Chapter Text
When they arrived at The Globe they all stopped and just looked up for a minute. The arena was liberally festooned and draped with banners and flags inviting them to "Eurovision 2016 in Stockholm" and Steve could feel Peggy vibrating beside him, her hand gripping his forearm tightly.
Steve shifted the garment bag he had draped over his shoulder and that seemed to jar them back into motion towards the doors, Peggy and Edwin taking the lead with Steve, Lucy and Rebecca following along. Steve shook his head slowly as he followed Peggy and the rest in. When he’d taken the leap to move to the UK for art school a few years ago, he’d never have imagined in a million years he’d end up being swept along to Sweden for Eurovision of all things.
They showed their passes to security at the door and emerged into the flurry and bustle that encapsulated any backstage anywhere in the world, but larger and in more languages than Steve was used to. They looked up and down the hallways until Edwin snagged a volunteer.
“We’re looking for our dressing room. Peggy Carter, from the UK?” He gestured to Peggy who smiled and the young woman beamed.
“Miss Carter, of course!” She pulled out a map and pointed out their dressing room. “You’re on the other side of the lounge area, number 19.”
Peggy thanked her warmly and they followed her instructions, crossing through the open lounge space to another hallway of constructed dressing rooms. There weren’t many people here yet, but Steve could imagine how busy it was going to get over the next few days. He started feeling guilty in advance of how much room he took up – left over from being a small guy who still wasn’t entirely used to being big. As if the universe was reading his thoughts, he knocked someone with his shoulder as they passed him. He turned to apologise automatically.
He wasn’t sure if he’d bumped the slight redhead or her glowering companion so he just apologised to both of them. “I’m so sorry, wasn’t looking where I was going. You okay? I didn’t hit anything vital?”
She blinked at him and her friend (brother, bodyguard?) didn’t even move a facial muscle. Steve felt himself flush.
“Oh, man, Eurovision, right, uh, I shouldn’t assume everyone speaks English.” He was starting to flail a little mentally when the redhead cracked a half smile.
“It’s fine,” she said, her accent enough that Steve got a general Eastern Europe feel. “We’re fine, but thank you.” Her eyes flicked over him and he felt himself blush even more as she turned away with that half smile, her companion falling into step with her.
“Winter Soldier,” Edwin commented from behind him and Steve turned back around to see the entire group watching him.
“Sorry?”
“Winter Soldier,” Edwin said again, nodding at the departing duo. “The team from Russia. I think they’re married?”
“I thought they were brother and sister,” Peggy added as they started walked down the hall again, checking doors for their flag.
“No, that’s the Slovakian entry.”
“Here we are!” Lucy announced, spotting the flag and sign on the dressing room door that said United Kingdom and everyone smiled automatically. Peggy pulled out her phone and snapped a photo and Rebecca snapped one of her doing it before they opened the door, Peggy protesting Rebecca’s insistence on instagramming it right away.
Steve automatically went to hang up Peggy and girls’ costumes on the rack provided and fussed with it a little, shaking out the travelling wrinkles as best he could while Lucy and Rebecca set out makeup and hair supplies as well as a few little bits and pieces.
Edwin was sitting on the edge of the provided couch checking the schedule. “Peggy, you’ve got nothing more tonight, but media starts tomorrow as well as dress rehearsals, so I would suggest perhaps we all head back to the hotel and get some much deserved rest?”
Peggy and her two backup singers exchanged looks and they all nodded. “Yes, this was a drop off and poke around, honestly. Find the dressing room, drop off the costumes. I really just wanted to get a feel for the venue and not have to cart everything with us tomorrow.” Peggy shrugged. “I don’t think there’s much else for us to do?” Everyone else shook their heads. “Then let’s get back to the hotel. I’d very much like a soak in the tub and a glass of wine to help get rid of this jet lag.”
The next morning after his run, Steve met Peggy and the girls in the hotel restaurant for breakfast.
“I don’t know how you can be up and running so early, Steve, honestly.” Peggy took a sip of her coffee and closed her eyes in bliss. “Goodness, the Swedes do make wonderful coffee.”
Steve shrugged and drank some of his own coffee. “I like it, clears my head for the day.” He thought he saw the redhead from yesterday and her husband across the room before Peggy spoke again.
“I remember when you couldn’t have run up the stairs, much less ten kilometres.” Peggy took a bite of her eggs as Lucy and Rebecca eyed Steve and his broad shoulders with disbelief.
“Yeah, me too. Not my favourite thing to remember.” He shook his head as if to clear the memories of being a hundred pounds of weak asthmatic and Peggy let it go, instead talking choreography with the girls for the rest of the meal.
They got on the shuttle with a few of the other acts and met Pietro and Wanda, the brother and sister from Slovakia, as well as the bouncy girl from Belgium and Dami from Australia.
"Wait, Australia?" Steve asked and she laughed, throwing her head back.
"It's our second year," she explained good naturedly. "The first year we're competing in the semis, though, so the pressure's on."
The Globe was busier today, the teams from forty-odd countries running around, plus a few camera crews here and there.
"Media already?" Peggy asked as they made their way to the dressing room. She frowned, worrying her lip between her teeth. "I knew I should have done full makeup this morning. How much time do we have?"
Edwin was already in the dressing room when they arrived. "You have the press conference at 11:30 and a rehearsal slot at 1:00. Monty is arriving this morning and he'll be here this afternoon to go over the lighting and stage logistics with the Eurovision team."
Peggy nodded decisively. "Alright then, we'll get ready for the press conference. Steve which dress did we decide on?"
She was already reaching for the garment bag Steve held and Steve could tell her nerves were starting to kick in.
"I think the soft blue one," he said. "You're wearing red in the performance, so it's a nice contrast but the structure will keep it from looking too innocent and inauthentic in comparison to the performance dress."
She beamed at him as he pulled the dress out and started the steamer. By the time he'd finished, Peggy was in the chair and Rebecca was starting her makeup while Lucy was winding Peggy's hair into rollers. Edwin was on the phone on the couch and Steve felt very useless, just standing beside the cooling steamer.
"I'm going to go have a wander," he said, finally. Edwin waved at him and Peggy reached out, her eyes closed as Rebecca want over her face with a brush. He took her hand and she gave it a squeeze before letting him leave.
Once he was out of the dressing room, he felt almost as awkward, so he started walking until he reached the lounge. It was a large space with couches scattered around, a bar, and screens on the walls. It felt airy and was dotted with what looked like people in his position - important team members no one needed right now.
For lack of anything better to do, he wandered over to the bar and ordered a soda with lime. The bartender gave him a very big smile and Steve smiled back – was everyone in Sweden so friendly? He turned away and nearly collided with the redhead from Winter Soldier.
“I’m so sorry! You must think I’m stalking you. Or trying to take you out. I’m really not, I promise.”
She gave him that half smile again. “Are you Canadian?” she asked before ordering two bottles of water.
He blinked at her. “Sorry, what?”
“You apologise so much, naturally I thought you might be Canadian.” She arched an eyebrow at him as she leaned back against the bar.
“No, I’m American. I’m here with Peggy, from the UK, Peggy Carter. I designed her stage and costumes. And, I’m just polite,” he finished.
“Well, Just Polite from America, I’m Natalia Romanova, from Russia.”
“Steve Rogers.” He held out his hand and she shook it, her hand small in his, before collecting her water.
“Nice to meet you, Steve, maybe we’ll run into each other again.” She turned and strolled back to the couch where her partner sat with an older man in a suit, having what appeared to be an intense discussion. Natalia said something to him as she handed him the water and he looked up at her and then past her to Steve. Their eyes met and Steve smiled at him, hoping the guy wasn’t going to think Steve was trying injure, or worse, make a move on his partner. The Russian gave him a twitch of a smile before his attention was pulled back to the conversation.
Steve moved away from the bar, finding himself a vacant couch to settle into. He pulled his tablet out of his bag and refused to feel guilty about googling Natalia Romanova.
According to all the pre-Eurovision media and buzz, she was twenty-seven and a former ballerina from Moscow. A serious, lived at the school since she was six ballerina, and one of the articles had a photo of what looked like a teenaged Natalia in a tutu and severe bun, up on one toe. She had apparently made the move to music a few years ago, breaking away from the strict life of a dancer and bringing James Barnes with her. Nowhere in the media did it say they were actually married, but all the photos of their performances and the promotional photos showed them holding each other or gazing into each other’s eyes as they sang.
There wasn’t a lot on James Barnes, other than the Eurovision details. Singer, musician, also a former ballet dancer. He didn’t seem to speak much in interviews and there wasn’t much else online other than his work with Natalia, including their ballet history. Also lived in Moscow, despite not having a very Russian sounding name. Really good looking. In the ballet photos, his hair was much shorter and he was clean shaven, his cheekbones sharp. Now, his hair brushed past his chin, pale eyes piercing even in a photo, and he wore stubble well. Steve closed the tab when he realised he’d been staring a little too long at James in the photo of him and Natalia on the Eurovision page. Steve was comfortable enough in his bisexuality to recognise when he’d been checking a guy out, but it felt weird to be doing it when said guy was in the same room.
Reflexively, he looked up and noticed two things. One, he’d picked a couch that was directly across the room from Winter Soldier’s and two, James Barnes was looking at him with those gorgeous eyes. He just had time to notice before the older man barked something at James, who jerked back to his conversation, ducking his head. Steve watched him for another second as his face hardened and his shoulders hunched – clearly whatever the older man was saying was not pleasant – before turning back to his tablet to give them some privacy.
Steve spent the next hour alternating between catching up on emails, updating Facebook and watching the people come and go around him. He’d pulled up the Eurovision website on his tablet and tried to match people to their photos. When Freddie from Hungary came in with his people there were appreciative noises and again when Thor from Norway departed for what Steve assumed was his media call. Steve had to double take – that was one very attractive guy and no amount of flannel could diminish it. His televote numbers would probably be very good no matter how he sounded, the cynical part of Steve’s brain supplied.
When Peggy came out in time for her media, he stood automatically to greet her. She looked beautiful every day, but dolled up Peggy was something special. The blue wrap dress he’d designed fit her beautifully and he was so glad they’d decided to carry her vintage performance look into all her outfits this weekend. He kissed her cheek, careful of her makeup, and followed her and Edwin out to the media room.
The group of interviews before them was still going on and there was a boom of laughter that rolled down the hall before they even reached the room. As they entered, it was apparent that the laugh was Thor – appropriate that his laugh matched the rest of him.
“Goodness, Steve, his arms might actually be bigger than yours,” Peggy whispered. “I never thought I’d see the day.” Steve nudged her and she nudged him back before Edwin was directing her over to the side to wait for her turn.
Steve crossed and uncrossed his arms, self-conscious now. It had been pointed out to him a few times since he’d bulked up that he was overcompensating for his teenage years, but it wasn’t like that, at least not consciously. After the clinical trials he’d volunteered for that led to his health improving and asthma clearing up, Steve had enjoyed that he could run and exercise and push his body to limits that could have actually killed him ten years ago. He loved running and boxing and testing his bench press, and his body had followed suit.
He snapped himself out of his reverie as Peggy was introduced and clapped enthusiastically with the small crowd. She was witty and charming and he loved that they loved her. She had finished answering something about her musical inspirations when the next question for the other singers at the long table came.
“This is for Natalia and James, Tom from SBS Australia. Your staging is quite dramatic and the song is intense and romantic – can you tell us more about it?”
Steve finally looked at the rest of the table. Sure enough, the Russians were at the far end with the adorable Belgian from the shuttle between them and Peggy. This was getting ridiculous.
Natalia leaned in to the microphone. Her accent sounded thicker than earlier as she answered. “It’s about the bond between two people that is so strong it can last through anything and everything, even when people try to tear you apart.” She and James exchanged a smile and the next question came for Laura from Belgium.
Steve watched as James exhaled, his eyes sweeping the room disinterestedly until he landed on Steve. His gaze stopped on Steve and Steve smiled for lack of a better reaction at being caught watching someone and really, really hoped he didn’t come off as a creeper. James gave a half smile back and Natalia actually turned her head to look at him before her eyes followed James's eyeline until she reached Steve. She pressed her lips together, but a smile lurked around the corners and she muttered something to James. The small smile fell off his face and he resumed his neutral expression. Steve felt his own smile fade and he dropped back to the back of the room to wait out the rest of the press conference.
Peggy went straight from the press conference back to the dressing room to change for rehearsal and Steve offered to do a lunch run. She gave him the most grateful look and he took a list of everyone’s orders, coming back with a tower of salads and sandwiches.
They ate where they could find space in the small dressing room, Peggy in the makeup chair in her dressing gown and leggings, the girls and Edwin on the couch and Steve sat on the floor, leaning against the wall.
“What’s this with the Russians, Steve? Have you made friends with the enemy?”
Steve flushed all the way to his hairline and he wasn’t even sure what for. There was no way she could have known he’d found James attractive, even if it mattered. “What, Peg, no. I nearly ran Natalia down, again, and we said hello, introduced ourselves. Then they were at your presser, too.”
Peggy hummed around her fork. “I see. So the way they both watched you at the end of the press conference was, what, to make sure you didn’t fall on Natalia this time?”
“Peggy!”
She just shrugged and set her finished lunch down, turning to the vanity to touch up her makeup. Sometimes it was rough when your ex girlfriend was also your best friend and knew you better than anyone else.
Half an hour later, someone with a headset and a stack of papers knocked on the door to collect them for their rehearsal time and lead them through the twists and turns of the arena to reach the stage. When they entered, Peggy sucked a breath in and the girls went silent. The stage was half lit, but it looked incredible and the arena was massive. Peggy reached for Steve’s hand and held it tightly for a moment. He squeezed back and she squared her shoulders and let go, heading for the stage.
“Come on girls, mustn’t waste our time.”
The stage manager came over and they worked out microphone placements and where the girls would stand. As the girls walked through blocking some choreography with the new space, Steve saw Monty jogging towards him.
“Well, I’ve got good news and I’ve got less good news, chap.”
Steve winced. The ways in which things could go wrong with this highly technical set up were too many to name. “Okay, go ahead.” He was already reaching for his tablet to start fixing the design if he needed to.
“Good news is the lighting and effects are all loaded into the system and they look really spectacular. You’ve outdone yourself, Steve.” He clapped Steve on the back, but Steve was waiting for the bad news. Monty’s moustache twitched. “Stark’s here.”
“What? What’s Tony doing here?” Steve looked around, expecting to see Tony striding through the arena already.
“Stark Industries designed the new holographic screens they’re using this year.” Monty explained, tucking his hands into his pockets
“Yes, but why is Tony here?” Steve ran his hand through his hair.
“I think Pepper wanted to come, what with Peggy here.”
“Alright, can’t do anything about it now. Just make sure if the screens, I don’t know, decide to start shooting lasers you’ll let me know?” Monty nodded and headed back to the lighting board and the technicians. Steve gave his hair one more yank and decided to be calm about it. He’d tell Peggy later, let her focus now.
“Alright, let’s try it from the top,” yelled the stage manager. He spoke into his headset and the lights went to black. Steve could just barely see Peggy and the girls getting into position and then the lights hit.
He’d worried about the warm colours being too much, if the red of Peggy’s dress wouldn’t work somehow, but when the music started and the colours streaked across the stage it felt exactly like it had when he'd first designed the concept. Even in their casual clothes Peggy and the girls looked wonderful, lit and highlighted perfectly. He still had his tablet out and jotted a few notes as they ran through the number - tightening up the spotlight and slowing down the run of one of the light passes. When they finished there was scattered applause from the people watching and a few of the other artists and Peggy was smiling broadly.
"That felt wonderful, how did it look? Edwin, did you tape it?
Edwin held up his phone in answer and she tried to Steve. "Darling, how was it?"
"Gee, Peg, I think it was pretty swell." She laughed and he gestured with his tablet. "I want to make one or two changes with Monty, and then can you run it again?"
He left her watching back the video on Edwin's phone and met the production team with Monty. They made the adjustments he was looking for and he headed back out to watch Peggy start again.
His foot was tapping all the way through and even though he knew every word, and probably most of the dance moves, he was absorbed. Peggy never looked happier than when she was performing. Even when they'd been together he had never been able to make her look like that and he counted himself lucky that they'd realised they weren't meant to be soon enough to salvage their friendship and it had grown into something they hadn't expected.
When the song finished this time, there was applause again and the girls left the stage to let the Norwegians have their turn. Peggy stopped to have a word with the stage manager and Steve started making his way over to the door.
Out of the corner of his eye he caught some movement and turned to see James holding Natalia above him, her back arched away and forming an arc. They held the pose for a second and then he flexed and she spun and dropped into his arms. They held that for a beat before she swung away, then back into his arms before she nodded and pulled back. It had the perfunctory moves of stepping through choreography, but the grace was still evident from both of them.
And James's arms. Steve dragged his eyes away from the muscles very visible in the sleeveless shirt James wore, but that wasn't an image that was going to leave him soon. Plus, now he knew James had a tattoo of a red star on his left bicep, which wasn’t helping matters.
This was getting out of control - he felt guilty for this crush he was getting on an unsuspecting guy, who may be married and was actively in competition with Peggy.
As if summoned by the thought, Peggy found him. She was still radiant with her happiness and it was easy to put his arm around her and head back to the dressing room, talking performance details and staging and dissecting every moment with her.
Later that night, back at the hotel, Steve lay sideways on Peggy's bed while she painted her toenails on the couch. Lucy and Rebecca were down in the hotel bar with some of the other backup singers and dancers they'd met so far and Edwin was in the room he and Steve were sharing, probably making a million phone calls and skypeing Mrs Jarvis.
"What's on your mind, Steve?"
Steve raised his head from where he'd been dangling it off the side of the bed. "What? Nothing's on my mind."
Peggy gave him a raised eyebrow and painted another nail.
"Seriously, nothing is wrong." Steve sat up. "Can't a guy want to spend the evening with his best girl?" At Peggy's look he laughed. "Really, we've got a free day tomorrow until the opening ceremony, so I'm looking forward to wandering around a bit with you and having some fun."
Peggy side-eyed him but went back to scrutinising her toenails.
“Oh, I forgot to tell you, Monty told me Tony’s here.”
At his words Peggy nearly knocked over the polish bottle.“What? What is Stark doing here?”
Steve shrugged from his sprawl on the bed. “Apparently Pepper wanted to come to support you. Plus SI designed the screens everyone is using this year.”
“Pepper’s here? Darling, I think that’s what you should have lead with.” Capping the nail polish, Peggy reached for her phone and tapped out a message, presumably to Pepper, before tossing it on the bed. “That’s so lovely of her. I just never thought she’d get Tony to come to, what was it he said ‘A rainbow and glitter-strewn tribute to the death of real music’?” Peggy’s lips twisted as she picked up the nail polish to finish her toes.
“Aw, Peg, you know that Tony wants you to do well. He’s just... ”
“Thoughtless and prone to trampling on the wants and needs of others?”
Steve grimaced. “Well, I was going to say emotionally stunted, but you’re not wrong.” He sighed. “I haven’t even seen him yet and Pepper knows what this means to you, she’ll keep Tony in line.”
Peggy rolled her eyes but smiled. “She’d bloody well better.”
The next night, the car pulled up to the Ericsson Globe and the crowds lining the red carpet. The driver opened the door and Steve slid out to help Peggy while Rebecca and Lucy let themselves out the other side with Edwin.
Peggy slid out and took Steve’s proffered hand as she stepped onto the red carpet. She was pure vintage glamour in another dress Steve had designed and he couldn’t help smiling at her, dazzled again. Her hair was curled softly and arranged in some complicated way that Steve couldn’t understand, the gold dress hugging her curves before it parted at the slit above her knee and swept the floor.
“Peggy, you’re a knockout.”
She smoothed her hand across his lapel as she tucked her other hand into the crook of his arm. “You clean up pretty nicely yourself. I think I’m glad you went with the navy, everyone’s already going to think you’re the attraction tonight, not me.”
Steve ducked his head and chuckled. Peggy had been pushing for him to go with a suit in a brighter blue, but he was perfectly happy to be a background player in Peggy’s big break. “Hey now, I’m just here to be your arm candy. Trophy… artist?” She laughed with him and let him lead her down the long red carpet but soon let go of his arm to go along the barriers and take photos and sign autographs. Rebecca and Lucy went on ahead to the party inside with Edwin, but Steve dawdled along behind her as she did interviews with different countries, posed for press photos and drew her half of the show for the Grand Final.
“Second half,” she repeated to Steve as they finally climbed the stairs to the party. “I’m not sure it that’s good or bad. Time to prepare and get ready, but too much time?” She exhaled and Steve rested his hand over hers on his arm.
“You’re going to be amazing, no matter where you perform. Don’t think about it now, enjoy the party you are a guest of honour for and let’s try some Swedish booze.” She laughed and let him draw her into the party. They found Edwin and the girls, and some of the excellent Swedish wine and beer, and started mingling and meeting some of the other countries’ representatives.
Steve was listening to Peggy and the girl from Croatia - Nina, he was pretty sure - talk about their nails with half an ear when a flash of red caught his eye and Natalia glided up to him, James following in her wake like a grumpy cat. She looked stunning with a sharp edge to her beauty and Steve couldn’t tell if her designer loved her or feared her. Possibly both. Her hair was pushed back in a slick fall and her backless dress was fitted perfectly, black with red lines across it like slashes that disappeared into the skirt.
“Steve.” She put her hands on his arms and leaned in to kiss both his cheeks, like they were friends. “I don’t think you met James before. James Barnes, Steve Rogers.”
James stepped forward, reaching out his hand and Steve tried not to swallow his tongue or drop his glass as he shook it. He’d thought James was good looking earlier, casual and slouched in the lounge, but dressed in a crisp white shirt with the sleeves rolled up over his forearms and a grey vest he was devastating. “Nice to meet you,” he managed without incident.
“And you,” James replied, his low voice practically accent-less. Before Steve had time to think about that, Peggy had turned to them, Nina having since moved on to other people.
“And this is Peggy Carter,” Steve introduced. “The UK sensation stealing the hearts of a nation.” Peggy gave him a flick on the shoulder and reached out to shake Natalia’s hand.
“Natalia Romanova. And this is James. We’re Winter Soldier, from Russia.”
“Yes, yes of course you are. Steve’s told me he ran into you. I didn’t quite realise he was being so literal about it at first.” Peggy smiled and shook James’s hand when he offered it. “I’m very much looking forward to your performance, everyone is saying wonderful things about your song.”
"Thank you,” Natalia said, eyeing Peggy and Steve with an assessing look that made Steve feel like he was being measured for something. Peggy was eying her back and Steve looked at James, wondering what was going on between them. James met his gaze with stunning blue eyes and an equally puzzled look and gave him a one shouldered shrug.
“Steve is this one of your designs?” Natalia asked. “It’s really beautiful. He mentioned he designed your costumes,” she said to Peggy.
Peggy beamed, smoothing her hand over the dress. “Yes, it is. He’s really got the most wonderful eye for colours and design, I’m so lucky to have him.”
“You are. Our designers can be a little… heavy handed with the interpretations. There’s a lot of black,” Natalia admitted with a smirk. “How did you catch him?” she asked casually, taking a glass of wine off a tray going past.
Steve blushed and noticed Natalia watching their reactions through her lashes as she sipped. Peggy just laughed. “We met in university, actually. Steve was an art major and I was at the Conservatory and we artsy people have a tendency to drift together. We dated for, goodness, how long Steve?”
“Six months,” Steve managed, still a little flustered and feeling like there was a second conversation happening that he just wasn’t getting.
“Six months and we realised that while he’s wonderful, he’s not my wonderful, nor was I his. After some soul searching on both our parts, we decided that we were too good to let go of entirely and formed the Eurovision conquering team you see before you.” Peggy wrapped her arm through Steve’s and squeezed him. “Steve has been designing all my costumes and staging and posters for the last few years. He’s also been responsible for setting me up on some truly awful blind dates.”
“Hey,” Steve protested. “They weren’t all bad.”
“Steven, Johann had three drinks, turned a violent shade of red and nearly punched the waiter. Over the dessert menu.”
“Hey, yours haven’t been much better.” Steve was vaguely aware that Natalia and James were watching them with great amusement but he was starting to feel more relaxed now that Peggy and Natalia weren’t circling each other.
“I admit, Brock was more meathead than expected, but Sharon was lovely.”
“She’s your cousin.” Steve rolled his eyes and caught Natalia elbowing James in the side as they laughed with Peggy, but they were interrupted when Lucy and Rebecca came rushing up to the group.
“We met Mans!”
“He’s so lovely and terribly handsome.”
Everyone else swivelled their heads around and Steve saw where last year’s winner and this year’s host was chatting with a fairly large group of people. Turning back the group of them looked at each other and laughed.
Natalia sighed. “James and I should be getting back to circulating. Our manager wants us to be making connections.” She made a little moue of disappointment and drained her glass. “It was lovely to meet you Peggy. We’ll see you later, yes?”
Peggy smiled back at her as if the tension from before hadn’t existed. “Absolutely.” They kissed cheeks and Natalia kissed Steve’s as well before James nodded to them both and they walked off, speaking Russian to each other.
“What was that about?” he asked Peggy.
She gave him a smile and took a sip of her wine. “Nothing, darling.”
Before he could press her further, someone else came up to introduce themselves and they spent the next few hours making the rounds, meeting the other singers, dancers and performers from across Europe.
After a while, Steve managed to excuse himself from Peggy’s circle and wandered off to get another drink. He was heading for the bar and saw Natalia leaning against it. James was nowhere in sight and she was tapping absently on an empty glass. “What’s a nice girl like you doing in a giant party like this?” he asked and she laughed as he ordered a beer. He gestured to the glasses as they were set in front of her. “What are you drinking?”
"I'm Russian, what do you think?" She held up a glass of vodka. "They even had some of the good stuff. The whiskey is for James. Actually," she paused, so casually Steve was instantly suspicious, "do you think you could take this over to James? He's taking a bit of a break from the party in the lobby and I really need to speak to Stefan." She patted his arm and strolled away, leaving the tumbler of whisky beside Steve's beer and Steve staring after her.
His mother had raised a considerate son, though, so Steve picked up the whiskey and his beer and headed through the glittering crush to the quiet on the other side.
He spotted James on one of the couches in an alcove, almost hidden behind a low wall and well away from the foot traffic. James's head was leaning back over the back of the couch and he had his right arm resting across his eyes. Steve slowed his approach and set the glass on the table with a clink.
“Спасибо, Natasha,” James said, not moving.
“Uh, sorry, not her?” Steve fidgeted and James removed his arm, looking up at Steve standing awkwardly beside the couch. “Hey.”
“Hey,” James echoed.
“Natalia asked me to bring this over, she had to talk to someone?” Steve could feel himself flushing, he wasn’t sure what Natalia was doing but any minute James was going to be tired of running into Steve and tell him to fuck off and let him have the quiet he was after.
James smirked. “That girl.” He reached for his drink and took a sip, leaning his elbows on his knees. “You can sit down if you want. It gets a bit much in there, hey?”
Steve smiled, relieved, and sat down on the other end of the couch from James, setting his beer on the low table. “It really does. I’m not a great party person; it gets hot and crowded at these things and I’d just rather be somewhere else, preferably quiet.”
James nodded, taking another swallow of his drink and Steve’s eyes followed the glass to his mouth for a moment before he tore his eyes away. “Me too. But, our manager wants us visible and making friends, so here we are. Natalia’s so much better than I am at being charming. I used to be good at but I… lost my taste for it a while back.”
Steve saw his gaze darken and hastily changed gears. “I’m still getting used to not being stepped on, or misplaced in the crowd.” James eyed him with disbelief and Steve smiled, continuing. “I can’t tell if I miss being ignored or not.”
James outright laughed, which made Steve grin. “I can’t imagine anyone ignoring you.” James’s eyes travelled up and down Steve, who reached for his own drink now, swallowing past the warm feeling growing in his chest.
“It’s true. Five years ago I was a hundred pounds soaking wet, a lot shorter and a hell of a lot sicker. I lucked into a medical trial that turned things around for me, but it’s hard to forget those feelings.”
James looked at him again, but thoughtfully this time. “So you must have gone through a lot of clothes.”
Steve laughed, remembering the frustration of shirts splitting at the seams and too-short pants for weeks. “Buddy, you have no idea. I gave up on new clothes for a while and just thrift shopped until my body settled down. My work barely recognised me for the first week.”
James took another sip and settled back against the cushions. “What’s your work?” he asked and he actually looked interested.
“Did Natalia tell you I'm an artist? I work for Stark Industries as a designer.”
“In London?”
“Yeah, sort of. I worked in the New York HQ for a while, but when I went to college in the UK they were good enough to transfer me to the London office. I work from a home a lot, though. It’s nice. Although when I was in New York I used to work with Tony Stark and if you’ve heard even a third of the stories about him you’ve only got a tenth of the picture.” Steve finished the rest of his beer and glanced over at James, finally looking relaxed, and took the leap. “Tell you what, let me grab us another drink and I’ll tell you about the time he decided an entire project needed redoing three days before the deadline and we had an argument in the middle of the office. Before I was this size.”
The smile James gave him was much wider than before and he drained the last of his drink. “I think I’d like that.”
An hour and two more drinks later, Steve was listening to James describe a lift he and Natalia had been trying (he called her Natasha, which was apparently the Russian nickname for Natalia) and how many times James had almost dropped her, but he kept getting distracted by the way James was leaning into Steve’s side just a little and how the muscles in his forearms flexed as he lifted his arms while he spoke. James had opened the top two buttons of his collar at some point and their knees were touching and their shoulders kept brushing and it was all starting to drive Steve a little crazy.
Feeling warm, he pulled off his already loosened tie and stuffed it in his pocket, opening the top button of his shirt. James’s eyes followed his hand and he trailed off, leaving his sentence unfinished. Steve’s heart pounded; maybe he wasn’t totally off base here. Steve exhaled and saw James’s eyes move up from his chest to settle on his lips. He leaned in a little more, turning to face the other man and James’s gaze snapped up to his eyes.
“Listen, tell me if I’m out of line, but would it be okay if I...” Steve couldn’t get the words out, his heart beating so hard he was sure James could hear it, so he slowly leaned in further, making sure James had room to move away or stop him, until he kissed James, just softly.
He pulled back, or tried to, but James stopped him with a hand on his jaw and pressed in further to kiss him back. Steve let him deepen the kiss, running his hand up and down James's arm as he let himself get lost in the feeling of James's mouth on his. His hand travelled up to rest on James's neck, thumb sweeping along his jaw as Steve bit at James's bottom lip and James made a low noise in his throat.
Long moments later they broke apart, breathing heavily, and James rested his forehead on the side of Steve's neck, his hand sliding off Steve's cheek to rest on his arm. Steve let his fingers keep stroking across James's jaw, curving to slide his fingers through the hair at the back of James's neck. He wasn't sure what to say next, his chest was full of a bubbling warmth and he felt like could have stayed like this with James for hours.
James lifted his head and looked at Steve. His smile was warm and open, softer than Steve had seen it yet and Steve couldn't help but smile back. James opened his mouth to speak, but the click of high heels on the lobby tiles had him sitting up and pulling out of Steve's arms just as Natalia came around the low wall.
Her eyes flicked from Steve to James, taking in their rumpled states, and her eyes widened knowingly. She turned her head back the way she came and her features changed. She let out a bright laugh and gestured loosely with her wine glass. "Alexei, I found him, he's just sitting here talking to Steve." She turned back and met James's eyes steadily, even as her body language read relaxed and unconcerned, and Steve was fascinated even as he saw James's face lose its easy light. James ran his hand through his hair and reordered his shirt and vest as Natalia continued in that bright voice. "Мой дорогой, Alexei has been looking for you everywhere and I knew you had to be here somewhere." She laughed again as the older man Steve had seen with them earlier came around the wall.
"There you are," he said jovially, but Steve didn't like the hard look in his eyes as he took in the two of them, now sitting with a foot of space between them on the couch. He sounded American and reminded Steve strongly of the tough Olympic level coaches. "James, you can't be neglecting Natalia like this, you're a team. Besides, how are you going to meet any of the other artists if you're hiding here with..?" He turned to Steve, who took his cue from Natalia and put a smile on his face.
He stood and offered his hand. "Steve Rogers, I'm with Peggy Carter from the UK. James found me here when the crowd got too much for me and was nice enough to sit with me until I started to feel better." Peggy has always said they were lucky he didn't realise how charming he was or he could lead an army, and right now he was giving it his all. He didn't really know why, but James and Natalia's reactions were enough to go along with until he could get to the bottom of it.
"Alexander Pierce, I'm Winter Soldier's manager." Pierce shook his hand. "I met Peggy earlier, she's a lovely woman and so talented. But, I'm terribly sorry, I'm going to have to take James back and get him to do his job." Pierce gave a chuckle that set Steve's teeth on edge as James stood up and brushed past Steve to stand beside Natalia. "So much different for the performers, you understand."
Steve kept smiling. "Of course, of course. James, thanks again, I appreciate it." He put his hands in his pockets, trying to project affable American and ignore the knot forming his his stomach.
James nodded back with a closed-off half smile. "Anytime. Nice to run into you again."
Natalia laughed gaily and kissed both his cheeks. "And Peggy and I made breakfast plans for tomorrow morning, so we'll see you then. Good night, Steve!" She looped her arm through James's and the three of them headed back into the party.
Once they were out of sight, Steve sank back onto the couch and rested his head in his hands.
When Steve walked into the lobby after his morning run, his phone reconnected with the hotel wifi and a message popped up.
Peggy: Don't forget, we're having breakfast with Natalia and James. Shower and meet us in the dining room at nine. And wear the white shirt, you know the one I mean.
He shook his head and headed for the elevators. His stomach did a flip at the thought of seeing James again, after their kiss and how everything had finished last night. He was saved from dwelling further when the elevator doors opened and people poured out past him, chattering in a myriad of languages. A few of them gave Steve appraising looks and he was uncomfortably aware of how he was sweating, his running shirt clinging to him. Natalia and James came off the elevator, of course because this was how his life went now, and Steve couldn't decide if he was amused or embarrassed at how they both looked a bit stunned. He couldn't help hoping that at least James thought he looked good, sweaty as he was.
Natalia pulled her face back to a pleasant neutral and managed a smile for him as she grabbed James by the elbow and dragged him with her, commenting in Russian. It took Natalia another tug of James's arm before he turned his attention away from Steve and when he glanced back one more time Steve gave him a smile as he got in the elevator and pushed the button for his floor.
Fifteen minutes later, he was showered, dressed and the clock was telling him it was 9:02, so Steve took a last look at his hair before grabbing his keys and wallet and heading down to breakfast. He watched his reflection in the elevator mirror and hoped this was the white shirt Peggy had meant - it was just a white t-shirt that might have been a bit on the snug side, but he trusted her and had grabbed his navy jacket because he remembered her commenting on that combination. Peggy waved to him the minute he stepped into the dining room and he weaved through the tables to the seat they'd left for him beside her. It was also across from James and Steve found himself arrested by James's eyes.
"Hey," he said to James as he sat down, a little more breathless than he'd intended.
"Hey," James returned, his smile wide and intimate.
"Coffee, Steve?" Peggy held up the carafe, her eyes glinting wickedly as she reminded him they weren't alone.
Abashed, Steve nodded. "Thanks. Good morning Peg, Natalia."
"Another ten klicks this morning, Steve?" Peggy asked as she filled his coffee cup. "Did you also stop and lift a car off a little old lady?"
Steve rolled his eyes at her while Natalia and James chuckled.
"We saw him this morning, I wouldn't have been surprised at all." Natalia looked at James. "I bet Steve would be marvellous at that lift we were trying the other day."
"The one you told me about last night?" Steve asked James, who nodded, seeming surprised that Steve remembered. "I don't know, I'd probably still fall over my feet and drop you anyway." Everyone laughed together and Steve stood up. "I'm getting some food. Do you want anything else from the buffet?" Everyone declined, the three of them still having half full plates, so Steve loaded up his plate and headed back.
The smile Natalia was giving him over her own coffee cup as he sat down matched Peggy's and Steve found himself growing worried. "I was just telling Peggy about forgetting to get my nails done before the Semi tomorrow and she mentioned that she wanted to get hers done, too."
"Nina, you remember Nina from last night, she was telling me about a place her friend recommended in town so Natalia and I are going to go there this afternoon. Steve, you'll be alright on your own, won't you? Perhaps you and James can keep each other company?" Peggy forked up a piece of fruit and returned Steve's suspicious look with an arched eyebrow.
"I'm sure James has better things to do than be stuck with me for the day," Steve protested. Part of him was howling at his mouth to shut up because spending the day with James sounded amazing and the other half was mortified at the ladies' machinations.
"Nah, sounds good to me, actually." Steve looked over at James to see a cocky grin forming. "I got my nails done last week, so I'm set."
Steve chuckled as his stomach swooped and his brain celebrated. "As long as you're sure. I'd hate to keep you from looking your best for tomorrow."
James leaned back, gesturing to himself. "Hey now, it's a bit hard to improve upon perfection." He looked so at ease and confident and Steve was hit with a punch of want that had him stuffing some egg into his mouth so that he didn't do something dumb like tell James just how perfect he was.
Peggy and Natalia started talking about something, Steve couldn't tell what because James kept giving him those gorgeous smiles as they finished breakfast and it felt like it had narrowed down to the two of them again.
Finally, though, everyone was finished and they wandered out to the lobby to split up. Peggy leaned in to kiss his cheek and Natalia did the same to James before they strolled off together. "Have fun, darlings!" Peggy called as she put on her sunglasses.
Steve looked at James and James looked at him. "Uh, so what did you want to do?" Steve asked.
"Oh no, we're not getting stuck in this loop," James said. "We're both tourists, there's got to be some touristy stuff we can do. Anything you had plans to see?"
Steve shrugged. "I was interested in the Moderna Museet, the contemporary art gallery, but I'm an artist so that was pretty much a given. What about you?"
"Gallery sounds good. It's more than the nothing I had planned, so let's go."
Steve had actually looked into going the Moderna Museet, so it wasn't difficult to get to the ferry that would take them to the island the museum was on. They leaned up against the railing of the ferry, shoulders pressed together, watching the city float by. Steve kept stealing glances at James and the way the wind was tossing his hair around, but either he was less covert than he thought or James was doing the same, because the next time he snuck a look James was looking back at him. He flushed and James just smiled and pressed his shoulder against Steve's a little more.
The museum was beautiful and they drifted from paintings to installations to sculptures over the rest of the morning. James listened to Steve talk about styles and colour and added his own observations, which just made Steve beam at him. They stopped for a snack and coffee at the museum's cafe after a few hours and snagged a table out on the deck.
"You stay here with the table, what do you want?" James said, gesturing back to the counter.
"Just a coffee, cream and sugar. Maybe a slice of pie if they've got it?" Steve shifted to pull out his wallet but James stopped him with a hand out.
"Nah, my treat."
"Are you sure? I've got kroner..." He trailed off at the smile James was giving him.
"Let me buy you a coffee, Steve." There was warmth and weight to his voice that reminded Steve of last night, so he smiled back.
"Okay, then I definitely want pie."
James laughed and tossed him a lazy salute as he headed back in and Steve exhaled, leaning back in his chair. He was now absolutely sure Natalia and Peggy had arranged this whole day and was almost as sure that James was okay with it. Last night had ended oddly, but Steve just kept his mental fingers crossed that he wasn't mistaking the signals James was giving him.
James was winding his way back to the table with two plates and a table number and he dropped into the seat across from Steve after setting them down. There was a slice of pie and a piece of chocolate cake with two forks. "I realised I didn't ask what kind of pie you liked so I got the cake, too." James leaned back, shrugging nonchalantly, but Steve recognised the nervousness underneath it. Oddly, that made him feel better.
"Looks great." He picked up one of the forks and dug into the pie, gesturing for James to do the same. He got that grin again when James leaned over to scoop up a bite.
"Should have known apple pie would be a sure bet, you're American."
Steve laughed and took another bite. "Speaking of, what's your accent? It doesn't sound very Russian, James Barnes."
James smirked. "This is why I let Natasha do all the talking. My mom is Russian, my dad's American. We moved to Moscow when I was twelve for her work, so my accent is a bit all over the place. The more time I spend with Russians, it gets a bit stronger and same with Americans."
"How long have you known Natalia, then?"
"Since I was thirteen. My mom enrolled me in a dance class since I didn't know anyone and she was trying to keep me from going a bit crazy. I ended up getting good at it and met Nat when my teacher recommended me to some more advanced classes. She was the tiniest thing, but such a spitfire. My Russian wasn't great at the time and a few of the other kids weren't so nice about it, but she swooped in and cleaned house one day - managed to make clomping on some guy's instep look like a mistake and two other girls had nasty falls no one else saw happen." He laughed at the look on Steve's face. "Russian ballet, man, it's cutthroat. After that, we just stuck together. She helped with my Russian and I helped her with her English, and taught her how to punch someone without breaking a knuckle. When we paired together the first time it was just... magic. We danced together for ten years, until we left the Bolshoi." There was a faraway look on James's face as he toyed with his fork.
"Why did you leave ballet?" Steve asked, but they were interrupted as the waitress brought their coffees over and took the table number back. James busied himself stirring his coffee and Steve decided not to press it. It didn't seem to be something as simple as an injury and he didn't want to give it a chance of ruining their day.
"So, is it just me, or does Natalia's accent change a bit too?" Steve asked and was rewarded with a full throated laugh from James.
"That's Nat playing the part. Everyone expects us to be broody, dramatic Russians, so that's what you're getting. I'm still not great with charming the public, but she turns the accent right up and gives those sexy eyes and bam, people fall all over her, and by extension us."
"I think you're pretty charming." Steve flushed to his hairline and took a long drink of his coffee when he realised what he'd said out loud. James just smiled that same smile from breakfast and leaned back in his chair, pressing his foot up against Steve's. The blue of his t-shirt was making his eyes stand out and Steve's fingers itched with the urge to sketch him, to keep this moment.
“What made you decide to get into music? Not quite the same as ballet.” Steve leaned back, his foot still pressed against James’s.
James smiled. “Natasha, of course. When we left the Bolshoi,” another tiny dark flash behind his eyes, “I wasn’t sure I wanted to get back into performing, but Nat can’t not be doing something and I used to sing a bit, back when we were teenagers. She still knew a few people, entertainment and music people, and we started working with a few of them and then Winter Soldier was born.”
“I still haven’t heard your song yet, for this week. But I have it on good authority that it’s intense and romantic, and about the bond between two people that’s so strong it can last through anything and everything, even when people try to tear you apart,” Steve quoted and James chuckled.
“You’ll just have to wait until tomorrow night,” he teased. “Or, you know, use YouTube like most of the Eurovision fans.” James took a breath and glanced around them before continuing. “Everyone assumes the song is romantic, just like everyone assumes Nat and I are together. But Nat’s my rock and she’s been the only constant in my life for the last fifteen years. You can love someone without wanting to sleep with them.”
Steve resolutely avoided thinking too much about the last part of that sentence and shifted, bumping his feet against James’s again. As if he could read Steve’s mind, James grinned slyly, eyes crinkling. Steve reached for his coffee and took a sip as he attempted to compose himself. He was hit again with that warmth of wanting and it was a bit ridiculous how attracted he was to this guy.
James scooped up another bite of cake. “You want to take another look around?”
“I’d like to take a look outside, if that’s good with you. The sculptures on the lawns look really interesting and I think Picasso’s Dejeuner sur l’herbe is here.” Steve finished his coffee and James nudged the last of the apple pie over to him with a smile.
"Sure, sounds good."
The sculptures dotted outside around the museum took them on a rambling walk over the lawns. They found the Picasso and then a few more. Standing in front of a huge colourful… something James leaned into Steve’s shoulder, as if he were admitting something that there wasn’t even anyone around to hear. “Maybe I’m not an art person, but I really don’t understand this one.”
Steve turned to look at him and grinned. “I am an art person, and I don’t think I do either.”
They kept walking. The grounds of the museum and the rest of the island were lawns interspersed with paths and roads and after another half hour of wandering aimlessly, James stopped and dropped down on the grass of the hill they were walking down.
“Okay, I need a break. Enough walking.”
Steve grinned and sat down beside him. “I thought you ballet dancers were supposed to be hardier than this.”
“Ex-ballet dancer over here, thank you very much. And we can’t all be Captain… Clean Cut like you, buddy.” James flopped over on his back but his eyes were still on Steve with that cheeky, teasing grin.
The sun was warm and the breeze barely touching the leaves in the trees above them, so Steve took off his jacket and laid it out on the grass before laying down beside James, nodding his head at the space he’d left and James nudged over to claim it with his own head and shoulders.
They lay on Steve's jacket in comfortable silence for a little while, letting the sun and breeze and soft sounds of distant people flow around them. After a moment James rolled onto his side and looked at Steve, his head propped up on his hand. Steve turned his head to look at him, watching as James reached out and rested his hand on Steve's chest, his movement hesitant until Steve rested his own hand on top of it.
James's smile was blinding and Steve barely had time to return it before James leaned in and kissed him, his chest pressed up against Steve's shoulder. Steve kissed him back, letting go of James's hand to cradle his face, thumb sweeping across his cheekbone.
Steve lost track of time as they kissed, each swipe of tongue and bite on each other's mouths felt like it was drugging him into a stupor. He wrapped the arm underneath them around James and gave him a tug until James was draped over Steve's chest.
James made a startled noise that melted into the sound he’d made last night and bit at Steve’s lip in response. Steve made his own noise, sliding a hand under James’s jacket and up along the warm cotton covering the muscles of his back as he continued kissing him.
James drew away, catching his breath and Steve took the opportunity to nose along James’s jaw and press a kiss under his ear. James gave a breathless laugh and leaned back in to kiss him firmly before rolling off Steve's chest and flopping back onto Steve's jacket.
“If I don't stop now, I'm never going to be able to,” he said, unknowingly heading Steve's concern off before it had time to fully materialise. He reached for Steve's hand and Steve squeezed back as he threaded their fingers together. They lay there, Steve's thumb brushing across the back of James's hand, until Steve's stomach gave a growl. Steve looked down at his stomach, James looked down at his stomach, and they both started laughing.
“Let's get you back to the city before you fade away,” James said, sitting up. Steve flushed, embarrassed to have broken the mood, but James held out his hand to help Steve up and pulled him right into a quick kiss. Steve brushed their noses together as they parted and James seemed to soften further at the sweetness before tugging at their joined hands to head back in the direction of the city.
They chose to walk back over the causeway. Steve laughed when a gust of wind blew a hunk of James's hair into his mouth as he was trying to describe some Russian food and James retaliated by hip checking him. It only served to make it easier for Steve to wrap an arm around his shoulder and James pressed closer for a moment. They stopped for lunch at a funky looking burger place that had both a Swedish and English menu and, importantly, wifi.
Settled into a booth at the back of the empty restaurant, Steve fiddled with the settings until James plucked the phone out of his hands, tapped a few buttons and handed it back.
“I'm disproportionately turned on by that,” Steve said and he wasn't sure how much he was joking.
James laughed fondly at him as he scrolled through his phone. “Oh man, looks like Nat and Peggy have gone full BFFs.” At Steve's puzzled look he scooted closer to show Steve his Instagram.
Natalia’s Instagram story was the two ladies getting mani pedis and sipping smoothies, both laughing and looking like they'd been friends forever. Steve checked his own feed and saw that Peggy had posted a photo of the two of them flashing their new nails and laughing photogenically. “That was fast. I kind of thought they didn't like each other last night,” he admitted.
James’s mouth gave a wry twist. “Uh, yeah, last night was apparently Nat being a good bro. We weren't sure if you two were together, despite all the staring you were doing. So she and Peggy kind of… sorted it out.”
Steve blinked at him and everything suddenly made a whole lot more sense. He chuckled and leaned into James's shoulder. “Hey wait, this means you have an Instagram and I should be following you.” He pushed his phone back towards James, who dutifully typed in his username and Steve hit follow before he started scrolling through. There was a lot of the pre-Eurovision publicity and hype, but mixed in were some more casual photos of him and Natalia as well as some performance photos.
“Oh look, Stevegrogersart is following me now. Wait, man, is this your work? This is fantastic.” James was scrolling through, too, double tapping every few moments. “Wow, I love this one.” He tipped his phone to show Steve what he was admiring, a sketch from the last life drawing class he'd been at before coming to Sweden. The woman’s face was in profile, a charcoal sketch, but Steve had been pretty happy with it, too.
“I'm going to follow Natalia, too,” Steve announced, clicking through to her profile from James's. Her photos were more what Steve expected of a European pop singer, but there were some cute photos of her with her cat and one of James asleep on her lap on a bus.
James's phone buzzed as Steve scrolled through, catching up on his own feed, but he looked up when James made a pained noise.
“Message from Nat: “Your turn, boys. We want to see how your da-day,” James flushed suspiciously, “is going. Instagram or I tell Steve your American nickname.”
Steve grinned at him. “Your American nickname?” Their burgers arrived but he barely looked down, focused on the flush now creeping darker across James’s cheeks.
“No. Here, smile for the nice camera.” James tilted the phone to catch them both and their plates and Steve smiled as requested. He tucked into his food as James fiddled with filters and tapped out the caption in English and Russian. Finally he shot a message back to Natalia, this time including a snap of Steve shoving a French fry into his mouth as “proof of life” and he set the phone down.
They ate in comfortable silence and it was only after he'd finished his burger that Steve picked his phone back up to check the photo James had posted.
It was nice, friendly and normal looking with some sort of arty filter that made them look more golden. Underneath, James had written ‘Making new friends in Stockholm. Sorry @peggycartermusic, you might not be getting him back. #Eurovision #russiaukrelations #wintersoldier #peggycarter #youcankeepnatalia’.
Steve laughed then his eyebrows raised as he saw some of the comments. “‘Who’s the hottie?’ ‘I wouldn't give him back either’ ‘Sign me up for Eurovision’ What the..?” He turned puzzled eyes to James who chuckled.
“Have you never posted a photo of yourself on social media? Because, Steve, I hate to be the one to break this to you, but you're really, REALLY good looking.”
Steve’s mouth twisted, trying to decided if James was teasing him. He wasn’t bad looking or anything, he knew that. Peggy said he cleaned up alright and Tony liked to make beefcake jokes, but he was pretty sure that was because Peggy was his ex-girlfriend and Tony had known him Before.
James’s eyes narrowed and he put down the french fry he was holding. “How can I be the first one to break this to you? I’m not trying to make this uncomfortable, but-.” James looked away and then back, colour rising on his cheekbones. “Jesus, Steve, I’ve been staring at you for three days and was too scared to consider making a move because I thought you were way out of my league.”
Steve stared at him. His automatic reaction, “just a skinny kid from Brooklyn” died on his tongue at the look in James’s eyes. He blinked and looked back at the photo of the two of them. “I… I think I’m still so used to being the small guy I was that I don’t see myself as anything because no one else used to. Even with Peggy, it was our art that got us together.”
James reached across the table and laid his fingers against Steve’s wrist. “Then lucky for me, I guess.” He pulled back and picked up his soda. “Seriously, though, do you not notice the ten people a day that hit on you?”
Steve sputtered. “What, no. Now you’re just making stuff up. People don’t hit on me...”
“...They’re just really friendly?” James smirked. “Let’s ask Peggy, shall we?” Before Steve could even protest James took Steve’s phone from him, replaced it with his hand and dialed up Peggy on speakerphone.
There was laughter in her voice when she answered. “Darling? How’s your… lunch going?”
“Hey Peggy, it’s James. Could you answer for us, how many times a day does Steve get hit on and not notice?” He winked and squeezed Steve’s hand.
“Considering he never notices... But yes, Steve gets hit on more than he possibly realises. Averaging about five times a day? Depends on which shirt he’s wearing.” She laughed and Steve could hear Natalia’s low chuckle as well. Steve looked down at his shirt and narrowed his eyes at the phone, even though Peggy obviously couldn’t see him. James gave him a grin and waggled his eyebrows, clearly not complaining.
“Thanks Peggy, enjoy the rest of your day.”
“You too, boys.”
James put the phone back down on the table and used his free hand to eat another fry, tracing his fingers over Steve’s with the other. “So, I’m right and you’re hot.”
Steve rolled his eyes. “I’m glad you and Peggy have bonded over my inability to see when people find me attractive.”
“Me too.”
They finally finished their lunch and started meandering aimlessly as different streets and shops took their fancy. Mid-afternoon they stopped for some ice cream and Steve stood up against James’s back as they read the menu, hooking his chin over James’s shoulder while he debated flavours. James turned his face to glance at Steve, but didn’t protest, instead just leaning into the touch further.
They took the ice creams outside and kept walking, the day still bright and sunny, though it felt eclipsed by the heated looks they kept shooting at each other. Steve really wanted to know what the ice cream would taste like off James’s lips and leaned in to find out, stealing a quick, cold-lipped kiss. James laughed, head tossed back and Steve wanted to kiss him again and again.
They were wandering in the direction of the hotel, knowing they had to end up there again sometime, but without a deadline to guide them they kept stopping and looking at things, stretching the time out as far as they could. As they got closer to the hotel it was starting to turn into the golden light of late afternoon and Steve paused to take it in.
“C’mere.” He pulled James in and opened the camera on his phone. “My turn for a selfie before we get back.” He took a few and pressed a kiss to the side of James’s head before letting him go. He started walking off but got two steps before he realised James was still standing there. “Hey, you okay?”
James’s entire demeanor had changed, shoulders rolled in and he was chewing on his lip. “It’s my fault, but I just thought… I mean I didn’t think until I realised that you might put the photo up and I like you a lot, but I’m from Russia and I didn’t think…” He was hunched over so tightly that Steve thought he might pull something and was staring resolutely at his feet, blinking rapidly.
Steve stood in front of him, close enough to touch, but he didn’t. “It’s okay, I didn’t either. I wasn’t going to put the photo up, I just wanted to have a memory of today, but I didn’t even think of it. I’d never do anything to get you into trouble, though, and if you want me to back off for the rest of the week I absolutely will.” It hurt him to say it, but it was true. He’d back off as far as possible if it kept James safe and comfortable. “I really like you, too,” he added, suddenly shy.
James finally looked up at him and his shoulders loosened a little. His eyes were a bit damp but he gave Steve a quick smile. “Don’t stay away, but I can’t be with you, like with you, in public. It’s alright if that’s not okay,” he added hurriedly. “It’s a lot to ask and we just met, but -”
Steve cut him off gently with a hand on his arm. “James, it’s fine. I think we can manage being sneaky at an event filled with literally thousands of people. I just want to spend time with you, it doesn’t have to be PDA. We’ll figure it out.”
James closed the gap between them and rested his forehead on Steve’s shoulder. He relaxed more as Steve wrapped his arms around him and squeezed before letting him go. Reluctantly James pulled away. “Still, thanks.”
“I know how you can make it up to me,” Steve said as they started walking back to the hotel. James raised an eyebrow with a sly grin. “You can tell me your American nickname.”
The eyebrow dropped. “No.”
They went their separate ways at the hotel, after one more quick kiss in the empty elevator, and Steve laid down on his hotel room bed, staring at the ceiling. He liked James a lot, he could feel a connection with him and it was exciting and thrilling to have that with someone. On the other hand he was kicking himself for not thinking of James’s precarious position by going out with him. Part of his brain wanted back off and to do whatever it took to make sure he would be okay and the other part wanted to press James up against every flat surface he could find no matter how much hiding it involved.
There was a tap on the door and he got off the bed to open it, letting Peggy in. He didn’t realise he had been laying in the dark until Peggy frowned at him and flicked on one of the lamps. He sat on the couch heavily.
“Are you alright? I came to see if you wanted to go for dinner, but if you’ve got a headache I’ll leave you be.”
“No, I’m fine. Dinner sounds good.” He got up and walked over to the desk to grab his jacket but Peggy stopped him with a hand on his arm.
“Steve, what’s wrong?” She peered up into his face, brown eyes searching. “Did everything go alright today?”
Despite his muddled feelings Steve couldn’t help the automatic smile. “Yeah, today was great. It just, I forgot that he’s from Russia, we both sort of did, and he got a bit panicked about anyone finding out. I feel bad about wanting to try this with him if it will just end up getting him in trouble.”
“Well, does he want to try this with you?”
“Yeah, it seems like.”
“Then perhaps you should allow him his choice,” she said gently, reaching out and touching his cheek. “Don’t be so quick to sacrifice your happiness if you think he’s worth it. He certainly seems to think you are.”
Steve ducked his head and grinned. “Thanks, Peg. You’re the best.”
“Anything to keep that smile on your face. Now, dinner? You can fill me in on everything after.”
Steve was sketching on his tablet in the dressing room the next day, waiting for Peggy to finish another interview when a notification popped up.
Natalia: Please come to our dressing room as soon as you can.
Steve frowned but got up, tucking the tablet away. It only took him a minute before he was knocking on their door and Natalia let him in with a tense, pinched look on her face. Behind her James sat on the sofa, his elbows on his knees and face in his hands.
“What's wrong?” Steve asked after Natalia closed the door behind him. James looked up suddenly at the sound of his voice.
“Natasha, what are you doing, I don't want-”
Natalia cut him off with something harsh in Russian before switching to English with a glance at Steve. “Enough, Yasha. I love you and I'm not letting you make an enormously stupid decision without exhausting all options. Please,” she said, her tone softening. “Please don't. Trust him.”
Looking exhausted, James nodded. “Okay. But, could you tell it? I can't…” He reached out a hand towards Steve, who took it and let himself be pulled down onto the couch. James leaned into him heavily and Steve squeezed his hand, waiting for the explanation.
Natalia locked the door and sat down on the chair across from the couch. “You know James and I came from the Bolshoi?” At Steve's nod she continued, her voice low but clear. “Russian ballet is a serious thing and the Bolshoi is the highest pinnacle; it is the dream of every ballerina in Russia to dance there. Once you are at the Bolshoi, though, it is very different from the dream. Like anywhere else in Russia, money is king and part of being a principle dancer is bringing in sponsors and money. It is expected as a principle dancer that you will bring in a certain amount of money and if you do not, you may find you are no longer a principle dancer.
“So, it is also the job, then, to go to many parties, to be charming and lovely and encourage people to open their pockets as many times as possible. But, often, it they will not open their pockets until you have provided sufficient incentive.” She shrugged, attempting indifference, but her eyes were dark. “James and I were principle dancers for three years. The story in ballet circles goes that during an... encounter an oligarch was rough with me and hurt me, so I responded in kind. I left the Bolshoi and James came with me. But, it was not me he hurt, though I am the one who hurt him back.” She gave a toss of her head, but the cold anger in her eyes belayed the casual motion.
Steve looked at James, who was staring at the floor between his feet and squeezed his hand gently, stroking his thumb across the back of the hand in his. James squeezed back, but didn’t raise his head.
“When I came in this morning, Alexei was shouting and going on at James about you. Alexander Pierce has power in Russia and he was trying to use the threats of that power, ordering Yasha to stop seeing you. By the time Alexei left, he was close to doing it - this is why I called you here. I wanted you to know and I didn't want Yasha to make a foolish decision that would only hurt you both.” The honest emotion on Natalia’s face struck Steve and he nodded before wrapping his arm around James.
James turned towards him and pressed his face into Steve’s shoulder. “I'm sorry,” he said thickly.
“You don't have to be,” Steve replied, giving him a firm hug. “I'll say it again, if you want me to back off for this week, I will. The last thing I want is to be a distraction during something so important.”
Natalia raised an eyebrow in surprise but James sat up and finally looked at Steve. His eyes were red but determined. “No, that’s not what I want.”
“Then I’m not going anywhere.” Steve shrugged. “Like I said, this is a big and busy place, it shouldn’t be too hard to keep to ourselves.”
James and Natasha both smiled at him, then they exchanged a look that had her rolling her eyes affectionately.
“Okay, I’m going to get some food and a drink and I’ll be back in ten minutes. Ten, okay? No longer.” She unlocked the door and slipped out, shutting it firmly behind her.
“Where’s she -,” the question died on Steve’s lips as James leaned in and rested his forehead against Steve's.
“Hey.”
Steve slid a hand up to rest on the back of James’s neck. “Hey. You okay?”
“Yeah, better. I didn't want to have to tell you that stuff so soon, but at least you know now. Pierce just hit me where I'm not so strong and I freaked out.” James hesitated, biting his lip. “Sometimes I… I get panic attacks and just the way he was yelling set me off. I think I hate that guy,” he said darkly.
Steve chuckled. “I think I do, too.”
James leaned in a bit more and brushed his nose along Steve's before sliding down to press his lips to Steve’s, starting hesitantly as if he wasn't quite sure Steve meant what he'd said. Steve kissed him back, reaching up to cup James's jaw with his free hand and James relaxed into the kiss, leaning more into Steve until they were nearly horizontal on the couch.
The feeling of James practically on top of him was amazing and Steve slid the hand not cradling James's face down his back, feeling the play of muscles as James shifted minutely. The back of James's shirt had rucked up with their movement and Steve rested his hand on the warm strip between hem and jeans. James made an approving noise so Steve let his hand slide up under the shirt to trace along the skin. James moaned into his mouth and let the kiss get hotter and wetter, his own hand reaching up to trace down over Steve's biceps and chest.
With a nip to Steve's bottom lip, James pulled back, looking up at Steve through the curtain of his hair. “Thanks.”
Steve smiled at him, puzzled. “For what? Cause if it's for the kissing, I think I should be thanking you.”
James laughed and rested his face on Steve's shoulder, his nose pressed into Steve's collarbone. “For understanding. It's a big thing to put on someone you just met and it means a lot.”
Steve just wrapped his arms around James and kissed his head, letting the ambient noise from backstage wash over them.
Their moment was broken when a phone chirped and James sat up to reach his phone on the table. He chuckled. “It’s Nat: ‘I am on my way back. Please have all your clothes on or I will cock-block you for the rest of the week.’” He ran his hands through his hair and Steve sat up, pressing a last kiss on the back of James’s neck.
“Fair,” Steve laughed, reordering his shirt and trying to surreptitiously adjust his jeans as well. James noticed and gave him a smirk, followed by a last lingering kiss that it was almost painful to have to break. Steve finally stood and was gathering up his bag when Natalia swept back into the room carrying a plastic bag full of food.
“Well, you both look… happier.” Her sardonic observation was ruined by the genuine smile in her eyes and Steve just grinned at her. James reached out from the couch to tangle his fingers with Steve’s once more time and squeezed before letting go.
“I guess I’ll see you guys after the semi tonight?”
“Count on it,” James said and Natalia nodded.
“See you later, then.” With a last smile at James, Steve let himself out of the dressing room. He heard Natalia ask James something in Russian and the low chuckle in reply. He shook his head fondly and headed back to Peggy’s dressing room. They all had a big night to get ready for.