was startled by a voice not far behind her, turning her head toward the voice quickly. Kinger is there holding a disembodied hand over his nonexistent mouth. His eyes were just peeking under the bucket on his head as he looked at the sight of Pomni, Ragatha and all the other circus goers in sight.
“Oh Kinger…” Pomni’s tears fall faster at the sight of him. The cast member that has helped her out of tough and scary spots before. Kinger represented a feeling of safety only a father could, but for once this back fired.
The relief she felt released the flood gates of her emotions. Her concern. Her panic. Her guilt. “R-Ragatha’s hurt..! Gangle is over there! Z-Zooble is with them, but I don’t know if they’re okay..! And.. hic..God.. I-I don’t know where Jax is.” She is fully crying now as she relays the situation, throwing her good arm vaguely in Zooble and Gangle’s direction at their mention, all while looking up at Kinger pleadingly.
“I-I didn’t mean for this to happen..hic..I was just trying to distract Caine… he.. He..hic.. He was about to go looking for you, s-so I just said what I knew would keep his attention..I..I di-didn’t mean to..hic..It’s my fault!” Pomni sobs out before shaking her head violently, a few tears flying off her face at the speed. She can’t look at the chess piece anymore. Her guilt is too much and it feels like she doesn’t deserve the sympathy laced in his wooden expression.
She drops her head low to hopefully soften the feelings in her, but tears keep falling and so does her mind. ‘It's my fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault.’ Her pupils turned to messy squiggles. In her mind she kept seeing all her friends abstracting, asking why she would do this to them. Begging for her to fix it, but she never could.
An almost frustrated sounding cry breaks from her. She doesn't know what hurts more, the fact that she caused all of this to happen or the fact she still can't think of anything else she could have done to change the outcome. Pomni finally turns her attention back to Ragatha, her concern out matching her guilt for a moment. “I-I don’t know if I can take these knives out.. We aren’t resetting! W-what if I make it worse again..? I-If too much of her stuffing comes out..W-what if..” She only gets through a couple more what ifs before Kinger puts a grounding hand on her uninjured shoulder.
Her words catch in her throat as her eyes raise the chess piece’s. “You did good Pomni.. Please take a deep breath..” Pomni dragged in a shaky breath that was caught by a sob halfway through, but she continued, willing her nervous system to calm down. She did her best to focus on Kinger's lucid voice. This wise man had literally beat demons out of her and had given her good advice in the past. If he told her to breathe, she could at least do that for him. “Please don’t blame yourself.. We can help Ragatha and the others and find Jax. We focus on that right now..Okay?” Kinger’s voice is painfully gentle and almost sounds pained as he asks her not to blame herself. Pomni can’t place why. Is it her fault so..
She pushes those feelings and thoughts away for now while she closes her eyes and wills her lungs to take another deep breath. It comes out shaky but she’s not actively crying anymore. ‘We can help them.’ Pomni had to repeat that over and over until she was present enough to understand how. When she finally was, she opened her eyes, now more red than blue, and looked at Kinger to show she’s okay for now. Kinger takes it for what it was and removes his hand from her shoulder.
“Okay.. Now let’s see.” He closes his hands together, closes his eyes and a golden flash comes from between his palms. Pomni’s eyes widen as he separates his hands and a roll of gold duct tape lays in one of them.. Kinger doesn’t waste any time before explaining. “This is tape that can fix anything. It should fix any injuries we have including Ragatha’s stab wounds.”
His gaze drifts to Ragatha. Fatherly concern is evident in his eyes as he reaches over and brushes some chunky red yarn away from the doll's closed eye. He walks to the other side of her and crunches down as the ragdoll’s eyes open and look at him “Kinger…”
Kinger smiles at her with his eyes and taps the top of her hand gently. “Hey Ragatha. I’m gonna get you fixed up okay. You can keep resting. This might not be comfortable, but I’ll be as fast and careful as I can.” The doll barely manages to nod before seeming to doze off again. Pomni’s heart wretches at the exchange. She’s the one that caused Ragatha all this pain. ‘My fault.’
Pomni forces herself to take a deep breath before she spirals again. By the end of it, Kinger is speaking to her without looking up from Ragatha, his eyes examining the wounds for maybe the best place to start. “I’ll get her fixed up. You should go check on the other and find Jax if you can.”
At being given direction, Pomni is standing before Kinger even finishes speaking. His eyes flick up to her before widening. “P-Pomni wait! Your arm!” At this angle he can finally see the blood covering her forearm and soaking into her glove. Her arm screams as if being acknowledged gave it permission to.
Pomni hopes her face doesn’t show the amount of pain radiating from her arm, but figures ending this exchange quickly is the best way to guarantee that. She makes sure to not fully turn around just in case, body already facing her next destination, head turning just enough to see the eldest circus member. “O-oh! I’m fine, Kinger!” She forces out a little too quickly, doing her best to not bite her tongue as the pain fights to be at the forefront of her mind.
“Pomni we should re-” Pomni is already starting toward Zooble and Gangle and cuts him off. “I'm okay Kinger! Don’t worry. It doesn’t hurt that bad and I don’t feel weird from blood loss so I should be okay!” Pomni throws in a too happy lilt into her tone, but the old man isn’t convinced. Despite that, Kinger can only look after her in concern as she fully turns away and walks towards Gangle and Zooble.
Pomni can’t stop moving until she knows everyone is at least not in constant pain. Physical at least.. She can deal with the arm. She wasn’t exactly lying to Kinger… Just embellishing.. Even with the awful pain, now buzzing back into a void of feeling, it didn’t hurt as much as it did when she first woke up. The bleeding seemed to have calmed down a bit too. Now a drip drops off her glove every 5 or so seconds instead of every second. She still can't feel her hand very well and every line in her code is still screaming for her not to move her arm, but she can handle this for them.
By now she’s reached Gangle and Zooble. Gangle’s crying has died down to only little sniffles as Zooble holds the ribbon girl securely, albeit awkwardly, to her chest. Up close, Pomni can’t spot any obvious injuries to which she sighs quietly in relief. She leans down slightly to peer down at Gangle and Zooble. She only speaks after she’s sure Zooble spotted her so as to not startle the obviously emotionally raw couple. “Hey.. Are you guys okay..? Any injuries? Kinger is working on Ragatha right now..” Her voice is barely above a whisper.
She half expects Zooble to jump down her throat about how this situation is all her fault. How she deserves every bloody wound she has for dragging them into this.. But it never came. The angular character just looks worn out and sullen.
Pomni doesn’t see even a hint of anger in her eyes as Zooble shakes their head and rubs a claw hand up and down the ribbons back. “Gangle is a little shook up, but we are..” They stop themselves before the word ‘okay’ and clear their throat before they rephrase “We aren’t injured.”
Zooble’s eyes rake up and down Pomni quickly before turning back to Gangle to soothe a sob shuddering out of the ribbon girl. “You look like the one who needs medical attention.” Zooble’s bluntness hits the mark it was meant to even without looking at the jester.
Pomni shakes her head and keeps a calm smile on her face as she speaks. She hopes her voice doesn’t betray her as she tries to assure the toybox character. “I’m okay.. Looks worse than it is.. I have to make sure everyone else is okay then I'll get checked out.”
Pomni is turning away as she finishes. “I still need to find Jax. You guys stay nearby and stay safe.” She points back at them in a vague attempt to seem stern and in control before fully turning away and starting her search for Jax.