BlueberryJam



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    Barstool Sports Canada reports that Montreal Metros captain Shane Hollander has started learning Russian from new teammate and Russian rookie Sergei Dovonchezky.

    Ilya has some thoughts. None of them are particularly kind.

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    16 May 2026

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    When you’re going up in flames, sometimes other people can smell the smoke. On the flip side, at least: when you’re on fire, sometimes other people can feel the warmth.

    Or, scenes from Home Economics, told from the perspective of everyone else.

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    03 Apr 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    "What about with girls?” Ilya asked.

    Shane shrugged. He didn’t want to think about that now, not here, not when Ilya was conditioning his hair, not while the shower was warm and no one had to rush to find their underwear in a hurry.

    ”I don’t know, just regular.”

    “Regular,” Ilya said, like he was rolling the word around in his mouth, “Hm. Shame that you have to tell all your women I gave you crabs.”

    Shane elbowed him in the ribs, just a light touch, “Fuck off, you don’t have crabs.”

    The MHL has some of their finest in New York City to film promo for the upcoming season. Shane doesn't notice that, in the absence of hockey, Ilya keeps inventing games to keep his attention.

    Featuring a broken condom, too many questions, and probably too much vulnerability for two guys who aren't even supposed to be friends.

    (Canon-compliant, set in the ep. 4 montage)

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    23 Mar 2026

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    “Mm, not stuff his pockets with the drug everyone thinks makes you gay right before a press conference? Maybe!” Ilya’s voice chimed happily from the phone.

    “You wanna tell us why you’re so acquainted with Rush that you can identify it in 780p, Ilya?” Kip asked.

    “…I have so much leather to deodorize, Kip Grady. So many sports cars, you know.”

    --

    Kip can't believe no one else can tell how outrageously gay Ilya Rozanov is, but he's not complaining, he's happy to have someone else to talk to at all the hockey functions.

    Or: Perfect gaydar haver Ilya Rozanov finally gets a taste of his own medicine. A series of looks into Kip and Ilya's friendship, starting after the cottage.

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    23 Mar 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    He only realizes he’s doing it when it’s too late to stop.

    He’s standing in the drink aisle of the grocery store, checking the expiration dates on the cans of Coke, mentally cross-checking them with Boston’s away game schedule, and the reality hits him like someone shook one of those cans and popped it open. A snap. A fizz. A mess.

    Shane is making space for Ilya.

     

    (or, lessons in budget-friendly shopping, home decor, and resisting the urge to neatly combine all your situationship’s shit into a drawer in your bedroom because you might be falling in love with him: a seven-ish step guide by shane hollander, who is so, so fucked)

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    19 Mar 2026