Chapter Text
Denji laid back in his pallet-bed with Pochita sitting in his lap taking a nap. Today was Thursday, which is the only day of the week he lets himself have breakfast, because it was also the day of the week that the Yakuza would come pick him up to send him after some devil they wanted him to kill. He always woke up earlier on these days, because he wanted to be fully awake before going out to risk his life like that. Pochita always slept in, but Pochita was a dog, and so he was allowed to sleep in. He always woke up a lot faster than he did anyway, so it was fine.
Today's breakfast was the same as every other breakfast he's had for the last few years. A single slice of bread — and a whole one at that. He and Pochita had come to an agreement. On Wednesday nights, Pochita would get a whole slice of bread for himself for dinner, while on Thursday mornings, Denji would get the next entire slice. He got lucky last week, and he was able to afford an entire loaf of white bread instead of just a few slices, so he was actually spoiling himself for once! Of course, a single slice of bread was nowhere near enough to actually fill his stomach up all the way, but it was enough to at least make him feel like his belly was full.
"Man… when was the last time my stomach was full?" Denji would have asked Pochita, but the round orange devil dog was still sleeping. "It had to be when my Mom was still alive… when did she die again? When I was like eight?"
Around there. In truth, Denji had trouble remembering how old he was. He could only guess that he was around fourteen years old right now, because every time the dawn of the new year came, people would have some crazy looking fireworks show in the distance that he'd watch from afar. Denji only really kept track of time when it came to how much food he could allow himself to eat in a single day, and what days he couldn't eat at all on, and the days where he could go to the garden hose in the backyard of this old guys house to fill up his water bucket so he could keep himself and Pochita hydrated. He was still nursing a bruise that wouldn't go away on his back when the old man caught him and threw a brick at him. Where did he even get the brick anyway? Was he just holding it in his back pocket the entire time?
Pochita whined in his lap, his big round eyes blinking as he raised his head, and Denji realized he had asked that question out loud.
"Ah, sorry bud, didn't mean to wake you," Denji said, patting his buddy on the head. "What do you think the Yakuza is going to send us after to hunt today? Hopefully its another one of those food devils, so we can steal some of its body to eat for ourselves."
"Woof…" Pochita barked in a warning tone.
"Yeah, you're right," Denji sagged his head and sighed. "Oyabun said if he catches us stealing part of the body again he'd kill us. Guess we'll have to settle for bread again when we can."
"Woof." Pochita agreed with him, nodding his head, causing the chainsaw sticking out of it to bob up and down.
Denji sat there for a little while longer, just resting against the pallet and doing his best to ignore the hunger pains in his stomach. His water bucket was only a quarter full, and he still had two days to go before that cranky old man would be distracted enough for him to steal some of his water again, so he couldn't even fill his belly up with water like he'd usually do when he felt painfully hungry. Pochita slumped his head on his knee, huffing air through his nose and keeping an eye on the entrance to the shed. It was like he was his guard dog. A guard dog with a chainsaw in it's head, which Denji thought was pretty cool. It was only a matter of time before Oyabun would come pick him up for another devil hunting mission, so he was just sitting there waiting for him right now.
"Y'know, Pochita, I'm really glad I've got you," Denji began, getting his buddy's attention. Pochita looked up at him, giving him an attentive, inquisitive look. That was how he knew that Pochita could understand him. Even if he couldn't talk, he could definitely listen to him. "I like talking to you, and you've basically been the only reason I've been able to stay alive this long. Thing is… I just really wish I had another friend, y'know?"
"Woof!" Pochita barked, offended.
"You're always going to be my best buddy!" Denji assured him. "I just… wish I could talk to other people too. It doesn't even need to be another human, it can be another devil like you! Maybe I can find another devil on the brink of death and make a contract with them to be my friend?"
"Ruff."
"Yeah, probably not," Denji sighed. "Would be pretty nice, though."
A car skidded to a stop outside his shed, and Denji knew the sound of that engine. He perked up as he heard footsteps reach his door, and recognized the three soft, but firm knocks coming from a man who came here with a job for him. Denji gave a look to Pochita when the little dog growled at the door, and gave him an assuring scratch on the back to calm him down. Pochita hated it when their 'territory' was intruded upon, he's learned over time, and Denji had to calm him down every time someone from the Yakuza found them to give them a job.
"Denji," Ah, today was the older guy's turn, Daisuke. He wasn't that bad, he never went out of his way to beat him like the other's did. "I've got a job for ya, come on out with that Dog Devil you've got in there."
"'s not a Dog Devil… he's literally got a chainsaw on his face." Denji whispered under his breath as he scooped Pochita into his arms, and picked him up as he stood. "Got it, Daisuke sir. I'll be right out."
Denji twisted the almost broken handle on his door and opened it, revealing a man with graying black hair and a few wrinkles on his face. Daisuke was a big old dude, towering over him like his Dad always used to back before he killed himself.
"What's the black eye from?" The Yakuza's helper asked, pointing at his face with a disgusted grimace.
"Brick." Denji answered simply. He sorta forgot he had a black eye when it healed enough that his right eye wasn't swollen shut anymore. That eye still hurt a lot though, and he was only reminded of it when Daisuke pointed it out. He was pretty sure it was infected or something. "What am I hunting today?"
"Cotton Devil," Daisuke replied, turning around with his hands in his pockets and walking over to the car. "It was spotted in the back of some old restaurant that's closed down recently. It's been frequenting a dumpster for some reason, so that's where I'm going to take you."
"Alright." Denji nodded, getting into the passenger seat in the back opposite of where the driver seat was. They didn't trust him enough to sit behind the drivers, as if he was going to do something to them. Denji wondered where they got that idea from, if he killed one of them, then what's next? He'd just fucking die, so there was no point.
He sat in silence for the entire car ride. It only took like twenty minutes this time, which Denji was happy about. Sometimes they drove him an hour away by car from his shed, and then he'd have to spend the entire day just finding his way back on foot. Twenty minutes away by car wasn't so bad by comparison, and he knew this town too. Pochita sat in his lap and spent the entire time looking like he was about to jump onto the driver and cut his face off with the chainsaw on his face. Which wouldn't be ideal, because then they'd probably get into an accident and die in the process. Thankfully, he was able to keep his hold on Pochita and thus he didn't try to get everyone killed.
"We're here," The driver announced, parking down the block from some rundown restaurant that looks like it's been foreclosed recently. "Hide in the woods or something and wait for the thing to show up. When you're done, let me know and I'll go get the boys to come pick it up."
"Yup." Denji knew the drill already. He's been hunting devils for the Yakuza for like five years already, and they told him the same thing every time. Not that it'd stop them from saying it to him again for the next five years anyway like he was some idiot who couldn't remember shit. He exited the car and winced as the sunlight hit him in the eyes, and he blocked it out with his hand. The first thing he did was look around, and the second thing was looking back as he heard Daisuke drive off somewhere and making his job a lot harder by since now he didn't know where the fuck he was.
"Whelp, guess they're gonna beat me up again today," Denji said with an annoyed sigh. "Why do they always do that…? They tell me to let them know when the devil is killed but then make it so fuckin' hard to find them when I kill the devil. Makes no damn sense to me."
"Grrr…"
"Yeah, I know." Denji rolled his eyes, then winced when his right one painfully scratched against the inside of his still slightly swollen eyelid. "Whatever, at least we'll still get paid. Let's get this over with."
The War Devil was the most powerful devil in existence. The War Devil had no equal.
The War Devil was also in a reduced state and currently making a nest in a dumpster behind a closed down Soup Restaurant.
But she was still proud of her new abode!
"I need more cotton," War whispered to herself with disdain and disappointment dripping from her beak as she said it. She tried looking around the inside of her precious metal box that had the best smelling garbage in this town, and cursed again when her crossed eyes refused to look in the same direction at the same time. "Where is that stupid Cotton Devil? He is late on today's shipment!"
War flapped her wings and pushed her head against the heavy plastic lid of her dumpster, which gave her the privacy she so proudly deserved. She winced as the light of the sun bothered her big, red eyes. Stupid sun, she swore that she would turn it into a fucking lamp whenever she regained her full strength! Setting aside her grudge against a celestial body, War looked around to see where her truest — and only — loyal servant was at, and sat there on the rim of her dumpster with an annoyed expression on her beautiful — Ugly — avian face.
She needed cotton to properly make her new nest. She has flown far and wide from the Japanese city of Tokyo, as the devils there were getting too hotheaded and cocky for her liking. The city also refused to bend the knee to her will, and so she punished it by removing herself from its premises. But oh, she would return, and she would make all of them bow in her presence and provide her with gifts everlasting!
Eventually…
War just needed to regain her strength. Ever since that damned Chainsaw Man partially erased her, she had been reduced to this pathetic, avian state. Once, she was tall, proud, muscular, and beautiful, and now she was a fucking Potoo. She didn't even know what a Potoo was! She only guessed that it was a bird because some idiot human child called her one when they spotted her in her masterful hiding spot at the top of a tree in their backyard!
Alas, she couldn't afford to be captured by her bitch sister… so she was forced to run awa- relocate to a new hiding spot. This far away in the boonies, she was sure that she would never be found again.
At least not by anyone that didn't serve her directly.
"Ah, at last!" War flapped her wings happily as she watched her loyal servant, the Cotton Devil, coming rolling into the empty parking lot in front of her new home. The Cotton Devil took the form of, well, cotton. Only it had a couple little arms that it used to walk on, and it's entire body was the shape of a cotton ball. It had three goofy looking eyes and a mouth full of teeth also made of cotton. The creature was even uglier and weaker than she was, and so instead of turning it into a weapon, she recruited the poor thing into her retinue. It was at least smart enough to swear fealty to her, and bring her cotton on the morn of every day for the last few weeks. It's ability to spit out cotton balls infinitely was an invaluable trait, given that she needed much comfort in order to restore herself to her full strength…
"Where have you been, Cotton!?" That was such a stupid name, War would have to come up with a new one for it eventually. "You are two minutes late, this is unacceptable! I should turn you into material for my nest!"
"My apologies, Lady War," Cotton replied in an apologetic tone. "A raccoon tried eating me on the way here… so I needed to escape it. Thus, my travel here was delayed."
"Damned raccoons!" War hated raccoons. They kept trying to get into her dumpster and eat her nest, and the fact they could climb trees made everywhere an annoying place to try and make a new home at. "Fine then, I accept your apology. Now, give me my-"
SQUELCH!
War stopped talking mid-word when she saw the shoe of a teenage human stomp down on her one and only vassal. The boy had shaggy blonde hair, a spindly body, red-brown eyes, and teeth the shape of arrows.
And he had killed her servant!
"Wow, did they really need me to kill this thing?" The boy asked something behind him. "That thing was a joke."
"YOU BITCH!" War screeched, her high pitched voice causing the boy to wince and cover his ears. "How dare you slay my loyal servant!? He was bringing me cotton! You shall suffer for this slight!"
"What the fuck?" The boy looked over to her, his eyes widening as he saw her. "A Bird Devil? They didn't tell me this was a two for one!"
"Woof!" An orange dog came into her vision, passing through the boy's legs. It had a chainsaw sticking out of its face, as well as a familiar scent. Huh, strange.
"You owe me a thousand apologies for daring to insult me so!" War demanded, flapping her wings angrily at the blonde. "Kneel before me and-"
Wait.
Wait one goddamn second.
War stopped mid sentence, and her gaze went back to the orange dog.
It had a chainsaw sticking out of it's face, and it looked at her with an expression of shock. It also smelled like… smelled like…
"YOU!" The proud War Devil spread it's wings angrily. "YOU DARE SHOW YOUR FACE TO ME AGAIN, CHAINSAW MAN!?"
"GRRRRR!" Her mortal enemy growled at her, revving it's chainsaw in defiance.
"Whoa, you know this one, Pochita?" The blonde asked him.
"Know him!?" War jumped down to the ground, her mortal enemy immediately trodded over to challenge her, and the two began to circle one another. Chainsaw with his teeth bared, and War with her wings spread wide and her beak at the ready. "I shall make him suffer for daring to challenge me! Have at thee, swine! It is time for our destined rematch!"
"RUFF!"
"HI-YAAAH!"
The battle of legends began as War flapped her wings, kicking at her rival with the dull claws on her bird legs. In response, the Chainsaw Devil dodged to the side, and proceeded to headbutt her in the side. However, War would not be taken down so easily, and so she pecked her mortal enemy in the eye, causing the dog to bark out in pain. That was what he deserved, for daring to stand against her back in Hell!
"There's a lot more where that came from, bitch!" War proclaimed. "Come get it!"
To Denji, he just watched as two small animals rolled around on the ground wrestling with each other. Pochita had a fat sausage shaped neck, and so he couldn't properly aim his chainsaw. The bird thing's beak and claws were too dull to even scratch Pochita's hide. So their 'destined rematch' devolved into a desperate grapple that became so energetic that they formed a cloud of dust around them. Denji himself didn't know what to do in this situation, as he'd never seen Pochita get so worked up, and he also didn't really want to hurt that other devil since she wasn't the one that he came there for.
So he just watched, and put his trust in his buddy to win.
After a couple minutes of the two of them rolling around in the parking lot, Pochita eventually pinned War against the dumpster in front of him. His chainsaw lodged into the dumpster beside her head, and War squawked in panic. She flapped her wings and flew away from him, though she was apparently too tuckered out to even get far off the ground anymore, and Pochita was too tired to run after her.
The two of them glared hatefully at each other, both of them breathing heavily and sweating bullets so big that they were forming puddles beneath them.
Honestly, Denji was trying his best not to laugh.
"You… you will pay!" The angry bird exclaimed heavily. "For what… Oh God… for what you did to me…! Fuck…"
"Woof… woof woof… grrrr… ruff."
"I fucking… can't understand you… stupid bitch…" The bird pointed a wing at Pochita, to which Denji assumed was some kind of rude gesture. "Even after all this time… you still can't speak a single comprehensible word…? Heh… how pathetic!"
"Vhorf!"
"Hah! I almost understood that one!"
"Actually, I'm pretty sure he just called you a whore." Denji pointed out, chuckling a bit at his friend's choice of words. The bird looked at him with crossed eyes and a look of shock, and at least one of those eyes actually reached his face.
"You!" The bird glared at him. "How dare you insult me so!? Gurh, I see how it is. You've found yourself a loyal servant as well haven't you, Chainsaw!?"
"Bow-wow!"
"THEN I SHALL TAKE AWAY ONE OF YOURS, AS YOU DID MINE!"
"Eh?" Denji watched as the Bird Devil thing flapped its wings, flying into the air. Pochita let out a shocked gasp as he watched the bird fly directly at Denji, striking him in the chest with the intention of bursting a hole right through him…
CRACK!
THUMP.
… only for her to break some bone in her body and fall to the ground like a sack of potatoes, knocking herself out rather than hurting him in the slightest.
"Huh," Denji crouched down, looking at the bird, and imagining stars revolving around her head. "She knocked herself out, that's actually pretty funny."
"Woof, woof!"
"Kill her? What?" Denji raised an eyebrow to his friend. "Why would I do that? You two have history, don't you? Were you two friends?"
Pochita rolled his eyes at him.
"Hey, don't give me that sassy shit!" Denji pointed angrily at his buddy. "What'd you do to her anyway? What was her calling you her mortal enemy all about?"
"Woof… ruff ruff… yap, bow-wow. Wan."
"Damn, that's rough." Denji said with a sad sigh. "So, you two did use to be friends, huh? I guess you two had a falling out. But hey, what's stopping you two from getting along again?"
Pochita gave him a deadpan stare.
(Narrator: Denji did not understand what Pochita was trying to say whatsoever, and guessed completely wrong.)
"Hey, I've got an idea," Denji said as he beckoned Pochita over. The round orange dog padded over to him, before gasping in shock when Denji cut his hand on his chainsaw. "I made a contract with you to save you and have you become my friend, remember? I'm gonna do the same with her!"
"WAROOF!?" Pochita balked.
Translation: "What the fuck, Denji!?"
"Oh c'mon, what's the worst that can happen?" Denji asked as he held his bleeding hand over the bird's slacked open beak. "She gonna peck my eye out in my sleep? Anyway, give me a second. Ahem:
This is a contract!" Denji proclaimed. "I'll give you my blood and bring you back to life, and in return, you're gonna be my new friend!"
Pochita raised his paw, and pressed it against his face while shaking his head.
"Ugh…" War groaned, blinking her tired eyes as she stood up in a dark place she didn't recognize. "What the… where am I?"
"Oh hey, she's awake!" The blonde boy from earlier exclaimed happily. "I tried making a contract with you earlier, but you were unconscious and couldn't accept it. But ah, well I couldn't just leave you in the middle of that parking lot unconscious to get killed by the Yakuza, so I brought you back home with me!" The boy gave her a toothy smile. "My name's Denji, what's yours?"
War blinked at Denji, shook her head, blinked again, and then looked at him to make sure that this wasn't some horrible dream.
"Woof!" Pochita barked at her in a warning tone.
Instead it was a horrible reality.
"Oh, HELL no," War screeched, flapping her wings angrily and preparing for round three. "If you think I am going to share a home with him, then you have another thing coming!"
"Well, it's not like you can get out of here anyway," Denji pointed out. "Look, how about this? I'll let you make a nest on that shelf right there, and that can be your spot. Pochita can't reach it so he can't bother you-"
"It's not about bothering me, boy!" War squawked. "Do you have any idea who I am? I am the WAR DEVIL! I am the most powerful devil in the world! The entire world knows my name!"
"Why do you look like a bird, then?" Denji asked, scratching his head.
"I-I-" War felt her cheeks darken underneath her feathers. "Fuck you!"
She angrily flew up to the shelf Denji referred too earlier. But not because he offered it to her, only because she wanted to get away from that damned Chainsaw.
"I will not be subjugated so effortlessly! If you seek to make a slave of me, then you have another thing coming, boy!"
"What? I'm not trying to subjugate you or whatever that means," Denji remarked.
"You… you're not?" War looked at him suspiciously. "Then why am I here?"
"I'm lonely," Denji said with a shrug. "And I wanted a new friend. Pochita here said he won't bother you or try to do whatever he did to anger you the first time again, so I figured maybe you can be that new friend and maybe even make up with him?"
The War Devil stared at him for several seconds.
Denji's face brightened up with hope.
"Are you stupid?" She asked him, abruptly interrupting his stupidly joyful look. "Do you really think I'd lower myself to accept this-"
"Want an entire slice of bread?" Denji offered suddenly, pulling out a slice of bread from a plastic bag he's been holding the entire time. War felt her stomach grumble.
"Perhaps arrangements can be made." War allowed, folding her wings back around her body. "I will accept your fealty as long as you bring me more bread. Him, though? If he gets near me, I'll kill him."
"Oroof." Pochita rolled his eyes.
"Awesome!" Denji smiled happily. "See Pochita? I told you nothing would go wrong!
The boy has fed her, so perhaps War would only turn him into a weapon later… as long as he keeps bringing her food, she'll let him live in her new shed.