Iliedaboutthechocolates



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    “Just got the word from the officials, Metros are shutting Miitka down for the night," LeClaire says almost dispassionately. “Third period we’re up against,” LeClaire consults his clipboard, “Shane Hollander. Drafted 2009, current starter for the Laval Maples, posts a .905 save percentage.”

    Ilya stays where he is, rolling the name around in his head once, without much interest.

    Hollander.

    Doesn’t ring a bell.


    Inspired by that one twitter post, what if Shane was a goalie?

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    19 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Shane's neat little boxes. Such good writing of an overtly autistic shane

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    In 2021, Shane Hollander reveals his relationship with former rival Ilya Rozanov to the shock of chronically online people worldwide, who’ve spent the last decade convincing the world he’s secretly in love with his teammate Hayden Pike

    feng (she/her) @flowerfeng · Apr 3, 2021
    gotta feel bad for shane hollander. like imagine everyone wishing you were in a secret gay relationship. and you gotta spend your career swearing you’re not in a secret gay relationship. but you ARE in a secret gay relationship. just w the wrong guy

    booboo the fool @cinnacin · Apr 4, 2021
    shane hollander w a hand on the bible: no im not in a decade-long secret relationship w fellow hockey player hayden pike
    roger cromwell: ok say it again without the hayden pike part 
    shane hollander: sweats nervously 

    (Or, imagine if #Shayden was the #LarryStylinson of the HR/GC universe)

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    07 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Chaos and hilarity

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    John Cook: Hollander keeps possession of the puck as Rozanov checks Cameron out of Hollander's way, and... Hollander scores! What a beaut of a goal that was!

    Patrick Colt: [laughing] I don’t think the opposition know what to do with themselves against Rozanov and Hollander. 

    [Ilya Rozanov skates round to where Shane Hollander is standing. Hollander has a wide grin on his face after the recent goal. 

    Rozanov collides into Hollander, hugging him jokily and leaning to plant a wet his on Hollander’s helmet. However, at the last second, Hollander turns to look at Rozanov. 

    Their lips meet in a kiss.

    The two break apart instantly and stare at each other in horror.]

    Jack Saad: Oh. That’s… Hmm.

    John Cook: [spluttering] Erm-

    Patrick Colt: [faintly] Huh. Well. That’s not something you see everyday. 

    (the shane/ilya helmet kiss at the 2017 all stars game but shane turns his head at the last moment and they kiss on the mouth. social media reacts)

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    02 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Utterly ridiculous. Tremendously delightful. Reread when you want a good cackle.

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    The Swiss National League doesn’t care about the legendary Hollander-Rozanov rivalry. When the MLH can’t negotiate with the Hockey Players’ Union in time to prevent a hockey lockout at the start of the 2015 season, the Zürich Lions jump at the chance to sign both Shane and Ilya to short-term contracts. For four months in Switzerland, they share a team, a line, a house, and a bed. 

    Then the lockout ends in January, and it’s time to go back. Back to different countries, cities, lives. Beds.

    Reentry is harder than expected.

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    22 Mar 2026

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    When Ilya and Shane decide they want a plan to let them soften the rivalry and (maybe, eventually) come out without it being an NHL emergency, they ask Yuna for help. Yuna's got a 6 stage plan and it is absolutely, definitely going to work.

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    20 Mar 2026