Chapter Text
Four months later, Charles turns up in Hank's lab bearing lunch. "Erik made paninis," he says, holding out the plate to Hank.
Hank hasn't left the lab all morning and reaches for the sandwich without really looking at it, taking a large bite. It takes a few moments before he's able to say, "Thanks. What brings you down here?"
"Oh, you know..." Charles says, peering at the clutter of the table Hank is currently working at. "Just making sure you ate."
Hank is mid bite when Charles finishes talking, but he sets the sandwich back down, eyeing him suspiciously before asking, "What's going on?"
Charles presses his lips together into a tight line before saying, "I just... um... I need you to..." He keeps trailing off, looking at everything in the room aside from Hank.
"Charles," Hank prompts.
"I need you to, um, run some tests."
Hank has a bad feeling about this. "What kind of tests?" he asks.
"Y'know... to, um..." Charles winces, but then says in a rush, "see if I'm pregnant."
Hank doesn't do anything aside from staring at Charles and blinking for a long time. Finally, he says, "Please tell me you're joking."
"I really would if I could, my friend, but, um... no," Charles says. He's running his hands along the edges of his chair, a nervous habit.
Hank is still staring. "You're serious."
"Yes," Charles says.
"Again?"
"Yes." Charles winces, and hurries to add, "I really didn't mean--"
"For Christ's sake, Charles!" Hank yells. He stands up, walks over a set of drawers, and gets out a plastic cup that he tosses to Charles as he stalks back past him. "Pee in the cup," he says, heading towards the door.
"Hank? Where are you going?" Charles turns to follow him out.
"Just pee in the damn cup, Charles."
Hank stops in his own room briefly before searching through the mansion, finding Erik in the kitchen with Lorna. He stalks up him and shoves the box he'd grabbed from his room at Erik's chest. "Do you know what these are?" he asks.
Erik looks down, confused. "Condoms?" he says. It sounds like a question, and Hank's not sure if it's because Erik's never seen them before or because he doesn't know why Hank gave them to him. Hank suspects the former.
"Do you need a demonstration on how to use one?" Hank asks.
"No?" Erik says. It still sounds like a question.
"Then start. Using. Them." Hank punctuates each word with a jab of his finger into Erik's chest. Erik takes a half a step back each time, until the backs of his legs hit the bench at the kitchen table and he drops down onto his ass.
Hank spins around to leave, muttering under his breath, "You two are hopeless."