Astroman1ac
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Summary
Four avatars walk into a bar and gossip about the Distortion's love life.
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The leather cuffs drop, still tightly fastened, into the tousled sheets. With pursed lips, Gerry watches Michael’s wrists blur back into place.
“Brat.” He grumbles.
Michael purrs like branches scraping a windowpane as Gerry runs a palm along the long curve of its neck, “It isn’t my fault.” It protests.
“Oh?” Gerry arches one dark brow.
“Circles, bookburner.” It retorts, tapping one of the abandoned cuffs with a sharp fingertip.
“What about them?”
Michael wrinkles its nose, “Fixed points at fixed distances.”
“Ah. They’re sensible, aren’t they?” Gerry hums, “Suppose you’d rather I ask you to divide by zero while I’m fucking you?”
“It couldn’t hurt.”
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So, the encounter with the door gradually slips from his mind.
In hindsight, that was probably Gerry's first mistake, since when he wakes up exactly two weeks later and his bedroom door is suddenly yellow, it’s a little upsetting to say the least.
“Oh fuck off,” is a pretty moderate reaction, considering, and Gerry spends a good hour in his bed, not moving, and not letting his eyes leave it. The compulsion to open it is back in full force, but this time he’s a little more sober and a little more prepared, so the itch is easy to crush. It’s not like he hasn’t had practice at resisting the whims of various entities.
If he’s not letting the Eye get to him, then there’s no way in hell that a door is going to claim him.
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Gerry has been hunting down Leitners since he was a kid - he's no stranger to general supernatural spookiness, so when a certain door monster inserts itself into his life, Gerry's pretty confident he can deal with it. He’s never been more wrong.
Or, Enemies to lovers but one of you has knives for hands and enjoys the odd human snack
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,867
- Chapters:
- 1/1
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- 1
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Bookmarked by Astroman1ac
27 Apr 2026
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Playing With Matches (We Knew This Would Happen) by cedarbranch
Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
22 Jun 2021
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Summary
Michael looks back at Gerry. “You’ll text?” he asks quietly.
They stand only an arm’s length from each other. Gerry’s mouth goes dry. He licks his lips, and he doesn’t miss the way Michael’s gaze flicks downwards. He doesn’t miss the fact that they’re saying goodbye, and if things were only slightly different, there might be an expectation of how this evening would end.
If it starts raining right now, Gerry might choke on the cliches.
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A college AU in which the gang forms a band, Gerry falls in love with an art student, and everyone has to grow up eventually.
Series
- Part 1 of Magnolia Verse
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 89,296
- Chapters:
- 3/3
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- 1
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- 105
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- 451
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Bookmarked by Astroman1ac
25 Apr 2026
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Absolutely so cute
Tooth rottingly sweet omg10/10 do read again
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Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? (you should be) by Snoweylily
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
24 Apr 2026
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“No post on Sundays” Uncle Vernon announced happily, “No damn letters today-”
Something came whizzing down the kitchen chimney as he spoke and caught him sharply on the back of the head. The next moment, thirty or forty letters came pelting out of the fireplace like bullets.
“That does it!” he snapped, his beady little eyes focused solely on Harry, “It’s you that they want. And they won’t stop coming after us until you’re… gone”.
Harry didn't like the sound of that.
“But Vernon, we can’t! You heard what that- that despicable old man told us!”
“Don’t worry, pet” Vernon said, his nasty grin triumphant, “I’ll leave him someplace so far away that those freaks will never trace him back to us. There’s an institute up north, for these- these hopeless cases and whatnot - St Brutus's Secure Centre for Boys. I’ll leave him there, and then we can get back to our nice, normal life”.Or, the one where Harry doesn't attend Hogwarts in first year but finds his way to the wizarding world anyway, and this changes everything.
- Language:
- English
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- 777,960
- Chapters:
- 127/?
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Bookmarked by Astroman1ac
27 Jul 2025
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
DSJGKLSDJKLSDJKLSDJLK AAAAA <3
TL:DR Harry get's dumped by the dursleys at a school for 'troubled boys' when the letters start harassing them. At the school, Harry befriends a boy who is a wizard there (whom is unable to attend hogwarts due to family drama). Harry learns alot about magic + dark magic due to the books that his friend read (they're a dark family) and eventaully he decides to seek out his family and make his way into the wizarding world.
Sirius and Remus are free and together by the time Harry finds them (Harry was in 4th year, I think) but Harry does not like Albus Dumbledoor because he's the reason Sirius was not freed - as well as the fact dumbledoor was repeatably lying about 'keeping harry safe in an undisclosed location' in the papers.
Harry is sorted into slytherin, become friends with the basillisk, goes into politics, and realises he has a mental connection with Lord Slytherin (who he knows is voldemort) after vold sends him the vision about Sirius being captured at the ministry. Harry tells nobody, and heads off there himself, after verifying that sirius is actually safe at home, because: "If the dark lord is going to put all of the effort in, I might as well show up." The dark lord doesn't show up though, to Harry's dismay, and so he shows the death eaters the prophecy right then and there to send a message to vol that he thinks it's all stupid.
Vol is inclined to agree, and feels a bit silly now. They meet regularily in their dreams, and banter about politics lol.
It also took over 400,000 words for Harry and Vol to speak to each other lmao.Chapter Re-caps:
90 (Dumblesnore takes Harry into his office for a 'lesson' where Harry sees the orphanage pensive, and Harry LOSES his mind at dumbledore, stating that he refuses to have any more lessons if all they're going to be about is turning Harry against Tom, quoting: "You’re not showing me how he became Lord Voldemort - you’re just showing me how everyone, including yourself, let Tom Riddle become him)
96/97 (Vol delivers Umbitch's severed head to Harry in an order meeting as a gift, not understanding that it's not appropriate (lol) and Harry has to fend for himself while the entire order goes nuts around him.)
113 - Tom realises the cloak Harry has is a hallow, and that his ring is a hallow, but does not know where the elder wand is.
114/5 - Sirius and Remus jump on Snape and both make out with him, 'top 10 reasonjs why u should date us' style (they are winning), Harry yells at Tom for being a bitch that keeps avoiding the fact they both are head over heels for each other, and Harry gets Sanguini's contact info.
116/117 - Siri, Remus and Snape go on another date. Tom kisses Harry and then throws him off an imaginary cliff, like a coward.
119/120 - Big scary Dark Lord and Harry are very cuddly now lol. Harry speaks infront of wizenmagot about women being heirs, and Snape gets jumped and sectumserpa'd in a back alley, Harry apperates him out on a cliff hanger.
121 - Harry heals him with dark magic (bc Dark counters Dark) to the shock of DD and Remus. Sev is okay, and everyone makes out!
122 - Remus and Sirius geek out about how well Sev and Harry get along, and then Harry sleeps and meets up with (makes out with) Tom, telling him about the attack. Tom says 'ill deal with it' and Harry was like 'okay lol, don't get caught bbg' :3
123/124 - Crawley dead, Barty killed em :) Harry crashes out about how shit Azkaban is, Tom is like 'yeah, okay, i mean if u want to fix it then u can ig, it might break the ministry' and Harry was like 'that doesnt sound like a me problem' and then they kiss (and more). DD comes to house to question Snape and Harry on whereabouts of Crawley, both have good alibis and r like 'idk bro' but they deffo do know, and then joke about it after. Sirius and Lupin r like omg guys lol, and then kiss sev for lying 2 DD to his face :3
125 - Since there be azkaban business ahead, Harry wanted to learn how to patronus - which he did wandless and nonverbally, ofc. He has a Thestral, very cool. Him and Tom then dream-meet, and Tom is very impressed. On the other side, Sev decides he wants to officially be apart of Remus and Siri's ship, and there be smut ahead.
126 - and they fuc (part 2 going to be in 127, probably)
127 - yep