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After a terrible week in which Crookshanks died and Ron left her via four words on a scrap of parchment, 30-year-old Hermione is forced to take a leave of absence from work. Unfortunately, it quickly becomes clear her job was the last thing keeping her sane.
When she finds out Harry is investigating the unexplained disappearance of Draco Malfoy—now an Unspeakable in the Department of Mysteries—she finally has a problem to solve. The case sucks her in in more ways than one, and she finds herself tangling with a powerful magical object, as well as Draco's weird and wonderful subconscious.
tl;dr Hermione gathers extensive material for an inevitable 'Am I the Asshole?' post
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- English
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- 153,536
- Chapters:
- 44/44
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Bookmarked by Motawis
10 Feb 2026
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Astoria Greengrass and Pansy Parkinson are dead. The circumstances surrounding their separate ends are mysterious indeed.
Of course, there exists a link between them: the lover, the shadow... the disgraced ex-Auror, Draco Malfoy.
Driven by her penchant for intrigue, Hermione agrees to help the Auror Office by orchestrating a honey trap to seduce and ensnare Draco. Little does she know, she might just be walking into a trap of her own...
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And thus began a very complicated and unideal state of affairs in which Draco couldn’t ask whether the world-ending, all-consuming randiness he felt all day every day from that point on was a symptom of his magical fake-real (but mostly fake) pregnancy and something that she was also experiencing, or simply the logical progression of his hithertofore unacknowledged obsession with Hermione Granger.
Or, Draco has couvade syndrome (the magical version!) thrust upon him.
Bookmarked by Motawis
28 Jan 2026
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Draco awakens in the aftermath of a terrible battle with a purring cat on his chest. He takes the squash-faced beast home to the Manor with him, and they quickly form an unlikely bond.
Yes, he realises it’s Hermione Granger’s cat.
And no, he’s not giving him back.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,174
- Chapters:
- 1/1
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- 1
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- 274
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Bookmarked by Motawis
27 Jan 2026
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Hermione Granger has bigger things to worry about than Draco Malfoy.
She's overworked and underpaid; she’s juggling newly un-Obliviated parents, rapidly dwindling romantic prospects, and unfathomable mountains of medical debt.
But when Malfoy begins to disappear on Sunday mornings, returning in muggle clothes, smelling faintly of candle smoke, Hermione just can't seem to convince herself that it's none of her business.
Bookmarked by Motawis
25 Jan 2026
