Boop_Ba_Doop



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  1. Rec 76

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    Ilya can’t be realizing, at nearly thirty-five years old, that he isn’t as happy with who he is as he thought he was.

    Because then, what? What is he supposed to do with that realization, except grieve? Should he mourn a life he might have had if his childhood hadn't been the way it was?

    He has Shane now, and Shane loves him just the way he is, just as he's always known Ilya. This life led him to Shane, and being able to build something with him is the best thing that's ever happened to Ilya. He can’t, ever, fuck this up. He will always try fold himself into smaller pieces to preserve this.

    But I don’t want to have to do that, his heart shouts at him. I don't know if I can do that anymore.

    Or: Ilya Rozanov fights against and then accepts the fact that there's no such thing as being too late to learn more about yourself, and still be loved.

    Series
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    4,510
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    1/1
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    02 Jun 2026

  2. Rec *

    Words:
    10,228
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    1,348

    28 May 2026

  3. Rec *

    Words:
    78,409
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    3
    Bookmarks:
    834

    20 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Welcome to the secure chat room.
    Chatting with 10 users.
    You are user AU08

    Rozanov: I want to coordinate a mass coming out for a bunch of MLH players. If we all come out at once, no one has to be first.

    Or, after his father's funeral Ilya decides to gather all the queer hockey players for a mass coming out.

    Language:
    English
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    4/4
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    19 May 2026

  5. Rec *

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    “I’m sorry I’m not him,” Shane says, looking away.

    “Who?”

    “Future me. Whoever you fell in love with.” What’s unsaid hangs in the air: whoever fell in love with you. Because this Shane – 2010 Shane – doesn’t love him. Is amused by their daily lessons, comforted by his presence, even grateful. But love?

    “That’s the thing, Shane,” Ilya says. His eyes are shining. “You are, right now, exactly who I fell in love with.”

    In 2031, Shane wakes up in the hospital certain that it's 2010. Ilya is there to remind him of the two decades he's missed and the life they've built along the way.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,790
    Chapters:
    20/20
    Comments:
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    18 May 2026