Chapter Text
Sammy didn’t want to do anything. He didn’t want to watch anything. He didn’t want to talk to anyone. He didn’t want to listen to anything.
Well that wasn’t really true. He did want to listen to something because maybe then his thoughts wouldn’t be so loud. Then maybe he could just escape for a little bit. But nothing sounded good -- not podcasts, not music, nothing. So he just laid sprawled on his back on the couch and watched the storm roll in through the windows.
He was glad for the storm. Weirdly he felt more alive when there was a storm lately. The sunlight felt exhaustingly cheery.
After a long time or a little, he didn’t know which, he heard Ben’s car outside. Too late for Sammy to retreat back to his room, Sammy just put his arm over his eyes and feigned sleep. He knew Ben would try to be upbeat and funny, which he appreciated, but it was too much today.
“Sammy, I'm ba---” Ben stopped mid-shout that he was home, then changed to a whisper when he saw the supposedly sleeping Sammy on the couch “oh, shit, sorry”. Ben slowly shut and locked the door and toed off his shoes, walking quietly back to his own room.
A few minutes later he heard Ben rummaging around in the kitchen with music playing very softly in the background. It was the kind of noise Sammy had wanted earlier but didn’t know it. It was like his own personal lo-fi live stream and he finally felt himself drifting. He wasn’t asleep yet, but it was that nice, peaceful in-between place that's only reached during an afternoon couch nap.
Well it was until Ben abruptly said, “I know you’re not sleeping, Sammy.”
Sammy’s body betrayed him and he flinched from the sudden noise.
“Oh. Well, maybe you are.” Sammy peered under his arm at Ben grumpily. “My bad. But you weren’t when I came in, that’s for sure.” Ben said triumphantly.
Instead of answering, Sammy just shrugged, moved his arm off his face and closed his eyes again.
Ben sighed. “I put some lasagna in the oven. It’ll be ready in like an hour”, he said hoping to get a response. Sammy just nodded. “It’s my mom’s cure-all-that-ails-you lasagna, Sammy, c’mon, get excited” he poked at Sammy.
Sammy pushed Ben’s hand away from where he was poking him in the side, but not in an unkind way. “Thanks, buddy”, but still didn’t open his eyes.
Ben sat quietly for a few moments and Sammy thought he would leave him be. And he wasn’t sure if he was relieved or disappointed. But Ben just asked, “Bad day?”
Sammy couldn’t say what it was for sure, whether it was the kindness of Ben cooking for him, or trying to cheer him up, or the quiet way he asked. Or that he was just Ben. But it got to him. Sammy could feel his jaw tense so it wouldn't quiver. He was tired of crying. He just nodded again.
Another moment of silence passed and Sammy dared a peek at Ben. He was staring down at Sammy deviously and just said, “Scooch over then”.
Well that was… unexpected. “Wh-?” Sammy started, but Ben just laid down on the couch next to Sammy torso to torso. Sammy’s arms had inadvertently been open like a hug when he’d sprawled out and then been surprised but Ben’s request. Ben fit into the hug and tucked his head underneath Sammy’s chin.
“This okay?” Ben asked quietly when Sammy didn’t hug back.
Sammy was even more choked up than before, but he replied anyways. “More than ok.” He finally relaxed into the embrace and closed his eyes again. “Thanks, Ben.”