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Mike takes a deep breath as he pushes the heavy glass door and walks out to the outdoor corridor leading to his freedom. He knows who is there, right behind the wire fence, waiting for him. He can picture him standing straight and tall and proud but also looking a bit anxious and overwhelmed, as he knows Harvey can be sometimes.
Mike didn’t stay long in that prison, but in the short span of time he was inside those gates, he imagined that moment a thousand times. He imagined Harvey’s victorious smile, how warm and good he would feel when they would hug. He imagined Harvey’s carefully crafted plan for Mike’s first evening out. A steak, a glass of scotch and a night of light and familiar and welcome bantering. And sometimes, when he allowed his imagination to go completely wild, just sometimes, he imagined their first night together.
Mike didn’t stay long in that prison, but in the short span of time he was inside those gates, during the long hours he spent doing nothing, dreaming about being out and free, he realized something. Something involving Harvey, something big.
Mike dreamed about getting out a thousand times, but he never thought it would be so soon. Yet here he is, blinking as the morning sun hits his face. And Harvey is there, exactly where Mike thought he would be, right behind the wire fence. He’s got his hands in his pockets and, as Mike walks closer to him, he notices that his shoulders look tense.
This is it. They’ve made it. Mike is out.
“Did it work?”, Mike asks as soon as the automatic door, the last obstacle between him and his freedom, him and Harvey, slides open.
“It worked”, Harvey replies with a serious nod, but the tension in his shoulders seems to evaporate.
It worked. They managed to get Mike out of prison.
“We did it!”, Mike laughs, still not fully realizing that he is already, but also finally, free.
“We did”, Harvey laughs too, a huge smile suddenly lighting up his face.
Even though he knows him well now, such an open, generous, warm smile is still a rare look on Harvey. And it certainly was even rarer during Mike’s last days of freedom or during his incarceration. It feels good and Mike’s heart swells in his chest. He is out. Harvey’s here, they’re both out of danger. Life is good.
There is so much he wants to say right now, so many things he needs to say thank you for. Mike wants to hug him and never let go, he wants to kiss that smile and never stop. But it doesn’t feel like the right place or the right time. Plus Harvey’s dressed for work, so he’s probably going to drop Mike home and go straight to the office, leaving Mike no time to say what weighs heavy on his heart. It will have to wait, he thinks, extending his arm.
Harvey grabs his hand and shakes it, strong and full of relief.
“Come on, let's get out of here”, he smiles and turns to walk to the car. “Oh, one more thing”, he turns back around. “Someone couldn't wait for you to get home.”
One of the backseat doors opens, revealing a long pair of legs perched on black pumps and Rachel’s head finally pops out. She looks ravishing in the morning sun, the wind playing in her hair.
Mike smiles at her and automatically leans in for a kiss. This isn’t what he had imagined. Rachel wasn’t part of the scenario. And as the kiss turns to a hug, he realizes he wouldn’t have minded if she hadn’t been in that car. Better yet, he would have preferred she wasn’t. He’s not prepared to deal with her, with all of this yet. He just wanted to see Harvey.
“Let’s go home”, Rachel whispers and she plants a quick peck on Mike’s lips before moving to sit back in the car.
Mike clears his throat uncomfortably as he watches Harvey walk around the car to the passenger seat. He takes a deep breath and climbs in. Later.
Rachel couldn’t stay long, she had promised Leonard she would help his daughter prepare for his return and she had a lot to do in order to keep that promise. So after a rather silent ride to their apartment, they had a coffee, talked a bit and Rachel went out. Which is more than fine with Mike. As much as being alone feels like prison, it’s also comforting. It gives him the opportunity to reconnect with the outside world, with this apartment, on his own, at his own pace.
Mike walks to the bedroom and sits on the bed Rachel probably didn’t have time to make this morning before leaving for Danbury. He guesses Harvey was early to pick her up, because he always is, because being on time is being already late. She must have left in a rush. Her silky crème nightgown is lying on the floor, it’s the one Mike gave her for her birthday last year, the one she had stopped to watch in the Victoria’s Secret’s boutique window. The one she wore after they had sex the night Harvey drugged him so he could go out for a couple of hours and so Rachel could convince him to sell Kevin’s wife. He was glad to see her, and it felt great to fuck her, great to get a bit of that tension out.
They were happy. They almost got married.
Rachel looked gorgeous in her wedding dress, she was everything Mike had always imagined. Her parents were there, both of them, despite their reluctance. They were there with Jessica, Donna… and Harvey.
In hindsight, Mike is glad Rachel decided not to get married then. It would have made what he’s about to do now so much harder, so much more complicated. He thought they were happy. He really did. He thought he wanted to get married, he thought he wanted to see her wear her grandma’s ring. Because it all made sense. The beautiful paralegal that he met on his first day at the firm, the girl who wouldn’t give him the time of day but still helped him organize his rookie dinner, the girl he almost lost because of a voicemail he got too late, the girl he worked hard to have… it all made sense. They were in a romance novel, she was the princess and he was the knight in shiny armour. He thought they were happy because they had to be.
But the truth is that he didn’t agree to sell Kevin’s wife for Rachel, or because of Rachel. He did it for Harvey. He did it for the guilt he’s seen on Harvey’s face ever since Mike got arrested. He did it for all the times Harvey protected him, saved him. He did it for the night they got stoned after Grammy’s death, when Harvey told him about the can opener, when Harvey told him about his parents. He did it for the determination on Harvey’s face when Woodall got Mike and Harold arrested and he told Mike to point the finger at him. He did it for Harvey’s desperation when Donna left him for Louis, for the panic attack he witnessed in Harvey’s office.
He didn’t do it for his future wife. No, he did it for his best friend, the one who gave him a family, a job, hope, a life. He did it for Harvey, because that’s what Harvey wanted him to do, because Harvey worked his ass off in order for Mike to be a free man again.
He’s going to have to talk to Rachel and then to Harvey, or maybe to Harvey first. But he’s going to have to hurt and maybe get hurt, he’s going to have to put his heart on the line at some point in the near future, because now he’s not a fraud anymore, he’s got no intention of lying or pretending again, he’s done with that chapter of his life. He’s going to be straightforward and smarter and more honest now, because lies have put the people he cares about in danger. Whatever the consequences.
Mike must have fallen asleep on the unmade bed because when he opens his eyes, the sun is already hanging low in the sky.
He feels weird and anxious and his shirt is too tight, it’s strangling him at the neck and around the wrists. He quickly gets undressed and climbs in the shower. The warm, high-pressure water feels like heaven on his skin and he stands there, under the spray, for long minutes, letting the water wash away the smell of prison, the smell of guilt.
He feels much better after that, but his stomach is grumbling so he walks to the kitchen and opens the fridge. Everything looks absolutely delicious compared to what was served in the prison refectory. He fixes himself a plate with an assortment of ham, cheese, yoghurt, salad, whole bread and a piece of carrot cake, and he sits at the table.
He’s about to put the first mouthful of salad in his mouth when his phone buzzes, causing him to jump and drop his fork.
It’s a text, from Harvey.
“Hey. How are you? Settle back in and give me a call when you want to grab a drink, okay? H.”
This brings back the uneasiness and weird feeling, so Mike decides to quickly eat his meal and go back to sleep. Later.
“Hey”, Rachel smiles when Mike opens his eyes.
She’s leaning against the doorframe, a fond look in her eyes. It’s dark outside and Mike feels heavy with sleep and warmth.
“Hey”, he replies with a small smile.
“Can I join you?”, she lifts a teasing eyebrow.
“What time is it?”
“A little after 7”, she replies, walking to the bed. “I just got home. I did everything I had to do and Jessica gave me the day off tomorrow”, she adds and hops on the bed. “How was your day?”
Mike moves to sit up and pulls the cover up his t-shirt covered chest.
“I slept a lot”, he replies and all but jumps out of the bed when she approaches him. “I’m starving, aren’t you?”, he asks and laughs nervously.
“I could probably eat, yeah”, Rachel smiles but Mike can see she didn’t miss his automatic response to her getting close. “Let’s order in.”
They order sushi and Mike tries hard not to wolf his portion down, but it’s been long since he’s had them and he didn’t lie, he’s starving. Rachel tells him about Leonard, about the Innocence Project and how it all ended, about Jessica’s support, about school. And Mike lets her do the talking, he’s happy for her, she’s always wanted to be a lawyer and it’s all turning out great for her. She worked very hard, he got that the minute he met her, in the firm’s lobby, he understood that she was a hard-working, driven and not easily-impressed girl. And he loved that instantly about her. She was his total opposite. He was lazy and smart enough to half-ass everything, had no idea what he was doing and was blown-away by life every two seconds. He was like that. Before he met Harvey, before Harvey gave him purpose, before Harvey showed him how to handle life’s good and bad surprises, before Harvey showed him how to use his full potential. It took time, years literally, but he’s a grown-up man now. And grown-ups make decisions.
“… it actually all started because of a comment I got from a girl at school”, Rachel is saying when Mike comes back to reality. “It was about me supporting you despite you practicing law without a degree”, she looks down at her plate.
“I’m sorry for everything I put you through, Rachel”, Mike sighs. “All I’ve ever done to you is cause you pain or trouble.”
“That’s not true, baby”, Rachel shakes her head and grabs one of Mike’s hands. “Not at all. I would never have gone to law school if it hadn’t been for your encouragements and precious support.”
Mike huffs and looks away. He lied to her so many times he lost track, then came clean on some of those lies, he left the firm so he wouldn’t be a fraud anymore and because she wanted him to, and came back months later after having been fired. Truth is he would have left Sidwell anyway, he missed working with Harvey too much, he missed seeing him everyday, he missed Harvey.
He didn’t miss Rachel while he was in prison. This was part of the revelation he had inside those walls. She never came to visit her, she was busy getting another man out of prison, and that’s fine, Mike doesn’t resent her. He didn’t miss her, her voice, her touch, her smell. While he was there at Danbury, he missed the one person he saw almost everyday. He missed Harvey’s voice, Harvey’s touch and the very distinct yet subtle smell of his cologne. Every time Harvey would come visit him, Mike’s heart would race, his palms get sweaty and he would just get very excited at the prospect of seeing his lawyer/best friend/ex-boss/mentor/everything. And every time they would part, he would experience a feeling of sadness and grief so profound he would often find himself crying in his cell. That’s how much he missed Harvey, how much he loves Harvey. And once that realization hit him, he could not think about anything else, he had to do something about it. Once he got out of prison, he had to do things right, he had to stop screwing up and be real and honest about his life.
“Look”, Rachel smiles fondly. “You need to stop beating yourself up over what happened. It belongs to the past now, okay?”, she strokes his hand. “It’s going to take some time, but we’ll laugh at all of this one day. Until then, you need to think about what you want to do, take your time to figure that out. Just know that I’ll support you whatever you choose.”
This all but breaks Mike’s heart and he quickly takes his hand away.
“I’m sorry, Rachel, I can’t do this”, he says while getting up and walking out of the kitchen.
“Can’t do what, Mike?”, Rachel asks, following him.
“I need some air”, he replies and grabs his jacket. “I’m sorry”, he repeats before opening the front door and walking out of the apartment, leaving a stunned Rachel behind him.
Once out in the cool springtime air, despite basically walking out on Rachel with zero explanation, he still feels it easier to breathe. He thought he could deal with the situation for a couple more days before having to come clean. He can’t lie to her, he can’t pretend, he can’t even her look her in the eye.
Rachel’s proved to be a pretty patient woman and Mike’s sure she won’t hold what happened tonight against him. She knows he needs a little time to readjust, even though he wasn’t a prisoner for a long time, she’s not going to pressure him, she’s going to be sweet, give him all the time and space he needs, and Mike can’t have that. He doesn’t want to pretend that he needs time, he doesn’t want to pretend that he still wants to marry her, to be in this apartment with her. It needs to stop now.
He zips up his hoodie and closes the buttons of his jacket before making a left on the busy main street.
The doorman doesn’t ask anything, barely lifts an eyebrow when he sees Mike, probably because it’s been a long time since he last saw him, so Mike just nods politely and walks to the elevator.
Just like when he was about to meet with Harvey in the visitors’ room at the prison, his heart is racing in his chest and butterflies are swimming around in his stomach. It feels so weird feeling that way about a man he’s been working with for 4 years. Why now? Mike’s thought about it at length while lying in the dark on the very stiff prison bed, he knows those feelings probably were there since day one, but he couldn’t acknowledge them, he wasn’t ready, he couldn’t be in love with the man who didn’t care, the man who had different women sleeping over every day. So there was Jenny, and then Rachel, and he watched Harvey soften a bit as the years went by, he watched him committing to Scottie, going to therapy, showing more and more emotions. And the intensity of the last year, the many battles, the constant worry, the arrest, the trial… all of it served as a trigger, it opened Mike’s eyes. And when he got sent to prison, when he had time to reflect, away from life and its main protagonists, it appeared to him, like a revelation: he was in love with Harvey, had been for a some time. And not just because he owes him so much, not because he gave him a family and the job of his dreams. Nope. He is in love with Harvey because of the man Harvey is. Because of Harvey’s well-hidden generous heart and caring tendencies. Because of Harvey’s admirable strength, because of Harvey’s sense of humor and intelligence.
Of course, it doesn’t harm that Harvey’s a stunningly beautiful man with the most expressive eyes Mike’s ever seen.
Ding.
Mike clears his throat and steps out of the cabin, the bubbly butterflies in his stomach slowly turning into bitter insects. Tonight’s talk with Harvey could go one of two ways: either he feels the same as Mike or he doesn’t. Mike just hope that if Harvey doesn’t feel the same way, he won’t laugh, or smile, or think Mike’s pranking him.
Mike needs to get this off his chest, has played that conversation in his head many times, but the only thing he’s never been able to really predict is Harvey’s reaction. He has no idea what Harvey thinks of him, of their friendship… Especially after the whole prison shtick. Maybe Harvey doesn’t want anything to do with him anymore, because he’s finally realized that everywhere Mike goes, he brings trouble and chaos with him? Maybe that’s what he plans on telling him when they go out for a drink? Mike knows Harvey cares for him, that he’s sure of. The rest is a huge, scary mystery.
Mike takes a deep breath and pushes the doorbell button.
Maybe Harvey isn’t home yet. Part of him wishes for the door to remain unanswered, but the other, the bigger part, the one with the heavy heart and many, many thoughts and repressed feelings, that part wants to feel lighter, to get this over with.
“Mike?”, Harvey looks surprised when he opens the door.
He’s wearing a grey v-neck sweater and black flannel pants and Mike can hear music coming from inside the condo.
“Hey”, Mike clears his throat. “Can I, uh, come in?”, he asks when Harvey doesn’t move.
“Actually, it’s…”, Harvey makes a face and Mike instantly gets it. “I’m not alone.”
Of course. Of fucking course. What was Mike thinking? Of course Harvey would want to celebrate getting Mike out of prison, of course he would celebrate it the Harvey way, like Mike knows he does.
“Right”, Mike nods, his voice barely a whisper as he feels his heart explode in his chest.
“Harvey?”, a feminine voice calls from the apartment. “Who is it?”
Scottie.
“Just a minute”, Harvey replies and he rolls his eyes at Mike with a smile. “Did you want to talk about something? Can this wait until tomorrow? There is something I want to talk to you about as well.”
“No, it cannot wait”, Mike shakes his head, determined. “I just need to get this off my chest and then I’ll be on my way and you can enjoy your evening with Scottie”, he says, his voice a bit bitter than he intended.
“It sounds important, Mike”, Harvey narrows his eyes at him. “Are you sure you want to do this right here, right now?”
“I asked you if I could come in”, Mike replies defiantly. “It doesn’t matter anyway. Just let me say my piece and I’ll go.”
“Mike, are you okay?”, Harvey steps out a little pulling the door behind him so that it’s almost closed. “You look… angry?”
“I’m fine”, Mike nods jerkily and holds up a hand. “I came here tonight because I am tired of pretending, tired of being a fraud and I’ve made this decision in prison, I’m going to be completely transparent from now on”, he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “Starting with you”, he opens them again. “I just…”, he pauses. God it was so much easier in his head, the many times he imagined that moment. “I love you Harvey. Not as a friend, not as a mentor or a big brother, I am in love with you”, he says in one breath.
He doesn’t have time to read anything on Harvey’s face, to see any reaction, as the door behind Harvey is pulled open.
“Hey Mike”, Scottie gives him a fake smile. “What are you guys doing out here, come on in.”
“It’s okay”, Mike exhales sharply. “I was about to go. Bye”, he says and turns on his heels.
Thankfully, he doesn’t have to wait for the elevator as the one he came up here with is still there. Just before climbing in the cabin, he casts one last quick glance at Harvey, who hasn’t moved an inch.
That went well.
He’s still shaking when the cabin hits the ground floor. He did it. He told Harvey. In the most embarrassing and poorly-timed manner, but at least now Harvey knows. Now he needs to tell Rachel and he will be completely clean. It doesn’t feel as relieving as he thought it would, though.
He doesn’t want to go home yet, he needs to unwind a bit, to shake the weird feeling off, to let what happened during that short moment on Harvey’s doorstep sink in.
After about a half hour wandering the streets, he takes his phone out of his pocket and heaves a deep sigh. There are 13 missed calls and 3 voicemails from Rachel. 1 text message from Harvey. He hesitates for a fleeting moment and slides his thumb across the screen.
“Come back”
Short, directive, it’s so Harvey that Mike can’t help a smile when he reads the text.
“I’m almost home. Sorry for showing up unannounced. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”, he types and sends.
His phone rings seconds later.
“Harvey, I-”
“Come back here right now, Mike”, Harvey orders, and Mike can’t really tell if he’s pissed or anything.
“I’m almost home, Harvey”, Mike lies. “Let’s, uh-”
“Where are you? I’ll call you an Uber.”
“Harvey, again, I’m sorry for showing up like that, but it’s late, let’s talk about it some other time”, Mike deflects, though he knows he’s not being fair with Harvey.
“Some other time?”, Harvey huffs. “Get your ass in here right now.”
Now this clearly sounded like a growl, like a well-deserved growl.
“What about your plans? Scottie?”
“I sent her home”, Harvey replies rather sharply. “15 minutes, Mike”, he adds and hangs up.
Mike lets out a long, theatrically loud sigh and reluctantly starts retracing his steps to Harvey’s. He’s not close to home, but he isn’t close to Harvey’s building either. 15 minutes. Who does Harvey think he is? There is not way Mike can be there in 15 minutes unless he calls a cab or runs there. He chooses the latter.
Once again, the doorman barely acknowledges him when he enters the lobby running.
“14 minutes and 28 seconds, impressive”, Harvey’s voice comes from the lounge area, startling Mike.
Mike stops dead in his tracks and rolls his eyes at him before exhaling deeply. It’s been a long time since he ran that fast.
“I offered to send you a cab”, Harvey gets up and walks up to him.
“Yeah, and I could have called one myself”, Mike replies, still breathless. “I needed the exercise.”
Harvey makes a face and gives Mike a quick once-over.
“Wanna come up?”, he asks.
“Sure, whatever”, Mike shrugs.
Harvey doesn’t seem mad or anxious, if anything he looks amused, far too amused for Mike’s liking.
They ride up Harvey’s private elevator, and Mike uses this precious interlude to regain his breath and composure. He’s sweating underneath his 3 layers of clothes and doesn’t even dare sniffing himself, doesn’t need to, he’s pretty sure he smells.
“After you”, Harvey says, extending his arm.
Mike steps out of the cabin, directly into the living room. It still smells like scented candles and spicy food, but the evidences of Scottie’s presence have been removed. The music is style playing, but much lower.
“What did you tell Scottie?”, Mike asks, looking around the familiar living room and it just occurs to him now that he lived there for a short period, not too long ago.
He lived with Harvey, he had breakfast with Harvey, took turns in the bathroom with Harvey, cooked dinner with Harvey, watched TV on that couch with Harvey. Oh, what he would give to relive those moments with his newfound knowledge.
“I told her what you told me”, Harvey replies flatly.
“What?”, Mike chokes. “What, um, what did she… say?”
Harvey doesn’t reply, instead he walks to the kitchen, takes out two wineglasses from a cupboard and a bottle from his wine cellar. He takes his sweet time opening the bottle and tasting the wine before pouring two generous glasses and bringing them to the living room area where Mike is still standing,
“Don’t you want to sit?”, Harvey asks.
“Uh, yeah”, Mike nods and takes a seat on the couch across from Harvey’s favourite armchair.
“Here”, Harvey pushes a glass towards Mike. “Scottie wasn’t surprised. She says you’re the reason we’re not together, that you have and will destroy any relationship I might have.”
“What? What the hell is she talking about? She’s crazy!”, Mike snaps. “I never interfered in any of your relationships!”
“No, she’s right”, Harvey replies and he lifts up a hand to shush Mike’s forming protest. “You have been a huge part of my life ever since I met you”, he says and Mike sees the shift in his eyes, he sees them becoming softer, like they always do when he’s about to speak from the heart or to tell a story. “I put my job on the line for you on your first day at the firm”, he shakes his head with a smile. “And I did it again after Jessica learned that you didn’t go to Harvard…”
He pauses for a while and looks away. Mike doesn’t know if he should speak now, there are so many questions on his mind, but he doesn’t want to interrupt Harvey.
“I had lied to a client, I had lied to him and been disrespectful”, Harvey explains as his fingers tap on the stem of his glass. “A couple of days before my interviews were set. That bluff was supposed to get us a win, and it didn’t. The client threatened to leave us. I had just been promoted to Senior Partner and, on your first day here, she told me she couldn’t promote me because of my behaviour, because that would be sending the wrong message”, he looks up at Mike. “Which meant I couldn’t have an associate, which meant I was supposed to send you home. Which I did, if you remember”, he smiles. “Then you played me, gave me an idea and I went straight to Jessica to plead my case, and you know the rest of it”, he sighs. “The truth is, at that moment, I cared more about having you as my associate than about that damn title. I knew next to nothing about you, but I still knew I wanted to work with you, to use that incredible mind of yours and let you prove to me that you could be the best lawyer I had ever seen.”
Mike gulps and takes a sip of his glass. Of course he remembers all of this. He remembers everything anyway, but since discovering his feelings for Harvey, he’s thought about and relived all these memories.
“You never told me how you got Jessica to agree that I stayed after she discovered my secret”, he says and clears his throat.
Harvey smiles around the rim of glass.
“I told her that if she fired you, I would go too. That I wasn’t staying without you.”
Mike’s heart flutters in his chest, but he refuses to read into that, or into anything Harvey has said so far. He cannot do that, he needs to hear everything Harvey has to say first.
“She knew I wasn’t kidding, she knew how much I loved my job, and for me to put it on the line like this? She knew you had to be the real deal”, Harvey chuckles, and for the first time tonight, he seems to have lost some his annoying confidence.
“Was it worth it?”, Mike looks down at his glass. “I mean, all that trouble? That’s all I’ve caused around me, Harvey. Trouble.”
“It was worth every second of it”, Harvey replies, his voice low and emotionally heavy. “I told you, life was like this because of you”, he says gesturing like he did years ago in his office. “Because of our secret, because of your exceptional mind. So yeah, it was totally worth it.”
Mike purses his lips and tries to hold Harvey’s deep brown gaze. It’s never been easy, the stare is part of Harvey’s superpowers, but tonight it proves even more difficult.
“Rachel is going to hate me”, he almost whispers. “I’m going to break her heart and I hate myself for that. What’s wrong with me?”, he looks up and shakes his head. “I’m done causing trouble, Harvey. I am done lying and pretending.”
“You have earned that right, Mike”, Harvey nods and takes a sip of wine, finishing his glass.
“I’m probably not handling this properly, though”, Mike says. “I haven’t talked to her yet, I thought it could wait a little, but it can’t, I can’t look at her. I need to talk to her tonight… Oh my god…”, he takes his head in his hands.
What has he done? Right now he’s lost, it’s not at all clear anymore and he’s not sure what he’s doing here in Harvey’s living room, what the point of all this is. He needs to go, he needs air.
“Mike”, he hears and jumps when he feels two strong hands closing around his shoulders. “Mike.”
He opens his eyes and looks up. Harvey’s crouched down on the carpet in front of him, a worried look on his face.
“You don’t have to do anything tonight”, Harvey announces. “You’re welcome to stay as long as you need until you figure things out, okay?”
Mike gives him a small smile.
“Oh, I’ve got things figured out just fine”, he laughs nervously. “Now I just need to act on my decisions and discoveries.”
Harvey studies him for a moment, before getting back up and taking a seat on the couch next to him.
“Thanks for your offer, though”, Mike nods. “I think I’m gonna go”, he says and gets up.
“Mike”, Harvey gets up and stands in Mike’s way.
“I’m tired, Harvey…”, Mike sighs. “I thought I was doing the right thing, but obviously-”
He can’t finish his sentence because Harvey pulls him into a very tight hug. It feels so good to be pressed against that warm and strong body, so good to smell the familiar cologne, so good to finally get some human contact. Mike wraps his arms around Harvey’s waist, closes his eyes and inhales deeply.
“Thank you”, he breathes, his throat getting tighter and tighter.
Harvey doesn’t say anything, he just pulls Mike even closer. So close Mike can feel Harvey’s heart beating against his rib cage, almost as fast as Mike’s.
“I’m sorry for shaking your hand this morning”, Mike huffs. “You have no idea how much I wanted to hug you…”
“I know…”, Harvey finally replies. “I know. I wanted that too. But Rachel was in the car and…”, he pauses and Mike hears him gulp. “I don’t think I would have been able to let you go if…”
Mike turns his head so that his nose is buried in Harvey’s neck. He can’t be misinterpreting Harvey’s words now, can he?
“I don’t want to let you go”, he whispers.
He feels Harvey take a deep breath, and another one, and he could swear Harvey wants to say something, that’s how it feels, how it sounds, like Harvey’s trying, opening his mouth and closing it again, bracing himself and then nothing.
“Whatever you need to say, I can take it”, Mike says. “Seriously, I’m immune to bad news or surprises…”
Harvey pulls away and narrows his eyes at Mike.
“Come back to the firm, come work with me, as a consultant”, he says, his voice full of hope, of promises.
Mike clears his throat to hide his disappointment, he clearly did not see that coming. He expected everything, from an apology for not feeling the same as Mike to maybe a kiss, he doesn’t know, he doesn’t know anything anymore right now. But not that.
“I don’t know, Harvey. You don’t need to do that, you’ve done so much for me already, I’ll find a job, don’t worry about me.”
“I’m not doing this for you”, Harvey smiles smugly. “I’m doing this for me. I miss working with you.”
“I miss working with you too…”, Mike sighs.
“Think about it, okay?”
Mike swallows hard and grabs his glass to finish it. He needs to get out of here.
“Thank you for, uh, the wine”, he clears his throat and buttons up his jacket. “Don’t, uh, I’ll show myself out”, he adds, avoiding Harvey’s gaze, and walks to the front door.
He’s about to open it when Harvey appears at the end of the corridor.
“Mike”, he says, his face closed, hands in his pockets, shoulders slumped. “I am not good at… this”, he gestures between them and takes a couple of steps forward. “What you did earlier tonight, coming here and telling me…”, he licks his lips. “I couldn’t do that. I can’t do that.”
Mike simply nods because he suspects that there’s more to come.
“Scottie is completely right. You are the reason it didn’t work out with her. You are the reason Donna left me for Louis”, Harvey continues as he takes a couple more steps. “You are the reason for many things.”
“Harvey…”, Mike exhales noisily. “You will have to be more specific here. I’m not following, what are you trying to say? I don’t know what to think…”
“Told you I wasn’t good at this”, Harvey snorts.
He walks the last steps separating him from Mike and slowly lifts up a hand. He cups Mike’s face and leans in.
That moment seems to drag on, it seems a lot slower and a lot longer than Mike realistically knows it is, and suddenly, Harvey’s lips are pressed against his. They’re warm and a lot softer than Mike imagined. It’s a wonderful feeling to finally get a taste of the man he spent hours daydreaming about, of the man it took Mike almost 5 years to admit he was in love with, of his best friend and only family.
It’s Harvey who deepens the kiss moments later, his tongue gently probing at Mike’s lips until he opens them and lets Harvey in. And Mike knows that there will be no going back from that moment.
“Stop thinking”, Harvey murmurs against his lips. “Let go.”
“Does your offer still stand?”, Mike whispers. “Can I stay?”
“For as long as you want”, Harvey replies and he kisses him again.
THE END