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not that kind of movie (a tragedy in three acts, except it's a rom-com, unfortunately)

Summary:

He was thinking about his screenplay. Specifically, he was thinking about how to write a meet-cute that wasn't completely idiotic. Maybe something realistic. Like... two people at a dog park. No, too boring. Two people at a bookstore reaching for the same book. No, too cliché. Two people—
The body that collided with him was tall. That was Dylan's first thought. His second thought was oh no, the eggs, and his third thought was interrupted by the sensation of flying.
Not him flying. The lilies. The coffee. The baguette.
Everything went up, and then everything came down.
Dylan landed on his ass on the sidewalk. The lilies landed in a puddle. The coffee—his beautiful, black, unsweetened coffee—performed a majestic arc through the air and splattered across the chest of the person who had just walked directly into him.

Or: Dylan doesn't believe in romance, but he has a screenplay to write within three weeks. Nano is the hopeless romantic shipper, who decides to take matters into his own hand. Jun is just being Jun.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: in which nano is definitely a witch and dylan is definitely cursed (or blessed)

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The cursor had been blinking for forty-five minutes. Dylan Zhou had named it. He called it ‘the traitor’, and he was currently glaring at it with the kind of intensity that suggested he believed, truly believed, that if he stared hard enough, the blinking vertical line might spontaneously generate a screenplay.

It did not.

"You're blocking the muse," Nano said, sliding into the booth across from him with two cups of coffee that were definitely not what Dylan had ordered. Nano had that look on his face—the one that made Dylan deeply, profoundly suspicious.

It was the look of a man who had just discovered manifestation TikTok and was taking it personally.

"I ordered an Americano," Dylan said.

"And I got you a caramel macchiato with extra caramel drizzle and whipped cream," Nano said, pushing the cup toward him. "You're writing a rom-com, Dylan. You need to feel things. Sugar helps you feel things."

"I feel like I'm going to vomit from sweetness."

"That's the spirit!" Nano beamed. He was wearing a sweater that said ‘Believe in Magic’ in glittery letters, and Dylan was ninety percent sure Nano had ironed it specifically for this occasion. "Now. Tell me about your meet-cute."

Dylan dragged his hands down his face. His gray hair—recently touched up, thank you very much—flopped into his eyes. He needed a haircut. He needed a new major. He needed to go back in time and not insult Professor Chen's favorite Nora Ephron movie during the first week of Film Studies 101, because this—this—was his punishment. A romantic comedy screenplay. Due in three weeks.

"I don't have a meet-cute," Dylan said. "I don't believe in meet-cutes. I believe in... I don't know. Accidents. Coincidences. The crushing inevitability of entropy."

Nano took a sip of his own drink—something purple with stars on top—and leaned forward. The cafe was nearly empty at 11 PM, which was the only reason Dylan had agreed to this intervention. The fluorescent lights hummed. Somewhere in the back, a dishwasher clanked.

"Dylan," Nano said, his voice dropping to a whisper that was somehow still loud. "Look at me."

"I'm looking."

"No, really look at me."

Dylan looked. Nano's eyes were doing that thing where they seemed to sparkle, which Dylan had previously attributed to good genetics and possibly contacts, but was now beginning to suspect was something else entirely.

Nano had always been weird. 

Weird weird.

The kind of weird where he knew things he shouldn't know, showed up places he shouldn't be, and had an uncanny ability to make things happen simply by willing them into existence.

Like last month, when he'd looked at Dylan and said, "You're going to find a twenty-dollar bill today," and Dylan had, in fact, found a twenty-dollar bill in his pocket despite being certain he was broke.

Or the time Nano had told the barista at their usual spot, "The love of your life is going to walk through that door in exactly three minutes," and sure enough, some guy named Thame had walked in, spilled his drink on the barista named Po, and now they were dating.

Nano was, Dylan was increasingly certain, a witch.

"Nano," Dylan said slowly. "Are you about to do something weird?"

"Define weird," Nano said, and then he reached across the table and touched Dylan's hand.

The lights flickered.

Dylan jerked back. "What the hell?"

"Nothing!" Nano said, grinning way too wide. "Just... giving you some creative energy! Some inspiration! Some romance!"

"You're terrifying."

"I'm helpful." Nano leaned back, and then he did something that made Dylan's blood run cold: he turned his head, looked directly at the empty space to his left, and winked. "Don't you think so, dear reader?"

Dylan followed his gaze. There was nothing there. Just a wall with a framed photo of a coffee bean that said ‘Espresso Yourself’.

"Nano," Dylan said carefully. "Are you having a stroke?"

"Metaphorically? No. Physically? Also no." Nano turned back to him, smile still firmly in place. "I'm just saying. Sometimes the universe listens. Sometimes you put your intentions out there, and the universe provides. Sometimes you need a little... magic... to get the story started."

"You're not a witch," Dylan said, mostly to convince himself.

"And you're not a rom-com protagonist," Nano countered. "Yet here we are."

"I'm going home."

"Sleep on it!" Nano called after him as Dylan stuffed his laptop into his bag. "The muse strikes when you least expect it! Usually involving physical comedy and property damage!"

Dylan flipped him off without turning around.

 

 

He slept, but not well. He dreamed of blinking cursors and wedding marches and Nano's glittery sweater chasing him down a hallway while shouting something about "narrative destiny."

When his alarm went off at 7 AM, he felt like he'd been hit by a truck. A small truck. Maybe a very aggressive Vespa.

Dylan stared at his ceiling. Gray hair flopped over his forehead. He needed coffee. Real coffee, not Nano's witch-brewed sugar bomb. He needed to forget about this screenplay. He needed—

His phone buzzed.

@nanoismanifesting: Good morning! The universe is listening! Wear something nice!

Dylan threw his phone across the room. It landed on his laundry pile, which was, unfortunately, clean, because Dylan was an adult who did laundry on Sundays like a responsible person. He groaned, rolled out of bed, and shuffled to his bathroom to stare at his reflection.

Resting bitch face. Check.

Gray hair that was somehow already messy despite having just woken up. Check.

Dark circles under his eyes that made him look like a Victorian ghost who had something to prove. Check.

"You're not a rom-com protagonist," he told his reflection. "You're a real person. Real people don't have meet-cutes. They have... scheduled interactions. Professional networking. Tinder dates that end in mutual disappointment."

His reflection looked skeptical.

Dylan showered, dressed in black skinny jeans and an oversized sweater that swallowed his slim frame, and grabbed his bag. He had a list of errands to run before his afternoon class: groceries, dry cleaning, and—because he was a masochist—another attempt at the screenplay at the campus library.

He stopped at the flower shop because his mother had called yesterday and mentioned, casually, that his grandmother's birthday was this week and "wouldn't it be nice if someone remembered to send flowers, Dylan, not that I'm saying you forgot, but you definitely forgot”.

He bought lilies. They were tall, unwieldy, and wrapped in paper that crinkled loudly with every movement. He bought coffee—black, no sugar, the antithesis of Nano's witchcraft beverage. He bought groceries: a baguette that stuck out of his canvas bag like a bread sword, a carton of eggs, and a jar of pickles because he had cravings and no self-control.

He was, in short, carrying way too much.

Dylan was also, in short, not looking where he was going.

He was thinking about his screenplay. Specifically, he was thinking about how to write a meet-cute that wasn't completely idiotic. Maybe something realistic. Like... two people at a dog park. No, too boring. Two people at a bookstore reaching for the same book. No, too cliché. Two people—

The body that collided with him was tall. That was Dylan's first thought. His second thought was oh no, the eggs, and his third thought was interrupted by the sensation of flying.

Not him flying. The lilies. The coffee. The baguette.

Everything went up, and then everything came down.

Dylan landed on his ass on the sidewalk. The lilies landed in a puddle. The coffee—his beautiful, black, unsweetened coffee—performed a majestic arc through the air and splattered across the chest of the person who had just walked directly into him.

The baguette rolled into the street.

Dylan looked up.

The person looked down.

Time, Dylan would reflect later, did not actually stop. It just felt like it did, because the person standing over him was—objectively, scientifically, unfairly—beautiful in a way that made Dylan immediately suspicious. Tall and lean with the kind of effortless posture that suggested he played sports but wasn't obnoxious about it. Soft brown hair that fell in gentle waves over his forehead, the kind of hair that looked like it would feel like silk if you ran your fingers through it. And his face—god, his face—was all soft angles and even softer features. Full lips that were currently pressed into a line of mild inconvenience. Gentle eyes behind wire-rimmed glasses that he definitely didn't need for walking, framed by dark lashes that cast shadows when he blinked. He had the kind of skin that looked like it was perpetually lit by golden hour, even under harsh morning sunlight.

He looked like he should be in a commercial for something wholesome. Oat milk. Sustainable fashion. The kind of shampoo that cost more than Dylan's monthly rent.

Dylan hated him immediately. Or at least, he tried to. His pulse was doing something complicated in his throat.

"You're standing on my phone," the man said. His voice was warm, surprisingly deep but mellow, like honey over gravel. It didn't match the sharpness of his words.

Dylan blinked. "What?"

"My phone." The man pointed, and Dylan noticed his fingers—long, elegant, the kind of hands that looked like they could build things or break things or maybe both. "You're standing on it."

Dylan looked down. He was, in fact, standing, or rather sitting, on a phone. He shifted his foot. The screen was definitely cracked now. Great.

"And you've spilled coffee on me," the man continued, looking down at his shirt—white, now decorated with a spreading brown stain that clung to the fabric over his chest. He looked back at Dylan, and there was something in his eyes that wasn't quite anger. It was... amusement? Challenge? "It’s hot."

"Oh," Dylan said.

"And you're still standing on my phone."

"Oh." Dylan stepped fully away. The phone was definitely dead. "Right. Sorry. I—are you okay?"

"Do I look okay?" The man gestured at his chest, and Dylan's eyes followed the movement before he could stop them. The coffee had soaked through the thin white fabric, clinging to defined muscle underneath. Dylan snapped his gaze back up to the man's face, which was now wearing the faintest hint of a smirk. "I'm covered in caffeine and my phone is destroyed. I'm fantastic."

"I'll pay for it," Dylan said, scrambling to his feet. He was shorter than the man by an inch or two, which put him at eye level with the coffee stain and the collarbones above it. He forced himself to look at the man's face instead. "The phone. And the dry cleaning. I'm sorry, I wasn't looking—"

"Obviously."

"—and I had a lot of things—"

"Obviously."

"—and you're being really smug for someone who just walked into me!"

The man raised an eyebrow. It was a very expressive eyebrow. It suggested that the man found Dylan equal parts annoying and entertaining, and hadn't decided which was winning yet.

"I was walking in a straight line," the man said, stepping closer. Not threatening—just there, invading Dylan's space with the kind of confidence that came from knowing you looked good even covered in coffee. "You walked into my straight line."

"That's not how physics works!"

"That's exactly how physics works. Two objects cannot occupy the same space." The man's eyes crinkled at the corners, just slightly. "Unless you're suggesting we're quantum particles? Are we entangled now, flower boy?"

Dylan felt his face heat up. "I'm not—don't call me flower boy. And I'm not an object."

"Aren't you?" The man tilted his head, and his hair fell across his forehead in a way that was—again—objectively beautiful and deeply annoying. "You seem pretty object-like to me. Solid mass. Takes up space. Currently occupying my personal bubble."

"You're in my personal bubble!"

"I'm not the one who fell."

"Because you knocked me over!"

"Because you weren't watching where you were going." The man bent down to retrieve his broken phone, and Dylan watched him move—graceful, unhurried, like he had all the time in the world. He straightened up, tucking the phone into his pocket, and looked at Dylan with those soft eyes that didn't match his sharp mouth at all. "But I suppose I can accept partial responsibility. I was... distracted."

"By what?"

The man's gaze flicked over Dylan's face, quick and assessing, and Dylan felt it like a physical touch. "The hair," he said finally. "It's very... gray."

"It's silver."

"It's gray."

"It's stylistic."

"If you say so." The man was definitely smiling now, small and private, like he knew a secret Dylan wasn't in on. "Text me about the dry cleaning. I'll send you my details."

"I don't have your number."

"Then I suppose you'll have to find me." The man started to walk away, then paused, looking back over his shoulder. The morning light caught his hair, turned it into something warm and glowing. "Or hope we run into each other again. Literally."

"Asshole!" Dylan shouted at his retreating back.

The man laughed—a real laugh, warm and surprised, that crinkled his eyes and showed his teeth and made Dylan's chest feel tight in a way he absolutely refused to analyze. He raised one hand in a wave that somehow managed to be both dismissive and inviting.

Dylan gathered his things. The baguette had been run over by a scooter. The eggs were definitely omelets now. The lilies were compost.

He trudged home, fuming, and told himself he was relieved. Relieved! Because that was it. One terrible interaction with a terrible stranger, and now they would never see each other again. That was how the world worked. You bumped into people, sometimes literally, and then they disappeared into the statistical probability of urban life, never to be seen again.

Dylan didn't believe in fate. He didn't believe in destiny. And he definitely, definitely didn't believe that the attractive coffee-covered asshole was going to turn out to be anything other than a funny story he'd tell at parties.

Some guy walked into me today and acted like it was my fault, he'd say. Can you believe it? Total asshole. Gorgeous, though. Like, unfairly gorgeous, total hottie.

He got back to his apartment building—a mid-rise complex near the university that was mostly populated by students and young professionals—and punched the elevator button with more force than necessary.

The doors opened.

Dylan stepped inside.

The doors started to close, and then—

"Hold the elevator!"

A hand shot between the doors. They bounced open.

And the guy—soft brown hair, gentle eyes, coffee-stained white shirt, wire-rimmed glasses pushed up into his hair—stepped into the elevator.

They stared at each other.

"You," the guy said, and his voice had dropped an octave, like he was equally surprised and pleased.

"You," Dylan said, trying to sound annoyed and not breathless.

They stared some more. The air between them felt charged, electric, like the moment before lightning struck.

"Fate," the man said softly, almost to himself.

"Bad luck," Dylan corrected.

The guy pressed the button for the fourth floor.

Dylan pressed the button for the fifth floor.

They stood in silence that was somehow both awkward and charged with something Dylan didn't want to name. He could smell the coffee from the man’s shirt—earthy and warm—but underneath that, something else. Something clean, like soap and something vaguely metallic, like labs and precision.

"You're my neighbor," the man said after a while, breaking the tense silence. It wasn't a question. His eyes were doing that crinkling thing again, like he was laughing at a private joke.

"I'm your neighbor," Dylan confirmed, wishing desperately that he wasn't. Wishing and not wishing simultaneously, which was confusing.

"And you go to Chula," he observed, nodding at the university lanyard hanging from Dylan's bag.

"Film major," Dylan said, because apparently he was giving out his life story now.

"Jun. Nanoengineering," the guy finally said. "Graduate level."

"Of course you're a nanoengineering grad student."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you look like you spend your days manipulating matter at the atomic level." Dylan gestured vaguely at him. "The glasses. The posture. The way you're standing there like you're calculating my molecular structure."

"I am calculating your molecular structure," Jun said, deadpan. "You're mostly carbon, oxygen, and bad decisions, from what I can tell."

Dylan's mouth opened. Then closed. Then opened again. "Did you just—"

"Make a joke? Yes." Jun's lips twitched. "I contain multitudes."

The elevator lurched.

Dylan grabbed the railing. Jun stumbled sideways, catching himself against the wall, and somehow ended up closer to Dylan than before. Close enough that Dylan could see the individual lashes framing his eyes, could see the small scar above his left eyebrow, could see the way his pulse fluttered in his throat.

They looked at each other again, but this time with less hostility and more... something else. Something that made Dylan's stomach do a complicated gymnastics routine.

"That sounded bad," Dylan said, and his voice came out rougher than intended.

"That sounded like—"

The lights flickered. The elevator stopped moving.

"No," Dylan said.

"Shit," Jun said, voice sounding panicked, but also weirdly deadpan, which was confusing.

They were trapped.

Dylan slid down the wall until he was sitting on the floor. Jun remained standing for approximately three seconds before sighing and sliding down to sit across from him, long legs folding elegantly, close enough that their knees almost touched.

"How long do you think—" Dylan started.

"Could be hours," Jun said. "Building maintenance is... not prompt."

"You've lived here long?"

"I moved in yesterday."

Dylan buried his face in his hands. "Of course you did," he mumbled.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means," Dylan said, looking up, "that the universe hates me. That's what it means. I have a screenplay due in three weeks, I just destroyed my groceries, I spilled coffee on a stranger who turned out to be my neighbor, and now I'm trapped in an elevator with him. This is not a rom-com, okay? This is a horror movie. This is Saw but with worse lighting."

Jun blinked. Then he tilted his head back and laughed—really laughed, head thrown back, throat exposed, eyes squeezed shut. It transformed his face from mildly inconvenienced coffee stain victim to something radiant, something that made Dylan's breath catch in his throat.

"You're funny," Jun said when he recovered, wiping at his eyes. "I didn't expect that."

"Now what's that supposed to mean?"

"You look..." Jun's eyes traveled over Dylan's face, slow and deliberate, like he was memorizing features. "Intense. The hair. The expression. Like you're always three seconds away from telling someone to go to hell."

"I am always three seconds away from telling someone to go to hell."

"And yet," Jun leaned forward, just slightly, close enough that Dylan could feel the warmth radiating from him, "you haven't told me to go to hell yet. Even though I destroyed your eggs."

"You didn't destroy my eggs. The sidewalk destroyed my eggs."

"Semantics." Jun's voice had gone soft, almost gentle, and his eyes were fixed on Dylan's mouth in a way that made Dylan want to lick his lips. What?

"Tell me about this screenplay," Jun’s voice interrupted Dylan’s increasingly lewd thoughts.

"What?"

"You mentioned it. Three weeks, you said. Rom-com?"

"How did you—"

"You were carrying flowers." Jun's mouth curved. "And you have that look. Like you're trying to solve a puzzle you don't believe has an answer."

Dylan stared at him. "That's... weirdly perceptive."

"I'm weirdly perceptive." Jun tapped his temple. "Comes with the nanoengineering. I see things at the microscopic level. Patterns. Connections."

"And what do you see when you look at me?"

The question hung between them, too honest, too exposed.

Jun was quiet for a long moment. Then he said, softly, "Someone who's about to have a very interesting three weeks."

They sat in silence—or rather, they sat in something that wasn't quite silence, charged and humming— for approximately forty-five minutes. Dylan learned several things during this time:

One, Jun was from Chiang Mai and had moved to Bangkok for his graduate studies. Two, he was specializing in nanoengineering with a focus on biomedical applications, which he explained with such passion that Dylan forgot to pretend he wasn't interested. Three, he had a younger sister who texted him too much and a mother who sent him care packages of dried mango every month. Four, he took his coffee black, which Dylan would have found charming if he wasn't still angry about the spilled coffee incident.

And five—most importantly—Jun listened when Dylan talked about his screenplay. Really listened, head tilted, eyes focused, asking questions that were actually intelligent.

"So you don't believe in romance," Jun said, during a lull in the conversation.

"I believe in chemicals," Dylan said. "Oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin. Temporary neurological states that we misinterpret as meaningful."

"And yet you're writing a rom-com."

"I'm writing a rom-com because Professor Chen is punishing me for saying When Harry Met Sally is overrated."

Jun winced. "You said that? Out loud?"

"In my defense, I was sleep-deprived."

"In your defense," Jun echoed, and there was something warm in his voice, something that wrapped around Dylan like a blanket, "you're very committed to being cynical. It's almost impressive."

"Is that a compliment?"

"It's an observation." Jun's knee bumped Dylan's, casual and maybe not casual at all. "I think there's a difference between not believing in romance and being afraid of it."

"And I think," Dylan said, leaning in despite himself, "that you're very presumptuous for someone I spilled coffee on three hours ago."

"Time is relative," Jun murmured. "Einstein said that."

"Einstein was talking about physics, not—" Dylan gestured between them, not sure what he was indicating, not sure what this was.

"Not what?"

"Not... this."

Jun smiled, small and secret, like he knew something Dylan didn't. "Noted."

The elevator jerked back to life.

They both startled, Jun's hand shooting out to steady Dylan's shoulder, and they froze like that—Jun's hand warm and heavy on Dylan's arm, their faces inches apart, breathing each other's air—until the doors opened on the fourth floor.

"This is me," Jun said, not moving his hand.

"Yeah," Dylan said, not pulling away.

They looked at each other, and Dylan felt it—that electric charge, that pull that had nothing to do with logic and everything to do with want.

"See you around," Jun said, finally dropping his hand and standing up. He smoothed his coffee-stained shirt, pushed his glasses up into his soft hair, and stepped toward the door.

"Yeah," Dylan said again, eloquently. "See you."

Jun paused in the doorway, looking back. The fluorescent lights caught his features, made him look almost ethereal. "Oh, and Dylan?"

"What?"

"I don't think it's bad luck." He smiled, wide and genuine, showing teeth and warmth and something that looked dangerously like promise. "I think it's good timing."

Then he walked away, leaving Dylan sitting on the elevator floor with his heart hammering against his ribs and a strange, fluttering sensation in his chest that he told himself was definitely just the aftereffects of caffeine withdrawal.

Definitely.

 

 

Dylan made it to his apartment. He made it to his laptop. He opened his screenplay document, which was still blank except for the title—"Untitled Rom-Com Project (Kill Me)"—and he stared at the blinking cursor.

Then he started to type.

INT. ELEVATOR - DAY

Two strangers, trapped. One is covered in coffee. One is covered in denial. They argue about physics and philosophy. They laugh at the absurdity. And when the doors open, something has shifted... something neither of them is ready to name.

Dylan paused.

He looked at his hand. He realized, with a start, that Jun hadn't given him his number. Hadn't asked for Dylan's. Had just... left.

He typed another line.

He doesn't believe in meet-cutes. He doesn't believe in fate. But he saves the memory anyway, and tells himself it's only research...

Dylan saved the document, closed it, and went to bed.

Tomorrow, he told himself, he would go to class. He would forget about Jun. He would focus on his screenplay, finish his assignment, and return to his regularly scheduled life of not believing in romance.

Tomorrow, everything will go back to normal.

He was, of course, completely wrong.

 

Notes:

welcome back readers! a full fluff rom-com fic, as promised, and i'm so excited to write this, because as much as i love traumatizing yall by writing devastating endings, i love jundylan a little too much to make them suffer so much

enjoy!! and follow (♡°▽°♡)