ScrapSovereign
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That One Time I Got Kidnapped By A Vampire Lord by ScrapSovereign
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
30 Nov 2025
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Summary
Mackenzie’s week is going to end like a country song.
Her cat died a month ago, her ancient Toyota Camry is on its last legs, and she thinks her Twitch streamer husband Ari, who she supports fully on her dime, is cheating on her…again. Things couldn’t get any worse.
When a handsome, mysterious stranger named Astarion Ancunin waltzes into her life and sweeps her off her feet, she thinks things are starting to look up. However, she didn’t expect him to take her wish to start over as a carefree aristocrat so literally. Or to discover the two men have secrets of their own- some of which are deadlier than others.
There’s a saying that home is where the heart is- will she find it with Astarion, in Baldur’s Gate?
(Smut chapters marked with a *, rating and tags to change as the story updates/gets worse)
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What happens when your drive home in the middle of the night doesn't turn out like you'd expect?
Mackenzie's had some surprises tonight she didn't anticipate. A kiss from her long time best friend and a nosy hitchhiker with a man bun is one thing, but she didn't have being squidinapped into a UFO that looks like an eldritch cuttlefish on her bingo card for 2018.
Or the ensuing crash on a world she thought was fiction, the fact that she has a worm in her head, powers from a source she'd lost faith in...
...and a group of weirdos who interact with her like she's the main female character in an otome game.
In this strange place where magic and monsters are real, will she be able to survive the challenges ahead and find a way home?
OR
My female protagonist from "That One Time I Got Kidnapped By a Vampire Lord" gets yeeted to Faerun and live reacts to the tadfools, heals some old trauma while getting new trauma, and just really wants to go home.
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At Tav’s first meeting with him, he held her against him on the ground at knifepoint. She certainly didn’t anticipate the arousal that he would awaken in her. She told herself that her traitorous body was reacting in an inconvenient way to a flood of adrenaline.
Her days spent in the wilds providing guidance and protection to those who could spare a bit of coin told her that whatever she felt toward him would wane. It was just a passing spark of lust that would snuff itself out as they neared their destination.
That’s the way it had always been, and that’s the way it would go this time.
…until it went off the fucking rails.
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TL;DR: A smutty, canon divergent re-telling of the game featuring a love triangle between Tav/Astarion/Gale and dad jokes nobody asked for or wanted.
Smut chapters are marked with a * in front of the chapter name.
Dead Dove, Do Not Eat chapters are marked with a DD in front of the chapter name.
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Summary
Your master decides to punish you for not sitting still and being good for him.
When another offers to participate, he allows it...but only on his own twisted terms.
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You are presented to the new lord that rules over your lands as a tithe in place of the coin and crops that are owed to him in tribute.
He isn’t at all what you expected.
When you ask him why he had chosen you specifically, he takes it upon himself to show you by teaching you a lesson.
(I.E. Astarion gets off to you participating in a self-esteem building exercise of his own design)
Baldur's Gate (unofficial) Kinktober Prompt Day 18: Body Worship
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Summary
In the near distant future, Earth has become more of a shit hole than it already was. However, President Crustings Tringus XV has created the "Cave Dwelling Act of 42069 BC (before cannabis)." This law requires every living thing to be put in a cave. There are caves for everyone and everyone belongs in their cave. One a year, there is a holy holiday called "light day." This is when people leave their caves to soak in the vitamin D and light a good toke.
This tells the story of one fierce Gungan Daddy named Daddy Binks. He was a legend -- a myth, if you will. Tales of him spread throughout the entire cave systems of the world. His massive lightsaber was the biggest gossip around. Daddy Binks lived in a reserved cave system only for legends called the "Pimp Caves." This is his tale.
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Sometimes you have to sell your blood to a vampire to keep your head above water.
Bookmarked by ScrapSovereign
27 Sep 2024