Neateo6000
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Recent works
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Summary
When Draco tells her that he plans to spend the solstice alone, Hermione has other ideas.
Unfortunately, so does the Manor.
A Fuck-or-Die Christmas RomCom featuring blood magic, breeding kinks, and a sentient manor that is determined to get the job done.
Written for A Very Merry Daddy Knows Best 2025.
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Summary
Draco Malfoy was having a crisis.
It was existential.
Fundamental.
The foundations upon which his world stood were quavering.
The fabric of reality was unraveling around him.
He didn’t know how to fit this new information into his understanding of the universe.
Ron Weasley… was hot?
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Miss Hermione Granger is quite the wallflower. Her family’s former ward is determined to change that.
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It is the first annual session of the Camp for Muggleborn Integration, Networking, and Goodwill Experiences, and Camp Director and organizer Hermione Granger needs everything to go perfectly. Unfortunately, two of her counselors, Ron Weasley and Draco Malfoy, cannot stop fighting.
Enter: The Get-Along Shirt
Or:
Dronmione shenanigans and threesomes at summer camp. There's fighting, there's fucking, there's friendship bracelets. What more could you need?
Written for the Wet Hot Dr(on)mione Summer Fest.
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Draco Malfoy is over Hermione Granger. He is. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t sting to watch her marry Viktor Krum. Ron Weasley understands, and he has an idea about how they can get over it.
Series
- Part 3 of Smutty Weasley One Shots
Recent series
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Summary
I've written two smutty one shots about Weasley siblings and I don't see myself stopping there. Maybe I'll do all seven eventually?
- Words:
- 17,246
- Works:
- 3
Recent bookmarks
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Hearthfire by baitswitch [the podfic] by PillowTalkPodfics, SaltyOrange (Velaaa)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
27 Oct 2025
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Summary
Samhain is a time of cleansing, a time to seek purity and protection. Isolated in the Irish countryside, Draco will take no chances in upsetting the ancient magic steeped in the surrounding mountains — not when his wife's safety is at stake.
OR
Imagine Bodkin, but if it was a Dramione-coded super cosy cottagecore romance with fluff and porn but absolutely no murder. Then make yourself a cup of tea. That's what this is.
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Summary
Ron catches Harry fucking Malfoy in the Quidditch sauna. Then Malfoy fucking Harry in their flat. Multiple times. Ron’s been having weird reactions to it, like angry boners and weird sex fantasies. Even though he’s most definitely heterosexual.
It's fine. None of Harry's boyfriends actually stick around. Ron is sure it's fine. He's heterosexual. And he's definitely not in love with his best mate.
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Summary
A finger touched Harry’s chin, forcing him to look up and meet the icy blue eyes that belonged to the man next to him. “Do you like what you see, Harry?”
He forced himself to swallow, but did not look away. His hand burned with an old memory: I must not tell lies. The silence between them seemed to stretch on into an endless ether—one where time, space, even gravity itself did not tether Harry to reality.
Finally, he answered. “Yes.”
Or, Harry gets caught in a compromising position by the object of his every desire, and is forced to reconcile with reality.
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Summary
For her birthday, Hermione Granger-Malfoy is gifted a mouth between her thighs, and two
cockscompeting to wreck her - one belonging to her immaculate husband, the other to her tattooed ex.What starts as a harmless game quickly turns into a decadent tug-of-war: old rivalries rekindled, pleasure weaponized, and one witch caught gloriously in the middle.
She said she’d set the pace.
They said they’d behave.
Everyone lied.Now there’s only one question left…
Whosecockdeserves the crown?(Spoiler: she’s still counting votes.)
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Summary
Every terrible moment in his life, Draco thought about how one of the most powerful potions in existence curled up and around others like opalescent smoke, pulsing bright and thick like ichor, beckoning and enticing everyone…but.
Him.
Nothing.
Draco deserved this.
or, for some reason Amortentia has no scent for Draco. It's something he considers a terrible flaw and believes it's proof he lacks the capacity to feel romantic love.
But everything is fine. (narrator: everything was not fine.)