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“Fudgesicles!”
Grace snapped his hand away from the mould with a sharp hiss. He should’ve waited longer - the xenonite chain was nowhere near cool enough for him to be touching.
It was something he should’ve been used to by now. He and Rocky had been building chain for weeks in preparation for their fishing trip - the Eridian, of course, could complete his links much faster than the silly human could, but many hands (and claws) made light work. Besides, with the collector done and Grace’s calculations on trajectory finished, this was all that was left: making copious amounts of chain.
A painstaking, boring, and frankly soul-destroying process. Present Grace wanted to strangle Past Grace for whatever decision he decided to make to go on this god-forsaken voyage. It hadn’t exactly been butterflies and rainbows.
…of course, if he hadn’t, Present Grace would have never met an alien. A pretty cool one at that. With a…particular sense of humour.
Grace glanced up at Rocky as he shook his hand out. The Eridian was working hard on his half of the chain - he hadn’t even flinched at the sound of Grace’s indication of pain. Sensing his gaze, Rocky tapped his two back legs on the ground in a form of enjoyment.
‘Stupid human.’
Grace frowned. He almost missed the days when Rocky would skitter around, concern shaking his carapace. He would say something sweet, like;
‘Grace! Grace hurt?! Why Grace make noise, question?! Robot, Grace go to robot, robot fix leaky human!’
Grace didn’t get concern anymore. Just the mildly-amused chittering of a diva alien. He’d made Rocky completely immune to his moments of clumsiness due to how often these days they happened.
Just yesterday he had accidentally opened the laundry compartment and was reminded of the jumpsuit-turned-vomit-bag as it floated out in 0g, coating everything in a thin film of—
It didn’t really bear thinking about.
“It was hot.”
‘Rocky know is hot. Grace also know is hot. Grace touch anyway. Grace is using his boy-brain.’
Grace was regretting teaching Rocky about that. Actually, Grace was regretting teaching Rocky a lot of things these days, though he only had himself to blame. He was Frankenstein, and Rocky was the strange mineral monster he’d created.
“You’re particularly sassy today, you know that?”
‘Rocky know. Rocky good at the sass, statement.’
They delved back into silent chain-making for a long time after, before Rocky spoke up once again. Grace didn’t mind. There was something soothing about listening to those melodic hums.
‘Grace, question?’
“Hm? Yeah, bud? What’s up?”
‘The ceiling.’
“No— ahah, I meant…what’s your question?”
Rocky repositioned his claws, tilting his carapace in a way that Grace couldn’t help but find cute each time he did it.
‘What is new word?’
Grace wracked his brain for all the words he’d said in the last couple of minutes. None of them stood out as new though. They’d been needing the translator less and less these days.
“New word? Uhhh…which one, bud? I didn’t think I’d said any?”
‘Word that Grace exclaimed when you burned soft outer shell.’
“Skin, first of all. And….oh! You mean, ‘fudgesicles?’”
‘Yes, exclamation! This word, what does it mean, question?’
The human huffed a soft laugh in return. “It’s a replacement word for a swear word.”
‘New word.’
“Ah, crap…we haven’t gone over swear words yet?”
‘No, statement.’
Grace put down his chain to run his hand through his hair, a very light blush on his cheeks. How did someone who avoided using swears explain what they were to an alien? In fact, the only time Grace had actually exclaimed a swear word in the last five years (that he remembered) was when he realised ‘Blip-A’ was, in fact, an alien spaceship.
For his one time swearing, he gave himself (hah) some grace. Who wouldn’t swear at seeing an alien spaceship?
“It’s, uhhh…well, swear words are…”
‘Grace embarrassed.’
“No I’m not!”
‘Grace embarrassed, statement. Life-liquid pooling at cheeks.’
Great. So Eridians *could* hear a blush.
“Swear words are…words that are generally avoided except for certain situations. They’re…socially taboo, or unacceptable.”
‘Rocky understand. Eridians have this as well.’
Now that was damn interesting. Grace would blow up the Arctic again to listen to Rocky swear just once.
“Really?! Can you give me an example?” He asked excitedly, already pulling over the translator. What swear word should he use to mirror Rocky’s? He suppose he’d have to ask Rocky for some kind of numerical scale for how bad the swear word is so he could determine which human equivalent to—
‘No.’
Grace paused, his excitement deflating like a balloon.
“What?! Why not?”
‘Grace too young.’
He blinked. Too…young?
“I’m 32.”
‘Exactly. Grace just a pebble, statement. Too young to hear 🎵🎶🎵.’
Grace quickly input the missing word as, ‘swear word’ to cover up his disappointment for not receiving the real thing.
“You do remember when we talked about human lifespans? That I’m an adult for my age?”
‘Rocky remember. Rocky not have stupid human memory like Grace.’
“So—“
‘But Grace still young to Rocky. Grace not even born when Rocky begin space voyage. Rocky doesn’t feel right saying swear word in front of Grace.’
His carapace and legs crouched low so that the mass of his body was unmovable. Grace had learned to take that as a very literal translation for when Rocky wouldn’t budge on a particular topic.
‘Besides. Grace just say Grace use replacement word for swear word. So not even Grace use swear word, statement. Grace innocent like pebble. Rocky not offend.’
Grace sighed heavily. It was clear the Eridian wouldn’t be teaching any alien swear words today.
“…this is ball-pockey.”
‘Aha, exclamation!’
~~ Bonus ~~
Grace shifted nervously on his feet. He had had plenty of reasons to be nervous the past couple of months; was he going to make it home to Erid? Was his food going to run out before getting there? Were the Eridians going to accept him? Was the biodome going to support him?
But now, he was the most nervous he had ever been. He was meeting Adrian today.
The beach crunched, and he looked up. Rocky ran over, chittering excitedly, practically falling over his legs as he did so. Trailing significantly more calmly after Rocky (and picking him up when he fell) was another Eridian, much larger with a gorgeous turquoise carapace.
‘Grace! Grace friend, this is Adrian, Rocky mate!’ The excitable Eridian exclaimed when he was close enough, doing jazz hands to show off.
Grace smiled, forgetting that showing off his open food-hole was not the most reassuring greeting.
Adrian instinctively took a slight step back, before shrieking;
‘What the 🎵🎵🎶🎵 is that?!’